Allure of The Seas Review in many chapters!

Okay, I've never done a true cruise review before, but I figured what the heck, so here goes!

To start with, the conclusion. This was a FANTASTIC cruise! I absolutely loved it. I would do it again in a hearbeat! The reason I start with the conclusion, is that while it was fantastic, and I did love it, to no surprise, it wasn’t perfect. I review a lot of aspects of the cruise below, and in reviewing this, some of the posts are more focusing on what needs improvement (in my eyes, at least). So I just wanted to reiterate again up front, I had a WONDERFUL time!

First, some background. This is my eleventh cruise, fifth with RCI, and first true solo. I had a long BUSY summer and this was my end of summer relaxation week. So, 7 days on Allure of The Seas, sailing Sunday of Labor Day weekend!

Next Up: Pre-sailing- Orlando & Ft. Lauderdale

PRE-SAILING- Orlando and Ft. Lauderdale

The trip started a little earlier, with a side trip to Orlando on Friday. I lived for a time in Orlando, and still have some friends there and seized the opportunity to catch up. So, a flight from Boston to Orlando on Friday in order to have dinner with friends, then a drive to Ft. Lauderdale Sunday.

A last minute change turned out to be a treat of luxury. Originally I was staying at a perfectly nice Embassy Suites in downtown Orlando, but based on where people were coming from, we made plans to dine at a restaurant at The Ritz-Carlton Grande Lakes. Well, out of curiosity, I took a peak on-line, and the Ritz had a room available for the SAME RATE! Not a tough call!

And it was a treat! I arrived mid-afternoon, checked in to a fabulous room and hit the pool to unwind. The nicest part was not having to drive anywhere to meet my friends, instead they came to me!

Had a fantastic dinner on Friday and really enjoyed catching up. Saturday morning, I hit the road for Ft. Lauderdale about 10:30. Now, before living in Orlando, I was in college in Miami, and I've done the Florida Turnpike a number of times. However, I had forgotten how MIND-NUMBINGLY boring it is!

Mercifully, I made it to Ft. Lauderdale around 3:00, and checked into The Hilton Marina. Mental note: In the future, try and avoid switching from a Ritz-Carlton to a Hilton over consecutive nights! It was perfectly nice, but DEFINITELY not the same thing! LOL!

Again, hit the pool for the remainder of the afternoon before heading out for a bite to eat. Hit the 15th St. Fisheries at the marina, as I had read a good deal of positive reviews. My experience? mixed. It's a quintessential seaside seafood bar and restaurant- big bar, lots of tables inside, and then a wraparound deck with waterfront tables. Problem is, they're trying to be something they're not. They ARE good at basic fresh seafood. They ARE NOT good at their half-hearted attempt at high end gourmet foods. Case in point: Shrimp & Grits- the shrimp were outstanding. The grits were a gooey mess with the consistency of cheesy mashed potatoes. I could picture the poor cook in the kitchen, probably a master of fresh seafood, struggling with a schizophrenic menu. My suggestion: Go and have a great time. Good cold beer, great mixed drinks. And order what a place like that LOOKS like it should be selling. Don't get sucked into the fancy stuff. They're out of their league!

After dinner, it was back to the hotel, and enjoyed a cigar by the outdoor bar along the marina. Very relaxing!

Next Up: Boarding Day!

SUNDAY- Boarding Day!

I awoke early, as I always do (force of habit), so I was able to watch Allure sail in a few minutes after five am. Took my time in the morning, and headed out of the hotel around 10:30. Now, I was in an interesting situation, as I had the rental car I still needed to return. So, I swung by the pier and ditched my bag with the porter.

*** Pulled up, stepped out, porter walked up, grabbed bag. I said "it needs a tag", and lightning quick, he smiled, said "no problem", grabbed one out of his back pocket, looked at my paperwork and wrote the room number on it clear as day. I believe this cost him a grand total of about 7 seconds. That'd right, I had NO premade luggage tag, and the world as we know it didn't come to an end that very moment!**** (sorry, I couldn't resist chumming the waters a little bit!

After tooling around Ft. Lauderdale for a bit, I dropped the car at the airport and grabbed a cab back to Terminal 18.

One of the real treats about sailing Oasis and Allure is Terminal 18. Unlike most of the other terminals, which represent a nice mix of 80's bus station-meets abandoned warehouse, Terminal 18 is bright, clean, beautiful and comfortable.

By the time I arrive, around 11:30, there were a good amount of people also arriving. I can't speak to how long security took, since I was in a Grand Suite, I used that entrance and blazed right through. Five minutes and I had my seapass card, and I was heading on board.

ON BOARD- First Impressions

I was on Oasis a few years back when she was merely a few months old. But now, after two full weeks on these ships combined, they still leave me speechless. There is really NOTHING like them. If you haven't sailed them because of some preconceived notion about too big, or too many people, I will simply say this: You are making a mistake. I say that with the qualification that I am posting this on the RCI boards, so I'm assuming you sail or are interested in sailing RCI. In that context, if the rest of the fleet isn't "too big" or "too much of a crowd", then neither are these ships.

THE STATEROOM- Grand Suite 14260

I LOVE having the space a suite provides. Especially when I am sailing solo. Going on my own, I'm more inclined to relax in my room or on my balcony at various times. And I really feel that I got a lot out of the extra space.

Strengths:

The balcony! Having a nice table with two padded chairs, and then two lounging chairs with footrests makes this a great place to relax.

The closet. I much prefer the large closet doors that swing out to the somewhat contrived "walk in closet" of the junior suite. Sure, it's a walk-in closet. but you could have the same amount of space if it was a regular closet and then have more space in the room.

Weaknesses:

The bathroom layout is kind of silly. It's huge, and there are two sinks- barely. You would never build a vanity in a home with two sinks this close together. I'm having trouble picturing two people getting ready at both sinks at the same time without elbowing each other! I think it's just one of those things that sounds so impressive, but in reality, it's kind of pointless. Beyond that, there is an oddly large open area in the bathroom that just doesn't feel like a terribly efficient use of space.

Room specific issues: Again, Grand Suite 14260

Plus: I actually really liked the overhang. Deck 15 juts out about 3-4 feet beyond the rest of the superstructure in this area. It's not so much to give you that sunken in feeling, but it provides a little more shade. It was also a treat when we had a downpour in Nassau, and I was able to stay bone dry on the balcony.

Plus: Location- Super convenient to the entire pool deck one flight up.

Weakness: Location! Other than the pool deck, everything else - Central Park, Promenade, Boardwalk, Main Dining Room, are a LONG way away. So I guess you just have to decide which is more appealing to have in proximity.

Weakness: THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! The noise from the pool deck is noticeable. Now, I have to qualify this: In the evenings, and late into the night, it is virtually nonexistent (with the exception of one random night, when I heard a bunch of stomping for about three minutes around 1AM). And I never heard noise from chairs being dragged. However, during the day, this cabin is right below what appears to be a primary "sprinting zone" for kids and teenagers.

OVERALL SUITE IMPRESSIONS:

I love the space. I will get a suite for the space. The "Extras" are pointless. Concierge lounge? meh... I spend enough time trapped in airport lounges when I'm working, the last thing I want to do on vacations is sit in one just to score a free drink. Others may feel differently, but for me, this isn't a big draw. As for the concierges? Ugh! I would have been happier without them! See "Customer Service" post for more details.

Afternoon canapes? They deliver a tray of cheese, crackers and fruit sometime around 3pm One day it's chocolate cookies and a mini cupcake. One day, it's a fresh fruit arrangement. It's a nice touch, but one that I would be 100% ambivalent about if it did not happen.

Priority boarding? This is nice, and I benefitted from it. But it isn't a selling point to me.

So, basically, it comes down to space. I'll take the suite for that!

Next Up: Dining!

DINING

This was a complete solo trip, and a highly antisocial one at that! I did not eat in the MDR the entire trip, and save one morning when my good judgment escaped me, I did not eat in the Windjammer either. So, feel free to tell me why those venues are good. But for this trip and my personal preferences, I wasn't interested.

BREAKFAST:

Most mornings, I grabbed some fruit, yogurt and maybe some granola in the Solarium Bistro. I like it because it's much more in line with what I eat for breakfast at home. If I go to the Windjammer, I'm too undisciplined NOT to end up with biscuits with sausage gravy, extra sausage, a couple danish... Then I lose all ambition! LOL!

The solarium was also great because, as an early riser, I would grab a quick bite to eat there, and then head to the pool for my morning sun and swim.

I did get room service one morning, and other than it taking MUCH longer than they said. It was fine. Although, I question the utility of ordering on your television, if a mere two minutes later someone calls your room to confirm the order and goes through it item by item! If I had known that was going to happen, I would have just called!

I never made it to Johnny Rockets or Park Cafe for breakfast. Basically, I didn't want to go all the way down there from deck 14, when all I was after was a quick bite before hitting the pool!

Next up: LUNCH!

LUNCH:

Again, skipping the MDR and The Windjammer still left me with plenty of options.

Johnny Rockets- Why oh why do I do this EVERY time I cruise???? It's just a sub-par fast food burger with mediocre fries, onion rings, and of course the chocolate milk shake! It happens every time (this time on the last day). I'm hungry, and some dysfunctional part of my brain goes "Hey, you know what would be GREAT right now? Johnny Rockets!". And before you know it, there I am. And then, I have my meal.... And feel gross! LOL!

Conclusion. It's Johnny Rockets. It is what it is...

Giovanni's Table- Everybody talks about it being a great value for lunch, and it is. Many of the same pasta dishes they have at night, a great (for on board a ship) fired seaafood medley appetizer, and several appealing entrees. Two warnings: They bring you a TON of food. Now, I'm good sized fella', and I can EAT! But I ended up with WAY more than I needed for lunch. Second, it gets very busy, and they appear to be stretched thin when it's at capacity. As a result, I spent over 90 minutes there for lunch.

Winning dish: The Pappardelle Pasta. Nice consistency, with a nice raddichio sauce.

Not-So-Great: The Veal Meatballs. Kind of mushy without any remarkable flavor. Covered in a red sauce that was way too sweet.

Izumi: SO MUCH BETTER FOR LUNCH THAN DINNER! Why? Because at lunch, they only serve the things they are good at, and NOT they things they are terrible at!

I love Izumi as well because it's one of the few places you can dine and actually realize you're on a ship! With the exception of Solarium Bistro/Samba Grill, all the other specialty restaurants are windowless enclaves inside the ship.

The rolls they make are very good. The complimentary edamame and miso soup, paired with a specialty roll or two makes an excellent lunch.

More on what they are TERRIBLE at in the dinner review!

Park Cafe- Ate here the first day. I had the roast beef. It's been covered ad nauseum around here. It's good. Not much to say that hasn't already been said. An excellent complimentary option.

Rita's Cantina- A nice idea, but the execution left a little something to be desired. The chips and salsa were good (but that's not exactly setting the bar too high). I got the steak fajitas. Good amount of meat, nice looking peppers and onions... But, instead of it being cooked on a flat top, like every other time you'll ever have this, the peppers and onions, as well as the sliced steak have been roasted... So, they weren't bad, but they didn't have the little bit of caramelized goodness you normally expect on something like that. Instead they were "very warm", and all rather soggy. The reason this irked me is it's not like they aren't using these flat tops everywhere else on the ship. Heck, I could SEE the one through the window at Johnny Rockets while I was eating my "baked fajita"!

Next Up: DINNER!

DINNER:

CHOPS-

I ate here the first night, and then the last two (I was supposed to go back to 150 Central Park one of those nights, but, alas, the concierge is an idiot- more on the later!). I've enjoyed this venue on several ships, and while it is a bit of a let down that it no longer has an ocean view, it's a wonderful space. The service was exceptional, and the steaks are good to excellent. Obviously not at the level of the prime steakhouses we have all seen pop up on land over the past two decades. But I would put Chops on par with just about any non-"prime" land based steakhouse.

Winning Dishes: The mushroom soup- decadent!. The porterhouse- very tender and flavorful. The mud pie- 'nuff said.

Not-so-great: The appetizer souffle (the specifics are escaping me)- cheese, mushroom and basil maybe? Very heavy. Tasted more like it would have been a nice thing to spread on a cracker, rather than eat the whole thing. The New York Strip- it was good, but nothing remarkable, more gristle than the porterhouse and a little tougher. The creme brulee- they won't admit it, but they cheat on this one. It's not a true creme brulee. It's more like a custard they then put the sugar coating on the top. Much too dense and heavy.

150 CENTRAL PARK-

This is the best meal I have ever had on a ship. Totally worth the price, assuming you enjoy this type of food, and pace. I have a BIG appetite, but I always leave this place full. However, I can see if someone finds two or three of the five courses not to their liking, they may be lacking. For the price, I think it's great. HOWEVER, if you know up front that there are at least two coursed you're not going to like, look elsewhere.

GIOVANNI’S TABLE-

I think all the buzz about lunch being a good deal has made this place crazier in the daytime than at night. I really enjoyed this, particularly because it was the one night I ate outside. We had just set sail out of St. Maarten that day, and it was perfect weather with a nice breeze. I got a nice table for two right under a tree, and had a wonderful dinner while enjoying some live music.

They encourage people to enjoy this restaurant "family style", but that's a tall order when you're a part of one LOL!

Winning Dish: The Veal Ossobucco. Tender, flavorful, with a great polenta and a rich reduction sauce. Outstanding.

Not-so-great: Sadly, the tiramisu! The piece I got was more of a "pile" than a piece. Way too soupy, and mostly whipped layers, lacking cake layers. Not sure if that was indicative of the product, or just poor plating by the staff.

IZUMI-

GRRRRR!!!!!! I hate when a restaurant ruins things for stupid reasons! I get the logistical and financial constraints put on them because of being on a ship. But the things they don't do well wouldn't cost any more money to do well.

Let me start with the winning dishes: As mentioned in the lunch reviews, it's all about the rolls. Nice variety, and good flavor combinations. I would make these a whole meal if I went for dinner.

One aside: Personally, I'm not going to jump at the sashimi or classic sushi here. It's okay, but it can't compare to the uber-fresh stuff we can all get on land. I'm not one of those alarmists who thinks it's unsafe because it's not fresh (seriously, RCI wouldn't be that stupid). The problem for me is that when fish isn't as fresh, it also isn't as flavorful. So, while it's good, it's nothing special.

Not-So-Great: EVERYTHING ELSE!!!!

The "hot rock" dishes. Okay this is a cute gimmick. And people go for it. Too bad the end result is a shockingly dull dish. Really? An unseasoned piece of beef, chicken or seafood is going to make you go "WOW!", simply because you cooked it yourself? Personally, when I go out to dinner, I prefer someone else to do the work for me, and hopefully they'll think about adding some flavor. Here is where this could be better. I get people like the gimmick of cooking it table side on the hot rock. But how about, I don't know, MARINATED beef or chicken? Even drowning it in the sauces they provide, it's still rather unremarkable. I will give this one a slight pass though, because people seem to eat up the gimmick enough that it's working for them.

As for the "hot pots". If I ever get to meet the executive team that green-lighted this approach, I will not be responsible for my actions.

I got the sukiyaki. And they were SO CLOSE to getting this one right, but so tragically off the mark, it boggles the mind. Classically, this is a very flavorful broth (and that they did well), with a variety of included items- noodles, tofu, vegetables (also done correctly), to which one adds beef or seafood. The idea is to use the very hot broth to quickly flavor and cook either the delicate seafood, or what is traditionally thin sliced beef. I ordered mine with beef, and I was warned it would take 15-20 minutes. I thought, good things are worth waiting for! and ordered it.

**Notice** One of the fatal flaws of Izumi is the lack of a real kitchen. They make the sashimi, sushi and rolls right at the sushi counter. And they have the hot rock trays all ready to go, with the stones in an oven. After that, it all has to come out of the main Windjammer kitchen. This is a HUGE miss, as there are so many things they could easily to well to expand this menu if only that had an actual kitchen.

So, my sukiyaki finally arrives, and there is one covered bowl and a side of rice. I was a bit surprised not to see the sliced beef waiting to be put in. After all, at the next table, there was a whole bunch of raw beef and seafood being served with hot stones. When I opened the top, to my dismay, I found about a 3/4 inch thick hunk of beef sitting in the very VERY hot broth. It had clearly been in the the entire time, and now had the consistency (and I imagine flavor) of shoe leather!

The second area they dropped the ball was with the egg. Like the beef or seafood, traditionally, you can choose to have a raw egg in a dish on the side. you scramble the egg, and then as you take the very hot contents out of the broth, you quickly dip them in the egg. It adds a nice sweet hint to the outside. Well, they offer the egg, can you guess where it was? That's right, one whole egg, dropped into the broth, evidently also when they started cooking. Ever poach an egg for twenty minutes? Yeah, not pretty.

This dish was so maddening to me because I'm not asking them to spend any more money or even time on it. I was just disappointed that it couldn't be executed properly.

The end result was a bowl of very hot sukiyaki broth with vegetables and tofu. And a hunk of dry, overcooked beef, and an egg that was truly offensive.

SAMBA GRILL- I have to say, this one rather impressed me. I have been to a number of churascarria's on land, and I was a little suspect. But it exceeded my expectations. First, it's a truly beautiful space. If you have only been to the solarium bistro during the day, you are missing out. between the table treatments, the lighting, the glass, and the little "waterways", it's possibly the nicest dining space on the ship. One of the other treats (in STARK contrast to Giovanni's Table) is the ample about of space. The tables really seem to be spread out nicely.

Winning Dish: The Meats! I was truly surprised. Knowing they cannot cook over an open flame, I didn't know what to expect. But they were all quite good, very flavorful, juicy and hot. Also quite plentiful! You won't leave hungry.

Not-So-Great: The "sides" They have a nice selection of salads and roasted vegetables, etc... set up at the buffet as starters. Then, the side dish they bring when you are ready for the meat, is french fries and way overcooked corn on the cob. Meh...

OVERALL DINING IMPRESSIONS:

As someone who "lives to eat", rather than "eats to live", I LOVE my food. And while I wouldn't for a moment argue that this is world class cuisine, I also didn't pay anything CLOSE to the prices I would expect to for world class cuisine.

So long as I can have the variety of specialty dining I have on Allure and Oasis, this foodie can make himself more than content for a week!

Next Up: ITINERARY and PORTS!

ITINERARY and PORTS

I have concluded this is not my favorite itinerary for multiple reasons: First, I don't like the pace- a seven day cruise with only three ports is a bit thin. But even worse is having port days on days 1, 3, and 4. Meaning the trip concludes with two days at sea. I much preferred the reverse itinerary when I first sailed Oasis, where we finished with Nassau. I can't remember if that was the last full day or if there was a sea day afterwards. But there definitely weren't two!

As for the ports, I'm fairly ambivalent. I've been all over the Caribbean. And if I'm going to an island for three days or more, I'm going to enjoy it. But most of the ports have limited offerings for an eight hour visit.

NASSAU:

Cruising into Nassau as a Port is liking cruising into Worcester, Massachusetts; Joliet, Illinois; Scranton, Pennsylvania; or the like. They're all perfectly fine places, but there's a reason they're not tops on anyone's "sights-to-see" list!

In Nassau, you have two options, choose an excursion, or stay on the ship. Let's face it, every port in the islands is exactly the same when you immediately step off the ship. The "Port" has a marketplace, all full of the same jewelry, booze and junk. Well, in Nassau, wander beyond that, and you're not exactly in paradise.

ST. THOMAS:

One of my favorite islands, mostly because of great memories for a few trips there. However, sailing into Crown Bay is very different than sailing into Havensight. First, it's, well, ugly! The pier is tucked into a cove with a boat repair yard on one side, and a lot of industrial areas on the other. Not much to look at. Second, there is nothing there. It's a bit too far to walk to downtown, and there is NOWHERE To rent a car or a scooter (anyone looking for a business opportunity? head to Crown Bay and start renting vehicles!). So, basically you have to take a cab either downtown or to one of the sights (Megens Bay, etc...). I much prefer sailing into Havensight.

Not realizing I couldn't rent a car or scooter until I was already off the ship and all the way through the crap mall, I jumped in a taxi to downtown. I spent about a half hour wandering, grabbed a Bushwacker and a Corona, and hopped a cab back to the ship!

A note on shopping. It amazes me how so many people eat this stuff up. Seriously, between Charlotte-Amalie and Phillipsburg, there have to be 150 stores that are selling the same stuff. I think the funny thing that most people don't realize is that most of them are all owned by the same company (in which the cruise lines have a large financial interest). Maybe it was different a generation ago, but I really don't see anything special in most of the shops. Clearly, I'm in the minority however!

ST. MAARTEN:

Unlike St. Thomas, this is a great port for renting a car. I walked up to the Hertz desk with no reservation, and ten minutes later I was driving off with a compact for the day for a whopping $35!. St. Maarten is small enough that you can literally tour the island and make it back to the boat with ease. Better yet, you don't even need a map. When it's time to go back, just look for signs for "Phillipsburg", and then look for the GIANT CRUISE SHIP!

Took a ride around the whole island. Took one of the mountain pass roads over toward the airport and got some great pics of Mullet Bay. Then rode through Marigot, and over to Grand Case. I LOVE the French side! It's a world away from the Dutch Side. I was after a casual lunch, so had some great barbecued chicken from one of the Lo-Los on the beach at Grand Case. After that, I grabbed some goodies at one of the French Markets (the only shopping on the whole trip!), and headed back to the ship.

Other than that, not a lot to say about the ports. I pick my cruises based more on the timing and the ship than the ports. After a while, they're all the same LOL!

Next Up: CUSTOMER SERVICE!

CUSTOMER SERVICE

The crew is fantastic. They are friendly, engaging, and work really hard to make things as pleasant as possible. Having said that, I still lament the "structure" of management the cruise lines utilize. Basically, everything is per a pre-planned policy, and there is no deviating from that. You can talk to the most junior member of the laundry staff, or the hotel manager, and none are really in a position of authority to do anything about anything. Because all the actual big decision makers aren't sailing, but sitting in an office in Florida.

This is only really evident when there is a problem, an issue, or a special request. Case in point was my dining experience at 150 Central Park. I dined there the second night and loved it. As is usually the case, the room is never full. This is because they limit the number of guests not to what the dining room can hold, but to what the staff and kitchen can handle. This makes sense, and it's good practice, in order to maintain a quality product and experience.

While dining there on Monday night, I commented to the waiter how much I enjoyed it and that perhaps I should return of Friday or Saturday to try the other menu. He smiled and said "absolutely! We can always fit in an additional single diner!" With that, I stopped by the concierge (big MISTAKE!, more in them later) Tuesday and said I would like to cancel my Izumi reservation for Friday night and book 150 Central Park at either 7:30 or 8:00. He smiled that docile smile that I later realized in no way correlated to his willingness or ability to do anything, and said he would take care of it and leave me a message. Tuesday came and went. No Message. Wednesday came and went. No Message. Thursday came and went. No Message. So, Thursday, I went to the source and inquired at 150 Central Park. They had no information about it. No worries I thought, I told her what a wonderful time I had on Monday, and that at the waiters advice, I would like to return Friday night for dinner. She said she had nothing, but that she should be able to add me "no problem" and she would confirm by phone the next day.

So, come Friday afternoon, I receive a message saying the only time she can possibly get me in is 6:00pm. I walked down there and thought maybe if I ask nicely. No dice. The "system" literally will not allow her to book it at any other time. I tried reasoning with her. "Look, it's a fixed menu, and I'm going to do the wine pairing. You know you'll have empty tables. And you know if I was a party of three and showed up with four, you'd get me in". She acknowledged this and apologized. She said I was right! But the "system" wouldn't allow her to do it. In my eyes, that's a terrible system.

Now I am not asking for anything crazy, but I feel like I am a pretty darn good customer. I book a Grand Suite for one. I dine specialty dining every night and just about every lunch. I gamble a considerable amount. I spend good money in the spa. And I buy more than my share of drinks (maybe I shouldn't brag about that one!). In other words, they are DEFINITELY making their target $$$ on me. In any other setting, I would be seen with enough high regard that SOMEONE would be able to help me out. of course, not on RCI. The "System" is in charge.

So, instead, I returned to Chops both Friday and Saturday. Ironically before and after dining both nights, I walked into 1500 Central Park. How did it look all four times That's right, less than half full.

I totally respect that the staff on board is doing their job as they have been instructed. My beef is with the corporate thought process that this level of cookie-cutter customer service is really the best way to go. I feel someone on board should be empowered to help things out a bit.

THE CONCIERGES

I made a mistake. After spending 15 minutes with the concierge as mentioned above, only to have him do nothing, I forgot to consider that he might be COMPLETELY incompetent. So, after enjoying my dinner in Chops on Friday night, I noticed there was a fee from Izumi as well. That's right, not only did he not make my 150 Central Park reservation, but he never cancelled Izumi. I went Saturday morning to see him. He greeted me with the big, docile smile. And then he had a somewhat nervous look. I asked what happened and he said "I called and they didn't answer at 150". I decided to let that one go. I asked "but you didn't cancel Izumi". He said "I know, I thought you might still want to go, since I never got anyone at 150". Of course, he never bothered to relay this back to me. Needless to say after a good 20 minutes with him on the phone with heaven only knows who, he finally got the charge reversed.

My other beef with the concierges is their ridiculous daily phone calls. It's not actually a phone call, but rather a generic, rambling voice mail that appeared at 7am most days. I don't need a long winded message telling me about things I already know about or definitely don't care about. And as silly as it sounds, two of the mornings, it was the flashing light that woke me up!

A concierge should be an unobtrusive asset. The concierge on Allure was more of an incompetent bull in a china shop!

CUSTOMER SERVICE "Feedback"

I get it. RCI loves to get feedback. They give every guest a survey to fill out. But if I have to listen to one more cabin steward go on and on about how important it is, I'm going to lose it. I run a business, and I want feedback. I encourage it through a number of channels. But there is a saturation point. You ask for too much and you're going to either get garbage, or you're going to have people like me who simply disengage in the process. My breaking point was the "Royal Wow" cards they now hand you AT THE PORT, when you receive your Seapass. This of course comes with another longwinded diatribe of how important this information is blah, blah, blah. Leave the cards in my stateroom with the voluminous other materials you provide and I'll look at it. But when they beat the dead horse to the point that it seems like doing it is somehow my "responsibility" I find it a bit offensive. My "responsibility" is to pay the appropriate charges, provide the appropriate gratuity, and treat other passengers,staff and crew with dignity and respect. It is RCI's responsibility to maintain a high level of customer service, and to evaluate and improve their staff. IF they receive some feedback in the process, great. But to make it sound like this is the only way is lazy. End result: My "Royal Wow" cards and my survey are immediately placed in the trash.

Next Up: Onboard Experiences!

ONBOARD EXPERIENCES

I LOVE this ship! I continue to marvel at just about every aspect. I spent very little time off the ship (never got off in Nassau, only an hour in St. Thomas, and maybe 4 hours off in St. Maarten). And I could have stayed on longer.

SPA: One of the nicer shipboard facilities. Although I'm not crazy about the layout. I think they're trying to make it feel larger than it is by spreading it out. Check in on deck 6, wander down a hall and then down a spiral staircase to deck 5 to check in again. Then a small locker room/changing area (this left a bit to be desired). The relaxation room was quite nice. But then, when the massage therapist came to get me, it was back UPSTAIRS, down the hall and finally into the treatment room.

The room was nice, and the therapist was excellent. I told her up front that I had products I use at home, and while she could feel free to use whatever she wanted to, I was not likely to purchase. I would be happy to have her tell me about what she used when we were finished, but I strongly prefer a quiet environment without conversation to relax during my massage. She understood and obliged.

The massage was wonderful, with the exception of some "cardinal sins". She noticed as we entered the room that her previous client had left a bracelet in the room, so she took it to the desk. that was smart. Unfortunately, it didn't prevent someone from coming and "KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!" on the door ten minutes into the massage. It was another staff member. The woman had come back for it, and she came to check! Now, even IF she hadn't left it at the front desk, and it really was in the treatment room, a service in progress should NEVER be interrupted. Worse yet, we're on a ship for another six days! It's not like the previous client is heading out of town! In that situation, even if they didn't know it was at the front desk, they should have told the person "the therapist is in a session right now and we can't disturb them. But we will check as soon as she is done and have it delivered to your stateroom". You NEVER interrupt a treatment.

The second cardinal sin was noise. They were restocking a bunch of displays in the hallway right outside the exam room, and for a good fifteen minutes you could hear loud voices, laughter and boxes and plastic being ripped and crushed. Really? The spa is open certain hours and they couldn't possibly do that at another time?

CASINO

I have to give the casino staff credit. They are always quite friendly, but this was probably the most professional staff I have ever encountered on a ship based casino. Usually the dealers, while pleasant, are very amateur. These dealers were wonderful!

As for the casino itself, I think they have a good setup with a smoking and non-smoking side. Is it perfect? No. There is still some smokiness on the non-smoking side. But it's less than I have ever encountered in any non-smoking area of any land based casino. So, unless the only place you ever play is a completely non-smoking casino (i.e. Celebrity, etc..), then there is really nothing to complain about.

I played blackjack, mostly at the $25 and up level. I don't like playing less than that on board for two reasons: First, the tables are set up for up to NINE players, and that is just brutal. Second: Cruises tend to attract much more casual gamblers who lack knowledge of the game. Now, I never care what move someone makes. Want to split tens? Take a hit on 14 against a dealer 6? Fine, your money. And at that low limit ($5-10), you're not going to affect my performance in the long run anyway. What drive me nuts are the people who don't know what to do, so every time it gets to be their turn, that action stops while they discuss it with their friends, other players, the dealer. And the other part is that there is always the invariable uptight idiot who thinks that improper play is going to be the downfall of humanity. So WHEN the unexperienced player doesn't follow basic strategy, the uptight idiot stars whining and complaining about it.

So, the $25 option works a lot better!

All in all, they busted me! I was up a good amount early in the week, but I slowly gave it all back. Oh well! Good times...

SHOWS/PERFORMANCES

I saw the first half of Chicago. It was excellent, but I was exhausted and snuck out! I didn't see any of the other big production shows, but everyone raves about them. The comedy club was good, but I don't love their format. They really have made it like a club. And to that end, they've set it up in a fashion where once the show starts, there is no entry. And if you leave, you can't come back in. In my opinion, this is a bit silly. Perhaps a better layout would allow unobtrusive comings and goings. After all, I might not want to see the entire hour, and maybe I want to pop in after it starts and see if it's worthwhile. This happens on other ships when the comedian is in the main theater. But not on Oasis or Allure.

I LOVED the Jazz club. It's truly one of the forgotten gems. It's never terribly busy, always ample comfortable seating. Great attentive drink service. And LIVE JAZZ! What more could you want?

Dreamworks character appearances, parades, etc.... I managed to go the entire week without encountering any of these things. A simple win! :)

Next Up: Pools/Pool Deck

POOLS/POOL DECK

There are ALWAY chairs available on Allure and Oasis. Even midday at sea, there are still stacks of chairs available on deck 16, overlooking the pool. Are you always going to find a chair right next to the pool? No. Might you have to walk for 20-30 seconds (gasp!) to get to or from the pool? Yep!

They make a lot of announcements about not holding chairs, and that items will be removed after 30 minutes. I never saw items being removed. However, I also never saw a time when NO chairs were available.

The pools themselves are good sized, although they certainly do get quite crowded at peak times. No surprise there though. The solarium is great, but it can get very HOT if there isn't much of a breeze.

Drink service poolside was always prompt.

I could go for having them tone down the music- not the live stuff, that's okay. But if there isn't a band playing, just turn the music down a bit. If I want to listen to something on my ipod, I shouldn't have to deal with it being drowned out by Lionel Ritchie's "All Night Long!". There is a happy medium where music provides a nice atmosphere, but doesn't interfere with personal listening. The music on the pool deck was about 10-15% beyond this point. Fortunately, it wasn't in the solarium.

Next up: A word about cigars and smoking!

CIGARS AND SMOKING

There is another review of this sailing that comes down hard on indoor smoke. (http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1703727) As an ex smoker for ten years, I too am not a fan of smoke. However, I personally did not have an experience anything like the other review.

There are a number of indoor smoking venues. Most notably, the casino (one side only), and Boleros. Basically, I didn’t go to Boleros. When there are a good number of people there, it’s too smoky for me. However, as mentioned in my review of the casino above, I never had a problem with smoke “drifting” over to the non smoking side. Could I smell it on occasion? Of course! But like I said, it’s the least smoky casino I’ve ever been in, aside from those that are truly smoke free.

I used the gym every day and never noticed any smokiness. It was usually rather lively in there, and I never heard anyone else complain either.

I cannot comment about the dining room per se, however, in between the dining room and the casino is a large area, including the stairwells and elevators. Then, there is a long corridor to the entrance of the DR. I never smelled smoke in those areas, so I’m really not sure how bad it could have been in the MDR.

All in all, I feel the other review is unduly harsh about the smoking situation.

Traditionally, they say cigar smoking is on the suite deck (deck 17 above solarium) in the evenings. However, four of the seven nights, they actually did it at the solarium bar on deck 16. This was a MUCH better venue for it, as most of deck 17 is far to windy at night. There is still ample breeze on deck 16 so as not to have the smoke be bothersome. Truth be told, even on deck 16, there's rarely more than three or four "groups" of smokers. I say groups, because you might see four individuals smoking, or you might encounter a group of eight. But it's never a large amount. I spoke with the bartender and he said they much prefer doing it there, because there isn't really enough volume to justify keeping the bar open on 17. However, several nights there are events in the solarium or solarium bar that preclude them from doing it there. Overall, a big improvement over deck 17.

Next Up: The All Access Tour!

ALL ACCESS TOUR

I did this on Friday morning, and it was FANTASTIC! It's not cheap- $150 per person. But I really enjoyed it. Every venue had a senior member of that department give show us around and tell us about it. Here's the rundown of what we did:

Start in Dining Room on Deck 5. Tour Galleys on all three decks (5,4 and 3). Saw the entire main kitchens including the very impressive bakery (4,000 rolls an hour!).

Then, down to deck to to general stores. This is forward area where all the foodstuffs and other supplies are loaded, stored and distributed. Saw the dry food storage, Dairy fridge, Meat freezer, Seafood freezer, and several other areas.

Then the the environmental center and incinerator room.

Then to the engine room. Impressive to see that the ship is, for the most part, really run from a windowless control room on deck two, and not the bridge.

Then, we walked the length of I-95, and headed down to deck 1, and then deck 0 to see the laundry operation.

Then, back up to deck two, through the crew mess, up to a crew lounge on deck 3 (I think). This is their dance club, called the Venetian. And no, it in no way makes me think of Venice!

The Venetian connects right to the theater dressing rooms and backstage area, we went through these next.

After this, it was up to Deck 6 for the most popular crew bar. It's called the Britto Bar, because when Britto was aboard for the innaugeral, he saw a large whit wall outside this bar, while receiving a tour, and asked if he could create a mural. He returned a few weeks later with his design, and as he sketched it out on the wall, he had a variety of crew member do the painting per his instruction. So, there is a large original Britto mural at the entrance. Hence the name! This bar is most popular, because it's open air, so it's one of the few areas the crew can smoke!

From there, it's up a flight and we were on the helipad. What a fantastic view.

Of course, the view was topped after this, when we headed up to the bridge. It's really something. The bridge is HUGE- spanning of course, the whole width, plus the bridge wings. And for the most part, it's empty! There is a modest console in the center, and then smaller panels on each bridge wing. But otherwise, it's wide open space with floor to ceiling windows. Really impressive.

Loved the tour. I got a new appreciation for how truly massive the ship is, when I saw how much there is "back of the house". Equally impressive- like front of the house, everywhere we went was SPOTLESS.

We were led on our tour by "Key West Mike" from the cruise directors' team. And he was great.

Next Up: Overall Experience!

OVERALL EXPERIENCE

In reviewing some of my writing, it sounds negative at times. It wasn't! I had a fantastic time, and am hoping to do it again soon! I tried to give an honest review, and shared how things struck me. The more I talk about certain aspects that weren't perfect, the more negative it may sound. But it wasn't. On a scale of 1-100, with 1 being an abomination in every way, and 100 being the single most perfect (mass market) cruise ever, I would give my experience a solid 90.

A great trip for a solo cruiser! A great trip for couples! A great trip for families! A great trip for groups!

I'm sure I forgot a lot. But feel free to ask any questions, and I'll answer what I can!

Great review. Thank you for taking the time to write a review that had a slightly different twist. Loved your writing style and the format you used.

Great review,we will be onboard her in April. As I have stated to the first time cruisers going with us; you will personally have great reviews, good reviews and bad reviews. I believe it is all what you give and take. I don't let the little things bother me! Once again, thanks for the review.

Nice review - thanks so much for sharing your experiences.

Fantastic review! I'm sure you will have a lot of people volunteer to travel with you on your next solo cruise. Lol.

Raising hand. I am headed out on Allure in December. What is the process for signing up for the All Access tour?

LUNCH:

 

 

Izumi: SO MUCH BETTER FOR LUNCH THAN DINNER! Why? Because at lunch, they only serve the things they are good at, and NOT they things they are terrible at!

 

I love Izumi as well because it's one of the few places you can dine and actually realize you're on a ship! With the exception of Solarium Bistro/Samba Grill, all the other specialty restaurants are windowless enclaves inside the ship.

 

The rolls they make are very good. The complimentary edamame and miso soup, paired with a specialty roll or two makes an excellent lunch.

 

More on what they are TERRIBLE at in the dinner review!

 

 

Next Up: DINNER!

So the rocks are not offered at lunch time? I am not crazy about them, but mom loves to experience things like that.

BTW do you have any pictures you can share with us?

Thanks for the info ..

Thank you for the fabulous review. We will be sailing Allure in May. The ship tour sounds great. How long was it? We sailed the Oasis last year and would love to see I-95. Thank you again.

Alison

Great review!! One of the most well rounded honest unbiased reviews I read. Can't wait for May to come so we can have our turn.

What is the process for signing up for the All Access tour?

Thank you for the fabulous review. We will be sailing Allure in May. The ship tour sounds great. How long was it? We sailed the Oasis last year and would love to see I-95. Thank you again.

Alison

Go to the guest services desk to sign up. NOT the tours and excursions desk.

The tour lasts about 3 hours. It took place on Friday (second to last sea day) morning, starting at 9.

So the rocks are not offered at lunch time? I am not crazy about them, but mom loves to experience things like that.

 

BTW do you have any pictures you can share with us?

No, they do not offer the hot rocks at lunch. One of the oddities, is lunch is almost exclusively seafood. So, if you aren't a seafood person, lunch at Izumi is a no-go.

I'm also curious about the All Access Tour. Does the Oasis of the Seas have the same tour? Is it only open to guests staying in Grand Suites and above? I'll be in a Junior Suite on my upcoming cruise on Oasis, and I know the junior suites do not have the concierge benefit... I'm hoping that I might book a tour like this. Thanks for your in-depth review! It was really good reading! :)

Glad to hear the luggage tag situation is being handled well. I was on Allure when it was just a few months old and will be returning 2 years later. I don't know if you mentioned it yet, does she show any sign of wear? Looked pretty well kept up? Any changes in 2 years?