Eating Disorder?

Catchy title, huh? OK - I'm just gonna put this out there: Anyone ever cruised with someone with an eating disorder? Not going to say much more on the subject yet - curious if anyone has any information to offer. Thanks -

Catchy title, huh? OK - I'm just gonna put this out there: Anyone ever cruised with someone with an eating disorder? Not going to say much more on the subject yet - curious if anyone has any information to offer. Thanks -

I know you don't want to go into details, but what are we talking about here.

Bulimic, well you might want to give your room steward a heads up so he won't think that the infamous Norovirus is aboard and in one of his cabins. You might want to bring a heavy duty air freshner for use in the bathroom so the stench of upchuck doesn't overpower the entire room.

Anorexic, well you might want to let the wait staff know that you love the food, but just don't eat a lot. If you don't they will be bringing piles and piles of food for you to try.

Catchy title, huh? OK - I'm just gonna put this out there: Anyone ever cruised with someone with an eating disorder? Not going to say much more on the subject yet - curious if anyone has any information to offer. Thanks -

If you are asking whether an eating disorder could be exacerbated on a cruise I would have to say, yes. It could be so easy for someone to gorge themselves since all the food is included and basically available 24 hrs. a day from room service round the clock to abundant buffets and multiple courses in the dining room.

If it is yourself, you may want to get a handle on your disease before you board. If it is a loved one, you may have to have a harsh intervention before hand about the type of behavior you will or will not tolerate. Just like an alcoholic you could say, I will walk away if you keep eating that way or I will not clean up after you or hold your hand if you purge.

Eating disorders can kill. I hope you find the help you are looking for.

Thanks for your reply Joanne. I felt like the one other post was a little ........ well, I'm not sure of the word I'm looking for. The post really didn't offer any of what I would consider good advice. I thought your post sounded sincere.

It's not me with the eating disorder - it's a loved one. We avoided a cruise last year because of the food issue. Things seem to be more under control now - although if you've dealt with an eating disorder you kow they're never REALLY under control.

Bottom line is that we need a family vacation, and we discovered that food tends to be a pretty big part of almost all vacations. At least on the cruise I'm guessing there will be lots of healthy choices available (fish, salads, etc.). When that stuff is available, it's alot easier to avoid the really "bad" stuff (at least that's what we've noticed.)

The cruise isn't until this summer. Lots can happen between now and then - both good and bad. I just thought I'd reach out to see if anyone wanted to share some personal experiences. People in this situation very often like to share - especially when it is anonymous.

Thanks for your thoughts -

Thanks for your reply Joanne. I felt like the one other post was a little ........ well, I'm not sure of the word I'm looking for. The post really didn't offer any of what I would consider good advice.

 

SusieQusie, I know it sounded harsh, but eating disorders are nasty things to deal with. I've been overweight , okay, I'll say it obese, most of my life and just within the last year seem to be getting a handle on it. Part of it was finally coming to the realization that if I didn't lose a lot weight I wasn't going to be around much longer. I figured out that there were more important things , i.e. my granddaughter, than consuming an huge bag of Butterfingers or whatever else I thought I had to have to be happy.

I truly hope that your loved one gets to go with you on your vacation and more importantly is able to overcome his/her addiction to food. I know my struggle with food will be a lifelong battle and this is one war I want to win.

 

 

Again, I did not wish to sound mean, but sometimes it truly is hard to confront reality.

Hey SusieQ

Haven't been on this board in awhile and hope all is well with your family member.

Again, while you didn't disclose the exact disorder it is hard to know what information you are looking for.

Yes, there are lots of healthy choices available on a cruise. Last year my DH and I managed to eat quite well yet still enjoy some cake or frozen yogurt now and then. (We had gotten rid of 70lbs each before that cruise).

Last cruise we went a bit overboard and we know we need to start our healthy eating again.

That's my confession.

I guess I would say that a cruise can be more than the food. There are your ports of call and on-board activities and dancing at night and a gym to work out in during the day. It doesn't all have to be focused on the food.

Again, I hope your family member is being helped and that you can have a relaxing, family vacation.

Thanks to both Buddyjo and IzzBizz's Gran for their recent replies. Sometimes it's hard not to be oversensitive about all this stuff - I'm a little oversensitive about things in general, and this subject is especially touchy.

But I am the one who made the original post, so I am reaching out and I'm appreciative of anyone who takes the time to reply. Sorry, IzzBizz, if I over-reacted.

It's actually my 17-year old daughter, and she suffers from bulemia (sp?). Things are very up and down these days. It's frustrating to have absolutely NO idea where she'll be (emotionally) by next August. I think that if she's in a good place, she'll be fine on the cruise. She'll be able to enjoy the healthy choices and the fun activities. If she's in a bad place, all that food probably won't be a good thing, but being at home without a summer vacation could be a very stressful thing for her. It's either a win/win or a no win situation.........these eating disorders provide a very bumpy ride.

Thanks for letting me vent a little. As I said earlier, things are not really great right now, and I'm always looking for some type of personal outlet for my thoughts. When you're living something like this, it's easy to become totally obsessed with it, and some people probably become a little tired of hearing it. (And guess what: The eatng disorder discussion board that I found seems to have more technical difficulties than this cruise board!! HaHaHa)

Hi there,

I'm a bulimic who hasn't binged and purged in several years. Even if I don't binge or purge for 50 years, I will still always call myself a bulimic, the same way that alcoholics identify themselves as alcoholics even if they haven't had a drink in years. The condition seems to be one that never really leaves you, but it really does get better. It is important to know that other things can play into bulimia. I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and when I went on medication to help with that, I was finally able to get a handle on the bingeing. I know this is very personal information for me to give out to people I don't know, but I feel like it is my obligation to come forward. There is NO WAY I could have ever broken the cycle without medication and lots of emotional support (there are groups like Overeaters Anonymous, as well as support groups through many hospitals, and they really help a lot).

I went on my first cruise while I was in the thick of my disease, and I can tell you that it didn't make my condition any worse. In fact, I was at my worst when I was home alone. I could spend $100 on food in one day and eat every last bite without enjoying one single second of it. It was truly awful. Being alone, bored, stressed, or any one of 100 other things could exacerbate it. When I went on my cruise with my husband (well, he was my boyfriend at the time), it really sort of distracted me from the disease. There was always so much to do and so many people around. Granted, all that food was tempting, but no matter where I was, if I wanted food, I would get food, so the cruise didn't really make that any different. And, while I was on the cruise, I couldn't isolate myself from everybody and just be alone with my food, so that was another thing that was helpful.

Anyway, you might hear from somebody else who had a totally different experience. I can only speak for myself here, and I'm not a medical professional.

Oh, and as to the post from IzzBizz's Gran, it didn't offend me at all. I often found that the best way to deal with my eating disorder was to laugh at its ridiculousness. That's not for everybody, I know, but being able to laugh at it seemed to give the illness less hold over me (but only with the help of a lot of other elements).

I hope this is helpful, and I wish you and your daughter the very best. I fear that we're only going to see eating disorders rise (I'm a teacher, and I've actually noticed that even with boys, the obsession with body is on the rise).

Barbara:

Thank you so much for your very honest post. Alot of the things you said make perfect sense to me. My daughter is on medication and she is in a program. I feel thankful that she "came out" about this pretty early in the process. She's very open and honest and tells me alot about what's going on with her.......sometimes I think she tells me too much, but that's another story! I'm hopeful that because she wasn't suffering in silence for a super long time, her chances of getting a better handle on this are promising. (I hear about and have met people who go years, even decades before they ask for help.) I do understand that it will probably be a lifelong issue for her. That's one of the hardest parts for me as her mom. It just breaks my heart to think that she'll probably have to deal with this forever. But I can confidently say that we are doing absolutely everything we can to help her out and she is working very hard. This time last year we were in a much worse place.

Your comment about being home alone being a bad time is exactly like her. Weekends when she doesn't have lots of plans are absolutely the worst for her. She definitely needs to be busy. And usually, as long as there are healthy choices around for her, she's able to do pretty well with an abundance of food. We run into problems when we can't seem to find anything healthy that she wants.

As far as the sense of humor issue - believe it or not, I absolutely agree with that. She and I share some pretty warped jokes about the situation. I'm not sure why that one response hit me the wrong way the first time I read it. I think I might have taken it as someone who had absolutely no idea what an eating disorder is about giving a callous answer. I realize now that this wasn't the case. I guess I was being over-sensitive.

I thank you for your feelings that you should talk to others about your situation in order to help them. It's definitely good to hear from someone who seems to be doing well. It's hopeful.

And finally, I'd like to say that I found your post extremely helpful. I know that everyone's situation is different, but the information you gave really was the type I was looking for. Thanks again.

Well SusieQusie,

I'm really glad I was able to offer some support. It sounds like your daughter is on the right track. Once I started actively seeking help, it was a roller coaster ride for awhile, but having that awareness is so important in recovery. Be glad she tells you everything (even though I am fully aware that some of it is bizarre and frankly, grotesque;)). I'm sure there are times my mother wished I was less open, too.

I'm in my 30's now, and have been fine for awhile. I still overeat sometimes (I think I'll probably do that forever, along with 9 out of 10 other Americans), but I don't have that overwhelming need to get it out of me that I used to.

I'm betting that you guys will have a fantastic time on your cruise. Are you going with your whole family or just you and your daughter? I'm going with my mom in 45 days (yippeeeeee), and I just can't wait.

Oh, and as to having to deal with this as a lifelong issue, I didn't mean to scare you. It's always there, but it really does become bearable. It is not the forefront of my life anymore. It's not even in my daily consciousness anymore

Barbara:

Thanks for taking the time to respond again. I think the tone of your posts is very hopeful - and that's a great thing!

Yes, it is the whole family cruising together. That's me, my hubby, our daughter (17) and our son (16). We also have some extended family joining us - my brother, his wife and son, and my sister. We are all really looking forward to it. Thanks again, and if I come up with any specific questions regarding my daugher and our trip, I might just post again looking for you - if you don't mind.

I will keep an eye out on this thread, so if you need any other help that I'm able to give, I will be happy to!

It sounds like you guys are going to have a great time. I'm jealous that you can get your whole family together at once. I've cruised with my hubby, my mother, and my sister, but we can never seem to get more than 2 people together at any one time!!!!

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Bulimic, well you might want to give your room steward a heads up so he won't think that the infamous Norovirus is aboard and in one of his cabins. You might want to bring a heavy duty air freshner for use in the bathroom so the stench of upchuck doesn't overpower the entire room.

Anorexic, well you might want to let the wait staff know that you love the food, but just don't eat a lot. If you don't they will be bringing piles and piles of food for you to try.

wow...you're a horrible person.

Thank you for these posts and to the person that was rude - not nice. most of use secretly battle this for years without anyone knowing at all. i struggle with bulimia and have done is very secretly for over 20 years until i came out of the toliet so to speak. family had absolutely no idea. i didnt "look" like someone who suffered with an eating disorder. cruises are a land mine for us. big time. some how last year made it thru no slip ups. i ate what i wanted to try but in limited amounts. i didnt feel deprived so i think that helped. I also didnt gain weight when returned very surprising and actually insightful because the major fear for us is that if i eat over for several days and dont purge that I will gain a ton. i am going this year on a 10 day and bit more worried. my significant other isnt going and he helps me a lot and knows the look i get and what i need to do to talk to myself down. praying this goes well - i had success before and need to look at that not my failures of the past.

My sister has suffered with Bulimia for years. It was worst from the time of her very early teens to her mid twenties. It changed for her after her first pregnancy. She became interested in whole, natural foods and portion control. She is now almosy fifty, and has not b&p'd in over twenty years. She told me she does not consider herself cured of Bulimia, she feels it is more like being in a long remission. She is afraid if she starts eating processed food again it will lead to eating junk food, and being out of control.

I on the other hand am overweight, and the bane of my existence is portion control. I am diabetic, type 2, and I have to admit that is due to my past food choices. My problem is binge eating without purging. I am not trying to be funny by saying that, it is a problem that led to my obesity and diabetes. Now the wrong food choices literally pave the way to death for me. Thank goodness I love non-starchy vegetables lol :)

Luckily there is access to HAL's menus on on a couple of sites, so I can print them out and go over them with my nutritionist, and we can outline my eating plan for the week. Even if the menus aren't exactly what will be offered on our cruise, they still gives a general idea of what is offered and we can use that as a guide.

Lorie