Part XLIV - Installment Travelogue: Mille 2/22/04, Cruising With Teens - The Olympic

This is part 44 of a continuing travelogue covering the cruise adventures of the 'X family'. Please see the Master Table of Contents for links to anything you've missed.

Be aware that part 43 was posted fewer than 24 hours before this one, so don't get ahead of yourself...

Part 44 - Dining in The Olympic

Apparently it is going to be a while before we eat, so perhaps an overview of the Olympic dining facility and its operating philosophy will help pass the time…

Several pictures of the interior were included in chapter 37, so I won’t repeat them here (see http://www.chesterh.com/chapters/37.htm).

As for the dining experience, here are some quotes from the menu:

I have scanned the Olympic menu and converted it into a file suitable for printing (Click here for the menu, a 343KB PDF file). A previously posted picture of a page from the wine list does warrant a repost – click the thumbnail for a larger version.

Meanwhile, back on the cruise…

At long last, a young woman pushed a cart up to the side of our table. In a thick French accent, she announced that she would be making Danny’s Caesar Salad. We all paid rapt attention as she narrated every step in the process. It was a nice show, but between the sound of the violin/piano duo and the accent, I really couldn’t understand more than a few words. The “Frenchness” came through, so I guess that’s good enough.

While the woman was making the salad, Dan turned to me with a funny look on his face. I’d describe the expression as “a puzzled sneer”.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“She put egg in my salad,” answered Dan.

“Of course she did. It’s a Caesar Salad. It’s supposed to have egg in it.”

“Not the way I like it.”

“You mean to tell me that a guy who smothers his broccoli in yellow mustard is afraid of a little egg in a salad?”

“Oh, I guess it’s O.K.”

I refrained from mentioning that there were probably anchovies in the salad, too. No sense in tormenting the poor guy.

The woman made another dish, though I’m not sure which. She put it aside, next to the Caesar Salad, and then vanished. Time marched on.

We’d practically forgotten about the whole thing when suddenly a parade of plate-bearing waiters approached us. They flowed around the table, and in perfect synchrony deposited a plate in front of each of us -- they touched the table at precisely the same moment, and the servers’ hands withdrew with a practiced snap. Synchronized serving. Pretty cool…

Danny slowly picked at his salad, but didn’t really eat much of it. Kris had the Lobster Velouté, and being a “soup person”, seemed happy.

Wells watched me examining my appetizer. “I thought real men didn’t eat soufflés.”

“I think that’s quiche. Real men don’t eat quiche.”

Wells smirked, and I realized he was just being a wise guy. I wonder where he picked that up…

“What about you? Are quail eggs the newest craze?” I was actually impressed with his sense of adventure. But then again, teenaged boys tend to eat like dogs –- food doesn’t stay in their mouths long enough to be tasted. The act of eating is more inhalation than mastication…

My Goat Cheese Soufflé was tasty. I cannot tell you if it was superior to other Goat Cheese Soufflés, nor can I assure you that it wasn’t distinctly inferior. If I ever have it again, I’ll have a basis for comparison. I finished it without hesitation or regret.

Our plates were cleared promptly, but another slack period ensued. I asked the waiter to direct the sommelier our way.

“What should we get? Red or white?” I asked.

“Better get both,” said Kris. I could see the boys perk up.

Continued, next post...

Continued from previous post

Time started to lose all meaning. Later that evening, the young woman with the accent returned with her cart. A young gentleman, also pushing a cart, followed her. We were treated to another culinary show, this time for our entrees. There was a fair amount of drama in this segment of the program – lots of loud sizzling and flame.

I recognized my dish, which was constructed with great care and artistry. Wells’s Saltimbocca was fairly obvious, as was Dan’s Risotto. Kris had the Rack of Lamb, which must have been prepared in the galley.

Again, the plates were delivered with military precision. This time they were covered by silver lids, which were lifted in unison to reveal a handsome array of meals.

“Voila! Bon Appetite,” said the lead waiter, turning to leave. I snagged him before he got away.

“Please, I would like to order some wine to go with our dinner.”

“But of course, monsieur. Right away.” He marched off with purpose, mumbling to himself. It sounded like “Où est le clown dans le veston rouge? Cet idiot est prêt à dépenser de grand argent pour quelque jus de raisin.” [Roughly translated: “Where is the clown in the red jacket? This fool is ready to pay big bucks for some grape juice.”]

Kris tasted her lamb, and made a sound more appropriate for the bedroom than a public place. “Oooo, ahhhh, mmmmmm, that’s really good. Are we getting wine? How can we eat a fantastic meal like this without wine?”

“I’m working on it,” I replied. The recommended wine for Kris’s entrée was listed at $91 for a glass, $356 for a bottle. I was desperate enough that I might have gone for it, if only given the chance.

My food looked so nice that it was a shame to disturb it. I took a picture to diminish my guilt, and dove in. I wish I could do vegetables like this – little baby veggies that don’t even look like they’ve been cooked, but are tender as butter. The fillet was perfect, and I did not long for the Steak Diane.

Wells, predictably, finished long before anyone else. Dan took his time.

“I didn’t know risotto had rice in it,” said Dan.

“This meal is a real learning experience for you, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess so. I like it.”

Wells waited patiently for the rest of us to finish.

“What’s your rush?” I asked.

“I want dessert,” he replied.

The table was cleared, and we all waited for the next act. It came in the form of a large multi-tiered cart, steered carefully through the maze of tables by a pair of waiters.

The cart was laden with cheeses – several dozen varieties by the looks. Our waiter began a rapid-fire description of all of them, categorized by general characteristics. Then it was our turn to choose.

Nobody was quite sure what to do. How many should one specify? What were the criteria for choosing?

Wells and Dan went first. I couldn’t hear the transactions, but both boys received a plate with three little hunks of cheese.

I took my turn, selecting by sight alone since I couldn’t remember a single thing from the waiter’s overview. I stopped at three varieties, based on the boys’ example. They were way ahead of me in cheese sophistication. Kris selected two cheeses, also at random.

When the cheese wagon departed we all looked at each other, wondering what to do next.

“I guess we’re supposed to eat it,” I said, taking a position with little risk of controversy.

Everyone took a sample from their plate.

“Needs wine,” Kris remarked.

“Forget it. It’s not happening.” I was not pleased that the sommelier had never revisited our table. I don’t often get upset, but I was close now. “That’s really unbelievable. You’d think that wine would be a top priority here.”

Dan chimed in, probably trying to calm me down. “That’s all right. If we had wine, we’d probably all be asleep by now.”

Continued, next post...

Continued from previous post

Each of my cheese samples tasted like the others. Different textures, same flavor.

“These all taste the same,” said Kris. “I don’t think I get the ‘cheese thing’.”

“Shhhh! We’re out of our league here, but don’t let everyone around us know.” I popped a grape into my mouth and held it there. Maybe if I kept it there until dessert, it would ferment into something interesting.

Dessert brought more entertainment. Dan ordered Crepes Suzette, and the tableside preparation was spectacular. He didn’t seem to mind the inclusion of eggs in this dish, though I think it was a little too authentic for him. He was expecting something more like a Hostess Twinkie.

Wells and I both opted for ‘Michel Roux’s Favorite Bite Size Surprise Desserts’, which turned out to be a sampler of five different exotic goodies. Very good, indeed.

Kris went for the Chocolate Soufflé. Combined with coffee, it sent her into orbit around some other planet. The effect was short-lived, however, and soon she was advocating sleep.

By the time we finished it was after 10:30, more than three hours since we arrived. Time had clearly caught up with Wells and Dan. I thought I might have to carry them upstairs to bed and tuck them in, as I’d done more than once many years ago.

We shuffled away from the table toward the exit. Near the door stood the sommelier. He smiled. “Bon soir, monsieur et madam.”

“Notre plaisir pas pour vous rencontrer,” the voice in my head said in response. “Nice not meeting you.” High school French didn’t allow me to make a more succinct statement.

In the elevator, Wells asked a question. “Have you checked your account on the TV thingy?”

“No, I haven’t looked at it recently,” I responded.

“How much do you think it is?”

I thought for a moment, estimating the various bar bills and wine charges. Maybe tonight’s experience was for the better. I gave him a figure.

Wells looked thoughtful and nodded.

“Why do you ask?”

“Oh, just wondering,” he answered. He shot a quick look at Dan, who cast his eyes toward the floor.

We parted ways at the deck eight elevator lobby.

“I’ve gotta go to bed,” said Dan. “I don’t know about you.”

“Me too,” said Wells. They quickly disappeared around the corner.

“Sounds like a plan to me.” I was talking to myself, as Kris was already halfway to the cabin. On the way in, I rang the doorbell –- like a new envelope, it was a special treat for me.

By the time I extracted myself from the tux, Kris was sound asleep. I put a ‘space music’ CD in the player, and turned it up loud enough to cover the moaning and hacking sounds of our neighbor. It had actually been a fine evening, despite the wine issue. It would have been even better if we hadn’t all been exhausted from the long day. Better still if we had arranged to dine with our regular tablemates, whose company we really missed.

I ate both chocolates and sank into the bed. The music and the gentle motion of the ship made me feel like I was floating. Visions of stainless steel filled my head before everything faded to black…

Next: Galley Duty

ChesterH,

The chapters are coming so fast! Now I really can't wait for the next one. I'm dieing to know about the money thing...

Beth

We've missed you and your wonderful stories! Thank you.

Beth -- I got on a roll, kind of like the good old days. It felt good (except for my back and wrist). Must have faked out most people though, because not many seem to have picked up on the second chapter. I’ll have to slow down again…

Tinderr, I’ve missed being here. Save my place – I’ll be back.

All the best,

chesterh

thanks chester,I have missed your wonderful stories

Back from almost the beginning, I used to love getting online Sunday nights and reading Chester's latest post. Then it got to be I'd be grateful for whatever I could get, whenever I got it. Boy, did this weekend bring back some great memories of reading wonderful stories. I'm glad you've missed being here..we've missed having you here. I miss the good old days. Don't you even think of slowing down.

Nancy

Thanks, Jane.

Thanks for the sentiments, Nancy -- you made me blush. Did you ever get broadband? I 'feel' an Olympic video coming on. Last I knew it took all night for you to download one of the other videos...

All the best,

chesterh

Those days are over too. Bring on the video.

Nancy

Great – I love a challenge…

chesterh

I love a challenge too. I also love the read the end of the story. Just had to add that so you don't forget. All kidding aside, I can't wait to see the video. I love the Laughing Fit. Do you still hear from Alan?

chesterh:

Thank goodness you're back! I really missed reading your serial. Of course, now I'm back into the mode of waiting with baited breath for the next one. Perils of Pauline had nothing on you! Like others, I,too, can't wait to read what the deal is with the 'money' thing. As for the Olympic, I really appreciate your honesty about the time trials. Was there never an apology, or explanation of why you were ignored by the sommelier? Looking forward to more reading, Terry:)

Nancy -- We have lost touch with Alan and Jodie. They sent an email with a new address shortly before the Great Computer Crash of 2003, in which I lost the new information. I'll track them down someday, somehow. I still can't keep a straight face watching that video (RealVideo format only).

Terry - No, there was never an explanation from the staff, but the story of (no) wine in the Olympic is not over -- as we wil see. Thanks for the encouragement.

Wells heads off to college this weekend, so we have a bit of work to do -- meaning we have to cajole him into packing.

All the best,

chesterh

Hi Chester---So glad to read the recent installment of the cruise. Looking forward to the next one.

We are leaving on the 18th on the Jewel of the Seas out of Boston for a 10 day to Quebec and back. Hope the weather is good. Then for our annual April get-a-way-from-mud-season cruise, we are going on the Norwegian Sun on a 17 day repo cruise from Miami to LA. through the Panama Canal. Really looking forward to that one. Packing for that one will be a challenge to say the least. This is what you do when you are retired with all the time to travel.

Blindone - WOW, 27 days on cruiseships! I say, bring on retirement! How can you bear to miss another mud season? I'm sticking around for the next one...

I'm interested to hear about the New England-Quebec trip in particular. I think it would be an interesting change of perspective. Have a great trip.

chesterh

Hi there!

Loving your travelogues! they're absolutely funtastic to read. I was curious on what your teens thought of the cruise and the facilities/activities they offerred.

I am fourteen and my dad and i are currently booked in a celebrity suite also! 8104 on the constellation and are very much looking forward to it. thank you for the great information. Best wishes,

Diahndra

I'm so glad you're back. You've been missed.

"Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yoiurself, in your way of thinking."

-Marcus Aurelius Antonius

Diahndra – I am so glad you are enjoying the tales. Writing them has truly been a highlight of a lifetime, close behind the cruises. The boys had a fantastic time. I must note, however, that they qualified as “entry-level adults”. At age 18, they pretty much eschewed the organized activities in favor of a free-form experience. I’m sure they’d agree with me that it is difficult to imagine having anything less than a blast on board a ship. As you seem to know from past experience, meeting and making friends is the most important ingredient to having a good time, and the atmosphere aboard Constellation will provide a great setting. The Celebrity Suite is sweet – you’ll love it. Have a great time, and please report back…

QC – Thanks. We’re off to Cape Cod for the long weekend, and I am taking the laptop in hope of doing some writing on the beach. ‘See’ you soon…

All the best,

chesterh

Hi ChesterH

thanks for the quick reply, hope u will enjoy the weekend at cape cod. thank you for the perspectives on the everything about the constellation! i'm sure it will be fun and i will report back...in five more months!!! ah, the wwait is killing me! anyway, thanks again!

-Diahndra

Chester it is sooo good to 'see' you and your wonderful stories again. I've been off the board for a few months, and decided to check back in today (since Jim and I just scheduled another cruise!) and lo and behold you've posted more chapters. What a treat.

I hope you, Kris and the rest of the family are all well and happy. Isn't it about time for another trip? <g>

We were going to go to the Caribbean in January but work interfered, so we've now booked a 14 day Panama Canal cruise for Thanksgiving 2005. It ought to be fun (even though it's a long time coming...). Ah, the call of the sea...!

abby

Dear 'Abby',

All is well. School has begun for everyone but me, but somehow I have just as much 'homework' as the rest of the gang.

Kris has fixated on the Galapagos as a cruise destination. I pointed out that we have almost as diverse an animal population living in our own house. That only got me 'the look'.

Too bad about the January trip, but the 14-day sounds like it compensates at least somewhat. See you soon...

All the best,

chesterh

Dear Chesterh:

When I saw that you posted, I was so hoping that you'd tell us you booked your next cruise. Sounds like you are in the discussing phases - how long does that stage last in your household?

Please tell me if I plan for too long? In my house the planning stage can go on for several months. I won't know until January when I can take time off next year. So until then, I continue to plan and search and make a final decision and then start the process all over again -- I can tell DH 100 different times that I've decided on the ship, itinerary, cabin, etc. then change my mind again. Every time I report to him that I've made a final decision and now we just have to wait until Jan to book it, he then looks at me with a blank stare and says, "That's nice dear, let me know what you decide next week!" He doesn't take the time and find out all the details. Can you tell me why? Is he just completely insensitive to my needs? He tells me I should forget about this until it's time to book the trip. He says that I'm obsessed -- do you think I am? Do I need to attend Cruisers Anonymous? Thank you, and I look forward to you printing your response in your next column.

ElaineB

Chronic Planner

Couldn't resist the above post -- when I saw your reply to "Dear Abby" (I know it was a response to abbymac) it made me think that you need to start a "Dear Chesterh" column. Just trying to think of ways that your readers can get more of your wit and humor without waiting until your next cruise.:)

Had to explain for fear someone would really take my post serious! ;)

Dear Chronic Planner,

I see nothing wrong with your approach. Anticipation of a cruise can be almost as exciting and rewarding as the actual event – even more so in some cases. In fact, studies have shown that the ratio between planning and cruising is directly proportional to the level of overall satisfaction. If you spend a year planning a one-week cruise, you derive at least 52 times as much pleasure from your technique vs. someone who purchases a cruise spur-of-the-moment a week before departure.

Perhaps you are feeling guilty about all of the enjoyment you derive from planning. Fantasy is a huge component of your seemingly obsessive behavior, but as enlightened people, we have learned that fantasy is a healthy pastime. No doubt you experience all sorts of interesting travels in vivid detail, all from the comfort of your own computer. If your DH is unable to share in the experience, you should in no way feel restricted – it is his loss. Why is he this way? Some things simply cannot be explained. You might be able to convince yourself to be grateful that he is at least passively supportive, but whatever you do, don’t wallow in pity.

There are various support groups for those whose cruise fantasies impair their ability to lead a normal life, but from all indications you have matters firmly in hand. So, don’t worry. Be happy…

chesterh

p.s. In my house, the planning stage for the first cruise lasted about 25 years. Since then, we have been continually planning the next one. With two boys in college and a new roof coming next week, I think the current planning phase will last several years. When we finally do board a ship again, it will be like we never left…