Guidelines For A Sixteen Year Old

[Cruisin'40]

My kids are all of age, but my grandchildren are not!! I have a couple of 16 year olds, and one 17, that cruise with me. Rule is simple, I smell it on your breath or catch you, I fly you home from the next port!! No discussion!! I'm old school, and they still cruise with me!!! :D

 

Kudos !

 

I guess I take a more selfish viewpoint when we cruise. My girls spend ample time with their friends at home, when we cruise I like it to be family time. They hang out together, or we participate in activities as a family. They haven't shown much interest in the teen/children programs. If they want to go on a "party" cruise, I'm afraid they will have to wait until they are old enough to pay for it themselves.

 

As for the alcohol, it hasn't been an issue, (oldest daughter is 19) but I just can't bring myself to say "If you are going to drink, do it responsibly", since it is illegal I think as a parent I need to maintain a "red light" attitude, maybe they will bend to peer pressure but so far they haven't. Hopefully they will have enough positive role models in their lives that they can live happily without alcohol. And no I do not have my head buried in the sand, I know good kids make "poor choices". (I did!):o

[rucruizin]

Thanks for sharing that... that’s an important lesson for a cruise or not. Thank god my parents had that talk with me. I called them one night at a party because not only was my ride drinking, but also the older man who bought the kids beer was getting downright creepy. They came and got me, and we went home. The Monday after a few of the girls weren't in school. Two came back a few days later. One didn’t come back until a few weeks later. Turns out, the poor girl was raped by that guy. Had my parents not let me know I could call them at any time, that could have been me.

 

Tips for Parents on this issue (from the 17 year olds point of view):

 

-Talk about it... you don't need to mention it every day, but if your teen is going out, just remind them of the talks you've has by saying something like, "remember, you can always call". They my roll their eyes or think you're a bit "lame", but I really do appreciate it (and they will too, eventually).

 

-If you go to get your child at party or any place where their "friends" are, don't make a scene. Try to be as subtle as possible (i.e. have your child wait outside and just get them and drive off). I know you may be tempted to break up the bad behavior, but honestly, it may be better if you don't. The kids will not listen to you! (calling the police anonymously is a different story, this will work if the case is extreme enough). Also, your child will appreciate you not embarrassing them. They are much more likely to call again if they need help if they know they can trust you not to embarrass them.

 

-DO NOT YELL about what happened. The last thing I wanted to hear that night was my dad screaming at me for being at a party where drinking was going on. While we did discuss how wrong that is, my parents also told me many times how proud of me they were for realizing I was in a bad situation, and doing something about it.

 

In the end, nothing will help more than bringing up a child in a manner so that they know how to be responsible, but do every little thing you can to help. It's so cliche, but you as parents probably realize your kids will one day appreciate you, because I'm sure you now realize that your parents were just trying to help you.

 

 

I agree with you, we quit drinking several years ago but we did let our kids have a taste once in a while. They hated it! It worked out perfect. My now 18 year old daughter expresses the same thing as you. She says that it's the reason she doesn't drink now. It wasn't taboo so she doesn't need to experiment.

 

We also had the talk with all our kids..if you are ever in a situation where you have been drinking, or need to get out of any situation you don't want to be in...they have an excuse and a code phrase that let's me know they are in trouble. I've promised them that there will be no yelling, we will talk the next day about it but their choice to call me won't ever be cause for regret. That shows huge maturity to admit you screwed up and humble yourself enough to call the parents.

[bplazo]

I would suggest that if you have an early excursion planned that you try to make sure that your teens do not stay out to late. This was my major problem with my daughter and her friend, not wanting to get out of bed the next morning. It was ok on sea days but port days I like to explore the islands and it made it difficult with grumpy teens.