Jilted honeymoon help!

[nimbex1970]

Consider it a gift, EASY for me to say.... and they blew it on something stupid that you wouldn't have purchased..... (a week with the new inlaws).

 

I think you have more worries down the road to be focusing on this now. There is a much bigger picture here because people don't automatically mature once married, this might save you $$ from bailing them out later, with a good warning now.

 

As a parent of an engaged 19 yr. old, I KNOW!!!!!, if only THEY did:D

[hawt1]

I am a shareholder of RCL as are many others on here. While I feel sorry for you that your son and DIL wasted your gift, I certainly hope that my company does not see fit to issue any type of refund in this case.

 

There are many here who have had to fight for refunds for much more deserving reasons.

 

Sorry to sound a bit cold on this but why should RCL issue a refund or any type of credit because two people chose on their own to not show up for their cruise?

[DCPIV]

I am with those that say a gift is a gift and that you should not ask for the money back. It was a gift, not a loan with strings, and the fact that you are disappointed in how they used your gift does not change that.

 

However, you certainly do not have to give them anything else. If it were my son, I would have a very frank discussion with him and let him know just how disappointed I was in how he could not keep up with all those items and how he and his wife missed the cruise and wasted your gift. I would let him know that, while was their cruise to waste, you are not willing to give them anything more than a token gift until you believe that they are responsible enough to deal with it.

 

Whether they like it or not and whether they are prepared for it or not, they have reached out and seized "adult" status. Now, whether they like it or not and whether they are prepared for it or not, they must accept the responsibility that comes with that status.

 

 

D

[mohavemommy]

I'm trying to figure out how I feel about the gift thing...if you'd given them a full set of china, and on their way home from the wedding they....hmm, were doing some sort of silly walk and dropped it and it broke (the silly walk meaning that it wasn't just an accident, they had a full and total hand in it happening, and if they'd done it in a proper, normal way things would have been fine)...you'd be sad, out the money, without them getting the benefit of your gift. Now there's no situation where you could get the money back with that, no matter what you did with it, unless it were somehow already under insurance and you wanted to deal with the ramifications of a homeowner's/renter's insurance claim...but I can see the feelings being there.

While I know you hate to see the money wasted, it was a gift to them and if they choose to waste it, then that was their decision. I also agree that you shouldn't ask your son for the money back. But it certainly does tell you about both the son and DIL's maturity and ability to be financially responsible. So I wouldn't buy them any more expensive gifts, cosign a mortage or lease agreement for them, cosign a loan for a new car or do anything else that is expensive, especially since they don't apparently don't understand how much money that is too waste for the cruise and will likely show similar understanding when it comes to leases, new car loans, etc.

This pretty much sums it up for me! Since it was a gift, there should be no expectation for payback from either them or refund from RCI.

 

There is a reason they call it tough love. Saying no to those you love and want to help out can be tough... but it looks to me like the next time they need help... the answer should be no.

 

Best of luck to you and to them in their marriage!

[Happy ks]

It's a huge disappointment for you, but I agree with the others, you have to let it go. I've never heard of a cruiseline giving back anything once the ship has sailed, not even a future credit.

 

It does make one wonder just how long this marriage will work out. I find it unbelievable that someone wants to be married when only briefly out of their childhood and zero experience with real life, but then a lot of what people do astonishes me.

 

I do wish for you that they don't multiply and return, for you to take care of their financial disasters. Remind them when they come asking for money again, how they blew off $1100 of your money already, and you are not anxious to throw any more cash at them.

 

I work with a woman whose son got married a couple of months ago (he's 20, she was 16), she had to have written permission from her parents to marry and.....no, she's not pregnant :rolleyes: . The son has no car because of a DUI and no drivers license, so she had to drive them to their honeymoon, she stayed in the adjoing hotel room. Since they have little money (she's still in high school) and the son has no diploma (he dropped out at 16), the mother is renting an apartment with them :eek: . Almost every day at lunch, I hear her giving the brutal details of the marriage and the first year trying to adjust. I'd love to change my lunch time, but it's like a car accident, terrible to see but you have to look once you finally get to it.

 

My kids are teens, I'll lock them in their rooms before I allow them to do any of the above.

[threeofus]

You would have been out $1100 if they'd have taken the cruise.... You're not out any more or less. Your son and DIL are the ones who are out. It is pretty sad, he really blew it.

 

 

That is a very good point!

This is going to be a sore spot in that marriage for a long time...disappointed women have long memories. I hope things get better - I really do.

 

I doubt RCL will do anything for you. If they do, they negate the reason people buy insurance. Almost everyone has a sad story as to why their cruise has to be canceled.

[Moeve]

WHAT and these kids think they are mature enough to be married?!?

 

I hate being the bearer of bad news but what on earth is DIL going to do when things really go uphill or get unpleasant??

 

Mom do remind them that in the big world they loose out.

 

on a side note....

I know getting married early in the US is sort of normal but parents if your kids are not mature enough (in this case it sure as heck does not sound like these kids are) why are you not telling them to wait a little longer? The 16 year - what were those parents thinking -nothing I guess?!?!

[deban42]

I feel so sorry for this OP.:( As a mother of 4 grown daughters I know how upset she must be. You probably, had to work pretty hard to get that cruise for your DS and DIL. And to see it just thrown away like that.I would be LIVID. AS parents we all what to give our kids better than what we had. Probelm is they've hadn't to struggle enough to appreciate it. I've have learnt that lesson, WELL.:mad: So as wedding presents to my children,

I gave a months house or rent payment. And let them take it from there.;)

[BobbyK]

I'm the mom of three boys, now grown up. It's so tough. I agree with those that say it was a gift and leave it alone. Your son and DIL made their choices. Instead of going on a cruise they're honeymooning at her mother's house. Both had a role in this and made the choice. Someone mentioned not to cosign and things like that. The cost of a cruise will be nothing compared to something you cosign, loan money for, etc. It's a hard lesson for everyone. Robin

[Arizona Cruz Chic]

Again I'm sorry your son and his bride are having such a hard time getting their new life together as man and wife. We too were young, DH was 20 and I was barely 18. We will be married 40 years this July our frist born came 15 months after we married. :)

 

I wish your son and new DIL lots of luck I think they are really going to need it to make their marriage sucessful. ;)

 

***

[Tia6368]

How did they get to her mother's house? Did they call a locksmith or is your van still sitting somewhere? It is just so hard to imagine anyone failing to show up for a cruise, especially a cruise that your mother and father paid for!

[jdkey]

I agree with the others about letting it go. (easier said than done) It was a Gift and you were out the $ either way. They lost out on a great trip.

They neither one sound mature enough to be married and I hope & Pray for your sake they don't start a family anytime soon!!

Everyone has said it's time to get tough but you said you didn't think they were old enough but no one would listen, are they listening now? You really can't be the only one to get tough on them unless you have some support from other family like your dh. Since they are at her mom's, I guess they aren't going to help get tough. Good luck you have my sympathy and prayers.

Deb

[cusyl]

Long story short here....I bought my son a honeymoon for a wedding present. They were supposed to go on Enchantment today. After a very nice wedding, it turns out my son has been very irresponsible with very many things and after the car broke down and my husband and I bought last minute air tickets for them and gave our van for them to drive to the airport, he lost the keys! Well, that was the straw that broke the camel's back with my daughter in law and so they are now spending their honeymoon at her mom's house. Needless to say, I was lucky to be able to cancel the last minute air tickets, but I'm out my money on the cruise, $1100. I didn't buy insurance as I've never heard of anyone not going on their honeymoon! So anyone have any ideas as to who I can plead my case to and get at least SOME money back, or is it hopeless?

 

You're like me, you want the best for your son and tried to help him out of his problem. However, I have found (thousands of dollars later) that if they don't earn the money themselves they don't appreciate anything.

That was certainly a wonderful generous gift and would have been a perfect honeymoon for them. When he has to pay for his first cruise himself he will appreciate it more.