Anyone else have a partner who complains about the tipping, attire???

[jsol1979]

I have never taken a cruise before, my BF and I are planning on one, taking his kids. Well, the more I talk about the dressing up for the dinners and the tipping, the more irritating he is getting - lol. He can't fathom paying a tip of $100 to the waiter or the room steward for the week (for a 7 day cruise). I feel that they are doing a service for you that you don't have to do yourself. And I told him we didn't have to eat in the dining room every night, but he could live through a couple times (he can wear the same clothes every night for all I care - lol). I dont' know how to convince him that it is totally normal for these things. I should probably just take care of the tipping myself at the end of the cruise and he will be none the wiser!! He is excited about it in general and stuff, but when it comes to these two things, its frustrating on my part, because these are the guidelines of cruising. Does anyone else have this problem??

[ckrobyn]

I have never taken a cruise before, my BF and I are planning on one, taking his kids. Well, the more I talk about the dressing up for the dinners and the tipping, the more irritating he is getting - lol. He can't fathom paying a tip of $100 to the waiter or the room steward for the week (for a 7 day cruise). I feel that they are doing a service for you that you don't have to do yourself. And I told him we didn't have to eat in the dining room every night, but he could live through a couple times (he can wear the same clothes every night for all I care - lol). I dont' know how to convince him that it is totally normal for these things. I should probably just take care of the tipping myself at the end of the cruise and he will be none the wiser!! He is excited about it in general and stuff, but when it comes to these two things, its frustrating on my part, because these are the guidelines of cruising. Does anyone else have this problem??

 

I just believe that a tip ( anywhere - in a restaurant or hotel etc) is directly related to the service you receive. On a cruise, in the vast majority of cases, your cabin steward will take care of your every little need ( refilling ice buckets, snagging you a robe amongst other things!) We were impressed with our cabin steward - our cabin was always made up when we returned from breakfast - they just seem to know when you aren't there :rolleyes:

 

As far as the dining room goes - I'm quite sure that your boyfriend tips in restaurants, why is tipping on a cruise ship that much different. Sure the cruise is "all inclusive" in the sense that your food is part of the cruise fare - but you also have to consider the level of service.

 

I'm not trying to tell you what to do because it seems as if you already understand from what you said in your post. Keep working on the BF and hopefully he comes around :confused:

If he still doesn't "get it" tell him to log in here and we'll explain it to him!

[dms_cruisers04]

jsol, I feel your pain. I have a BIL that is that way EVERYWHERE! He thinks a 15% tip is for service above and beyond. He's been on 3 cruises with us now and either we make him pay his tips upfront or I just don't ask about it because it infuriates me. And as far as dressing for dinner, if he could get away with coming directly from the pool on formal night, he would. And it's not like he doesn't know any better, he's a senior level manager at his job, has his master's degree in mechanical engineering and has to travel to China frequently where he meets with people that consider dressing down as wearing a gray suit to work instead of navy or black. I just don't get it.

I think you're on the right track with the tips. And ask him to dress for dinner for you. Good luck.

[wrp96]

7 meals at a nice local restaurant. Assume each person spends about $25 each night on meal (appetizer, entree, dessert, non-alcoholic drink) at a minimum of 15% tip that would be $25 per person in tips minimum for the week. And if you have good service it is now recommended that you tip more than that if possible.

 

Now realize on a cruise ship, that if you actually paid for all that you ate (or at least most of us) you would be paying for at least one appetizer (possibly more), a soup, a salad, an entree (maybe two), plus desserts, plus coffee, iced tea, etc., which is much more than you could get for $25 at almost all restaurants at home. Then think about the fact that on a cruise (in most cases) you will get a waiter/assistant waiter who will remember your preferences, like having your iced tea or wine waiting for you when you arrive, knowing that you want pepper on everything, bringing you something different when you don't like it even if it's not on the menu, bringing you everything on the menu when you can't decide. Plus your waiter will perform for you throughout the week.

 

The same goes with your cabin steward. He doesn't just clean your rooms (and heck he deserves a tip just for cleaning up after me). He will get you ice, get you things that aren't necessarily in your rooms, he does the cute little towel animals, and all other sorts of things that you don't necessarily see.

[Honeybear]

My DH is probably the same way. I think the best way to handle this situation is to split the meal-times with him, by dressing up for the Dinning room half of the time and the is go to the other restaurants half of the time. Of course you must go to the Dinning room for the Captain's Dinner.

 

As far as tipping, Have a great time, by not causing any waves (pun intended lol). Just pay the tip yourself. It's not worth a disagreement on your vacation. Besides when he sees everything the waiter/assistant waiter and your cabin steward does for you, he'll understand a lot better.

Just have a great time, things like that can be worked around.

[ald3114]

My spouse and I went on a family cruise (family of four). He complained that he should not have to tip the same amount for our 7 year old kid as he would for two adults and a teenager. He explained it to one customer service person and then had to explained it to another, meanwhile we held up the line. I was embarrassed, but I understood his point. So we only prepaid for three tips.

 

This cruise, the argument if formal night. He is a jeans and sneakers guy and doesn't care dress up especially on his vacation. I being the opposite enjoy putting on formal attire.

 

My husband complains. A day doesn't go by that he doesn't complain about something (work, our vehicles, food, service he received or the bills). I and the kids are used to it. When he starts to complain, I usually walk away and let him fight his battle. He wins some and he loses some.

[caviargal]

My spouse and I went on a family cruise (family of four). He complained that he should not have to tip the same amount for our 7 year old kid as he would for two adults and a teenager. He explained it to one customer service person and then had to explained it to another, meanwhile we held up the line. I was embarrassed, but I understood his point. So we only prepaid for three tips.

 

.

 

I truly cannot understand his "point". From what I have seen, kids are messier and more troublesome than many adults and the waiters more than earn the small tips the cruise line suggests.

 

IMHO, this is tacky.

 

But then so is wearing jeans and T shirts to any decent restaurant, anywhere.

 

I just do not agree.

[dosp]

These are the same folks that cause so much pain in planning ANY kind of special event: weddings, funerals, the occasional circumcision (sp?). Everything is ALWAYS wrong, and what everyone is suggesting is always wrong.

 

Get them drunk. Help them retrieve winnings from the slot machine (they rarely like to interract with others at tables). Give them 2 of their 500 coins and say "WOW you WON!!!!" Use this to not be embarassed.

 

Despite what the lovely Robyn told you, if he does NOT come around, e-mail me his address and Cousin Guido will see that he meets "wit an unfochunit accident".

 

Seriously, we all need to get along, or get an aluminum bat.

[N.FL Cruisers]

I think once he sees how wonderful you and the family are treated it won't be an issue. I probably would not bring it up or load him up with reasons to tip and put him on the defensive. I bet hands down once he sees how hard everyone works he probably will get the picture. Good luck and I hope you enjoy yourself!

[ERsecurity]

Sounds to me like you should find a new BF. One that respects you better and is more reasonable. I am sure he will never change.

 

I would not cover the tips without him knowing it. This man is hurting....

 

Just sign up for automatic tips and see if he changes it. You will have yours and he will have the rest.

[as41shots]

My advice is to run while you still can.

[as41shots]

Looks like John (ERSecurity) and I had the same thought at about the same time.

[hdawson]

It's a fact; cruising is not for everyone.

[dosp]

Thank you both, but I still like my idea of the bat.

[Soxfan05]

We have 2. My mom's hubby is anti-cruise. Doesn't want to dress up, be told when and where to eat blah blah blah. Dear Uncle, complained that you have to shell out for everything blah blah blah. He used to cruise for free as a TA and would NEVER pay to do it. blah blah blah

 

How to deal with it?

 

Dear brother and I booked a cruise for both our families and are taking my mom. Stepdad and dear uncle are staying home to water plants. Mom will truly be pampered. :D

[VABeach]

Sounds just like my DH and FIL. Two peas in a pod. Drives me nuts. It's amazing how much fun it takes out of everything.:(

[Honeybear]

jsol1979,

 

No, no, no, don't give up on him for this. My DH is a lot like that but I wouldn't trade him for anything. There are things a lot more important than tips or how he likes to dress. How does he treat you and his children?

 

My DH doesn't like to cruise at all, so much so we lost our money on the last cruise because he didn't want to take off work to go. So, we had to cancel after the final date. I figure if it was worth it to him not to go, he sure shouldn't be forced. In return, I am going on two cruises this year with a friend and then later with DD.

 

Just enjoy his good qualities and have a great time.

[bplazo]

I dislike cheap people who do not tip or leave less then the recomended unless the service was terrible. Shame on the person who did not want to leave a tip for their seven year old. Children in most cases are alot harder to wait on than adults(they make a mess, cant decide what they want to eat, etc).

 

When I was dating and a man left no tip or a bad tip there would be no second date. Boot him out!!!

[Arizona Cruz Chic]

Theres one in every family...trust me! Weather its a BIL SIL, BF or GF theres always one who creates this type of problem..not just in cruising but going out to dinner or doing family get togethers...theres always one who you want to just about knock some sense into them :D :D

 

 

***

[dosp]

I am truly sorry that Honeybear believes that its ok for her DH to delberately STIFF others who work for a living. He does not want to "dress up" for vacation because he HAS to every day. Not that his company, co-workers, boss or clients deserve it...he just HAS to. He would rather go to work than cruise with his "DW".

 

Yes, this is normal behavior. "Well it's true, he DOES EAT HIS CLIENTS, but he's very nice to me and the kids."

 

The OP has a BOYFRIEND. NOT a relationship worth saving. If it hurts to enjoy yourself BEFORE you are married, cut it out like a disease.

 

Maybe then we can reduce the 50% failure rate in marriage instead of putting on blinders to unacceptable behavior to others in our society.

[Shanafan]

I am not quite sure how to word this...but I will give it a try. When I see how my Hubby treats other people he doesn't know.....and he is always pleasant, it makes me realize I snagged one of the good ones. If a person can give a smile to a stranger, say please and thank you to a stranger, hold a door open for a stranger, ect....apparently that person has a good heart.

 

When we go out to dinner.......which we do several times a week.......and to fairly nice places.....not your average chain dine in places he always leaves a 20% tip ( assuming the service was decent.....but when you treat people decently, they seem to do the same in return ) and on top of the 20% or so he tends to round it up a couple bucks......those couple bucks are not going to make or break us, but it sure does put a smile on someones face......and we find that doing something to make another person feel a bit better about their day.....well......it makes us feel better about ourselves.

 

Knowing these people sign up for 6 months or so and are away from their family to give you the best possible vacation, is it really worth penny pinching? Pinch them somewhere else.......like the casino, cocktails, excursions, cigarettes........

 

Just my opinion

[dosp]

Yo Shana-

 

Nice to see you again! DITTOOOOOOS to you.

 

Of course, you said it in the non-caustic way that I am totally unaccustomed to....:eek:

[babs275]

Isn't is funny how many people pay $5.00 for a cup of Starbucks coffee but will scoff at tipping someone decently?

[Shanafan]

Yo Shana-

 

Nice to see you again! DITTOOOOOOS to you.

 

Of course, you said it in the non-caustic way that I am totally unaccustomed to....:eek:

 

And where have you been??? Haven't seen your smiling face in quite some time! Welcome back! Or in case you've been around and I missed you.....sorry I missed you.

[Shanafan]

Isn't is funny how many people pay $5.00 for a cup of Starbucks coffee but will scoff at tipping someone decently?

 

Oh how very true that is! I have to wonder how they justify being cheap.