Due North

[The_Penguins'_Collective]

As promised, we, The Penguins' Collective, have decided to share with you humans the photographs of our delegation, going on a mission to meet our brethen in the Secret Northern Colony (and having a bit of fun on the best liner in the world, in the meanwhile).

 

You may have seen some of the pictures already; we, The Penguins' Collective, will re-print them all, for those amongst you who missed them...

 

:cool:

 

[to be continued...]

[The_Penguins'_Collective]

Of course, our mission appeared, at a first glance, hopeless.

 

We, The Penguins' Collective, could almost hear you humans (not by choice, we, The Penguins' Collective must say!), whining: "Who has ever heard of penguins in the Northern Hemisphere??"

 

Of course, this is what we, The Penguins' Collective, want you humans to believe.

 

In our search for our Northern Brethren we, The Penguins' Collective, were prepared to explore for as long as it would take us, if necessary going to Hell and back again... literally as the pictures will show!

 

:cool:

[garigoun]

As promised' date=' we, The Penguins' Collective, have decided to share with you humans the photographs of our delegation, going on a mission to meet our brethen in the Secret Northern Colony (and having a bit of fun on the best liner in the world, in the meanwhile).

 

You may have seen some of the pictures already; we, The Penguins' Collective, will re-print them all, for those amongst you who missed them...

 

:cool:

 

 

[right'][to be continued...][/right]

 

Tell me it aint so lord, tell me it aint so!!!

[nitwit]

Of course' date=' our mission appeared, at a first glance, hopeless.

 

We, The Penguins' Collective, could almost hear you humans (not by choice, we, The Penguins' Collective must say!), whining: "[i']Who has ever heard of penguins in the Northern Hemisphere??[/i]"

 

Of course, this is what we, The Penguins' Collective, want you humans to believe.

 

In our search for our Northern Brethren we, The Penguins' Collective, were prepared to explore for as long as it would take us, if necessary going to Hell and back again... literally as the pictures will show!

 

:cool:

 

Why do you fall on your backs when a plane goes over? That's just stupid.

[Crowsnesters]

Thank you penguins' collective for the pictures, and information. Keep it up :D .

[The_Penguins'_Collective]

Finally, success!

 

On the Lofoten Islands, we, The Penguins' Collective, through the leader of our delegation, finally established a contact with our Northern Colony.

 

The occasion demanded a proper celebration!

 

:cool:

 

 

[to be continued...]

[garigoun]

Ppp pickup a ppp perishing ppp penguin and ppp pitch it ppp precipitously and

ppp pitilessly out the ppp porthole ppp pronto.

(With apologies to Cadbury or Nestles or whoever it was.).

Something should be done. The protocols at secure establishments need overhauling drastically. We don't who is walking amongst us. The public have a right to cruise safely without being accosted by soft toys. It's a disgrace. The government should act.

P.A.S.T.A.S.I.G.A. P.O.

(The Penguin and Soft Toys At Sea in General Abolition and Persecution Organisation.)

 

Signed for and on behalf of our Glorious Leader

Gari

[The_Penguins'_Collective]

On our way back to the QE2, we, The Penguins' Collective, were contacted by a prospective candidate who wished to join us.

 

Although the fact that he was a bird played in his favour, we, The Penguins' Collective, had to explain to him, with regret, that only Penguins could join!...

 

:cool:

[The_Penguins'_Collective]

After the eventful day, it was back to planning for the next day, and discussing matters of... er... outmost importance (talking about babes and chicks), which took us to the QE2 computer suite and for which we, The Penguins' Collective, took advantage of the free hours granted to us by Cunard (just ask for the as part of the Penguin Privilege Package, provided you belong to the Spheniscidae genus, Cunard will be more than happy to comply...)

 

To show our gratitde, we, The Penguins' Collective, agreed to do some lectures to enlighten the humans (provided such a thing is actually possible...)

 

:cool:

[The_Penguins'_Collective]

The evening continued with some music (we, The Penguins' Collective, appreciate fine art) and then it was the moment came for the Head of the Delegation to meet the Supreme Commander of the Secret Northern Colony, His Superior Coolness Crystal Penguin IV ("Chris" for friends).

 

The occasion was an historical one, so the good chefs and staff of the QE2 prepared some appropriate food, and made it clear that it was for display only (only a barbarian would eat a penguin after all... or would put pineapple on a pizza, but that is another story).

 

We, The Penguins' Collective, were favourably impressed.

 

The following day, the mission continued, to seek new penguins colonies, to encounter new penguins species, to boldly go where no penguin has gone before...

 

:cool:

[Toffeegirl68]

Another flightless bird - but this one is flying solo.....

 

J

[The_Penguins'_Collective]

Ahhh... we, The Penguins' Collective, are always happy to consider new members, but an essential requisite is being a penguin...

 

Although other birds can join our associate programme, the Penguins' United Fearless Fans International Non Spheniscidae ("Puffins" in short)

 

:cool:

[garigoun]

Now if only we could think of some way of transfering Ursus Matitimus to the Antarctic that would rid us once and for all of those pesky penguins.

Ideas anyone?

[NomDePlume]

Something like this?

[garigoun]

Something like this?

 

no need for anything quite so grand N.d.P. About a couple of dozen Ursuses Maritimuses would soon clear the Antarctic of Penguins. Working on the principle of about 10 penguins = 1 seal and 100= 1 walrus then a couple of seasons should see the antarctic as a penguin free zone. Now making Cunard penguin free may take a little longer because they would probably form an alliance with the other soft toys.

[/color]

 

You see! Cunard actively encourage the Soft Toy Fetishists. Believe it or not, the Giraffes actually sing. The inventors will of course burn in hell for all eternity.

Gari.

[The_Penguins'_Collective]

We, The Penguins' Collective, may be flightless birds (or so we, The Penguins' Collective, would have you believe...) but are still capable to fly high above the feeble attempts to sarcasm from a few poor, preposterous, pathetic primates... :rolleyes:

 

We, The Penguins' Collective, must confess to being puzzled by such acrimonious attacks and we, The Penguins' Collective, may only think that is due to envy, since the males of our species mate once a year, which is way, way above what the average male of the motley crew known as homo sapiens manages to accomplish during his life...

 

Still, to show that we, The Penguins' Collective, bear no grudges, even to hairless chimps, here is some penguin art in its purest form.

 

We, The Penguins' Collective, have carefully selected something that is at the IQ level of you humans, but some of you may still find it intellectually challenging.

 

Enjoy!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IP-F6E8MbDs&feature=related

 

:cool:

[The_Penguins'_Collective]

Moving swiftly forward, our mission continued, and in the absence of snow cats, we, The Penguins' Collective, relied on the assistance of those of the barking orientation, to move swiftly across the frozen wastes.

 

After reaching the Northern Colony Headquarters, we, The Penguins' Collective, had an encounter with some white fluffy big animal, albeit a bit ursine, who, however, decided to depart after it understood who was in charge.

 

Finally, we, The Penguins' Collective, came across other members of the Secret Northern Colony.

 

Of course a celebration followed, but we, The Penguins' Collective, have sold the exclusive rights to the photographs of the party to the National Geographic and to Entertainment Today!

 

:cool:

[garigoun]

Roll on global warming!

Gari

[Cruachan]

You see! Cunard actively encourage the Soft Toy Fetishists.

 

Oi Goun!

 

get off the soft toys' case, or I'll send the girls round to rearrange your kneecaps. You can see from my photo that I'm a violent looking piece of goods, an' me mates are well 'ard.

 

Affectionately,

 

Vicky

 

 

[The_Penguins'_Collective]

Ahhh not to worry.

 

We, The Penguins' Collective, are more than equipped to deal with these funny hairless primates!

 

In any case, we, The Penguins' Collective, happily can say how every year there is an entire month between Winter and Spring dedicated to us.

 

Indeed the humans call it "The March of the Penguins"!!!

 

:p

[Cruachan]

In any case' date=' we, The Penguins' Collective, happily can say how every year there is an entire month between Winter and Spring dedicated to us.[/quote']

 

I hate to initiate any inter-species rivalry here but, really, only one month.

 

We bears have four (Septembear, Octobear, Novembear, and Decembear).

 

Vicky

[The_Penguins'_Collective]

I hate to initiate any inter-species rivalry here but, really, only one month.

 

We bears have four (Septembear, Octobear, Novembear, and Decembear).

 

Vicky

 

Maybe so, but we, The Penguins' Collective, have also some areas of land named after us. Ever heard of "The Marsh of the Penguins"?

 

:p