The Palm Trees are Really Cool: A Pictorial Review of the Valor's Southern Route

I’ve only been home for four days and I’ve got all 2000 pictures uploaded and I’m ready to review! That’s some personal progress!

Anyways, hello! If you haven’t read any of my other reviews, my name is Nicole, I’m clinging to the vestiges of my 20s, I have a degree in journalism that I don’t use at all because I’ve sold my soul to work as an ops manager at a dot com in Chicago. In my free time, I enjoy naps. And taking pictures of things. And chronicling my travels in a blog. I live in downtown Chicago and I vacation at least three times a year to keep myself sane (because the greatest perk of my job is the generous PTO). Here’s a gratuitous picture of myself in one of my favorite places:

((If you’re trying to place it, it’s Domaine Carneros in Napa))

I go on cruises with my family twice a year – every May (for my Mom’s birthday) and either in the Fall or Winter to gear up for winter or get the hell out of Chicago during the winter (Chiberia isn’t an urban legend, friends. It’s its own ring of hell). Gratuitous family photo below.

We’re Platinum on Carnival (I think this was our 14th Carnival cruise?), but we’ve also sailed on Royal Caribbean and Princess. We aren’t blind to the shortfalls of the Carnival experience – we’re not so much loyal to the brand as much as we are loyal to ourselves and finding a good itinerary at a good time for a good price.

Some obligatory disclaimers and warnings about this review:

1. This will be extraordinarily picture heavy. If pictures aren’t your thing, this review probably won’t be, either.

2. I can’t promise a glow-y, sugar-coated review. If I don’t like something, I’ll say it. I pride my reviews on being honest, even where my opinion may be unpopular. If you can respect my right to my opinion, I will always respect your right to disagree with it ;)

3. I really hope some or any of you find something helpful in this review to help you plan for your own trips. We do a lot of our planning through reading reviews on Cruise Critic and I write these, in part, to pay it forward. If you’re following our travels here or on my blog, please drop me a comment! I love to know who’s following along and if you ever have any questions, I’m more than happy to try to answer!

4. All pictures in this review are my own and I claim all rights. Please do not steal them or post them elsewhere without my consent.

5. More often than not, everything I post here will be posted on my blog before it’s posted here. Why? Because much of the reason I write these is to chronicle it for my family, and Blogger takes a different photo format than Cruise Critic does, so I have to reformat the coding before I post it here. If you prefer to read in small bursts, reading it on here might be best. If you want to read each installment in one long, uninterrupted post, reading it on my blog might be more to your liking.

So with that…lets talk about the Valor!

Why the Valor?

So, funny thing. We weren’t intending to sail on Carnival this spring. We had so much fun on Royal Caribbean last spring that we wanted to do another Allure (or an Oasis) cruise. One day, Stephanie was playing around on the Carnival site pricing out cruises (because our minds are never really made up until we’re booked) and when she was pricing out this cruise for funsies, she noticed it was really low. Like, unbelievably low. Like…first two cruisers were free. We didn’t know that the free cruise promotion was happening at the time so we thought it was a site glitch. After a quick discussion about whether or not we wanted such a port heavy trip, the fact that we’d get to go to so many awesome ports and be in St. Lucia on Mom’s birthday sealed it. We booked thinking it was a site glitch and maybe once they found out, they’d honor it.

And then Stephanie got a letter in the mail a couple days later saying she had a free cruise. We don’t know how she was selected. It seems the promo was incredibly random. So our rate wasn’t a glitch – two of us were free. We had to pay the third person rate and the upgrade to a balcony (and the obligatory taxes and fees), but other than that? Free! Free! Free!

Oh, the Valor! I remember you!

We’ve sailed on the Valor before. We did a Western Caribbean on her back in 2011. It was our Platinum cruise. And I ended up in the hospital a day after we got home. Good times. Okay, the hospital part not so much but we had a ton of fun on the Valor (see dumb throwback picture below). And while the Valor hasn’t had the Funship 2.0 upgrades yet (RIP breakfast arepas from the Blue Iguana Cantina!), it did have something that fixed something that left a bad taste in my mouth on the last cruise – full on production shows with sets, not animatronic screens, a full dance troupe instead of a few dancers who can also sing and a live band instead of a prerecorded track. Yeah, we could do with a visit back to our old friend, the Valor.

And Puerto Rico! I think I remember you, too!

This wouldn’t be our first visit to Puerto Rico. In the infamous (amongst our family) Tropical Storm Barry Family Cruise of 2007, we made a stop in San Juan on the Liberty. Mom didn’t get off the ship. Stephanie and I went to Senor Frogs for yardas (we were in college – it was a recurring theme in all cruises we took between 2004 and 2008). Another throwback photo below.

I was also shooting with a point and shoot then, so I was taking really awesome pictures like this:

Stephanie and I are a little older now. I like to think we’re a little more cultured. A little more interested in visits to historic landmarks than to…Senor Frogs. Maybe. San Juan was a new place to really explore. Something out of our comfort zone since Florida is nearly now (and for much of our childhood was) our second home, but there was no part of San Juan that was familiar to us, and I think there’s something exciting in that.

St. Thomas, St. Maarten, good to see you again

In 16 cruises, I think we’ve been to St. Thomas at least six or seven times. We must have visited St. Maarten at least five or six times. So with a lack of sea days and no late arrivals into port, St. Thomas and St. Maarten served as our rest days. We planned to make no plans. Gratuitous St. Thomas photo below.

New Ports? Well, hello!

We’ve never visited St. Lucia or Barbados before, and we’ve only been to St. Kitts once. So while this itinerary wouldn’t give us much sea time, it would give us the opportunity to visit some exotic new locales. I dug it.

I think that’s all the background this intro requires. Part one coming your way tonight or tomorrow!

Excited for your review. Can't wait for more!

Cant wait for more! A few weeks ago I spent a ridiculous amount of time reading alllll of your reviews on your blog so I feel like we are bffs now lol. Hubby and I went on the Valor in sept...I started my review but with a crazy work schedule I am only half way thru. I too was posting here and on my blog. Ive since been just posting it on my blog and when I finish it in 2016 ill post a link on CC. I almost quit but your blog reminded me that I'm doing it for me and that's all that matters :) I'm going back to San Juan for the Splendor repo in Nov so looking forward to seeing what u did there :)

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Did this cruise last fall as a b2b and are doing another b2b on it next fall. Loved the cruise, obviously, and can't wait to read another review. Always looking for new ideas and something to help pass the next 400+ days.

WOOHOO! I've been waiting for this one! Nicole, your reviews are my faves! I will be keeping an eye on the blog again for updates :)

Excited for your review. Can't wait for more!

Wooooo!

Cant wait for more! A few weeks ago I spent a ridiculous amount of time reading alllll of your reviews on your blog so I feel like we are bffs now lol. Hubby and I went on the Valor in sept...I started my review but with a crazy work schedule I am only half way thru. I too was posting here and on my blog. Ive since been just posting it on my blog and when I finish it in 2016 ill post a link on CC. I almost quit but your blog reminded me that I'm doing it for me and that's all that matters :) I'm going back to San Juan for the Splendor repo in Nov so looking forward to seeing what u did there :)

 

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Hi hi hello! Can't wait to share my travels with you! And read about yours! :)

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Did this cruise last fall as a b2b and are doing another b2b on it next fall. Loved the cruise, obviously, and can't wait to read another review. Always looking for new ideas and something to help pass the next 400+ days.

Well I'll have plenty of photos to help you pass the time!

WOOHOO! I've been waiting for this one! Nicole, your reviews are my faves! I will be keeping an eye on the blog again for updates :)

Thanks!!! :)

Sent from my iPhone using Cruise Critic Forums mobile app

Love it! Can't wait for more.

Looking forward to a new one.Have you finished the others now?

Love it! Can't wait for more.

Doing some writing right now! :)

Looking forward to a new one.Have you finished the others now?

Sure have!

Sent from my iPhone using Cruise Critic Forums mobile app

Our first day of vacation started with a 5:15 am wakeup call. American is our preferred airline for non-west coast jaunts (Virgin America owns that space in my wallet), and American only has one non-stop route from Chicago to San Juan a day – at 8:30 am. So this meant two things: one, I had to be up before the sun on my first day of vacation and two, we were screwed out of a day in San Juan if our flight was cancelled. I know, you’re thinking “But it’s May, Nicole. The chances of the weather screwing with your flight is miniscule,” but let me tell you something: it snowed in Chicago days before our flight. At the end of May. Chicago weather don’t care what month it is.

Luckily for us, the weather forecast was clear for our departure, so with a 5:15 wakeup call and a 6:00 am taxi pickup, we were off to O’Hare. And after a brief encounter with the TSA where Mom tried to smuggle a bottle of Diet Coke through security (no, Mom, it doesn’t matter if the bottle is unopened), we were sitting pretty in the terminal with nothing to do for a few hours before our flight.

What I love about O’Hare is that there’s never really nothing to do unless you’re there at 4:30 in the morning (which we’ve also done – apparently O’Hare does go dark). We grabbed some coffees at Starbucks and walked around the concourse. There’s an upscale Chocolate shop in O’Hare called Vosges Haut Chocolat. We have a few of their boutiques in Chicago and the prices are quasi ridiculous (read: one of their chocolate bars will set you back $8.00 and change), but the product is legit and all kinds of delicious. We grabbed a bar to split amongst the three of us on the flight. Why not. We’re on vacation!

Before we knew it, we were boarding. We took our time booking the flight, which worked to our detriment because prices were higher than they had been when we booked. We booked business class seats because American doesn’t offer a First Class service on their ORD/SJU route, and when we were pricing out the flight, the price of the business class seats weren’t much more than the economy seats + the preferred seating upgrades we usually do + luggage. For a 4+ hour flight, the nominal difference was worth it for us to have the bigger seats, generous leg room and meal service.

While we were boarding, Stephanie chided me that I should “sing the song.” When she did her first First Class flight, I jokingly told her she should sing Glamorous as she boarded and she ended up with the song stuck in her head on her flight. Except, okay. So I’ve had this slight obsession with the Virgin America Safety Video since my last San Fran trip because it’s ridiculously catchy (and informative!) and I watched it while we were sitting in the terminal. So while we boarded, I may or may not have been singing the Virgin America safety song. If you haven’t watched the video, click play.

After a bit of a choppy takeoff, the purser came around to take drink orders and we waved goodbye to the skyline as we cruised southeast.

Round one? Champagne. Always. It’s 8:30 in the morning? I’m pretty sure it’s noon somewhere in Europe, so this is totally fine.

Not for Mom, though. Since the TSA confiscated her contraband caffeine, she went straight for the Diet Coke.

The champagne went down the hatch at an embarrassingly rapid pace because at any given time, I’m convinced any airplane I’m on is going to fall out of the sky and the Virgin America Safety Video won’t help me much then. Stephanie is vehemently against me drugging myself into a peaceful multi-hour slumber after the Tropical Storm Barry Flight of 2007 (I may or may not have popped three Dramamines that may or may not have worked because the plane was literally pitching from side to side, up and down, for the entire flight, causing my body to fight the drowsy agents that usually put me to sleep with way too much adrenaline, and then the combination of Adrenaline and Dramamine may or may not have caused mild hallucinations in the limo on the way home), so I paralyze my fears with champs and vodka. Not at the same time. That wouldn’t taste too good.

I think the purser realized this when the following conversation ensued:

Purser: I have bad news and I have good news, girls. Which do you want first?

Me: Gimme the bad news.

Purser: We’re out of champagne. The good news is that we have everything else. Would you like me to make you a Screwdriver?

Yes, yes I would. Clink!

We were barely a half hour into the flight at this point, so I’m not even sure how we were out of champagne, but the vodka was going to work quicker so I wasn’t going to question it. A+ to our flight purser, though. Another drink came with breakfast (a delicious soy bacon quiche lorraine), and he insisted on giving each of us a glass of water to keep us hydrated. Across the aisle, Mom vacillated between gratitude and embarrassment.

We cooled it with the boozing after breakfast. Stephanie and Mom settled in with the in-flight movie (Saving Mr. Banks) and I watched a bootleg of The Book of Mormon on my iPad. I also grabbed an all-day internet pass on my phone, but if I had known better, I would have only grabbed an hours worth. What they don’t tell you (even though I guess it makes sense when you think about it) is Gogo doesn’t work when you’re flying over water. So the first hour and a half of our flight was over land and the wifi worked like a charm, but once we cut through South Carolina and over the Atlantic, that wifi signal drops out.

After a short nap, we decided to cap the flight off with one more drink and before we knew it, we were starting our descent into San Juan.

We even spotted a cruise ship!

If you can snag a window seat, the descent into San Juan is actually quite picturesque.

SJU isn’t a large airport. It’s not small, either. But it’s not as big as Chicago or Miami. That was the first thing I noticed. The second is that there were Gasolina ads everywhere.

What is Gasolina, you might ask? I was reading a Valor review and the reviewer mentioned that she stopped at a CVS to get some Gasolina before her cruise. Gasolina? Like the Daddy Yankee song? Gasolina are these Capri Sun-like juice pouches that are spiked with a lot of booze. Vodka and rum, mostly. They come in a bunch of different flavors and when I read about them, I was determined to buy some and bring it on the cruise with me. SJU was a step ahead of me. I didn’t want to carry another bag on top of my luggage and carry ons, so I decided I’d find it on the island and we headed down to baggage claim.

Something that I couldn’t find much information on before we left was transportation in San Juan. We debated for a few weeks whether or not we should rent a car, but we ultimately decided not to because we didn’t know how much parking there would be in Old San Juan (where we’d do most of our touring). Since our hotel didn’t offer a shuttle, we were left to cab it.

San Juan has this cab situation figured out and it works very well. After you grab your luggage, you head outside and there will be a long line for taxi’s. Don’t worry, the line moves quickly.

All rates are pre-posted by zone, with every hotel in San Juan assigned a zone. Every additional fee is clearly stated. So for us to go from the airport to our hotel was a flat rate of $19, plus a $2 or $3 fuel surcharge and $1 per suitcase.

To make this even easier, when you are in line waiting for a cab, someone comes and fills out a receipt for you to give the driver. Before you even step foot in the cab, you know how much your ride will be. No hidden fees. No language barriers. No driving up the meter by taking the long way. It’s all laid out for you upfront.

Most of the cabs are large, white vans that can sit between four and seven, depending on how much luggage you have. And in case you were wondering more about the cab rates? They’re posted on the windows of most of the cabs, too.

There was a lot of mid-day traffic on the highway, so we were thankful for the non-metered rates. It was a 20 minute ride or so and we were at our hotel: the Caribe Hilton.

I’m not sure which area the Caribe Hilton is in – it’s not quite in Old San Juan, but it’s not quite in Condado, either. We booked it on Priceline with bids for a 4-star in the Old San Juan/Condado area, so Priceline apparently can’t tell, either. I think we paid $155/night plus fees. On top of that, the hotel charges an 18% resort fee upon check-in. The 18% is of the rate you pay on Priceline, not their published rates, and included wi-fi, use of the beach and pools and probably other amenities that I don’t remember because we didn’t use.

Check in was quick and pleasant, and unlike check in’s with many other hotels we’ve booked off Priceline, where you get an “Ohh, you’ve booked through Priceline” at check in before they try to throw three people into a single-bed room (I’m looking at you, Sheraton Fort Lauderdale Beach), the person doing our check in didn’t even mention Priceline – they just asked for a credit card for incidentals and whether we wanted a king or two fulls before handing us room keys and a map of the grounds and sending us on our merry way. Four for you, Caribe Hilton.

We were given a room on the fourth floor of the main tower. It was large, clean, well-appointed and seemed to be recently (or at least semi-recently) renovated. And a gorgeous view of the ocean and the Condado area off our small, private balcony. We were incredibly pleased with our luck on this one.