Crazy cruise critic parents?

[Blk_Amish]

I was exaggerating!

 

Which is why a teen might read this board and think parents are crazy. The exaggeration, the over the top fears, and contradictions in what they can but can't do. Some of us here are current parent of teens and we know the reality of it. We know what it's like to prepare them to drive, move away to college, and spend time around the opposite sex not just daughters but our sons. I thought having 2 boys would be easier then my son's senior year hits (kindergarten actually) with girls that my mama never told me about and frankly I never told him about. Some here are raising TEENS and technically you don't have kids at the age where roaming should be a consideration. We are on the same ship (being parents) but completely different decks. You really don't have a rooster in this ccok fight, so to speak.

Edited December 19, 2013 by Blk_Amish

[Warm Breezes]

Which is why a teen might read this board and think parents are crazy. The exaggeration, the over the top fears, and contradictions in what they can but can't do. Some of us here are current parent of teens and we know the reality of it. We know what it's like to prepare them to drive, move away to college, and spend time around the opposite sex not just daughters but our sons. I thought having 2 boys would be easier then my son's senior year hits (kindergarten actually) with girls that my mama never told me about and frankly I never told him about. Some here are raising TEENS and technically you don't have kids at the age where roaming should be a consideration. We are on the same ship (being parents) but completely different decks. You really don't have a rooster in this ccok fight, so to speak.

 

I agree. CruiseAddict1982 should come back and talk to us when she has a teenager she is attempting to put a stranglehold on. Hold them too tight and chances are they will rebel and lose respect for your rules. Give them freedoms appropriate for their age as they grow up, making them aware of dangers and consequences, and chances are they not only will thank you for preparing them for the real world and trusting their judgement...they will respect you and the reasonable rules you set as well. This comes from my experience raising a 17 and 19 year old who respect me and my rules....and while I worry about them as all parents do, I trust in their judgements and I know that I have prepared them as much as I can in becoming safe and functioning adults.

Edited December 19, 2013 by Warm Breezes

[CruiseAddict1982]

I agree. CruiseAddict1982 should come back and talk to us when she has a teenager she is attempting to put a stranglehold on. Hold them too tight and chances are they will rebel and lose respect for your rules. Give them freedoms appropriate for their age as they grow up, making them aware of dangers and consequences, and chances are they not only will thank you for preparing them for the real world and trusting their judgement...they will respect you and the reasonable rules you set as well. This comes from my experience raising a 17 and 19 year old who respect me and my rules....and while I worry about them as all parents do, I trust in their judgements and I know that I have prepared them as much as I can in becoming safe and functioning adults.

 

Nothing wrong with your parenting style, but don't judge me because I write a few things u don't like so you assume what type of parent I am. I'm actually a FATHER of 2 boys as well as a police officer. On CRUISES since this is what the thread is about I will not allow my kids to roam by themselves. It's not them I don't trust, it's the thousands of other people I know nothing about. Lets stick to cruises since this is what the thread is about. If I'm crazy for wanting to protect my kids on board a ship since that's what the thread is about then I guess I'm crazy. Just a dads point of view that's aware of crime more than others since it's my profession.

[CruiseAddict1982]

I agree. CruiseAddict1982 should come back and talk to us when she has a teenager she is attempting to put a stranglehold on. Hold them too tight and chances are they will rebel and lose respect for your rules. Give them freedoms appropriate for their age as they grow up, making them aware of dangers and consequences, and chances are they not only will thank you for preparing them for the real world and trusting their judgement...they will respect you and the reasonable rules you set as well. This comes from my experience raising a 17 and 19 year old who respect me and my rules....and while I worry about them as all parents do, I trust in their judgements and I know that I have prepared them as much as I can in becoming safe and functioning adults.

 

Under my care they will follow my rules. At work we all follow rules even the dumb ones that don't seen to make sense. That's life. Even when they become teenagers they will not roam a cruise ship by themselves. Me not allowing them to roam a cruise ship once a year will not be the end of their life and doesn't make me a bad parent. Stick to the thread question since it's only about cruise ships. There is no way to contact a teen on a cruise ship unless you have a walkie talkie if it works well. If they need your help, how would you find them? Have you ever heard a child cry out for their parents??

 

My point is teens are going to do what they want whether you teach them, pray for them, coddle them etc! Unless you have the blueprint for a child that makes the right decision most of the of time when the parents aren't around then don't judge anyone's parenting.

[CruiseAddict1982]

I agree. CruiseAddict1982 should come back and talk to us when she has a teenager she is attempting to put a stranglehold on. Hold them too tight and chances are they will rebel and lose respect for your rules. Give them freedoms appropriate for their age as they grow up, making them aware of dangers and consequences, and chances are they not only will thank you for preparing them for the real world and trusting their judgement...they will respect you and the reasonable rules you set as well. This comes from my experience raising a 17 and 19 year old who respect me and my rules....and while I worry about them as all parents do, I trust in their judgements and I know that I have prepared them as much as I can in becoming safe and functioning adults.

 

Lol a teen calling parents "crazy" is acceptable since that teen isn't a parent and has no idea what it is to be a parent, but me answering hypothetically since I have kids that aren't quite teens yet isn't acceptable? Makes sense to me. Lol (another exaggeration)

[Blk_Amish]

Under my care they will follow my rules. At work we all follow rules even the dumb ones that don't seen to make sense. That's life. Even when they become teenagers they will not roam a cruise ship by themselves. Me not allowing them to roam a cruise ship once a year will not be the end of their life and doesn't make me a bad parent. Stick to the thread question since it's only about cruise ships. There is no way to contact a teen on a cruise ship unless you have a walkie talkie if it works well. If they need your help, how would you find them? Have you ever heard a child cry out for their parents??

 

My point is teens are going to do what they want whether you teach them, pray for them, coddle them etc! Unless you have the blueprint for a child that makes the right decision most of the of time when the parents aren't around then don't judge anyone's parenting.

 

Your teen MIGHT but in certain areas I can gaurantee that's not the case with mine. Having me post on their facebook wall is a reality they don't want to deal with, CONSEQUENCE. If I ever wake up and feel that way about my teens then I would consider myself a failure as a parent. It would mean they have no repsect for me, this is not to say they are always going to do as I wish or hope. There are ceartin lines I did not cross with my parents and so far my kids haven't crossed with me.

 

We accept that our teens might not always make the right decesion but we give them the skills of how to handle things in bad situations (land or sea), when we are not around. My kids don't always have phone previdge so many times there is no way to contact us, so they are kind of used to that. Real life preparing them for cruise week.

Edited December 19, 2013 by Blk_Amish

[Blk_Amish]

Lol a teen calling parents "crazy" is acceptable since that teen isn't a parent and has no idea what it is to be a parent, but me answering hypothetically since I have kids that aren't quite teens yet isn't acceptable? Makes sense to me. Lol (another exaggeration)

 

No because good or bad it helps no one. That's like spending the lottery in case you win it.

 

Some parents are crazy and proud because the teens know if they cross certain line we can rock their world or take away the car and let then walk home up hill both ways in the snow.

Edited December 19, 2013 by Blk_Amish

[Warm Breezes]

Nothing wrong with your parenting style, but don't judge me because I write a few things u don't like so you assume what type of parent I am. I'm actually a FATHER of 2 boys as well as a police officer. On CRUISES since this is what the thread is about I will not allow my kids to roam by themselves. It's not them I don't trust, it's the thousands of other people I know nothing about. Lets stick to cruises since this is what the thread is about. If I'm crazy for wanting to protect my kids on board a ship since that's what the thread is about then I guess I'm crazy. Just a dads point of view that's aware of crime more than others since it's my profession.

 

I apologize for the she when you are a he :o. However I was in no way judging you. I was just expressing my opinion based on my experiences raising teenagers and watching my friends go through that the experience and watching my kids friends growing up to be teens. I have watched teenagers rebel and I have seen the loss of respect for the parents and the parents loss of trust in the kids when the appropriate freedoms were not given and the rules were too strict for the situation. I have also seen the opposite when the freedoms were given too early and there were no rules set or consequences followed through on. Both cases led to troubled relationships between parents and teens with little trust or respect for each other.

 

We tried to keep a happy medium. There were always rules in place with consequences followed through on....but as they proved themselves to be responsible and making good decisions, the freedoms were earned and given. We made them aware of the dangers out there and we set rules that had their safety in mind....but we did not allow fear to restrict the freedom they needed to grow and mature. It is a delicate balance that will be different for each child.

 

My kids are now 16 and 19 and have been on 10 cruises since they were 4 and 7. Before 12 the only places they went without us was to the kids club, which was rare because they didn't like it and would rather hang with us. They weren't left to run loose all by themselves at 12. But they were allowed to go to/from places with each other with us knowing where they were going. They were allowed by themselves at 15-16. But they had curfews they didn't need because they were usually with us by their choice to eat dinner and see the shows. Their rules included staying in public areas (we always got rooms near the stairwells so they didn't have to walk past hallways of rooms), not going into anyone elses rooms and not allowing anyone else in their room, not leaving their drinks unattended and not accepting drinks from anyone else, and we always were to know where the other party was and if that changed the other party needed to be informed (went for teens and adults). I didn't need rules about not running or being loud....my kids both have an inherited need to not embarrass themselves and this is something they would see as embarrassing.

 

My way may not work for everyone, kids and families are different. However it has worked wonderfully for us. You may have a job as a policeman but you have yet to experience the joys of raising a teen. I was sharing what I have learned from my experiences in raising 2 great teens who respect me and who I trust. I honestly can't remember the last time I raised my voice to either of them for anything more than getting their chores done when they had fallen behind...Are they perfect? No. But we've only had to deal with little things that never turned into big things because of the respect, trust, and communication we have with each other.

 

Raise your kids as you see fit, that is your choice and I will not judge you for it. But don't necessarily turn a deaf ear to all the advice others give to you from their actual experiences in raising teens....being a parent is not the same as being a police officer.

[CruiseAddict1982]

Your teen MIGHT but in certain areas I can gaurantee that's not the case with mine. Having me post on their facebook wall is a reality they don't want to deal with, CONSEQUENCE. If I ever wake up and feel that way about my teens then I would consider myself a failure as a parent. It would mean they have no repsect for me, this is not to say they are always going to do as I wish or hope. There are ceartin lines I did not cross with my parents and so far my kids haven't crossed with me.

 

We accept that our teens might not always make the right decesion but we give them the skills of how to handle things in bad situations (land or sea), when we are not around. My kids don't always have phone previdge so many times there is no way to contact us, so they are kind of used to that. Real life preparing them for cruise week.

 

You can't guarantee anything unless you're everywhere your kid is which nobody is.

[Warm Breezes]

Lol a teen calling parents "crazy" is acceptable since that teen isn't a parent and has no idea what it is to be a parent, but me answering hypothetically since I have kids that aren't quite teens yet isn't acceptable? Makes sense to me. Lol (another exaggeration)

 

 

Actually that teen is in a parent/teen relationship that has rules, respect and trust. It is that relationship that forms her opinion on "crazy parents" who are so different from her own parents and the rules that work for her family. It is based on real experiences and not a hypothetical situation.

[CruiseAddict1982]

I apologize for the she when you are a he :o. However I was in no way judging you. I was just expressing my opinion based on my experiences raising teenagers and watching my friends go through that the experience and watching my kids friends growing up to be teens. I have watched teenagers rebel and I have seen the loss of respect for the parents and the parents loss of trust in the kids when the appropriate freedoms were not given and the rules were too strict for the situation. I have also seen the opposite when the freedoms were given too early and there were no rules set or consequences followed through on. Both cases led to troubled relationships between parents and teens with little trust or respect for each other.

 

We tried to keep a happy medium. There were always rules in place with consequences followed through on....but as they proved themselves to be responsible and making good decisions, the freedoms were earned and given. We made them aware of the dangers out there and we set rules that had their safety in mind....but we did not allow fear to restrict the freedom they needed to grow and mature. It is a delicate balance that will be different for each child.

 

My kids are now 16 and 19 and have been on 10 cruises since they were 4 and 7. Before 12 the only places they went without us was to the kids club, which was rare because they didn't like it and would rather hang with us. They weren't left to run loose all by themselves at 12. But they were allowed to go to/from places with each other with us knowing where they were going. They were allowed by themselves at 15-16. But they had curfews they didn't need because they were usually with us by their choice to eat dinner and see the shows. Their rules included staying in public areas (we always got rooms near the stairwells so they didn't have to walk past hallways of rooms), not going into anyone elses rooms and not allowing anyone else in their room, not leaving their drinks unattended and not accepting drinks from anyone else, and we always were to know where the other party was and if that changed the other party needed to be informed (went for teens and adults). I didn't need rules about not running or being loud....my kids both have an inherited need to not embarrass themselves and this is something they would see as embarrassing.

 

My way may not work for everyone, kids and families are different. However it has worked wonderfully for us. You may have a job as a policeman but you have yet to experience the joys of raising a teen. I was sharing what I have learned from my experiences in raising 2 great teens who respect me and who I trust. I honestly can't remember the last time I raised my voice to either of them for anything more than getting their chores done when they had fallen behind...Are they perfect? No. But we've only had to deal with little things that never turned into big things because of the respect, trust, and communication we have with each other.

 

Raise your kids as you see fit, that is your choice and I will not judge you for it. But don't necessarily turn a deaf ear to all the advice others give to you from their actual experiences in raising teens....being a parent is not the same as being a police officer.

 

No need to apologize. I'm listening to you, but I'm only talking about cruising since this is what the thread is about. If you want to have your kids roam the ship that's your decision and if I choose to roam with mine that's my decision. Nothing wrong with what you do and there's nothing wrong with what I do. I'm just talking about cruising here and not anything else. The main recession why they won't ever roam a ship is the contact issue. Yea I could get a walkie talkie or I assume pay roaming charges but I'll be able to sleep better knowing where my kids are. I've seen lots of things happen and it only takes one time for something to happen on a ship. I've read stories where the security and cruise ships don't really follow up and investigate like they should with crimes on ships. I don't want to put my kids at risk no matter how old they are. On a cruise that is.

[CruiseAddict1982]

Actually that teen is in a parent/teen relationship that has rules, respect and trust. It is that relationship that forms her opinion on "crazy parents" who are so different from her own parents and the rules that work for her family. It is based on real experiences and not a hypothetical situation.

 

It's more like immaturity of a teen that forms that opinion. I wouldn't call a parent crazy that doesn't allow them to do something my kid may do on a cruise. It's their decision.

[CruiseAddict1982]

Remember this thread is about cruise related parenting!! Lol nothing else.

[Blk_Amish]

You can't guarantee anything unless you're everywhere your kid is which nobody is.

 

No, it calling knowing your child, respect, and maybe a little bit of fear. Getting to this point takes time, patience, communication and prayer. If I need to be there to know then I haven't done my job. One is 18 (legal adult) so I put him up as evidence:D

Edited December 19, 2013 by Blk_Amish

[CruiseAddict1982]

No, it calling knowing your child, respect and maybe a little bit of fear. Getting to this point takes time, patience, communication and prayer. If I need to be there to know then I haven't done my job. One is 18 (legal adult) so I put him up as evidence:D

 

Lol so did you tell your parents everything when you were a child? No, you've done your job, but teens don't always tell their parents everything. Yes, i don't have teens but years ago I think I was a teen myself.

 

Did I get you laugh?

[Warm Breezes]

Under my care they will follow my rules. As do my kids. At work we all follow rules even the dumb ones that don't seen to make sense. I make sure that my rules make sense and that the kids understand why I have them. That creates respect for the rules. You may follow the "dumb" rules at work but do you "respect" them? That's life. Even when they become teenagers they will not roam a cruise ship by themselves. Me not allowing them to roam a cruise ship once a year will not be the end of their life and doesn't make me a bad parent. No it doesn't. But it also does not make other parents bad that do allow it. Stick to the thread question since it's only about cruise ships. Actually how a teen is treated on a ship should be no different than how they are treated in the real world. Suddenly giving them freedom when they have none at home is trouble waiting to happen. Suddenly restricting their freedom when they have some at home will cause trouble too. There is no way to contact a teen on a cruise ship unless you have a walkie talkie if it works well. If they need your help, how would you find them? Have you ever heard a child cry out for their parents?? We don't use walkie talkies. But we have set rules to know where each other is at, for them to keep to the public areas, and to not go into others rooms or allow others in theirs. I trust them to keep those rules and they have. My DD is 16 and driving to dance 30 minutes away 3 nights a week. I am not with her 100% of the time and trust her to make the right decisions to get to dance and back safely. That trust was built up by letting her make those right decisions on her own on cruise ships and at home.

 

My point is teens are going to do what they want whether you teach them, pray for them, coddle them etc! Unless you have the blueprint for a child that makes the right decision most of the of time when the parents aren't around then don't judge anyone's parenting.

 

But if you raise those kids with meaningful rules, appropriate consequenses that are followed through on, and give them freedoms necessary for them to grow up to be capable adults...whether you are on a cruise ship or not, most will make good decisions on what they are "going to do". Yea you will have a few that won't...but my experience and those teens I have watched growing up with my kids says they will.

Edited December 19, 2013 by Warm Breezes

[Blk_Amish]

Remember this thread is about cruise related parenting!! Lol nothing else.

 

There is really no such thing as cruise related parenting, it's simply parenting. In this case parenting a teen which is differnt from one of a baby or toddler. Maybe teen parenting, oh geez, wait that is something differnt:D:eek:

[CruiseAddict1982]

But if you raise those kids with meaningful rules, appropriate consequenses that are followed through on, and give them freedoms necessary for them to grow up to be capable adults...wether you are on a cruise ship or not, most will make good decisions on what they are "going to do". Yea you will have a few that won't...but my experience and those teens I have watched growing up with my kids says they will.

 

Doesn't matter if I respect the work rules, I know they have to be followed or they'll be consequences. My kids don't have to respect or like my rules, but they will follow them or they'll be consequences. I do explain things to them because kids need that so they can understand or try to understand, but they don't get an explanation every time because in the real world you're not gonna get an explanation for everything. I didn't like my parents rules, but I followed them because I knew there were consequences. Sometimes I got an explanation and sometimes I didn't. Same thing at my job. Some people get bent out of shale when my bosses don't give explanations, but not me. Not a big deal to me I just adapt and keep it moving. I can thank my parents for that

[CruiseAddict1982]

There is really no such thing as cruise related parenting, it's simply parenting. In this case parenting a teen which is differnt from one of a baby or toddler. Maybe teen parenting, oh geez, wait that is something differnt:D:eek:

 

Well the teen who started this thread was talking about crazy cruise parents. U know the mature teen that doesn't have kids or teens!

[CruiseAddict1982]

There is really no such thing as cruise related parenting, it's simply parenting. In this case parenting a teen which is differnt from one of a baby or toddler. Maybe teen parenting, oh geez, wait that is something differnt:D:eek:

 

Yea lets not get into teen parenting! I got done ideas you guys would love to hear. Lol I'm kidding

[Warm Breezes]

There is really no such thing as cruise related parenting, it's simply parenting. In this case parenting a teen which is differnt from one of a baby or toddler. Maybe teen parenting, oh geez, wait that is something differnt:D:eek:

 

I agree. No such thing as cruise parenting just parenting. I've never treated my kids any different on a cruise than I did at home. Freedoms were earned based on their ability to follow rules and act responsibly both at home and on a ship.

[CruiseAddict1982]

I agree. No such thing as cruise parenting just parenting. I've never treated my kids any different on a cruise than I did at home. Freedoms were earned based on their ability to follow rules and act responsibly both at home and on a ship.

 

Well I would parent differently in certain environments. Some environments are safer than others so I would be more open to let my kids have more freedom in these environments. Just my opinion

[Warm Breezes]

Doesn't matter if I respect the work rules, I know they have to be followed or they'll be consequences. My kids don't have to respect or like my rules, but they will follow them or they'll be consequences. I do explain things to them because kids need that so they can understand or try to understand, but they don't get an explanation every time because in the real world you're not gonna get an explanation for everything. I didn't like my parents rules, but I followed them because I knew there were consequences. Sometimes I got an explanation and sometimes I didn't. Same thing at my job. Some people get bent out of shale when my bosses don't give explanations, but not me. Not a big deal to me I just adapt and keep it moving. I can thank my parents for that

 

That's where we differ big time. When I set rules it is for a reason and I make sure my kids know what that reason is. If they have a legitimate disagreement with those rules I am open to listening to them but I have the final word after we discuss the issues. I don't agree with blindly agreeing with rules because they are there for myself or my kids. I want my kids to be able to think about it and logically make the connections as to why the rule is there. I want them to respect the rule for what it is not because it is.

 

Same thing goes for my job. If there is a rule I don't understand or agree with I will question it. Sometimes the reasons for it make sense and I leave it be. Sometimes they don't and I will agrue it and if the issue is big enough I will leave a company because of it. I have argued rules in the past and have made my point and the rules were changed. There was also a job that I left because the rules were not changed and the issue was too big for me to stay and not compromise my own principals. I want my kids to make those kinds of decisions and question things that make no sense and not bllindly agree to the rules set by others. I didn't raise them to be that way. Having said that, DS is the biggest rule stickler you ever saw in your life. He won't even let his 16 yo sister play his Grand Theft Auto 5 because she's not 17. One of the reasons I never worried about him breaking my rules:D.

[Warm Breezes]

Well I would parent differently in certain environments. Some environments are safer than others so I would be more open to let my kids have more freedom in these environments. Just my opinion

 

What makes you so sure they are safer? Uncles, priests, teachers, coaches have all been found guilty of molesting children. Would you consider those situations when your kids are with them safer than a cruise ship?

[CruiseAddict1982]

That's where we differ big time. When I set rules it is for a reason and I make sure my kids know what that reason is. If they have a legitimate disagreement with those rules I am open to listening to them but I have the final word after we discuss the issues. I don't agree with blindly agreeing with rules because they are there for myself or my kids. I want my kids to be able to think about it and logically make the connections as to why the rule is there. I want them to respect the rule for what it is not because it is.

 

Same thing goes for my job. If there is a rule I don't understand or agree with I will question it. Sometimes the reasons for it make sense and I leave it be. Sometimes they don't and I will agrue it and if the issue is big enough I will leave a company because of it. I have argued rules in the past and have made my point and the rules were changed. There was also a job that I left because the rules were not changed and the issue was too big for me to stay and not compromise my own principals. I want my kids to make those kinds of decisions and question things that make no sense and not bllindly agree to the rules set by others. I didn't raise them to be that way. Having said that, DS is the biggest rule stickler you ever saw in your life. He won't even let his 16 yo sister play his Grand Theft Auto 5 because she's not 17. One of the reasons I never worried about him breaking my rules:D.

 

In my line of work it doesn't look good when u jump from job to job. Everything I tell my kids has a reason and it's in their best interest.