Urgent Help Needed

[southwinds]

Too late you put your mind at rest but we had Force 12+ winds of over 85knotts and waves hitting deck 10...

we were all fine and so was the ship.

[LibraLass41]

Yes but sheer fear being in that storm for someone who is scared must be terrifying,:(

My friend gets it so bad she has to be sedated by the Dr on a cruise.

[frogsgirl]

Hi Alan

 

I'm sure you will be on your trip now and I hope your wife is coping. If you read this when you get back please feel free to pass on to your wife.

I don't tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and this is cruise critic not a counselling board but this post struck a chord with me and I felt compelled to respond...here goes...:o

I suffer panic attacks and until 4 years ago they were debilitating, I faced a worrying decline and the probability of having to go onto medication to help me cope with day to day life. Like your wife I did not want to go onto medication and did not want to impart my fear onto our son.

I would not fly, drive/travel anywhere for the fear of fear and having the panic attack. Everyones fear is different and only the person feeling it can know what that truly feels like.

By chance I discovered hypnotherapy and with the guidance of an experienced hypnotherapist and my determination to not let fear rule the rest of my life I was controlling my fear within 4 sessions.

I never say it won't happen again and indeed I have come close to a full blown attack on a number of occasions but I have used the knowledge gained by hypnotherapy and informative, practical websites which give a down to earth way of explaining the physical dynamics of fear that I am now in some control.

I wish you and your family well and I hope your wife gets her fear under control in the near future.:)

 

Frogsgirl

[peaceyfamily]

Hi Alan,

Although my panic attacks are not to do with sailing, I have them during thunderstorms and my two children have witnessed these whilst growing up, however, it has not in any way made them scared, in fact, they stand at the window and watch them whilst shouting to me to breath!!!

 

I am going on my first cruise in 10 days and am constantly checking weather forecasts as I really don't know how I will cope if there is a thunderstorm whilst at sea.

 

I hope your wife manages to stay calm and tht you all enjoy your cruise.

 

Good luck, Nikki :)

[mk0572]

I wonder if hypnotherapy or accupuncture might help. It is clearly something that your wife needs help with and maybe something of a more "alternative" nature might help. On a more practical note, I always wear wristbands to combat sea sickness and they work wonders for me. Whether it is a placebo effect or not I can't say.

I wish you luck, as we all do, and try not to let the stress get to you

x

[USERINUSE2]

Can't see the point of finding what the weather will be like 'cause if you find it's going to be rough she'll NEVER get aboard. She definitely needs to see a good hypnotherapist and get it sorted that way. I do have sympathy about the flying,,,,I hate flying, but love cruising even when it's rough!! :D

[Alan Flett]

Hi all.

 

Not sure why I am replying to my thread after nearly a year has passed but I never updated everyone who replied to me with what happened with our cruise.

 

We went to bed the night before the cruise and she told me she couldn't go and was sorry. She asked our daughter if she wanted to go on the cruise or in a caravan and she picked the caravan! This is due to the fact she had a Sylvanian Family Caravan and thought it would be like that (she was 3 at the time).

 

We got up early the morning we were due to travel and for some reason she asked our daughter again but this time she said the cruise. This was probably because my sister and my Mum were going too and her little cousin. My wife said it was too late now as we live about 4 hours from Southampton and hadn't really packed at all.

 

Well our daughter started crying like Joan Crawford and saying she wanted to go. To cut a long story short we ended up packing and dashing to Southampton and ended up on the cruise.

 

At the end of Muster we had to stay behind whilst my wife asked a senior officer the chances of sinking. To be honest he was excellent and reassuring.

 

Once we set sail I gave my daughter a big hug and kiss as she was the reason we were there.

 

Overall we had an excellent cruise, the weather was mostly ok but crucially the sea was very calm which was her worry. She was very nervous the first day or so which was understandable but hid it well and in the end thoroughly enjoyed it. I was proud of her.

 

We are not cruising this year as we are expecting our second child but have booked on Ventura next year. I think (and hope) last year was a blip and she remembered 2 rough sea days.

 

Once again I thank everyone for your replies at the time and didn't want to think I had just forgot even though it is nearly a year on.

[Host Sharon]

Thanks for the update. I am glad you got to have your cruise. Perhaps over the next year or so your wife can explore other coping strategies so that if/when you decide to cruise again the build-up won't be quite so stressful!!

[virginvirgo]

Really glad you had a lovely cruise and your wife overcame her fears, your little girl sounds a star. Good luck with the new baby :D

[alvin moondust]

There have been a few silly and unreasonable replies so far I think.

 

The solution to your problem has to be via referral from her GP for some form of CBT (Behavioral therapy) There are also online CBT programs you could look at.

 

Its very hard for someone to appreciate this sort of thing when they do not experience it themselves. My girlfriend suffers from similar anxiety type issues which did affect our cruise, She isnt claustrophobic but has to sit on the end of the row, or near the aisle in the restaurant so she feels that she has an escape route, she didnt like being in our lovely stateroom alone because she visualised falling from the balcony.

 

She also has to travel across a large road bridge a couple of times a week for work and this has started to cause her anxiety because she feels she has no escape route if the traffic stops, she could avoid the bridge by doing a ten mile detour, but I feel that once she does that she has lost the battle against her fear.

 

Please do everything you can to make sure you go on your holiday, If you cancel because its the easier thing to do then you may find it affects everything you try to do in the future.

 

Nic has used online CBT and had sessions with a counsellor to try and help her with her issues, so good luck to you both

 

Steve

[poppy123]

Firstly congratulations on the new baby. Thank you for the update and so pleased your wife managed to go on the cruise. The crew are always very happy to answer any questions and offer reassurance. Long may you and your family cruise.

[susieh]

Just been surfing for P&O comments and came across this thread.

 

To the OP I wonder if you can tell me anything you did which helped your wife stay calm when you were discussing her problems. I ask because my husband also gets panic attacks and twice now we have got to the airport and then come home again because he 'couldn't get on the plane'. We almost missed a cruise from Southampton too - he agreed to go only 3 hours before she sailed (we live in Portsmouth so were able to get there in time!)

 

On all three occasions I knew he was feeling stressed in the days before our trip but I just couldn't get him to talk about it without it leading to a big row which just made him worse.

 

On both airport occasions we ended up flying the next day (catching the ship up for a cruise on one occasion).

 

He loves flying so it isn't that - in fact he doesn't know what makes him feel like he does. But when he feels so stressed that he 'can't' get on a plane he doesn't care about anyone else's feelings or upset. The doctor has prescribed vallium to take to prevent him getting to this 'state' but he won't take them - he only agrees to take them AFTER we've come home from a failed trip to the airport. And if I try and talk about it when I see him getting stressed about a forthcoming trip then we just row - hence my original question to the OP.

[Gilpet]

Congratulations on the new baby news Alan and I'm glad you got your cruise last year. You seem to have your wife and daughter's welfare as your main priority and I hope that you wife's fears can be dealt with to enable you continue cruising.

 

Gill