"Live" from the Costa Victoria, a monthlong B2B from Shanghai to Singapore

[barante]

It’s interesting how we view one another.

 

For centuries, the Russian word for Germans has been “nemets.” That’s what they have been called ever since Peter the Great recruited them to modernize his backward serfdom. Literal translation: “deaf,” “dumb.” That’s what the natives thought of them because those Germans did not speak or understand the local vernacular.

 

Costa has built a somewhat weird but ultimately successful brand by catering to a European market where the common denominator, despite different languages, is the passengers’ shared Europeanness. A huge flag is painted on the Costa Victoria side. It’s not an Italian flag; it is the flag of the European Union. Multilingualism thrives in Europe where many speak several languages. One of the highest-rated television programs each year is the Eurovision song festival. Pop stars from different countries perform in their native language. No one minds.

 

But, hey, we are in Europe no more. What do you do when the bulk of your passengers consists of people who do not necessarily understand any of the five languages that Costa commonly uses on their ships?

 

Here Costa struggles. Chinese is the man language of those passengers, although a number of them may be of Indian origin, Filipinos, or Japanese.

 

As a daily routine, Costa sticks to announcements in European languages. There may be periodic announcements in Chinese only, but that seldom happens.

Today, the ship’s daily information sheet, is distributed in European languages. Menus are also in those languages -- which all waiters and waitresses can handle to some degree. The menu contains some Asian dishes, but you must be able to order in a European language. At a table near us, that means that a woman who speaks some English orders for the whole table of eight. This infuriates the waiter who has no idea about who is supposed to receive the various items.

 

Costa is trying to cope. It has hired lots of multilingual waitresses from China, who are pretty to look at and competent in their jobs. There is also a matronly babuska waitress for Russians. She is a nice, personable lady but she looks like a kolkhoz milk maid in a Stalinist movie. (The story line: A handsome young man, a udarnik -- “shock worker,” sees her driving a tractor. He falls in love with the tractor).

 

The cruise director, by contrast, ignores the Chinese speakers and introduces shows only in European languages.

 

Here is where Costa tries nonverbalism. A few vending-machine like totems are posted around the ship. They have all kinds of icons. Once you select your language, including Chinese, you are supposed to buy all kinds of services from that machine. Want a massage? Press an icon. Want an excursion or shuttle ticket? Press an icon, specify what you want, select the number of people, and stick your Costa card in. The machines, after making a few unintelligible sqeuaks, spits out your tickets.

 

The problem is that for this nonverbal service, a verbal invitation is needed. Costa does a poor job in publicizing the existence of these machines or explaining their use.

 

Another Costa oureach involves the use of an animation team. They are in essence a group of multilingual mimes from the entertainment staff, including at least one Chinese speaker. They try to convey their messages nonverbally.

 

Neverheless, most evening shows consist of Eurocentric entertainment. Music that all Europans know. Or American hits of a certain vintage that are our shared global heritage. Rock’n roll and Village People.

 

Then there is Kip Reynolds, the ultimate in nonverbal entertainment. He is “a famous international artist from Las Vegas,” a very talented juggler and comic who needs no explanation. We had seen him before, performing to a largely European audience. Last night, he did SRO only shows before a predominantly Aisan crowds. They were thrilled and enthralled.

 

Part of Kip’s routine involves choosing people from the audience to serve as his straight men (or women). That may be tricky before people who may be offended if they are forced to play the fool in public. Last night Kip cannily selected audience members who were game and loved to perform.

 

Let’s raise a toast of coconut milk to Kip!

[barante]

Here I am in Singapore typing this in the departure lounge. Over the past three days, the Costa Victoria Internet has been out of service for more than 24 hours. "Temporarily" but repeatedly.

 

I said earlier that the Victoria's Internet was quite fast. I also reported that it did not tell me how much time I had left. I then apologized for making that claim. I now take that apology back, because the timer works only intermittently. It's also difficult to find; it is not part of the automatic logout process as it is on HAL.

 

I don't know why we have had these Internet blackouts, but I have idea. The Costa billing system is all screwed up. On our 17-day first leg I bought 10 hours of Internet time but Costa billed me only for 3 euros worth. That's what their record shows.

 

As a cruiser I am delighted at this bargain. As a Carnival stockholder I am appalled.

[BoughtMyPoints]

 

Then there is Kip Reynolds, the ultimate in nonverbal entertainment. He is “a famous international artist from Las Vegas,” a very talented juggler and comic who needs no explanation. We had seen him before, performing to a largely European audience. Last night, he did SRO only shows before a predominantly Aisan crowds. They were thrilled and enthralled.

 

Part of Kip’s routine involves choosing people from the audience to serve as his straight men (or women). That may be tricky before people who may be offended if they are forced to play the fool in public. Last night Kip cannily selected audience members who were game and loved to perform.

 

Let’s raise a toast of coconut milk to Kip!

 

There you have it, the shout out for Kip. It's amazing how he knows precisely whom to pick for his tour de force ending, where he is catching objects thrown from the audience with his teeth.

[barante]

At Port Klang, the gateway to Kuala Lumpur, we shared the pier today with Celebrity Solstice. It rained in the morning and would rain again during the hot and humid afternoon.

 

Here is the reality: There is no penny-pinching way to get to KL if you are here only for a day. We could have -- but refused -- to take a Costa excursion at the cost of a minimum of $140 pp. Instead, after taking the free shuttle bus to the port’s gates, we planned to take the electrified commuter train -- until the mafia confronted us, demanding $20 each way to the Klang railroad station a couple of clicks from the port.

 

I have never seen a more ruthless taxi mafia. There were about 60 taxis outside the gate. There were few takers, but they kept their extortion racket on. They demanded $100 for rides to KL and back.

 

It wasn’t the extortion price alone that upset me but also their behavior. If you asked any of these drivers for the price, they refused to tell you. Instead, they hailed an enforcer who gave the price. When one driver gave an independent offer to a group of Canadians, the enforcer threatened and intimidated him to the degree that the Canadians also felt uncomfortable and walked away.

 

I got so upset that I told a bunch of drivers that they were nothing but “Dushmen,” the Central Asian term for Islamic cut-throats in Afghanistan. They high-fived and hollered, proud that someone coming so far away recognized their professionalism.

 

The clock was ticking. The truth was that even if we got a lowball offer to the commuter station, we probably would have to spend two hours each way. One on the train, another waiting for it. And then hire a cab in KL. So when a cab driver some distance from the gate offered to take us to the station for $15, we grabbed him and then renegotiated the fare into a $80 tour of Kuala Lumpur. He was a nice middle-aged man of Chinese extraction, knowledgeable and able to speak understandable English.

 

We saw the main attractions and at each stop encountered shipmates who were on Costa tours.

 

KL, in parts, is a delightful city. The old Railway Station, with its cupolas and Islamiic touches, in particular is breathtaking. What a cruiser needs to know, though, is that traffic from and to Port Klang is murder. In the morning, a “lorry” had overturned on the road, spilling its cargo. More than four hours later, that traffic was still stacked up. So be forewarned. In general, the road is totally inadequate for the volume of tractor trailers and car carriers that traverse the distance.

 

Our cab ws a beat-up 2004 Proton. Proton was developed several decadss ago as a controversial national project. It was premised on the theory that Japan would soon be too developed to produce cars. So Malaysia wanted to become to car manufacturer to the world. Never happened, of course, because South Korea was faster. And now China and India.

 

The majority of cars in Malaysia are Protons, which enjoy both price and tax advantages. But those who can afford buy Toyota or some other import.

 

Back to traffic. It will be an increasing nightmare because the whole one-hour distance (if you are lucky) fetween Port Klang and KL is being developed. Villas, townhouses, condos. Factories and shopping malls.

 

Odds and ends:

 

Our previous leg had 1,700 passengers, the one that began yesterday in Singapore only has 1,000. The ship feels very roomy.

 

Today’s papers sing paeans to Sultan Johor Sultan Ibrahim, who is celebrating his 54th birthday. New Straits Times has a 20-page supplement hailing the birthday boy, who also is praised in ads scattered elsewhere in the paper. He looks like a jolly felllow, well-fed and with a triple chin. He is wearing a ceremonial uniform with all kinds of medals and orders, golden braids and a gold sash and what looks like a golden sword.

 

To honor him, on this Costa Victoria gala night, I wore a Chinese tunic I bought in Vietnam. It has lots of red embroidery on black, and red cuffs. On the back is more embroidery. Dragons.

 

Several Chinese guests complimented me. These kinds of tunics, kimonos really, may be found in Hong Kong and Vietnam and, perhaps, Thailand. But stores in Singapore or Malaysia don’t sell them. Too old-fashioned, I guess.

 

We had ordered our food at the gala dinner when an assistant maitre ‘d came to tell us about an unlisted special: Thanksgiving turkey. My wife ordered it and prounounced the bird, the cranberry sauce and trimmings satisfactory. I stuck to Oriental noodles with seafood.

 

When we got to our cabin, there was a note from the captain wishing us a happy Thanksgiving. Along with a fruit plate. As soon as we got in, there was a knock on the door. A complimentary bottle of bubby and petit fours.

 

It pays to be a friend of the sultan.

[Bill B]

On our 17-day first leg I bought 10 hours of Internet time but Costa billed me only for 3 euros worth. That's what their record shows.

 

As a cruiser I am delighted at this bargain. As a Carnival stockholder I am appalled.

 

I hope you don't experience a different type of cognative dissonance when you get your account statement at the end of the cruise and find they have rectified the mistake... by adding three zeros.

[barante]

If you have a chance to visit Malacca in Malaysia, by all means take advantage of the opportunity. This historic seaport -- also known by its Malay name Melaka -- is eminently walkable, containing layers of history left behind by successive colonizers. Malays settle there around 1400. Then came the Portuguese, Dutch and Brits. Malacca also received large influxes of Chinese and Indians.

 

Malacca is a tender port. We took one as soon as a morning shower passed. In mid-afternoon, we had another shower; that’s seasonal weather for you.

 

We hired a bicycle rickshaw for an hour (roughly $15). The poor fellow did an admirable job ferrying two fatsos. We saw some of the main historic sites and ended up spending some time in Chinatown. I later returned there on my own to see antique shops and temples. In my next life I may want to be a Taoist. I like their weird and colorful temples and the smoke from incense-burning joss-sticks.

 

There was another reason for my return. During the rickshaw ride I saw signs that promised some stinky fruit I have always wanted to try. The fruit is called durian. As it ripens, the hairy fruit emits a disgusting odor. Regardless, aficionados brave that smell because the fruit inside is prized as a delicacy.

 

Well, it turned out that durian was not in season. The signs I had seen only advertised some durian derivatives. One shop offered durian ice cream. In the end I decided to patronize Laoqian Ice Cafe on Jonker Street. For about a buck and a half I got a good-sized snowball that had durian fruit at the bottom. I devoured it and liked it.

 

Odds and ends:

 

Turns out that my friend, Sultan Johor Sultan Ibrahim, is not the only sultan celebrating. The Star today contains quite a spread about Sultan Ahmad Shah Sultan Abu Bakar’s birthday bash. Among well-wishers were 800 cyclists from all corners of Malaysia who participated in a 40 km race in his honor. What grabbed my attention, though, was a picture of an Evil Knievel-like Army motorcyclist in mid-air, jumping over some 13 prostate soldiers lying on the ground. The soldiers looked unhappy, but no one got hurt.

The Star also reports that the authorities have begun fining female hairdressers who cut the hair of non-Muslim male patrons, violating the law of gender-separation. Businesses are not happy. “The council, in its zest to implement Islamic principles has caused hardship to the non-Muslim business community,” one owner complained.

 

We’ll arrive in Singapore tomorrow for another turnaround. We’ll sail with an all-new load of passengers embarking a one-week cruise. . .

[barante]

We are back in Sngapore for our final turnaround. I am happy to report that Costa listened to all criticism about the Marina Sands Convention Center drop-off pick-up point. Our shuttle took us today to Marina Bay MRT station, a totally nonconsufing location. MRT trains leave from that station. At the convention center, the station was a few hundred confusing yards away in a complex that was too big to figure out.

 

Does this really matter? It sure does. Buses idle at the cruise terminal but for pickups they just arrive, load and depart. Thus you'll never find them if you don't know where the pick-up point is.

 

 

The MRT station has other advantages. Regular city buses stop by the bus stop, including a loop that goes to Orchard Street. Also city buses going to the Cruise Centre stop by if that proves faster, or in the evening shen shuttles stop running.

 

Celebrity Solstice shared the pier with us today. As far as I know it did not offer a free shuttle.

[barante]

Whatever Coata’ s business model is, in the case of our 7-day sailing to Kuantan, Malaysia, it isn’t working. Although we have Bangkog (or Pattaya) and Koh Samui as coming attractions, we must be down to 700 passengers. Perhaps even fewer. The ship is empty. A second show at night has been canceled, and yesterday’s, featuring acrobatic gymnasts, was half-full.

 

So that means fewer disappointed passengers. Because today’s stop in the Malaysian freight port of Kuantan was the pits.

 

For one thing, the port is in the middle of nowhere, 17 miles from town. There is absolutely nothing, not even a Coke machine, witthin a mile.Knowing this, Costa sells it excursions for more than $100 pp. Knowing this, and that those excursions are not available on the day of the arrival, the taxi gangsters demand $80 for a roundtrip and $10 for each hour of waiting.

 

We are not able to cruise two months a year because we pay such prices. We started hiking and eventually found a local who took us around for $40 total. We asked to be taken where tourists go. The first stop was a street in downtown Kuantan deadending at a beach. On your left was a McDonalds, on your right a KFC. In the middle a Seven-Eleven. We saw Costa buses also taking passengers to experience this local flavor.

 

 

It got worse. A group of Russians had come, intending to plant their national tricolor in the sand. When a saleslady at the Seven-Eleven expressed shock at their request to buy beer -- which many of that franchise’ stores sell throughout Asia -- they should have been forewarned. Instead they proceeded to the beach. They encountered plenty of white sand, but not a single chair or lounger. Or changing facilities.

 

If you want those amenities, your best bet is to beeline to one of the international beach hotels, which sell alcobhol. Of course, you have to pay for that. Or stay on the ship. (There is shoreline some 400 yards from the ship; in fact there is shoreline everywhere. But it’s not a swimming beach).

 

I wanted to taste some grilled fresh fish. We stopped at a seafood restaurant. But no one had ever heard of “grilled.” Instead, the menu had crab with a fish bladder. My wife ordered two prawns (bsby lobsters, really), which came fried. I ordered hot and cold seafood, an assortment of good-sized shrimp, clams, and shrimp rolls. No napkins were offered. This seems to be the standard in these parts. You are automatically brought a package containing a chemical towellete (for which there is a charge). There was a wash basin in the dining room, probably to satify restroom customers because there was not one there.

 

We declared a victory and headed back to the ship. On our last sailing, everyone was coughing. Now, we are too. In Singapore yesterday I bought some Chinese herbal medicine. I have no idea what it is. So far it has not killed me, or made me worse.

[black forest]

Thanks barante. Your reviews are so interesting and easy to read, very entertaining but very informative at the same time. I learned a lot of that one from Port Klang for our next cruise and therefore know that I will book with Costa. Enjoy your trip and I am waiting for tomorrow!

[koolkruiser3043]

Hello,

 

First time cruiser here from the US. We are doing the cruise from Singapore to HK in December/January. We are travelling with our 7 year old daughter for the cruise as Costa offers great discounts for traveling with children. You stated that no children were allowed in the pools? If there is minimal children was the kids club even available that you are aware of? We lived in Europe prior so the food doesn't bug us at all. You stated the power strips with the US plug (3prong?) I saw the post about the power strip being banned so we can not bring our own? Singapore sounds daunting all people keep stating get a taxi but looks like that is harder than I thought to do.

[barante]

No problem with your kid in the poo, as long as you are with her.

 

Our cabin came with a three-outlet power sttrip, presumably put there by Costa. It is hooked into a three-pronged outlet. We also have a tea kettle, cups and bags.

[barante]

The captain wears black.

 

It’s a nasty day outside: warm but rainy. We are sailing toward the port of Laem Chabang, Thailand. We’ll get tomorrow morning. Having been before to Bangkok, two and a half hours away each way, we booked a nice room instead in Pattaya, some twenty minutes from the port.

 

Three things to report.

 

One. My Chinese medicine truly works. I’m feeling much better, whereas my wife, a smoker who refused to take any, still coughs like crazy.

 

Two. We checked out the kiddie room on the Costa Victoria. I can’t remenber the exact hours but in principle it works in three time blocks that give parents some free time in the morning, lunch/early afternoon and evening, from 6 p.m. to 10:30 p.m., I seem to recall. It is staffed by members of the Costa animation team, who can communicate without using any language. Life is a game.

 

Three. Captain Alfredo Romeo made us all bubblied up. He invited us to an 11 a.m. cocktail party “for our Double Cruises guests.’ We are at least double, if not triple, having boarded the ship in Shanghai Nov. 1.

 

Since there were only about 30 guests, we had a chance to chat with several Costa people. One was an Australian, another Italian, a third one Russian. Among pieces of classified information we squeezed out of them was that the few Americans that sail on these itineraries are not particularly liked because they tend to be difficult customers. Their characterization, not mine. “They always threaten to call their lawyer,” said the Italian.

 

We know what she means. Last night an American gentlemen caused a ruckus in the dining room. He had a window table for two, just like us. But in the middle of the meal he started yelling. “I want to see the maitre’d, and today, not tomorrow.” Before the maitre ‘d, or a fascimile could be produced, he was on his foot, thumping his cane on the floor and repeating his demand.

 

“Don’t destory the ship,” I told him, when he passed our table. “I’m aggravated,” he responded. Who knew.

 

I hope his Asian wife/girlfriend, a younger woman, was impressed.

 

I don’t know what the man’s problem was. It seemed to be something minor -- like not getting exactly the table he thought he deserved during open seating. Over the past month we have always had ours, but, then, we had a chat in the beginning with the maitre ‘d who made sure our request would be respected on our monthlong cuirse . We were nice and respectful.

 

Tonight is another posh frock night. I thank CC member Goldryder for introducing me to that term. I don’t see any recent posts by him but he took a long voyage on the Victoria from South America to Italy more than a year ago and reported that the ship is better than what many reviewers claim. Agreed.

 

Posh frock. The term for opulent has a nice ring. The etymology of the word POSH, by the wary, is as follows: During the British rule of India, the coloninists followed this mantra, if they were in a position to choose on the way from Merrie Olde England: Port out, starboard home. Posh.

 

Lastly, and this is an exclusive. Worldwide. We now know a secret about our master, Captain Alfredo Romeo.

 

“Look,” my wife said as the captain departed our table, wearing white. “The captain wears black drawers.”

 

Indeed.

 

I flashed one of the knowing smiles for which I am famous.”His name is Romeo,” I confided.

Edited November 26, 2012 by barante

[CostaSmurfette]

Glad you are enjoying Vicky...and posh frock nights ;)

 

Sadly Goldryder was banned last year for defending a crewmember who was being "got at" on another part of CC, so she isn't around anymore unfortunately.

 

Enjoy the rest of the cruise :)

[koolkruiser3043]

I noticed your post on the kiddie room. I appreciate the feedback as for us this is a vacaton for the whole family with lots to see. With many reviews providing critism for the Vicky you Sir are keeping me on my toes of what to expect. I am proud to say we will be kind to the staff as its a table and you eat no reason to fuss really. We shall enjoy the beginning of the dry season I can only hope from your comments. I am curious if in fact we are doing 3 cruises in the same manner you are. My agent mentioned something along the lines of it but didn't really clarify. It seems we end back in Sinapore 3 times so much to my belief it maybe a few short cruises before it heads for Hong Kong. Enjoy the rest of the trip.

[barante]

wishes to Goldryder, wherever she may be lurking.

Edited November 26, 2012 by barante

[barante]

We have taken about 17 cruises; I am too lazy to count them now. Since retiring, we have favored long cruises, and try to spend two months a year cruising. To achieve this, we use our flexibility to take advantage of opportunities others may overlook.

 

We ended up with a month on the Costa Victoria because, at the time of original booking, it offered a better China/Vietnam itinerary than any of its major-market rivals. We go by the itinerary, and price. We flew into Shanghai, the starting point, four days early. We stayed at the Broadway Mansions for three nights because it had an unbeatable location on the Bund and offered a very good deal for an executive level rriverview room, with free breakfast, Internet and some afternoon/early evening snacks.

 

Most Americans wouldn’t give a second look at the Broadway Mansions. It’s not new, it’s not flashy, it has no recognizable chain affiliation. Be as it may, we would happily stay there again. It is a perfectly modern and comrotable throwback to Shanghai’s colonial twilight before the Japanese invaded. Two downsides: The nearest Metro is a good walk away, so are most restaurants. In any case, regardless of what your preference, Shanghai has outstanding deals.

 

The China/Vietnam/Hongkong leg was 17 days. It included an overnight on the ship in Shanghai, an overnight in Halong Bay Vietnam, in Hong Kong and Singapore. We love overnights. The overnights represent value to us.

 

We added 14 days to that itinerary. When we booked it, the itinerary was better, with overnights in Laem Chabang (Bangkok, Pattaya) and Koh Samui. Costa later monkeyed with itinerary, splitting it into three different cruises totaling 14 days. But since the price for the total was also halved, we stuck to the booking.

 

Here are some tips for successful cruising. On any line, but particularly on Costa:

 

The cruise is you. Go with the flow. As they say in any anger management class: Don’t sweat over things you cannot change.

 

2. We had read enough about Costa to lower our expectations. In many cases

those were exceeded. The food was foreign but mostly delicious. Last night I had chicken soup with red dates (with seeds). Strange but delicious. If an Americanized menu is a nonnegotiable, stay away. Ditto if television is important to you. The best you may get from Costa is Euronews, which repeats its 30-minute English newscast in a never-ending loop. As for films, a Macau channel often has nondubbed American films with Chinese subtitles.

 

Figure out when the ship offers a good deal. We thought a daytrip to Saigon, with Costa, was good deal. It was our first ship’s tour ever, but it packed quite a bit into a short time. With a great buffet lunch atop a restored landmark hotel restaurant, it came to 59 euros pp. The arrangement freed us from worries of getting back to the ship on time. Had we been more confident and knowledgeable about Saigon, we might have taken advantage of Costa’s unbeatable $7 roundtrip shuttle.

 

Costa also offered a reasonable shuttle from the shop to Langkawi and back. That way you don’t have worry about the taxi mafia, which is nasty and stupid.

 

We have never spent as little money on onboard services as on Costa. We find drink prices far too high. Worse yet, my wife’s two pina coladas and some whiskey sours show that Costa has the weakest drinks in business. In pina coladas, they must not even add rum. As on our previous month-long HAL cruise, I have stopped drinking coffee, except when I find an agreeable spot on shore. Costa has provided us with a tea kettle and plenty of free tea and Nescafe in our cabin.

 

In port, leave early and reserve plenty of time for return. Or as they say in Africa:: hope for the best, prepare for the unexpected. I cannot overemphatize this enough. Unless you have the information -- prereably written in local language -- most cab drivers don’t have the slightest idea where your cruise ship might be. In most destinations, English is not spoken.

 

We never thought about this before. But we now always carry the ship’s contact information with us. In any unforeseen emergency that’s the only way to contact the ship. In Asia, you are classified as a retard if you don’t have a cell phone. Not even the police is interested in finding out who your ship’s local agent might be. Up to you.

 

Take advantage of the unique facilites your ship has. In the Victoria’s case, they include a free gym and spa with a good-sized indoor swimming pool (for adults only) and both Finnish sauna and a Turkish steam room. Free lockers are available; lots of loungers and plenty of towels. This was particularly valuable because weather-related issues reduced the usability of outdoor pools, which also on occasion were overrun by children.

 

Be respectfull and kind to the help. They work very hard for very little. Your kindless will be rewarded.

 

You may feel you own the ship. Bad news to you: Carnival does. Your legitimate complaints are acted on. But if Costa has to close ranks, it will. Thus our American passenger who decided to take a principled stand (for him) in a dining room ruckus over seating, was told to stay where he was. Properly castigated, he took a different window seat last night. A free legal tip. As any competent lawyer should tell you, you can sue, but won’t win.

 

10. Costa may make sense in the Italian context but often doesn’t in the American. The buffet restaurant, which we use mostly for breakfast, is poorly laid out. Choke points have been created by design. Orange juice is dispensed by a temperatmental machine. Yesterday morning, one was covered in the area where we were seated. I simply walked to the other side, where the machine was working. Go figure. Or ask the European Union.

[barante]

We made the right decision -- for us, two aging people -- by skipping Bangkok (which we have visited) and instead revisiting Pattaya. Pattaya is only 30 minutes from the port so it is far easier. We prebooked a cheap, good-sized room at Baywalk Residence on Beach Road. In the center of the action. It is just across the beach, and has a good-sized rooftop swimming pool.

 

Now, Pattaya may not be your cup of tea. It is full of old white men -- some on crutches -- holding hands with girls (or boys) young enough to be their great-grandchildren. In fact, the number of gay bars and ladyboys has greatly increased. Additionally, many Thai men (in Pattaya or in general?) seem to have confused sexuality. But, hey, that's their problem.

 

When we left the ship at Laem Chabang, I got the surprise of my life. One reason Thailand is such a nice place to visit, is the don't worry-be happy attitude that usually reigns. None of that was evident at the cruise terminal. It may sound unbelievable, but in this country of money changers there was no way to change dollars at the cruise terminal.

 

That was by design. That way you have to take a cab from the taxi mafia and pay in dollars.

 

I was all ready to get seriously peed off, when a nice couple from Hawaii suggested we share a cab to Pattaya. That we did. $20 each couple, one way. Still too much, but not that bad.

 

Since we were still battling our colds, we got some medicine and then decided to rest in our room and watch television. After nothing on the Victoria, dozens of channels in all kinds of languages. Including HBO. Karate Kid, subtitled in Vietnamese!

 

At lunch time, we asked the front desk for a recommendation: Ruen Thai, 485/3 Pattaya Second Road.

 

I strongly recommend Ruen Thai to any cruiser who makes an overnight-day stop in Pattaya. It was quite deserted at lunch but it was hopping when we returned for dinner at 8 p.m.

 

Ruen Thai resembles traditional Thai village buildings. Its draw at night is that in addition to food, it offers free entertainment. Kickboxing, an acrobat with flames, traditional Thai ceremonial dancing. My wife only ordered spring rolls. I ordered a grilled cottonseed fish, a sweetish white fish which was delicious with rice. One water, one Pepsi, two pina coladas, two whiskey sours plus our food came to $37. It was a nice way to spend an evening.

 

I first visited Pattaya circa 1985. It's a pretty crazy city, full of trinket sellers and goodtime girls. But Thais are such nice people that who cares. It provides a welcome contrast to the sedateness of the Victoria.

Edited November 28, 2012 by barante

[barante]

We still have a few hundred nautical miles to go, but our monthlong cuirse on the Costa Victoria is coming to an end. Time to sum up.

 

Are we happy that we took this gamble on a line that gets lots of grief from cruisers accustomed to U.S.-formatted lines? In general, yes. Costa did what it promised. It gave us a superior itinerary at an affordable price. It got us from point A to point B and so on according to planned schedule. There were periods of utter organizational chaos on the ship. But in the end everything pretty much worked to our satisfaction.

 

Would we take Costa again? Not likely, although who knows. There are better run alternatives. But at the time we booked our two B2B cruises, that was not true. We wanted to see Shanghai (overnight on the ship), several stops in Vietnam (one overnight), Hong Kong (pvernight) and Singapore (overnight). At the time of booking, the second leg was supposed to have included overnights in both Bangkok and Koh Samui. The latter overnight was later scrapped when what to us had been sold as continous 14-day leg was split up into three shorter shuttles from Singapore to Malaysia and Thailand. Koh Samui is pleasant, and worth all the time you can spend there.

 

I hope that we’ll be in a position to return once more to Southeast Asia. Shanghai is unbelievable and so is Vietnam. Malaysia is bizarre, a distant also-run among Asian tigers. You go to a beach only to find out that mixed-gendered swimming is against Islamic law. Go figure. Hong Kong is thought-provoking, Thailand fun.

 

On our next cruise we will not book an itinearary that ends in Singapore. We haven’t gone thriough customs yet, of course, but that place has far too many regulations and charges that are too stiff for my liking. Such as proihibitive taxes on every pack of cigarettes brought in, and outlandish penalties for anything discovered undeclared.

 

Also, for the time being the new Singapore cruise center can be a traveler’s nightmare: difficult to find and in the middle of nowhere. That all will change in a few years when the huge land-reclamation project is completed, with elements that include a tunneled under-harbor bypass of the downtown area.

 

Confusing though it may be in its own ways, I might consider Bangkok as a debark alternative. Cheap, good hotels, great food, affordable cabs once you avoid the mafia. Banking services that enable you to change your unspent paper money, in any currency known to mankind, into bahts (or any other currency, for a price). Today’s Singapore is not only uptight but expensive, particularly hotels, for what you get.

 

Since we went mostly by the China/Vietnam itinerary and had to fit this month into a schedule that calls for another month of cruising and land travels in Europe in April, we did not research the probable weather as closely as we should have. As a result, we had periods of rain -- sometimes very heavy -- almost every day.That’s where’s the Victoria’s free spa and indoor pool come in handy. Overall, for various dermatological reasons I have to avoid direct sun.

 

Our el-cheapo inside was okay, once a cabin attendant figured out how to properly separate a queen-sized bed into two and create more navigation space. That the first attendant could not do it in a logical way speaks volumes about Costa’s lack of training. Fortunately, Erwin, a smart guy from the Philippines who was assigned as raa a replacemen for reasons unknown, immediately saw what his thickskulled predecessor’s problem was and rearranged the beds without us even asking.

 

We were not as lucky with mattreses. The worst sleeping experience on our more than 17 cruises. On our next-to-final night, I almost got punctured by a wayward spring that popped out of the mattress.

 

Carnival should send undercover management consultats to survey the Victoria’s disorganization. Our arrival in Chaem Labang (Bangkok) was a hair-raising example. The daily news sheet thad instructed that it was mandatory for those overnighting independently in Bangkok to give a prior notification and get their passports. That sounded so simple. Except that a retired Singapore M.D., who was traveling with four generations of family members, including a 95-year-old, had to come to the front desk on three occasions over two days to try to straighten that up. One clerk said never mind, another said come back later. On the morning of arrival, he spent more than an hour at the desk, trying to get his passports which he had ordered the night before.

 

I was in line behind him, with a Russian woman elbowing in from behind me and screaming in fractured English. “How long? What time? When, when?” Having lived in Moscow for five years and knowing something about the sharp Russian elbows, I told her in Russian, “We are in line.” That set her off. “I am also in line,” she screamed back. Apparently she had been at some point but was now just butting in and going crazy because she expected to leave the ship at the 8 o’clock arrival time: “I have a driver waiting.” she screamed. Nastoyashaya dura.

 

So why was I in line? Because it turned out that not only those overnighting in Bangkok but also in nearby Pattaya had to collect theri visas. Wish Costa had told me that earler.

 

These kinds of stories are a legion. I pity the front desk personnel who have to wake up every morning to the reality of forthcoming confusion and being abused by many passengers. There must be a better way to run a cruise line.

 

Finally, food. We sure did not lose any weight. And many selections were tasty, albeit unusual. Not only are most American standby choices absent, but the pereparation is different. Costa’s idea of chiecken sald ia a chunky offering, with bones still in the bird. Ditto for chiicken soups. We never had real steak on the menu during our month. The per-fee restaurant may have had it, but at $37 pp. it’s not likely to be worth the experience. In Pattaya, I saw tht there is a Sizzler steak house -- remember that U.S. chain? -- attached to a pretentlous chain hotel on Beach Road.

A word about entertainment. Quite pedestrian, even in terms of the low standards of cruise entertainment. The only news channel in Englsih on cabin television replays a 30-minute program for the next 24 hours. The only English movies come from a station in Macau, which has them subtitled in Mandarin.

 

When we told a nice, Italian Costanette that our next cruise would be a transatlantic plus Baltics on MSC, she mocked us as “traitors.” After that we’ll go Carnival and then probably HAL. We go by itinerary and price. It is nice to have options.

[Bill B]

In Pattaya, I saw tht there is a Sizzler steak house -- remember that U.S. chain? -- attached to a pretentlous chain hotel on Beach Road.

 

The Hilton in Pattaya offers a 300 baht lunch buffet everyday except Sunday. Each day has a different theme (I remember Tuesday is 'Italian'). They offer a fantastic variety of salads and a huge selection of desserts. A great deal.

[koolkruiser3043]

Costa is no lavious hotel on water. You are right its all about the itinerary. I worry cause Costa told us unless we are staying overnight or disembarking in Vietnam not to get the VISA in advance. I wonder if this is at all true. I guess we shall find out soon. Less than 30 days till we enjoy 2 long weeks on a cruise ship I can only hope has got their stuff together soon.

[barante]

Costa is right. You will need a visa only if you go to Hanoi on an overnight trip, an arduous journey. Technically you may also need a visa if you take an overnight Halong Bay boat trip, although that may be flexible. If you overnight on the ship, you just take a tender in and out and exit and enter by showing your Costa card. No problems.

 

We found that we saw enough of the Halong Bay kirsts from the ship, when we departed in the afternoon (the entry is very early in the morning when it is still dark). So we didn't even take a small-boat excursion. Up to you.

[barante]

For going ashore, the Vietnamese issue you a landing card. That, with a Costa card, gets you in and out. No sweat.

[AnonymousCruiser69]

Omg. Just off the mediterranea, catching up on this thread while waiting for my flight home. I'm laughing my butt off reading the comments about co. Thankssta. Too true. It is what it is. Thanks for the laughs!

[barante]

It's 4 a.m. Sunday at the Singapore airport and Santa Claus is coming to town. After roughly 24 hours of flying, we'll be in Baltimore after 2 p.m. SUNDAY. Delta is flying when you are.

 

I thought I had made a reservation at Perak Hotel in Little India. Not so. Looked like an interesting place, though, surrounded by all kinds of eating options and sightseeing.

 

Instead, it turned out, I had booked with Fragrance, a budget chain with properties all over. Fragrance Sapphire was in Geylang. Our cab driver fairly refused to take us. 'You want to be with prostitutes?" he kept asking. "Too late, I already paid," I countered. I finally had to shut him up by telling him that prostitutes was the very reason we booked there. My wife rolled her eyes.

 

If you cruised in a Costa inside, Fragrance Sapphire wasn't much of a letdown. Barebones but far better beds than on Costa. Soundproofed rooms. Would I stay there again? No. In terms of available food nearby, our Geylang location offered only Chinese and some Arab/Malay chow. How I longed for Indian! In general, Singapore is quite a difficult hotel city. Small, expensive rooms which you seldom can take full advantage of if your flight back to the U.s. departs, as they normally do, before the city wakes up.

 

The Geylang night scene was colorful and still in full swing when we checked out a 3:30 a.m. Lots of beautiful young women still hanging on streets, none of them able to speak English but desperate as hell. We had preboked a taxi. This is advisable. Many ordinary taxis could not handle our two suitcases and carryon bags. According to a local rule, all luggage has to fit the trunk. . .

 

So there you have it. Next stop: Baltimore.

[black forest]

Barante, thank you for your daily report about your monthlong cruise! I enjoyed reading very much!

 

Have a safe return home!