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Crazy cruise critic parents?

Cruisegirl1919

By Cruisegirl1919,
in Family Cruises

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CruiseAddict1982

CruiseAddict1982

Posted
Posted
What makes you so sure they are safer? Uncles, priests, teachers, coaches have all been found guilty of molesting children. Would you consider those situations when your kids are with them safer than a cruise ship?

 

I trust my family and I would hope none of them would hurt my kids, but no one knows for sure what other people think. Being at my sisters home who has no kids would be a safe situation. No, I wouldn't allow them to be with a priest preacher alone there would be no reason for that. There's no reason for kids to be alone with any of the people u mentioned.

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CruiseAddict1982

CruiseAddict1982

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Posted

To me, not being able to contact my kids that are roaming a ship isn't safe. Knowing that the security may or may not do a thorough investigation is also a problem for me. I'm not familiar with international laws so I don't know what laws they even follow. I read that to know that you hVe to look at the flag on the ship.

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CruiseAddict1982

CruiseAddict1982

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That's where we differ big time. When I set rules it is for a reason and I make sure my kids know what that reason is. If they have a legitimate disagreement with those rules I am open to listening to them but I have the final word after we discuss the issues. I don't agree with blindly agreeing with rules because they are there for myself or my kids. I want my kids to be able to think about it and logically make the connections as to why the rule is there. I want them to respect the rule for what it is not because it is.

 

Same thing goes for my job. If there is a rule I don't understand or agree with I will question it. Sometimes the reasons for it make sense and I leave it be. Sometimes they don't and I will agrue it and if the issue is big enough I will leave a company because of it. I have argued rules in the past and have made my point and the rules were changed. There was also a job that I left because the rules were not changed and the issue was too big for me to stay and not compromise my own principals. I want my kids to make those kinds of decisions and question things that make no sense and not bllindly agree to the rules set by others. I didn't raise them to be that way. Having said that, DS is the biggest rule stickler you ever saw in your life. He won't even let his 16 yo sister play his Grand Theft Auto 5 because she's not 17. One of the reasons I never worried about him breaking my rules:D.

 

What makes you so sure he's never broken any of your rules? You have a lie detector test in your home?

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Blk_Amish

Blk_Amish

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Posted (edited)
Well I would parent differently in certain environments. Some environments are safer than others so I would be more open to let my kids have more freedom in these environments. Just my opinion

 

Parenting can be differnt on certain days but there are certain expectations that remain the same. Without guidelines any enviroment can become unsafe. A crusie ship might never be a safe place if you have a child who needs to be watched like a hawk or be duct taped.

 

I pride myslef in having very open communication with my kids. What they haven't told me, I might be better off not hearing:D I wish you the best as your kids gets older, much joy and sometimes frustration. Father knows best!

Edited by Blk_Amish
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Warm Breezes

Warm Breezes

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In my line of work it doesn't look good when u jump from job to job. Everything I tell my kids has a reason and it's in their best interest.

 

Like I said, I only had one job I left because to follow the rules would be to compromise my principals. I will not stay at any job if my principals are being compromised. The other times when I questioned the rules they either got changed and I was respected for taking the initiative to change something that wasn't right or I was made to understand the reason behind it and respected the rule in the end.

 

Tell me, do your kids understand why what you tell them is in their best interest? In my experience, that understanding goes a long way in them respecting and following the rules I set and in respecting me for setting them. I personally think that respect and trust in a parent/teen relationship is the basis for keeping those teens making good decisions. I am not talking about being best friends with them. But I also do not bully them either. I am talking respect and trust between each other.

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CruiseAddict1982

CruiseAddict1982

Posted
Posted
Parenting can be differnt on certain days but there are certain expectations that remain the same. Without guidelines any enviroment can become unsafe. A crusie ship might never be a safe place if you have a child who needs to be watched like a hawk or be duct taped.

 

I pride myslef in having very open communication with my kids. What they haven't told me, I might be better off not hearing:D I wish you the best as your kids gets older, much joy and sometimes frustration. Father knows best!

 

Or you might need to know they just don't want to tell you. No one has to watch their kids like a hawk but it's my responsibility to keep them safe. Thank you for the kind words and ideas.

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CruiseAddict1982

CruiseAddict1982

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Like I said, I only had one job I left because to follow the rules would be to compromise my principals. I will not stay at any job if my principals are being compromised. The other times when I questioned the rules they either got changed and I was respected for taking the initiative to change something that wasn't right or I was made to understand the reason behind it and respected the rule in the end.

 

Tell me, do your kids understand why what you tell them is in their best interest? In my experience, that understanding goes a long way in them respecting and following the rules I set and in respecting me for setting them. I personally think that respect and trust in a parent/teen relationship is the basis for keeping those teens making good decisions. I am not talking about being best friends with them. But I also do not bully them either. I am talking respect and trust between each other.

 

My parents weren't best friends with me and I turned out great. My kids are too young to understand what's best for them. As they get older, will they know?? They might think they know, but I will be there to guide them in the right direction. Bullying? Lol no need to say anything about that. Trust and respect are important in any relationship. Some rules they may like and some they might not. I don't mind listening to them if they want to tell me why they disagree with a rule, but some rules don't need an explanation. If your bosses love to hear your ideas and you get things changed that's great. Unfortunately every job isn't like that and every parent isn't like that.

 

I see parents who parented the way u did with the happy medium and those kids go to jail. Parents who are very strict and those kids go to jail. There is no perfect way to parent. We all just do what we think is right and hope for the best.

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Blk_Amish

Blk_Amish

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Posted (edited)

I see parents who parented the way u did with the happy medium and those kids go to jail. Parents who are very strict and those kids go to jail. There is no perfect way to parent. We all just do what we think is right and hope for the best.

 

Sometimes it's Lord thy will be done. Being in jail might have kept them out of the grave!

 

As of today and how it realtes to this threads, I have parented 2 teens that I am proud of. Yes, at times they think I am crazy because if they cross certain lines, I am the piper they have to pay. They know I collect at home and on vacation!

Edited by Blk_Amish
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CruiseAddict1982

CruiseAddict1982

Posted
Posted
Sometimes it's Lord thy will be done. Being in jail might have kept them out of the grave!

 

As of today and how it realtes to this threads, I have parented 2 teens that I am proud of. Yes, at times they think I am crazy because if they cross certain lines, I am the piper they have to pay. They know I collect at home and on vacation!

 

I hear that! The part about the piper lol

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CruiseAddict1982

CruiseAddict1982

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Sometimes it's Lord thy will be done. Being in jail might have kept them out of the grave!

 

As of today and how it realtes to this threads, I have parented 2 teens that I am proud of. Yes, at times they think I am crazy because if they cross certain lines, I am the piper they have to pay. They know I collect at home and on vacation!

 

I've read that people that are in jail are there because their parents failed them. Can't remember where I read that

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Blk_Amish

Blk_Amish

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I've read that people that are in jail are there because their parents failed them. Can't remember where I read that

 

As an officers you know better, correct. 'Shi+" can happen sometimes despite of our best efforts. Now there is a reason not to belive everything you read:D

Edited by Blk_Amish
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Blk_Amish

Blk_Amish

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Posted (edited)
Lol didn't say I believed it, but it's possible for some but definitely not all.

 

On that we AGREE, my sister works in CPS and I with abused kids organizations. There are failures and some kids never got a break.

Edited by Blk_Amish
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Warm Breezes

Warm Breezes

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Posted (edited)
What makes you so sure he's never broken any of your rules? You have a lie detector test in your home?

 

Nope....but I do know my son. Sorry this long...but you asked how do I know.

 

I do know that he is nearly 20 years old and he hasn't used a swear word in front of me since he was 3 when he repeated a word he heard from an older cousin. We had a discussion on why those words were not appropriate and he has not used a swear in front of me since.

 

I do know that at every parent/teacher conference I went to while he was growing up I heard the same message over and over again. "Great student, wish I had a whole class room of him, quiet, never a problem".

 

I do know that I never had to bug him to do his homework in school and he ended up 12th in his class of 150 as well as being dual enrolled in the local university his Senior year so he is now a semester ahead of most in his class at the same university. Going to classes are one of the few reasons he leaves our house.

 

I do know that he was active in basketball and soccer in high school and the coaches had nothing but praise for him when we talked to them. I do know that he was chosen by his team mates to be captain of his varsity soccer team his senior year...not because he was popular or super talented, but because of his leadership and love of the game. He continues his love of the game by participating in fall/winter intermural leagues at his university. Again one of the few reasons he goes leaves the house.

 

I do know that he has never, not once, talked back to either his father or I in anger.

 

I do know that while he and his sister may get on each other nerves and have petty arguments, they have never gotten into a full blown fight and have always worked things out between them. Both are slow to temper and calm by nature.

 

I do know that he is very health conscious. He hasn't had a drop of pop in 5 years. He has to be in extreme pain (broken ankle comes to mind) before he will agree to take any medication and then he gets off it as soon as he can. We have offered him alcoholic drinks at home since he graduated high school. He never wants any. He runs by choice. I don't see him drinking or taking drugs...not because I said so, but because of who he is.

 

I do know that every job he has gotten he has gone out on his own to get without us pushing him to get one. I personally was happy with him helping me out getting his sister to her dance classes and keeping his grades up. I always encouraged him to keep active with his sports while in school and never pushed a job. But despite that he got his first job right after he got his license as a Soccer Referee for a city league. He volunteered coaching the JV and Varsity Soccer teams in their in-door leagues during the winter after he graduated. He got a summer job working 2nd shift at a campground so he could still take his sister to her dance classes during the day for me and finally he went after an internship while we were cruising this past August to write Red Wings articles on a internet sports page and got it the week after we got off. He wants to be Sports Writer when he graduates. He did all this on his own without us pushing him.

 

I do know that my son is a home body. He leaves the house to go to school, play sports, work, and vacation with us. He rarely goes out for any other reason and when he does he tells us where he is going every time without us asking. As a future sports writer he spends most nights in front of the TV watching the Lions, Tigers, Red Wings, Pistons, or US soccer game that happens to be playing and if not doing that he is writing. Most of the time his friends come to our house, very few times does he go out to theirs.

 

Do I know that he never broke rule....no. Is he perfect....no. But his flaws have always been minor and few and there has never been any reason for us to doubt him. After 20 years, I do know my son and if he did break a rule, I would be extremely surprised because like I said before, he is a rule stickler in every other faucet of his life by his choice.....

Edited by Warm Breezes
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CruiseAddict1982

CruiseAddict1982

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Nope....but I do know my son. Sorry this long...but you asked how do I know.

 

I do know that he is nearly 20 years old and he hasn't used a swear word in front of me since he was 3 when he repeated a word he heard from an older cousin. We had a discussion on why those words were not appropriate and he has not used a swear in front of me since.

 

I do know that at every parent/teacher conference I went to while he was growing up I heard the same message over and over again. "Great student, wish I had a whole class room of him, quiet, never a problem".

 

I do know that I never had to bug him to do his homework in school and he ended up 12th in his class of 150 as well as being dual enrolled in the local university his Senior year so he is now a semester ahead of most in his class at the same university. Going to classes are one of the few reasons he leaves our house.

 

I do know that he was active in basketball and soccer in high school and the coaches had nothing but praise for him when we talked to them. I do know that he was chosen by his team mates to be captain of his varsity soccer team his senior year...not because he was popular or super talented, but because of his leadership and love of the game. He continues his love of the game by participating in fall/winter intermural leagues at his university. Again one of the few reasons he goes leaves the house.

 

I do know that he has never, not once, talked back to either his father or I in anger.

 

I do know that while he and his sister may get on each other nerves and have petty arguments, they have never gotten into a full blown fight and have always worked things out between them. Both are slow to temper and calm by nature.

 

I do know that he is very health conscious. He hasn't had a drop of pop in 5 years. He has to be in extreme pain (broken ankle comes to mind) before he will agree to take any medication and then he gets off it as soon as he can. We have offered him alcoholic drinks at home since he graduated high school. He never wants any. He runs by choice. I don't see him drinking or taking drugs...not because I said so, but because of who he is.

 

I do know that every job he has gotten he has gone out on his own to get without us pushing him to get one. I personally was happy with him helping me out getting his sister to her dance classes and keeping his grades up. I always encouraged him to keep active with his sports while in school and never pushed a job. But despite that he got his first job right after he got his license as a Soccer Referee for a city league. He volunteered coaching the JV and Varsity Soccer teams in their in-door leagues during the winter after he graduated. He got a summer job working 2nd shift at a campground so he could still take his sister to her dance classes during the day for me and finally he went after an internship while we were cruising this past August to write Red Wings articles on a internet sports page and got it the week after we got off. He wants to be Sports Writer when he graduates. He did all this on his own without us pushing him.

 

I do know that my son is a home body. He leaves the house to go to school, play sports, work, and vacation with us. He rarely goes out for any other reason and when he does he tells us where he is going every time without us asking. As a future sports writer he spends most nights in front of the TV watching the Lions, Tigers, Red Wings, Pistons, or US soccer game that happens to be playing and if not doing that he is writing. Most of the time his friends come to our house, very few times does he go out to theirs.

 

Do I know that he never broke rule....no. Is he perfect....no. But his flaws have always been minor and few and there has never been any reason for us to doubt him. After 20 years, I do know my son and if he did break a rule, I would be extremely surprised because like I said before, he is a rule stickler in every other faucet of his life by his choice.....

 

Lol I'm a guy you're going to have to put a limit on your answers. Haha

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macleay

macleay

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Posted
Each parent is unique, each child is unique, and every parent-child relationship is unique. I quesion my own parenting skills daily; who am I to question other parents decisions?

 

Over many years, I granted my oldest child freedom. Perhaps more freedom than other children had, and that child has always acted responsibly, leading to even greater freedom... he is now 19 and I'm confident that he will conduct himself as an adult at all times and therefore THAT child has not had any "rules" for years.

 

My youngest child is another matter entirely. She is not quite 8, and I'm afraid at 18, I'll still not want to let her out of my sight. She is the kid that does not pay attention to her surroundings, the one that still doesn't remember to look both ways before crossing the street, so leaving her to roam a cruise ship alone? Yikes! Time will tell of course, perhaps she'll mature, but someday when someone wonders "why does that girl have a 1am curfew?" It will be because she's the kid that needs someone looking out for her at all times because she can't remember to look out for herself.

 

Another point I'd like to make about the curfew is that I am too old to wait up all night for my kids. I need MY sleep before a long busy day exploring ports I may never have the opportunity to return to. I like to sleep midnight-6am. A 1am curfew would be a stretch of a compromise for me, for a kid that I wouldn't trust to stay out later. Again, that is trust that builds over years, over a lifetime, really of "knowing" my child. In a bit of an ironic twist, while I don't wait up for my oldest child, when I am out, he ALWAYS waits up for ME!

 

My point is, as a outsider or as a casual acquaintace, you can't have any idea why a parent sets the rules they do. It isn't always JUST because they are overprotective. I agree, cruise ships are great places for kids to "test" freedoms, but this is a privlidge that a child earns, and not all teens deserve the same level of freedom that another teen deserves.

 

Hopefully this will shed a little light on the innerworkings of a "mom" brain!

 

Loved this post! I think the child's behavior has a great deal of influence on the rules they get. Some kids are just more responsible. I had two also and they're both now in their 30's. My oldest I had to keep a very close eye on, because he would push the envelope every chance he got. I didn't have to worry about my youngest at all.

 

So for the OP, you sound like a very responsible young person and your parents sound like they are treating you accordingly. Some of the posters you see on there might be considered overprotective, but then again, we don't know what their kids behavior has earned them!

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Blk_Amish

Blk_Amish

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Posted
Happy holidays to all the crazy cruise parents! Lol

 

We do always suffer from insanity, sometimes we enjoy every moment of it. Now I have to figure out how to parent a 'legal" adult. He is more cooperative than when he was 17.

 

Merry Christmas!

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happybooker1

happybooker1

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Posted

On our Magic cruise. What was he doing? Curled up on a lounge chair looking at the stars. How do I know? I went looking for him when I woke up and he wasn't there. Was I mad? More concerned although he is VERY trustworthy. We had some pizza & watched the stars together for awhile. Next time, I told him, call the room & TELL me he's gonna stay out a while longer after Club O2 closes.

 

Luckily, I'm one of those ppl that have no trouble waking up & then going back to sleep. :rolleyes:

 

He's trustworthy in part because I had SO MUCH TROUBLE with his sister, who is 17 years older. I told him I was TOO OLD to go through all that turmoil again & if he had ANY thoughts of going down the same path she did, I'd pack his things & leave him with his dad so fast his head would swim. And I MIGHT see him again after he was 30. And he knows I'm serious.

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