Rhapsody Review..An oldy but a goody..part 1

[robynwally]

Gary’s Holiday Diary

November 22nd to

December 2nd

New Caledonia –

Vanuatu

2008

All words/sentences in Italics have been added during the typing of this diary.

Edits have also been made to ensure that the contents of the diary make sense.

 

 

Day 1 – Saturday 22/11/2008

Melbourne to Sydney

· Woke up (myself!) today. The combination of knowing that I didn't have

to work, my clock radio and an ultra bright desk lamp on timer was all the

motivation I needed.

· Was pretty much packed so it was only little things that needed doing. The

only thing I have realised I have forgotten at this point (5pm) is a watch.

Not bad.

· Left the house only 15 minutes late (which in Wallace terms is actually 15

minutes early). Weather was rubbish. Cold and raining all morning. Met

up at Gran and Granddad's and then got driven to the airport by Lynda.

· At the airport we struggled a little to check in. Turns out we didn't need to

check in at all since Mum had organised the seats over the internet the

night before.

· Flight was ok, nothing exciting. Craig hit his head twice on overhead

compartments. That was good. They put 24 foxtel channels on the TV's in

the back of the seats for 10 minutes, but then try and make you pay for the

rest of the flight (Virgin Blue). I can't imagine anyone would bother for the

Melbourne-Sydney flight. I watched some TV on my mp3 player instead.

· Got off the plane, where Mum noticed that their cabin neighbours were in

the seats in front of them. She decided that it was us against them in an

Amazing Race style showdown to get to the ship first.......without telling

them. She says we won.

· I think I have discovered I'm anti-taxi-ist. I don't know why or where it's

come from but I just have never liked them. Our taxi driver today didn't

say a word, so we never said a word. Seemed awkward.

· When we first got to the ship, Mum and Dad seemed shocked by the size

of the ship. I wasn't really. Ships are meant to be big. Maybe I just have

high expectations.

· Trying to board the ship was a little difficult. First, we had a security guard telling us that we didn't have to line up where everyone else was, that instead we could just take a lift to the top of the dock. Well, the top ended

up being an observation deck. The next level down was the right level.

However, even before we entered the lift to the observation deck, the

security guard had to “tell us in a strong manner” where the lift was, as if

we were supposed to know and were dumb. Second, claiming duty free

was awkward as they were on their first day of using a new computer

system (The more I think about it, the less likely is seems......). Thirdly,

Craig's age proved to be an issue in allowing him to drink. There was no

record of Mum signing his release form, so the man behind the counter

made Craig's card look like he couldn't drink at all. Lastly, Craig's belt

rang the security scanner, but because he had left his wallet in his pocket,

he had to go through the scanner again. Newbie mistake. ALWAYS empty

the pockets!

· Once on the ship we found our cabins, checked out the features (namely

TV, power and the view......everything else could wait). Then we went and

got a bite to eat at he buffet. It was essentially a Smorgey's without having

to wait to be seated. Bit of a mix of foods, most of it greasy (it is an

American ship after all). On the way to the meal, we got asked if Craig and

I were twins (this is now the second time). I don't know who should be

more insulted, me or Craig.

· Also at lunch was the first time I encountered “hello people” again (for

more information, see the 2007 trip diary), however on the cruise all they

do is say Hello. After the last holiday, this sort of treatment is a bit foreign.

Luckily at Melbourne airport I got a “western hello person/people” that

wanted to “ask us one question.” They were from citibank or something.

They were just as uncomfortable to be around as “Chinese hello people.”

· After a short walk around the ship we went for a walk around circular

quay. Took obligatory photos of the ship, bridge, Opera House and every

combination of the 3. There are setting up for the Idol finale tomorrow

night. I don't envy them. It was so blowy/windy and freezing cold, it

would not be too fun.

· Spent the rest of the time on the shore going through souvenir shops.

Mostly to find and animal to rival my Ping Pong for Craig. Didn't happen.

So it was an hour of Australians looking in, but buying nothing from,

Australian souvenir shops. So, so sad.

· Despite this, there was something even sadder that happened. We entered a

Ken Duncan picture store. There were a number of great looking pictures

that were very colourful. Dad made the great decision of shouting in the

middle of the store “Gaz, how much of this do you think is photoshopped.”

Bad mistake. Craig and Mum ran out of the shop (good choice). The

woman staffer then went on for 2 minutes about how it was only 2%

photoshopped and how special film and special paper were used, blah de

blah de blah. Just let it be known that I had nothing to do with this what so

ever.

· We did figure out what Craig's “special” photos will be. Every day he will

count with his fingers the day it is, in a place that summarises that day

(ended up being in front of a number for that day i.e. Day 2, he would

have 2 fingers up and a number 2 from something else....)

· We had a muster (safety check so everyone knows where to go in an

emergency) so we all had to wear our life jackets. Despite how fashionable

we all looked in our life jackets, only 2 amusing things happened.

 

· The first was all the oldies pushing past us despite the fact we all clearly

had to get to the same place (It was almost as if Andre Rieu or Danny

Elliot (see later) were in front of us!). This was clear as we were lined up

for the front most life raft. The second was a guy who along with his life

jacket, had also put on a snorkel and mask. Well played Sir.......well

played.

· After the muster, it was time for the ship to leave port. Apparently Lynda

could see us on a webcam. We couldn't see where she could see us from

though. The highlight of going out of the port and going through the heads

wasn't seeing the bridge or Opera House up close, but the heads where Dad

said, and I quote, “everyone commits suicide.” I took a photos, just for the

memories.

· It's possible that the aforementioned “highlight” from Dad was as a result

of the cocktail Dad was in the middle of consuming. Called Anchors

Away, it was incredibly strong. It was $6.85 (US), but when a Crown

Larger cost $7.50, it was value for money. It's potency also possibly

explains why Dad spent 45 minutes taking photos of rainbows, clouds and

sunsets. I am assured the photos are very good though. On the bright side,

this led to the discovery of a heating vent on the top deck of the ship. This

meant we were able to stand outside right until we hit the open ocean

without freezing.

· After heading back to the cabins and unpacking shirts and things, we went

for dinner at the buffet. Very nice. Pork medallions and chocolate cake

were among my favourites.

· Following dinner we walked through a lot of the different parts of the ship.

The Schooner Bar was quite popular, the Shall We Dance lounge not so

much. The library didn't excite me very much and the casino, with its

lights and the slight rocking of the ship, was a little off-putting.

· After our self-guided tour, Mum and Dad hit the sack (10pm) to get some

sleep. Craig and I put our feet, catching up on rest (and this diary). Also

had to eat the bed pillow chocolate.

· Decided to check out the night life on board (only following a short

documentary on how chocolate is made that was on TV). The Viking Bar

was D.E.A.D! Only about 10 people in there. Only walked in there for 2

songs (Knock On Wood and some ABBA song). Seems slightly skew iff

for an 18-29 bar. Then again, maybe DJ Smurf (yes, you read that

correctly) is saving the more up to date tunes for when it gets busier. On

the plus side, we did find that there are 2 table tennis tables in the indoor

pool, as well as pizza......very useful. Also, there is another table tennis

table available 5 floors above our cabin on our nearest stair well, so we are

slowly getting our bearings as to where things are. Will call it a night now

so we can hit the ship running tomorrow.

 

· Oh, cheers to Hamish (expected) and Kim G (unexpected) for their Bon

Voyage messages. I will take it that they are both just glad I am out of the

country again and that everyone else is glad but just didn't want to hear

from me (who can blame them).

 

Day 2 – Sunday 23/11/2008

Sea Day

· Woke up at 8.....then 9:30.....then 10, when Dad and Mum kindly awoke us

to see if we wanted breakfast. Still tired so said no. When I eventually did

wake myself up again, Craig had the Wall-E movie on the TV. What I saw

of it looked alright, so I don't know what Kyle was talking about it being a

bad movie.

· Ended up walking to lunch at 1pm and decided to grab a plate of food and

then find a table. Turns out everyone on the ship was there (r at least

seemed like it) except for our folks, so we did 2 laps of the dining area

before we could hijack a 4 person table to eat at.

· After lunch we went for a quick walk, but before we did so, we grabbed a

quick lemonade (proper American lemonade). While there, an old lady

was struggling to use the drink dispenser, so I helped her fill up her

glasses. Then she took 2 back to her table and left 1 behind (she couldn't

carry all 3) so I went and took the last back to her table. She said thanks

(which is always appreciated). So I still did a bit on customer service while

I was away (on a Sunday no less!).

· The next 2 hours were spent walking to every corner of the ship. Was

much warmer today than yesterday, but still very windy. I didn't (and still

don't) understand why so many people were sun baking. They were

probably doing it just because they could, not because they should. This

was evidenced by the fact there was a woman lying on a deck chair with a

towel completely covering her. What was the point?

· Headed up to the Viking lounge where they were doing an introduction to

Wii Sports. Not many people there. In fact, they got more people to come

when they turned it off. The instructor said later in the cruise there would

be a Wii Fit demonstration. 2 points of interest. One, as Craig pointed out,

being successful might be slightly difficult on a rocking boat. Second, the

woman clearly was not an avid user of Wii Fit based on her body shape.

Perhaps they will find someone else......

· Walked around. Sat around. The only interesting events were getting and

ice-cream and opening the doors to the table tennis table and letting the

wind in on the guys who were playing. They weren't all that impressed.

· Went back to the cabin as we were tired. Soon got interrupted by Dad

knocking on the door asking if we wanted to check out the pool and get a

cocktail. We said no. He probably thinks we haven't left the cabin all day.

Although turns out they did little more that eat breakfast (Twice! They had

2 breakfasts!) up to that point.

10

· Fell back asleep again until Dad woke us up again. He wanted us to come

and get a cocktail. We said no again. Dad tried to barter with us by

suggesting we could sit up on deck and perve. Mum was not impressed

when told of this later.

· After being woken up it was pretty much time to get ready for our first

formal night. We all scrubbed up ok. I guess the nice clothes take the

attention away from our ugly faces.

· Meeting back up with Mum and Dad, it was clear Dad had had a few

cocktails. Throughout dinner this became even more obvious. He ended up

managing to call our waiter the wrong name (Twice! There must be

something about doing things twice today). His name is Melvin. Simple

enough. But Dad managed to bugger it up by calling him Sam and

Melville.

· For dinner I had the escargot, the roast duck and the souffle. All were

delicious. Then Dad got suckered into a French kiss from free willy. Let

me explain. At dinner, there is also a drinks waiter (at the Edelweiss

restaurant that is). Ours is named Willy. He's Asian. As he left our table,

he said he is known as Free Willy (sound even more disturbing now I think

about it). The drinks he was offering were after dinner shots called French

kisses. Dad was trying to say no but he couldn't bring himself to it, so he

got his French kiss from Free Willy

· Following on from dinner, we went to the theatre to see the Piano Man

performance. It was very good and educational. Educational in that that I

now know why I don't know any Barry Manilow songs. Its because they

aren't worth knowing.

· Note: I have forgotten to mention that prior to the performance Dad made

me have another of his Muai Tai cocktails with him, which had brought his

cocktail total for the day to 3, not to mention his beers and French kiss.

Due to this level of “liquid relaxant” Dad had forgotten his camera at

Dinner. He didn't realise until we were sitting in a lounge area and I

suggested someone had a better camera than his. He thought he'd left the

camera in his cabin. He came back (after checking in the cabin) in a panic

worried about where it was. Craig had luckily picked it up from the dinner

table as we left and suck it into our cabin. In between dinner and Dad

discovering the camera missing, we told Mum about it. This was our

downfall. She burst out laughing as soon as Dad questioned where the

camera was. I think she was laughing because of the trick we played, but it

could also have been because this was the most sober she had seen Dad in

6 hours.

· Following the performance, we went to see the karaoke. In all fairness

there were quite a few good performances......and of course the obligatory

bad ones. Highlights and/or lowlight included:

o The two men dancing together......they were wasted.

 

o A man and his girlfriend dancing....where the man was

wasted....and the girlfriend putting up with it for a surprisingly long

amount of time.

o The family of 13 odd (ranging in age from 9-70) singing love

shack........badly.

o A woman singing Dido's “White Flag” with the timely and not at

all of a jinx lyric “I will go down with this ship”. (I don't think

anyone else there picked up on this during the performance, but I

was laughing hard on the inside.)

· Then there was Dad getting he and I a Corona after much arm twisting

(seriously!) Craig said Dad would end up getting 3. I bet him $5 he

wouldn't. I lost. I have a feeling Dad is insecure about drinking around

others that don't feel like a drink. He also called one of the performers, a

woman from Perth, a feral just a little bit too loudly.

· Following the karaoke, we went to the Champagne Bar, but Mum went to

bed. The band at the bar played 2 songs and then finished up. So we went

to the disco.

· On the way to the disco, we ran into Free Willy. He got Dad's name wrong

(karma's a bitch) but then they both had a disjointed conversation about

how its easier for us to remember Willy's name than it is for him to

remember ours. I felt like an interpreter. Dad said Willy's English wasn't

very good. I said that Dad's wasn't much better. I then said to Dad that he

had a 45 year head start on the English language. He didn't understand

what I meant. Enough said.

· The disco was going well tonight, lots of people having a good time. We

sat up the top. Dad was unimpressed with the music (all standard club

songs, nothing terrible). He then proceeded to fall asleep. He left after

waking up another 3 times. Craig and I left soon after.

· Note: Forgot to mention Craig found a towel dog in our room today. Mum

had told me how the cabin staff made towel animals from....well....towels!

Very cool.

· Note: I feel this needs to be said, despite the fact the people I am saying

this about are paying for this trip. There seems to be pressure from the olds

to try and pick-up or at least “mingle” with some girls. This began when

first checking into the ship, with Mum consistently pointing out girl “our

age” or that would be good to “party with” (I'm sure that wasn't a Louis

Theroux reference Gran). Then was Dads perving comment and at the

karaoke Dad was eyeing off girls for Craig and 1. Firstly, as if I need my

parents telling me these things, I mean if there's ever a mood killer, that

would be it. Second, if you are that dedicated to our “cause”, step 1 must

be “don't attend a disco with your 23 and 20 year old sons”, let alone fall

asleep in a disco with your 23 and 20 year old sons. Just some friendly

advice to any future parents out there.

 

Day 3 – Monday 24/11/2008

Sea Day

· Very quiet day today. Missed breakfast again. Didn't get out of the cabin

till 12:00. Was hoping the weather wouldn't be as gusty as yesterday.

Thankfully it was only breezy and it was warmer than yesterday too.

· Had a quick walk around the top deck. Every man and his dog (is that a

saying OR am I describing the guys' partners.........YOU DECIDE!) was up

there. After walking to the front most portion of the ship Craig and I

decided that we would lie down and enjoy the nicer weather.

· I went downstairs and got some reading material and came back up.

Relaxed for a couple of hours. It was very nice but of course we would

regret this later.

· Met up with Mum and Dad at the Windjammer lounge and finally had

something to eat. It was at this point that Craig and I began to realise how

bad our burns were. They ended up very bad.

· After our afternoon snack we kicked back beside the pool listening to the

reggae band. The oldies were loving it, calling for one more song at the

end of their set. Dad also continued with his now tradition of getting the

cocktail of the day.

· Had to get back to the cabin to change for dinner. It's only casual night but

still need pants and shoes. This was when we realised just how bad our

burns are. For the rest of the night our legs felt like they were burning

under our pants.

· Dinner was nice again. Met some people from our table tonight. There was

a couple from Tasmania and a couple from Canberra. They seemed nice

enough. Free Willy remembered Dad's name tonight, as did Dad with

Willy's (after a long hesitation mind you). Willy suckered Dad into an

Italian Stallion tonight (again, the name of the drink). I think Willy knows

he's got a consistent sale in Dad. Also, all the waiters sang some Italian

song, which was very good. Also, Sam (who is the head waiter for our

floor) showed me how to peel out the prawn from its shell. It proved very

useful (it was described as turning the “boat” around as if sailing back to

Jamaica and then peeling the prawn out). Very funny.

· After Dinner, Craig and I ran off to play some table tennis while Mum and

Dad were going to change some money over for tomorrow. Playing on the

ship was like playing drunk. You didn't feel bad, but as the boat rocked,

you would lose balance a little, but you felt like you were the only one

feeling it. It was a very strange sensation.

· Following the table tennis we went and found Mum and Dad at the Where

In The World trivia quiz. Each of the questions had 3 clues, and the faster

you answered the questions, the more points you got. I wasn't very good. I

only head 3 questions which were:

· Question 1

o 5 Points: 150 tribes live in me, each with a different language or

dialect.

o 2 Points: Red piranhas swim here.

o 1 Point: I am the largest river in South America

· Question 2

o 5 Points: This capital city has a river that can be crossed by boat,

bridge and tunnel.

o 2 Points: My financial district is known as “the square mile.”

o 1 Point: William The First built a famous tower here.

· Question 3

o 5 Points: I am the second smallest independent state in the world.

o 2 Points: This state only owns 1 merchant vessel, and oil tanker.

o 1 Point: I am the playground of the rich and famous.

(Answers are at the back of the diary)

· Although I didn't do any good at answering any of those, I did slightly

impress the woman who was next to our parents with my (limited)

knowledge of small nations. That made me slightly happier with myself.

· After the quiz, Mum thought she had lost her camera. Turned out it was in

her cabin. Then we went and saw tonight's performance. It was a guy

playing classical piano pieced and various other arrangements. He was

okay, but mentioning Andre Rieu was not going to win him any favours

from Craig or I. However since the rest of the crowd was probably 50 plus

I think disappointing us two wouldn't have worried him in the slightest.

· Following the performance, the guy had his own DVD's and CD's on sale

for $20. He was mobbed as if he was Andre's step brother. It was crazy.

What was crazier was Dad being mobbed by some drunk woman who was

asking if Craig and I had done any of the teen activities. What the? Dad

seemed to judge her because of her drunkenness. I thought that he had no

right to do so after last night. Craig thought the woman might have been an

older version of the Balls Of Steel Bunny Boiler. Either way, it was all

very odd.

· Went to the solarium, which is actually where the indoor pool is, to get a

drink. Then we got distracted by more table tennis. I beat Craig again, but

of more interest was the water movement in the indoor pool. It was crazy.

The water was going everywhere! Walked back up on deck again where

the temperature was actually very nice. I took a good photo up there as

well (in my opinion). Then another game of table tennis (since the table

was available. Craig one this game......finally).

· Got back to the cabin where Craig and I admired each others sunburns.

Then I set about finishing today's diary entry. While writing I was

distracted by a documentary of another Royal Caribbean ship with an on

board ice-skating rink! Crazy. I have also learnt there is one with a surf

wave pool machine, and that their latest ship is 220,000 tonnes, whereas

ours is only 72,000 tonnes! And that these boats should be swaying at a

maximum of only 5º either way for passenger comfort, but are designed to

withstand up to 49.5º either way! Also got distracted by the movie Speed

Racer but that is a bit rubbish. It's a definite do not bother for that one.

 

Day 4 – Tuesday 25/11/2008

Noumea

 

· Had to get up early today, which was achieved with a great deal of

difficulty. Dad knocked on our door quite early as he went to see the ship

dock into port. Craig and I weren't so keen so we slept in. Still got out of

bed at about 8 though.

· Managed to leave enough time to get a small bite for breakfast. By small I

mean a little croissant and a yoghurt. Turns out I've never eaten normal

yoghurt before. It was putrid. Once we finished we got off the ship and

onto a minibus that drove us from the shipyard (we literally docked into a

cargo shipping yard).

· On the way up to the ropes course that we booked ourselves on, we drove

up the mountainside, around very tight corners and even almost hit a dog.

· The ropes course itself wasn't too bad. In fact it was even a little relaxing.

Most of the people that did it were young kids, their parents or some

random old women, Obviously the zip line/flying fox parts were the best,

just sitting back and enjoying the ride. The funniest part is the one I would

call the spider web, where you slide down a rope flying fox straight into a

cargo net. Well, at least it was the funniest until I did it. Hitting the net

with my sunburnt arms and legs was no fun at all.

· On the drive down to the ship, we were pointed to the Fire Man. This is

not to be mistaken for a fireman. This is a person that sits in a tower

overlooking the mountainside, and if there is a fire, they tell the water

tanker where to drop their load. Pretty sweet job if you ask me.

· When we got back on the ship, we checked to see if Mum and Dad were

in, but they weren't. So we instead headed up to the Windjammer buffet

for some lunch.

· After lunch, we waited in our cabin to meet up with Mum and Dad, as this

is what we had organised earlier. After they finally got back from

wherever they had been, Dad had the idea that it would be good to go to

the beach. The weather thought otherwise. By the time we got to the drop

off point in the city, it had already began to rain, so that plan was already

ruined.

· Since there was not much else to do, Dad decided to try and ring Nanna.

Watching him try and organise a phone card, as well as use it, was as

painful as pulling your own teeth. Watching Dad call Mum over in a quasisecret

style was even more so.

· After phone calls to Nanna and Gran (who at first thought Mum was

Lynda), we went to the local supermarket thing. I say 'thing' because it had

the usual supermarket stuff as well as clothes and toys. And being called

Casino's was strange as well.

· Walking around for so long on shore, Craig and I started feeling a bit sea

sick. It was as if you minds wanted the ground to be moving when it

wasn't. The humidity, rain and heat probably didn't help much either.

· When we got back off the shuttle at the ship, the rain decided to stop.

Typical. Mum and Dad went to eat. Craig and I went back to the cabin.

Craig ended up sleeping while I caught up on my writing.

· Got interrupted by Dad and Mum going to dinner. This woke Craig up but

the both of us could not be bothered going. However 10 minutes later we

both decided we were hungry. We ended up going to the Windjammer

instead. Food was ok although I suspect that the duck was just offcuts of

the duck that was being served in the fancy dining hall. For the record,

even though I wasn't there, Dad had a tipple of Willy's Buttery Nipple

tonight. Apparently a Buttery Nipple is the same as a Cowboy for those

wondering.

· Following our dinner we went and checked out the guitar hero

introductory class thing. We wanted a laugh. Unfortunately most people

were quite quick on the uptake. One of the people who participated was

one of the Dads (well, the only Dad, but one of the parents) on the ropes

course. He was much too good at the guitar because he has it at home. He

didn't even try to make himself look bad at any point.

· Following that we went to the theatre to see the magician/comedian. We

thought we'd meet up with Mum and Dad there and we did. The magician

was very good and we got 2 for 1 tequila sunrises, which were also good.

· After the magician, we sat in the centre foyer part of the boat (called the

Centrum handily enough) because they promised a performance of 70's

songs. It was great. All the event management dressed up in their 70's and

Village People outfits and sang and danced through a set of 8-10 songs.

The bottom floor was completely full of people standing around and

enjoying it. The highlight though was the 65+ yr old man getting stuck in a

lift with women dancing and going crazy inside. At first, he was pretty

hesitant to join in but then he ended up staying in the lift for about 5 up

and down movements of the lift. Even better was that he got into it and

started slapping the women's asses and things. It had the whole boat in

hysterics.

· The 70's party moved on up to the Viking lounge, so the family did follow.

It was quite good until the DJ put one rubbish song on that no-one knew,

which cleared out the floor entirely. We all sat down, Dad had a beer and

one by one everyone went to bed. Except me. Once everyone had gone I

managed to get up and have a bit more of a dance, which was quite

enjoyable. Called it a night once more of the new stuff came on. I just

couldn't be bothered by then really. Still, good day.

· Note: I forgot to mention that Craig's dessert yesterday looked like a

breast, complete with jiggle and all! (I think it was a semi-sphere of a

strawberry custard/mousse with a ring of cream on top, with a cherry on

top of that)

· Note 2: Apparently Dad almost lost his camera in the dining hall again.

Exact repeat of the other day, except Craig wasn't there to save it.....or hide

it.

[vivian02]

Returned two weeks ago from Rapsody. You oldie so far is great. Looking forward to part 2. Nice work. Tim

[LuckiePuris]

Thanks for the review, enjoyed the read!

 

Would love to read a review Tim if you have one, or see any photos if you have an online album.

 

Looking forward to my first RCI cruise! :)