.......idle jottings

.............now I'd have thought Ho Hum Manor had a multitude of staff to perform these tasks on your behalf. Housekeeper, gardener, chef, chauffeur, PA etc etc:). I'm all of these rolled into one.

I'm not going to Singapore just considered flying s'pore airlines. Organising a surprise birthday for the old boy and will book Emirates. Been to Singapore before and loved it, flew Qatar then, very good airline too.

Hoping you have a fabulous holiday while I gut out the ensuite. Thankfully the leak was caused by the wash hand basin pipes not the tanking in the wetroom bit.

Since you asked we have a handsgrohe shower panel system with body jets and V&B fittings. P has decided to replace the lot. New tanking,tiles (fabulous choice now), furniture(as it's called now), lighting, music system etc.

Hoping you manage to avoid those darned spinning suites on this trip and thoroughly enjoy camping. Sounds fab. Happy cruising:)

The speakers are allegedly chosen by a certain guy in management and he apparently ignores recommendations made, each and every time; choosing them himself.

We were entering the Suez Canal on the passage to India (great title for a book there) and we will naturally be returning that way (let's hope we can see a bit more of it, this time: extremely foggy last time),

Wouldn't you have thought that a lecture on the Suez Canal would have been at least of some interest.

No, there were two lectures, one on English Wedgwood pottery and another on chemical warfare !

Hmmmm, interesting choices.

Ho hum suggests you ask anyone who attended the lecture (who usually heads straight for the TOYB afterwards for a "stiffener") and enquire "well what was the lecture on ?",

Invariably they mumble something dismissive, whilst they swiftly consume their drink to steady their nerves after the 90 minute ordeal and then claim they have forgotten everything en-route to the TOYB !

A kind of repression that occurs after too frightening an incident.

They resemble patients fresh from an ECT session, glaring in the sunshine after leaving the darkened Salon.

Once a chap was onboard who was annoyingly enthusiastic about everything, bless him.

He attended every lecture, plonking himself in the front, middle row seat and within just a few seconds, falls asleep, slumped in his chair..........and..........snored: so loudly ! Haha

Now ho hum will say, all the lecturers have been found to be really nice people and quite interesting (the lady General was a hoot) but when the lectern appears.......Aaaarrggghhh !

Thanks Jim & Poppy and the thousands (yeah right) wishing ho hum well.

Wet room sounds amazing Poppy. Great choice of classic fittings sweetie.

Tile colour please ? Will it match the avocado sanitary fittings ? Haha

Byeee, long day.

Posh part - London - Delhi - Jaipur - 90 minute drive - tent - zzzzzzzzzzz

Warning

This post has NOTHING to say about Sea Dream, Engines, Kids etc..; apologies.

But if you care to listen to a Sea Dream devotee on his journey to reach Sea Dream and his sojourn in India prior to embarkation; then you are warmly welcomedto partake of this....idle jotting.

So

1.00 hour limousine to London Heathrow

3.00 hour: BA Lounge, Laurent Perrier Grand Siecle (1 bottle). Yum- yum. Nobody famous.

9.50 hour flight London-Delhi: Laurent Perrier Grand Siecle, Pouilly Fume & Santenay, amuse bouche-starter (too tired for mains, desert & cheese courses), watched half of Philomena film (with Jim's favourite: Judy Dench), sleeepppppp. Breakfast with Earl Grey (a tea ! No, not a person).

3.00 hour Delhi airport, missed connecting flight (delay at London, turbulence etc..). Arrange new flight. Was asked to give credit card pin number ! Refused. Cash machines not working. Exchange stirling for rupees. Ticket. Book in. Excess baggage fee. Exchange stirling for rupees again. Wait. Board.

1.25 hour Delhi- Jaipur (met man on his way to a family wedding. His son is studying something way too complicated in University of Michigan where it has been -30. Misses vegetarian Indian food.).

2.50 hour drive to pavilion (with pool): less cows on road and drivers driving directly at you (until last minute) than ho hum can recall from past journeys or maybe just tired.

India has changed a lot since ho hum first went.

Airports, transport, people (whenever young people see ho hum they regale him of how motivated they are: why ? Ho hum prefers the lazy ones (except if it involves getting him a drink or nosh: thats why ho hum loves the French and why ho hum and the French will never understand fast food. Why ? It is meant to be savoured.)).

Election day in Rajasthan. A divisive Hindu (only) party seeking to gain seats (that will stir up the country if Modi gets in ! With Pakistan (Muslim) on main border !)

As you drive out of the city areas, you enter rural India.

This is the real India. Life has changed very little. Except for scooters & dropping traditional clothes by up and coming young people.

The poor are distinct by their traditional garb; the brightest orange saris for ladies and all white shirts and dhotis for men.

A traditional (vegetarian) Indian meal last night with G+Ts beforehand.

Poppadums with various flavourings.

Kebabs

Thali (included a delicious dark lentil that was slow cooked for two days ! Tasted like a hearty, meaty stew. Still tasting it now. Fast foodies will never know this experience).

Naan breads

No "splendiferous" deserts tonight. Simply home made yoghurt and local honey. Tarty youghurt and sweet honey, delicious. Having local yoghurt helps preventing ...well, you know what.........acts like a probiotic. This is what real yoghurt should taste like (had it through meal too: known as "raitha").

Met a procession of head honchos after meal, Food & Beverage manager who used to work 6 miles from where we live in UK, followed by chef with invitations to see garden and offer of demonstrating naan bread making (definitely both). Charming young man, very passionate with a wealth of experience. Spoke with an amazing English accent that he seemed to learn from P.G.Wodehouse plays and had the manners to go with it: like him a lot.

Earl Grey back in pavilion.

Zzzzzzz

Call at 2.46am !!!!!' (Wrong number)

Indian breakfast awaits and inquest into caller at 2.46am (expect grovelling apology, followed by injured furtive looks). Public flogging around 8.00 am. Show clemency at 7.59am. Celebrations for the merciful ho hum. Garlands, flower petals thrown, feet washed.....chanting: then wake up from fantasy.

Temperature up to 35 today.

Sea Dream meanders to Mumbai where we expect to meet chums departing from this voyage.

Love INDIAAAAARRR

So the inquest started.

Caused by storm night mem'sahib.

Ha !

Tea arrives.

For those on the upcoming crossing to London, Marine Traffic at San Juan, PR shows SDI speed on the way inbound from Jost vanDyke to have been in the 12 to 13 knot range. This would indicate two operating engines.

Merci, Inspector Clouseau !

Ho hum decided to do his own check following Jim's more technical assessment concerning the engine situation.

Being in India, ho hum consulted with a revered astrologer, gave offerings to Vishnu (& Shiva for good luck), sought mystical guidance from a sadhu (holy man) then studied the entrails of a slaughtered goat (offered to Durga, for good measure),

Ho hum was not able to offer any firm conclusions but news of a judicious re-birth was most welcome (not soon one hopes) however the concubine selection left a lot to be desired.

One thing ho hum did "see" was Sea Dream II surrounded by more containers and both temperature and humidity in high 90's: sea was a bit bouncy too. Now on its way to Cochin. Just finished Easter celebrations onboard. Clairvoyance can be hit or miss sometimes.

Merci, Inspector Clouseau !

Kato, my little yellow friend, I am home!

Kato, my little yellow friend, I am home!

Aaaarrrrrrr banzai !!!

As Sea Dream II sails to Cochin; it picked up the security personnel lead by Ollie and his two aides from Colombo, Sri Lanka.

We are now staying in a splendid tent in Rathanbore; 3 hour drove south-west of Jaipur (1 hour flight, south-west of Delhi).

We visited Rathanbore 9 years ago staying in the self same hotel and self same room as the future Queen of England (no, not Elton John: the other Queen, Elizabeth).

Ho hum sat on the very same "throne" as the Queen.

Then she was on honeymoon with Prince Philip and was off staying at various Commonwealth country gaffes around the world.

Rathanbore was chosen because of the tigers.

And yes they went to shoot them.

Quelle horeur !

It is not known whether any were shot. The public were less uppity in those days but you can imagine the French would be disgusted, citing that is why they got rid of royalty and saying why a Republic works so much better.

Except it doesnt !

The economy is going backwards and the far right political parties are making merry blaming "Johnny foreigner" except immigrants pass right thro' France to the land still with a Royal Family (no not Netherlands or Sweden: the one that cant play football).

London is the fifth biggest city for the French !

In case you think this is "Frenchy bashing". Well it is but they still make the best wine in the world.

Oh how ho hum wanders !

The hotel where the Queen and Phil stayed and where ho hum and blondie stayed used to be a hunting lodge for the park.

It has seen better days and is now a more of a budget hotel for the ever growing Indian middle class.

In fact there appears over 30 more hotels along the road to the park for the burgeoning, wealthier, Indian and his (smaller) family.

Good luck ho hum says, at least it will preserve the park and the precious tigers which now are protected by intense bureaucratic legislature. You even have to take a passport !

We in fact did see a tiger. 7 year old male having recently eaten and dozing in a stream covered by shade to cool from the 45 degree heat. Main body was over 2.0m long (3.0m if you include the tail) weighing 300 lbs: magnificent.

PS correct spelling is Ranthambhore, Rajasthan, India: sorry it's the heat !

America will be waking up soon.

Now you Yanks know an awful lot about stuff.

Ho hum has self-diagnosed a recent excruciating pain that he has been suffering from, for days now.

It has been researched on the internet, as........wait for it......TENNIS ELBOW !

Hell it hurts, 600mg Ibuprofen doesnt touch it (600 you say ! Yes, ho hum found a dubious dispensing chemist in Belgrade, Croatia when he was visiting crew).

What to do ? Some 25 year old painkillers from back pain days but that would knock out a horse ! Unfortunately ho hum is growing at an alarming rate and unlike Bordeaux wine, ho hum doubts painkillers improve with age.

So un-ashamedly ho hum begs for help. He has one last day until boarding Sea Dream. Maybe they have cortisone injections on board.

Willing to accept advice not just from Yanks. Ho hum is an equal advice receiver.

America will be waking up soon.

Now you Yanks know an awful lot about stuff.

 

Ho hum has self-diagnosed a recent excruciating pain that he has been suffering from, for days now.

 

It has been researched on the internet, as........wait for it......TENNIS ELBOW !

 

Hell it hurts, 600mg Ibuprofen doesnt touch it (600 you say ! Yes, ho hum found a dubious dispensing chemist in Belgrade, Croatia when he was visiting crew).

 

What to do ? Some 25 year old painkillers from back pain days but that would knock out a horse ! Unfortunately ho hum is growing at an alarming rate and unlike Bordeaux wine, ho hum doubts painkillers improve with age.

 

So un-ashamedly ho hum begs for help. He has one last day until boarding Sea Dream. Maybe they have cortisone injections on board.

 

Willing to accept advice not just from Yanks. Ho hum is an equal advice receiver.

In ze Surete, when we have ze Tennis Elbow, we are instructed to Stop Playing ze Tennis!:eek:

In ze Surete, when we have ze Tennis Elbow, we are instructed to Stop Playing ze Tennis!:eek:

So readers, welcome to ho hum's nightmare !

Ho hum, in all earnestness, begs for help from you.

And the only reply is from Jim, still in character as Inspector Clouseau !

Of course, ho hum blames himself. What was he thinking !

Remember the scene when Clouseau returns to his apartment and has to do something very important when Cato jumps out and attacks him. Clouseau pleads with Cato "not now Cato".

Well to paraphrase "not now Jimo" !

So ho hum has scavenged the contents of his medicine bag and discovered the "under the counter" painkillers bought in Serbia. Having restricted his drinking to just a half bottle of Indian sauvignon blanc; he is hopeful the cocktail of drugs and alcohol will reduce the pain and grant a night's sleep.

If you read reports of an Englishman having been eaten by tigers after wandering i to an enclosed Park, calling " here kitty, kitty". Then just remember you could have prevented the tragic waste of a young man with everything to live for had you replied sooner with a remedy for his terrible affliction.

If ice is readily available, try some ice packs on the affected area. Best thing is to use that arm as little as possible (easier said than done!) A tight band around the arm also restricts movement of the tendon. Otherwise plenty of alcohol and pain killers should help! Hopefully the SD doctor can help!

If ice is readily available, try some ice packs on the affected area. Best thing is to use that arm as little as possible (easier said than done!) A tight band around the arm also restricts movement of the tendon. Otherwise plenty of alcohol and pain killers should help! Hopefully the SD doctor can help!

How about that? Whatnot has the same basic advice as Clouseau: Don't use that arm! Learn to imbibe with the other hand. Ambidexterity can be of great help on occasion.:eek:

How about that? Whatnot has the same basic advice as Clouseau: Don't use that arm! Learn to imbibe with the other hand. Ambidexterity can be of great help on occasion.:eek:

Thankyou whatnot.

Ho hum has dunked a flannel in ice water from the drinks cooler and wrapped it around the elbow with a towel covering same.

Jim, your advice cannot remotely be considered the same as whatnot's.

Your advice was to stop playing tennis delivered in a phoney French accent !

How on earth is that similar ?

By the way, how many wee shots have you had this fine morning ?

Thankyou whatnot.

Ho hum has dunked a flannel in ice water from the drinks cooler and wrapped it around the elbow with a towel covering same.

 

Jim, your advice cannot remotely be considered the same as whatnot's.

Your advice was to stop playing tennis delivered in a phoney French accent !

How on earth is that similar ?

 

By the way, how many wee shots have you had this fine morning ?

Who is counting anyway?:D

........Sorry to hear that. What about trying the old Ayurvedic treatment (since you're in that neck of the woods) of soaking cabbage leaves in ice cold water for 30 mins and then wrapping the leaves all around your elbow and securing them with a stretch bandage overnight. I'm sure the hotel has a cabbage!! Diclofenac 75 mgs twice per day should help but not cure it. Think it's POM so the ships doc may prescribe it if they are unable to give you a cortisone shot. Hope they can.

Any pics of the big kitty?

Make sure you have photos taken.....i want to see you in disguise at breakfast as a salade de chou frissée. Sorry, not meaning to be laughing, what with you in such pain.

Oh well vegetables do work! I just said ice packs because I figured they did not have bags of frozen green peas readily available in India. They really work better than ice packs because they are more flexible. But Poppy's cold cabbage leaves and a stretch bandage sounds good too!

Unfortunately ho hum will be travelling for most of the day today, including passing through airport security.

Having a cabbage leaf compress may cause a problem: ho hum can imagine all types of scenarios from dogs reacting to a drug find or a guard discovering a suspicious lump during their "pat down".

But Poppy it is duly noted and much appreciated, as is the drug recommendation.

Of course ho hum will send you a photo of the wonderful tiger when he transfers the photos to his mac on one's return.

Thanks again whatnot. No bags of frozen peas are not commonly available.

Jim; your incorrigible bad influence has dragged Abenaki (of previous good character) into a similar French themed matter of amusement.

Any more French themed puns, s'il vous plait, mes petites choux ?

Unfortunately ho hum will be travelling for most of the day today, including passing through airport security.

Having a cabbage leaf compress may cause a problem: ho hum can imagine all types of scenarios from dogs reacting to a drug find or a guard discovering a suspicious lump during their "pat down".

 

But Poppy it is duly noted and much appreciated, as is the drug recommendation.

Of course ho hum will send you a photo of the wonderful tiger when he transfers the photos to his mac on one's return.

 

Thanks again whatnot. No bags of frozen peas are not commonly available.

 

Jim; your incorrigible bad influence has dragged Abenaki (of previous good character) into a similar French themed matter of amusement.

Any more French themed puns, s'il vous plait, mes petites choux ?

Hey punk, who are you callin choux??? ( and what is with the whole cabbage theme?)

Well we board Sea Dream later today at 2.00pm (as is the custom, but you know that).

Bit of luck.

Blondie's best friend went to Hotel School in Switzerland many moons ago. Now she was obviously in a school full of aspiring hoteliers and restauranteurs from around the world.

Well one of those fellow students went on to do really quite well and became a head honcho at a famous New York hotel at an amazingly young age (no not 9 ! Be serious Jim ! No go right to the back of the class. Face the wall. Yes right round. Not another word!).

He met an Indian guest who offered him a super duper job explaining he wanted him to head up a growing hotel group.

Now this American guy gambled and took the job.

Well he has become a bit of a legend in the hotel industry, worldwide and especially Asia and in particular in India.

Well to cut a long story short, before we came to India we emailed him for a meet up but he would be giving a speech at a World Conference of Hoteliers or such like somewhere in Asia. He knew we were staying at The Taj so offered to send a car and driver to collect us from the Jaipur flight. Well that had already been arranged so he said he would have a little surprise for us. We were thinking flowers, maybe sparkling Indian wine ! Dont laugh it is actually good. When ho hum was poor, one of his wine merchants recommended a sparkling wine called "Omar Khyam" (after the Sufi poet) saying it went well with curries. He was right.

So we troll up at the hotel, go through security (remember this was the hotel daringly attacked by terrorists from Pakistan who arrived by boat just yards from the hotel which overlooks the harbour, yards away).

Well we are ushered past check in desk by a very plummy English speaking, Indian entourage of frightfully nice young men and young ladies (called Hyacinth, Poppy, Kylie: no just kidding) to an elevator direct to our room.

A suite on the sixth floor overlooking the bay and Gates of India monument !

Wow !

The room is fantastic and the view is fantastic.

Its now 6.00am here and the sun has risen a tad over the bay.

The bay is littered with bobbing ferry boats and the crows dive about, crawing and scavenging for food for left over from the crowds that attended the son et lumiere display of the Gate of India, the night before (done in typically erratic Indian style worthy of a third rate '70's Bollywood movie).

Wretched dogs are lazing along the stone boulevard as a few wandering white tourists (short clad with expensive cameras) take shots of scenes to show the folks back home.

This is eternal India.

Before the heat reaches well over 40 degrees and the billion of Indians hit the streets !

We are grateful to our friend of a friend who arranged this. He is an amazing hotelier.

Over the years ho hum has come to admire the hotelier (and maitre d') of various establishments and wondered just how do they do it ?

Spread, apparently authentic charm, making each one feel like a special person of such refinement, charm, wit and uniqueness and that you are cared for from the moment you are in the hotel until the day you depart this earthly life !

Well this guy is such a man and is a legend ! Having stayed with the same family run hotel chain that has branched out over Asia.

Sun is beginning to glow into the room illuminating the rich red velvet brocade cushions on the Lounge sofa. Tea is ordered.

As all you ladies out there know, today is an important day to prepare for that moment of casually sauntering up the gang plank to the vessel, apparently so carefree but this belies the sheer pandemonium that will hit this tranquil room as blondie counts down the time for boarding.

Ho hum is certain no preparation is greater than the casual boarding later to-day !

Space missions have had easier run ins ! And they dont meet anybody !

God knows what blondie would be like if there were extra-terrestrials ! "well I'm not going out there. I've nothing to wear !".

There are a number of guests departing Sea Dream today and some wish to meet up.

That would be lovely but blondie is not leaving this suite. Ho hum understands.

They can come here, ho hum suggests. "Come here are you completely mad. I DO have to get ready you know !". Well a brokered peace is arranged that makes the Arab-Israeli conflict look childs play. "Golan heights ! Who needs 'em, oi vay. A Jewish saying: better to have a good neighbour than an enemy. Take them.".

Well a carefully choreographed arrangement of meet ups is negotiated.

All this depends on Indian customs of course, which has tiers of varying bodies of officials you have to pass. On our trip to India nobody was allowed off the boat until crew and passengers had cleared onboard customs. Much to-ing and fro-ing in wonder at bureaucracy gone rampant.

Well a quick soak in the tub methinks. It'll be a long day !

Oh this will make you laugh. So after car journeys, plane journeys etc., we arrive in suite. Our personal butler tells us all that he can do. We plonk ourselves down on the sofa and tell him "well the first thing you can do is bring us some G&T's, doubles, tonic water, not diet, bucket of ice, sliced lemons and some nibbles. This order will need repeating 15 minutes later."

Sorry sir, no alcohol is being served to-day.

"What !" "You are frigging joking Dunga Din" mood turns ugly !

Sir, madam, it is election in this State for two days. You will not be served alcohol in this State or the surrounding States. It is a government requirement that alcohol is not available.

Well democracy is all well and good but not getting a damn drink !

That's ho hum's basic human right !

Cant wait now for that first bottle of champagne at the TOYB !

Bring the tea thro' to the bath tub. Yes sir. Has sir been working out ? OK so ho hum made the last bit up. In fact ho hum has incorrectly gauged water displacement to volume of body of water entering said water. Towels ! Towels ! Towels !

Hey punk, who are you callin choux??? ( and what is with the whole cabbage theme?)

It is a term of endearment ya numbskull !

Poppy brought cabbage up. Remember when ho hum asked for help about his tennis elbow (thanks for asking by the way !) and al, you offered was "stop playing tennis" delivered in a faux French accent. Great help !

Surely it must be time for another wee shot, Jimmy lad ?

Photo below of tub.

Ho hum doesnt want to be seen naked in his bath; might cause wild sexual desire !

"More like avoiding being physically sick" says blondie on her way to pool ! Ha ha