Completely Depressed & Frustrated...HELP!

[smoothdancer]

LOL... Dogboy, I love that name!

[happysinglemom]

I dunno..not sure if this one is going to sprout or not...

 

Dogboy called me last night, "hey baby how are you" in the message..I didn't answer!

 

It may not...but that's okay. All you need right now are things to keep your mind off what dogboy did. And I suspect you'll have plenty of them. ;)

 

I love that name too. :rolleyes: :D

[Gathina]

I think dogboy is getting suspicious..he sent me an IM last night which I didn't respond to then an email that I didn't open yet. Ugh. I'm back into anger and apathetic mode!

 

 

It may not...but that's okay. All you need right now are things to keep your mind off what dogboy did. And I suspect you'll have plenty of them. ;)

 

I love that name too. :rolleyes: :D

[smoothdancer]

Good, it will give hm reason to relect on his behavior and sweat out the consequences.

 

I was thinking, I know he is in the military but if you continue to be silent when he gets a leave could there be a chance that he will just show up at your doorstep? If so, something you might want to prepare yourself for.

[Gathina]

Yep..and that has happeneed before and could very well happen by the end of the month like it did before.

 

I have a very good looking Jamaican man friend, I offered him $50.00 to sit in my house for an entire weekend with no shirt on. I was going to go to the Bahamas that weekend and leave my car at home. I figured all he has to do is answer the door when Dogboy shows up and that'll solve everything. Brilliant idea, I say....:D

 

Good, it will give hm reason to relect on his behavior and sweat out the consequences.

 

I was thinking, I know he is in the military but if you continue to be silent when he gets a leave could there be a chance that he will just show up at your doorstep? If so, something you might want to prepare yourself for.

[Chigirlcruzin]

Sorry I missed sending Birthday wishes Leslie...hope you had a grand time!!

 

 

Thank you! I did!

[happysinglemom]

I have a very good looking Jamaican man friend, I offered him $50.00 to sit in my house for an entire weekend with no shirt on. I was going to go to the Bahamas that weekend and leave my car at home. I figured all he has to do is answer the door when Dogboy shows up and that'll solve everything. Brilliant idea, I say....:D

 

OMG I just completely cracked up when I read that!!! :D:D

 

I was thinking da haamm now THAT is a distraction!!!

Shoot...I'd pay him $50 to sit in my house too...but I'm gonna be sittin' here looking at him!!! ;):p

[Gathina]

I thought it was a smashing idea. $50.00 per day, and I was going to throw in a case of beer. To me, this is the perfect plan with a very low screw up factor! :)

 

I'm thinking of breaking the news to his moomie this weekend..she'll side with me and knowing her she'll probalby come up with a brilliant plan to dupe him, unless she kills him first. But I will probably wait unti I resolve it with him.

 

OMG I just completely cracked up when I read that!!! :D:D

 

I was thinking da haamm now THAT is a distraction!!!

Shoot...I'd pay him $50 to sit in my house too...but I'm gonna be sittin' here looking at him!!! ;):p

[smoothdancer]

Oh good Lord, are you sure it only cost $50.00.... I am so in!!!

 

Go easy on the MIL... I know she loves you to death,and you do her. You have had time to reflect and get use to the idea of what you thought was, was not.... She has not.... Then of course being a mom myself it takes us twice as long as a sane person to accept that our own child could be a jerk!!

[happysinglemom]

Oh good Lord, are you sure it only cost $50.00.... I am so in!!!

 

I know...isn't it a great idea???? :D

 

Go easy on the MIL... I know she loves you to death,and you do her. You have had time to reflect and get use to the idea of what you thought was, was not.... She has not.... Then of course being a mom myself it takes us twice as long as a sane person to accept that our own child could be a jerk!!

 

 

Ah yes....mom here too. And that is very true. :o Good point.

[Gathina]

Well, Dogboy is definately suspcious of something, as all of a sudden he leaving me IM's when I've left the computer on all night. Ha. I really do think he's going to show up.

 

My error..50.00 per day..but hey, it could be 150.00 well spent for a 3 day weekend..oh could you imagine..I think this might be the answer. I could see Linton padding to the door, scratching his dread locks and answering the door like he just woke up, standing there in his shorts! LOLOLOL :)

 

There's a big cultural piece to this ..one time she caught him saying something to me she didn't like and she made him feel like he was 5 years old..it was kinda funny!

 

 

Oh good Lord, are you sure it only cost $50.00.... I am so in!!!

 

Go easy on the MIL... I know she loves you to death,and you do her. You have had time to reflect and get use to the idea of what you thought was, was not.... She has not.... Then of course being a mom myself it takes us twice as long as a sane person to accept that our own child could be a jerk!!

[Gathina]

Ok, so where is BRENDA??

 

No news to report but it's been freezing here all weekend in the 50's which feels like the 30's to me.

 

Two emails from Dogboy over the weekend and I didn't answer any of them. Woof woof....

 

Menina

[bobandkelly]

Hi all, I've been wondering about Brenda too. If you read this I hope your well and just busy with life, eating healthy and exercising.

 

Gathina, I'm not giving any advice. You need to do what you feel is right. Of course there are things I'd say but today I'm keeping it quiet.

 

The cold has been terrible. Last Thu & Fri there was not a school district open. Wind chills in the -30's & 40's. Today it supposed to get to 18 and that is going to feel good. My DD that moved to Panama City called on Thu and said it was cold. I told the temp here and she was glad for the cold of FL and glad she was not here!

 

Kelly

[Gathina]

Kelly: I need to do something and fast, but for whatever reason I can't bring myself to do it. I don't want him back by no means, but I just keep thinking when I don't know what to say it's better to do nothing? I am moving on as best as I can but I waffle between depression, anger, and relief. Kinda like a grieving process I guess??

 

Brenda: We all hope you are well and just busy with whatever is going on.

 

Hi all, I've been wondering about Brenda too. If you read this I hope your well and just busy with life, eating healthy and exercising.

 

Gathina, I'm not giving any advice. You need to do what you feel is right. Of course there are things I'd say but today I'm keeping it quiet.

 

The cold has been terrible. Last Thu & Fri there was not a school district open. Wind chills in the -30's & 40's. Today it supposed to get to 18 and that is going to feel good. My DD that moved to Panama City called on Thu and said it was cold. I told the temp here and she was glad for the cold of FL and glad she was not here!

 

Kelly

[smoothdancer]

Why do you need to do something fast?

[Gathina]

Because the farther I move away from him the closer he seems to come..like now email every day before it was a little less frequent. I have found over 3 years that when I seem indiffernet toward him he does that. Plus I think he is planning a trip here.

 

Why do you need to do something fast?

[bobandkelly]

Because the farther I move away from him the closer he seems to come..like now email every day before it was a little less frequent. I have found over 3 years that when I seem indiffernet toward him he does that. Plus I think he is planning a trip here.

 

Isn't there some saying about that? Distancer/Pursuror(that's spelled wrong) I hope you find what you want in this relationship. If he does go there maybe you can talk in person. Sort things out. Then make your decision.

Kelly

[Gathina]

I dunno, I am pretty sure I've made my deicsion. I know myself too well to know I couldn't get beyond the cheating part even if I did forgive him, forgetting is the hard part.

 

I've had 2 other men ask me out..besides the first guy who fizzled..one of the two is ex military..I know..but it's part of the crowd I run with due to different levels of people I hang with..I've been chatty with them but a date even just for tea kinda nausetes me. Even if it's just friends thing!

 

Isn't there some saying about that? Distancer/Pursuror(that's spelled wrong) I hope you find what you want in this relationship. If he does go there maybe you can talk in person. Sort things out. Then make your decision.

Kelly

[smoothdancer]

I do think that absence does make the heart grow fonder. But it sounds more like to me that he wants something he cant have kind of thing, you back off her calls more, you are there he is around less...

 

You should be able to just walk away when you want without as much as a word but after a three year relationship I just dont think he is going to quietly go away unless you tell him the relationship is over. I know this is not what you want, would rather it just fizzle out, but I just cant see that happening. Sooner or later it has got to come to a head. I do think you are fortunate in that it sounds like you have made your decision, it is just the telling him part that has you. You dont owe him any explanation, you can simply say it all or nothing more than it is over.

 

My husband was unfaithful for many years. There came a point that he truly changed his ways. After about 2 years of his turn around, one day I just told him I would like him to leave, filed for divorce. So I do understand the forgive part, I really wanted to but I just did not have it in me, and I could not see any good future for us. Some can forgive and go on, some cannot...

[happysinglemom]

I dunno, I am pretty sure I've made my deicsion. I know myself too well to know I couldn't get beyond the cheating part even if I did forgive him, forgetting is the hard part.

 

I've had 2 other men ask me out..besides the first guy who fizzled..one of the two is ex military..I know..but it's part of the crowd I run with due to different levels of people I hang with..I've been chatty with them but a date even just for tea kinda nausetes me. Even if it's just friends thing!

 

Well, eventually, after more time has passed, so will the nausea. :p

 

As far as dogman showing up...only you know if you really want to face him. To be honest, it might not be a bad idea to confront him face to face and let him have it...loud and clear. And then throw him out...or not. :rolleyes:

 

Hard call...I can't even begin to tell you what to do. I know you'll make the right choice for yourself - you're a smart chickie! ;)

 

I went skiing this past weekend - first time this season. Took my son (he boards - I ski) and a neighbor's boy....had a blast! Can't wait to go again...I just wish it wasn't so expensive!!!

[Gathina]

I never threw a man out in my life..how do you do that???

 

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A 28 year old man asked me out yesterday and I went. I told him how old I was, he didn't care. The guy treated me like a queen the entire evening. I felt so OLD. He asked me out again and even asked me what I was doing for Valentines Day. I went home so depressed, called me girfriends who thought it was COOL a man that young wanted to be with me. He said he didn't want a "girl" because girls play games, he wanted a mature woman. Is this a new trend or something I am not aware of????:eek:

 

 

Well, eventually, after more time has passed, so will the nausea. :p

 

As far as dogman showing up...only you know if you really want to face him. To be honest, it might not be a bad idea to confront him face to face and let him have it...loud and clear. And then throw him out...or not. :rolleyes:

 

Hard call...I can't even begin to tell you what to do. I know you'll make the right choice for yourself - you're a smart chickie! ;)

 

I went skiing this past weekend - first time this season. Took my son (he boards - I ski) and a neighbor's boy....had a blast! Can't wait to go again...I just wish it wasn't so expensive!!!

[bobandkelly]

Gathina, I started dating my DH when he was 23 and I was 33. It was the whole no mind games thing neither of us wanted. I was over it and so was he. We have been happily married for 15 years. The age difference has never been a problem. We only joke about oldies music.

I had 2 kids from my first marriage and had my tubes tied. He was and still is great with the girls. Their dad is an alcoholic so Bob gave the emotional support their dad could not.

The funny part is that he is 39 now and people still ask him if he wants kids of his own. He really feels like the girls are his kids and he's always treated them like they were. And when he tells them why would he want to start now when ours are both out of the house the still don't get it.

 

Not saying your going to marry the guy or anything. Just wanted to let you know that it can work. And if nothing else can be a nice distraction for you. And doesn't it feel good to know you look good enough for a young guy to take an interest!

 

How old are you? I'm guessing you're not that old, early 30's maybe.

Kelly

[Gathina]

I'm 39.

 

My best friend lives in England and is married 10 years to an Air Force guy. When he first took a liking to her I encouraged her to go. She used to cry "Oh I'm black, fat,and fifty".note he is 20 years younger than her and is white as snow and came from rural Pennsylvania. She's a cosmpolitan type woman from Detroit.

 

They have one of the best marriages I know of. He loves her to pieces. When I visit them people notice the race and think he is my husband and she is the friend tagging along. They get quite a laugh when I point and say "no, that's her husband, I am the friend tagging along"

 

The guy already called me and texted me twice..geez!!:rolleyes:

 

Still need someone to tell me how to throw a man out of the house!

 

Gathina, I started dating my DH when he was 23 and I was 33. It was the whole no mind games thing neither of us wanted. I was over it and so was he. We have been happily married for 15 years. The age difference has never been a problem. We only joke about oldies music.

I had 2 kids from my first marriage and had my tubes tied. He was and still is great with the girls. Their dad is an alcoholic so Bob gave the emotional support their dad could not.

The funny part is that he is 39 now and people still ask him if he wants kids of his own. He really feels like the girls are his kids and he's always treated them like they were. And when he tells them why would he want to start now when ours are both out of the house the still don't get it.

 

Not saying your going to marry the guy or anything. Just wanted to let you know that it can work. And if nothing else can be a nice distraction for you. And doesn't it feel good to know you look good enough for a young guy to take an interest!

 

How old are you? I'm guessing you're not that old, early 30's maybe.

Kelly

[happysinglemom]

Still need someone to tell me how to throw a man out of the house!

 

Simple. You open the door, look at him, point at the doorway, and say "Get OUT".

 

It worked for me. :p

[Gathina]

First of all, a shout out to Brenda..where are you? We miss you! Remember where you were a year ago and look how far you came! I hope she is ok.

 

Well, I anticipate dropping "the bomb" on Dogboy in the next few days. Interestingly, his cousin had me for dinner the other night and gave me a talking to about him...that she was not happy how he's avoided the whole family and especially me and she thinks I can do better than him. None of the family has heard from him for weeks, phone or email. She was not happy and it's a close family. This is the part that kills me the most is what will happen to my relationship with the family. Everyone at dinner kept making reference to when we get married. I felt so sick to my stomach I knew it was now time to drop the bomb. Then his aunt and I are going to see the rest of the faimily in Jamaica for 2 weeks in April so that worries me.

 

On a happier note, I met a delightful man when I was sitting at Panera's having coffee and he asked for my number. We are supposed to meet at Barnes and Noble for tea Fri. night. Silly..what impressed me was not only was he well dressed and traveled and articulate, he actually is a semipro chess player..now you don't see schlepp playing chess. He has a normal job as a manager for one of the airlines here. I was shocked when he did call me after we had that brief encounter.

 

So we'll see. You know, my usual menina way, "look nice, show up, be nice, goodbye go home" :)

 

Hope all is well..having some lovely days here in Florida!

 

Simple. You open the door, look at him, point at the doorway, and say "Get OUT".

 

It worked for me. :p