smileygirl_68

Much meat based madness followed at Moderno. For the food-conscious I can confirm it all tasted fabulous. Pure meat on a stick, what's not to like?

We got chatting with our fellow travellers in the lounge and it was all very civilised, although there may have been a moment of outrageous flirting by Captain Gloves that could have been seen from space. Earlier in the day, Gloves had told us he wasn't very good at flirting, well I can assure you he was on top form. I like to think it was triggered by me indiscreetly passing him a smiley faced condom whilst mid chat that put a swagger in his step. I'd describe our group as a little bawdy this evening, we trotted off for cocktails in shakers and the giddy behaviour continued. In a twist of fate, I bumped into the object of Gloves flirtation whilst visiting the cigar lounge. That isn't the twist though, the twist is that I was telling her about the fake love note and showed her the picture. She burst out laughing and said that she was the actual occupant of 12539, the random cabin number made up by my mischievous companions. Small world or what!

We agreed to meet up in the studio lounge before dinner at Moderno. It was my turn to provide props this evening. The inflatable items had been sent to me for onward distribution by a member of the gang who couldn't make this trip, but who is here in spirit and much missed.

Devo'd. Devastated. Distraught beyond belief. The note was fake news, emperor Donald McRonald could not have covfefe'd it better. Inflatable pineapple girl has pranked me and I've realised I'm hideously unlovable, ghastly and unpleasant in equal parts. As if I would get a genuine love interest inserted through my door gap, who was I trying to kid? I discovered that it wasn't just Inflatable pineapple girl's doing, Cap'n Jack and Captain Gloves (you'll need to revisit the fancy dress picture to spot him) were all in on this jolly jape. I decided the only way to get through this moment of rejection was to drown my sorrows in litres of prosecco. This helped me to quickly forgive my rogue soloista friends and normal service was resumed. A delightful afternoon of hot tubs, water slides and fizz followed, no major incidents to report. I did meet Modesto Montenegro and that is his real name, not one of my gifted names. It is officially the best name ever, fact. I was also reunited with my glamingo merchandise thanks to Cap'n Jack's kind intervention.

Whilst I wait for inflatable pineapple girl I have taken the opportunity to get some further nutrition in the shape of a Bloody Mary, with heavy foliage

Well it's another beautiful day in paradise. I've had confirmation that all glamingo items were safely retrieved by Cap'n Jack so all is well in that department. After my miserable attempt at late night eating I was looking forward to another breakfast of champions but it seems they're out of Frosties. Devastated doesn't come close to how I feel about that. So I had some other stuff, egg based, and that has set me up for a fine day onboard. We are in Naples today, some of the gang have gone off to Sorrento but I will be mostly lounging around and getting an update from inflatable pineapple girl about the note...I am very curious to find out the story behind it

Any sentence with the name "Karl" in it ;)

 

You wont roll the "R" - we Scots cannot say the name KARL in one syllable. :')

 

 

 

I will give it a whirl, I imagine it comes out a bit like 'Carol'

Miss you all but am there in spirit...and prosecco...and cafe patron [emoji8]

 

 

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We miss you too! Please can you get the medics ready for when I get home, liver transplant required xxx

I think it's from inflatable pineapple girl, guiding me towards some further mischief. I found it a little unsettling as it's written inside a dolphin on Splash academy paper but I'm willing to forgive her. I decided to get up and seek the legendary O'Sheehans wings seeing as my breakfast of champions was almost 24 hrs ago. For the food -conscious I can sum up my O'Sheehans late night wings experience in one picture. Not exactly the gourmet dining experience I was expecting.

I departed my hogged chair after a fabulous bout of social intercourse with a beautiful lady called Margy. I think she is my sister from a different mister. Apparently I have a purple aura and I'm very happy with that. Armed with a treble treble treble vodka and orange courtesy of Marcel Marseille ( that was his gifted name, courtesy of myself....and reminds me to tell you that there's another theme, which is name gifting...one person has been gifted a trio of names in honour of his creepy ways. Clog, Stormin Norman Bates and another one that has mild profanity and can't be included here) I marched off to spice to catch up with inflatable pineapple girl. But nothing is ever that simple. I re-met Nicole (first meeting was last night, lots of stupid behaviour, no name gifted because I liked her), who told me she was 'on the struggle bus' which made me double giggle and Derren who is just a massive lunatic and therefore gets my vote. He almost lost my vote after announcing 'no, I'm ok thanks' when offered a drink. I soon corrected his embarrassing faux pas and imbibing continued. Inflatable pineapple girl presented us with some biscuits that truly looked like giant iced nipples. I believe some posed photos may have been taken but I've checked my phone and I don't have them. If anyone wants to see them let me know and I'll hunt them down. At some point I decided that an afternoon nap was required. By this time Cap'n Jack had arrived so I vaguely waved in the direction of my hogged chair on the secret sundeck and asked if he'd gather my glamingo merchandise as I couldn't possibly go all that way up there to get it myself. Maybe he said yes, I don't know but the bottom line is it's now 3am, I don't remember 'being banged', I don't have my glamingo merchandise and I've just woken up to find the attached note under my door.

Well. If I could sum up the rest of the day in a single photo here it is....

Whilst catching up with Cap'n Jack (see previous fancy dress pic) this morning, I came up with a game for later tonight. The cruisaversy soloistas are all Scottish, I'm the token Englander (and have been subjected to outrageous racism from the jocks!) so we will be playing 'spot the scot'. This will involve all of us saying the same sentence to random strangers and seeing if they can 'spot the scot'. Since 80% of us are Scottish, I'm hoping my special jocktastic accent will fool the passers by and I will win. Recommendations for the sentence are welcomed...feel free to use your childish imaginations as you see fit

So here I am, only slightly burnt to a crisp after doing the British thing of sitting in the sun drinking for hours without sunscreen yesterday and saying, I'll be ok, it's not that hot. . A very nice waiter man has just strolled by and casually asked if I'd 'like something to drink'. Well, the chocolate milk hasn't really quenched my thirst so in a bid to make him feel useful I placed my order. Vodka and orange...it's delicious, nutritious and ticks all the start your day the healthy way boxes.

For the food-conscious amongst you, Frosties with chocolate milk is the official breakfast of champions, fact.

I awoke refreshed and raring to go (lie) and headed off to the gym to workout the previous day's badness (lie). What I actually did was douse myself in all things flamingo...ooh, I've just had a thought, I'm going to rename it 'glam-ingo', because it so is! So suitably 'glamingo-ed ' I swanked off to the buffet after a minor detour to the secret sun deck to hog chairs and mark my territory.

There's a thread on here about how difficult some people find getting drunk onboard. I can heartily recommend the double treble treble vodka with a droplet of cranberry

After approximately (finger in the air, straw man, starter for ten) 3 million glasses of prosecco I decided that I ought to attend muster to ensure I'm fully prepped for any major incidents and am clear about my role in such matters. Even the hilarious anecdotes from Pedro the CD couldn't hold my attention, and a little disco nap was undertaken. The lure of further sleeping couldn't be ignored, and a power hour of sleep was scheduled. Despite being 100% positive that I'd set an alarm for 6pm, it appears there was a malfunction, system error, not my fault. Therefore at 7pm I had the shameful privilege of 'being banged' ..that's a load of idiots clammering against my front door demanding I get immediately awake and me lurching towards said door swathed only in a beach towel. Cheeks were seen, but will never be discussed. In record time I was washed dressed and drinking fizz in the now mostly deserted studio lounge. The magnificent even more flamingo bearing princess you met earlier (the one with the inflatable pineapple drink holder) decided that this evening we would all be wearing fancy dress, of her impeccable choosing. I don't know what my American cousins call fancy dress, maybe 'dress up' ? Our refined and glamorous status brought us barely any attention so tomorrow we will be mostly keeping ourselves to ourselves, being quiet and demure.This evening , tardy Amanda made it to Manhatten with the glamorous cruiseaversary boys and gals. Caesar salad (no anchovies, name ONE person who likes a hairy fish) was belatedly followed by salty spaghetti bolognese. Not content with that, Dr Oregano was in da house....bleurgh. I'm a fan of social herbs (with a H) but my goodness he was every which way and I did not like it. So, I tried cherries jubilee to take the rancid taste of Dr O away. It did not work and I did not like it (theme...OMG are my themes a theme? I hate myself)

 

The remainder of the evening is awash with casino losses, demanding 'kum by ah' in Howl at the Moon, larking about with strangers in assorted venues and then staggering off to bed at a shamefully early hour, reminiscing about the 'nearly fell over at the life boat drill' incident and continuing to be mindful that last years 'security Dave insists on speaking to you, Amanda' should never, could never, MUST never be repeated.

Ooh I had a nightmare with them in Majorca. I complained and they did refund. Used suntransfers twice and they were great (for future reference!)

 

 

 

Sounds like you're hoping for a new theme!

more flamingos courtesy of this fabulous princess

Flamingoing crazy!

Great start to your review- very funny! Look forward to more. Who was your transfer company? We used Sun Transfers from Barcelona and they were great!

 

 

 

It was resort hoppa. I will be writing a very stern letter when I get home (if I can be bothered!)