An interesting review by a first time cruiser.

Take a look at this review -

Since this was my first cruise, our commentary addresses my observations without comparison to other cruise lines.

We arrived at Miami Airport at 11:15 AM and had our luggage in hand by 12:05. The flight was uneventful.

Once we had our luggage we had to locate a cruise transfer rep. I left my girl friend with our luggage and ventured on a journey. Finally, locating someone from another cruise line who informed me that our rep was in the opposite direction. What must have happened was we must have arrived at the point where the cruise rep was stationed before she got there and passed it up on our way to retrieve our baggage. No big deal except we just missed the bus and now had to wait another ½ hour for the next one.

The check-in at the pier went very smoothly. And, we were enjoying a very nice buffet lunch on the ship by 1:30.

The room was small, as expected, and the bathroom was, let us say tiny. However, everything proved sufficient and functional. There was ample storage space. Here we met our room attendant, Tina. She was very nice. (She also kept the room very clean during our stay. Since both my girl friend still live at home, it was like having your mother cleaning your room without all the nagging.)

There was one major complaint about the boarding process. We were on board before 1:30 but our luggage didn’t reach our room until 4:35. That was over three hours later. Also, there was that silly muster drill which was both boring and uncomfortable. The crew made a big fuss when they found us hiding in our room trying to avoid the drill. If the ship went down, I ‘m sure the organization of the evacuation would be much more hectic. I know I’d go into the first open lifeboat I came across - everyone would have to fend for themselves.

Dining Room:

We were on a large table with a mixed age group. One couple was very old – maybe 60 or 65, two middle age couples about 35-40, and us. They were very interesting and informative. For example – on the second evening we told them that we had single beds and we saw some rooms had a double. We would have preferred a double. They told us to tell our room attendant.

The next morning I spoke to Tina about it. And, low and behold when we arrived back at the ship that afternoon, we had a double. I still wonder where store the extra beds and were able to move the bed into our room so quickly.

The food was very good and a great selection. Since my girl friend and I still live at home with our respective parents, we rarely go out eat. This was a nice treat.

We ate at Chops on the last night. This was really good. Since we weren’t in the main dinning room on the last night, we didn’t have to tip the dinning wait staff. (We could stiff them. After all we’ll never see them again.) The tips we saved more than covered the additional cost at Chops. We actually saved money.

The Windjammer:

The buffet breakfasts and lunches had a fine selection and you could eat all that you wanted. At one lunch I went back six times. Unfortunately, I could not finish most of the last dish and had to leave it. Some crabby old woman scolded me for not finishing my plate. I guess she felt stupid about what she said when I told her this was my sixth dish and I did not want to stuff myself like a pig. Well, anyway, I guest the staff must eat the leftovers so it won’t go to waste.

Our Room:

The walls in your room are not sound proof. The couple in the adjourning room was very sexually active. They provided some get entertainment all through the night (Over and over again). You could hear EVERYTHING if you put a glass up to the wall. They were quite vocal in their instructions regarding positions and techniques. We learn some very interesting things.

The balcony was a very nice feature. Except you should understand the lack of privacy. I was able to lend over the railing and see the balcony below. This woman would be sunbathing in the nude every time I checked. And, I checked often. She was worth the look.

Other than cruise costs:

The visits to the islands were very good but all the tours turned out to add a lot to our bill. That along with the bar bill (my girl friend never drank before and she picked up the art very fast) and with our losses at the casino they ended up costing us about the same as the cruise and airfare. You tend to forget how much you are spending when you use the ship card. (I know my Dad is going to be ticked off but I’ll try to work some overtime at the gas station where I work to pay him back for the credit card bill. If not, I can always count on Mom to cover for me.)

As I mention earlier, I think Tina was a great room attendant. She did a better job than my mother in keeping my room clean. We could leave our stuff all over the room and there were no complaints. My girl friend also thought Tina did such a super job and with the money we saved on not having to tip the dinning staff, we each left a twenty-dollar tip. That was forty dollars for the week - Not bad!

Getting off the ship:

The last day was a big hassle. Because my girl friend packed our passports in our luggage, we couldn’t get right off the ship. There was a big hassle with immigration. We had to wait until all the other passengers from our ship retrieved their luggage before they sent someone to get ours. We ended up missing our flight and ended up taking a one-stop flight with a lay over. The normal 3-hour flight took over 7 hours. The immigration people are so anal. Just because we didn’t have our passports they made a big deal of the whole thing. We told them that we were U.S. citizens but they wouldn’t believe us. That’s what is wrong with government workers. They have no trust.

Even with the mix up at the end I will definitely cruise again. However, I will have to be without this girl friend. We had a big fight over the packing of the passports. Finally, she said that she wanted to find another boyfriend who was more understanding of mistakes and who had had the talent of the guy from the adjourning room on the ship. Besides, her parents got very angry when they found out that she was with me. They were under the mistaken impression that she was going to be with one of her girl friends. I don’t understand the big deal. She had just turned 18 and I’m 28. We’re both old enough to make our own decisions. I thought this was a great high-school graduation present for her. You never know how uptight some parents will be. Anyway I met this other girl who will be graduating high school in three years. I think we will try cruising again when she is graduated.

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This is a fictional review for your amusement. I hope and trust it did not tick you off. This was just for fun.

Ya' had me...

Allthough I was wondering what planet ya' came from... Then I was like...

Ohhhh... and you were getting the laugh just KNOWING we were fallin' for it!

I'm not going to lie, I thought..."Why doesn't this man pick up after himself? "Tina did a better job than my mother"...I had to laugh, then the comment about the couple next door and the nude sunbather..I said this guy is nuts..

It was funny..:D

By the second paragraph, I thought, This can't be for real. By the 4th, I was beginning to lose my faith in humanity. By the 5th, "How immature, how rude!" Then I thought, well maybe this is supposed to be a lesson on "What not to do on a cruise". I was sure hoping it would turn out to be a spoof. Ah, what a relief!

and I just LMAO. Now, what I'm curious about is your handle. Only Twice-A-Year?

I am so glad that this was made up.This could have ended up being the flame thread of all theards.

By the second paragraph, I thought, This can't be for real. By the 4th, I was beginning to lose my faith in humanity. By the 5th, "How immature, how rude!" Then I thought, well maybe this is supposed to be a lesson on "What not to do on a cruise". I was sure hoping it would turn out to be a spoof. Ah, what a relief!

I had the same reaction. I thought "Well I certainly now know not to do that on our cruise."

It was very funny. TY!:D