Should we let our 11 year old have sign in/sign out privileges?

[kelbre]

He will be 12 @ the end of April but just not sure what to do about the sign in/ out option for his group. We will be in the Emerald Princess in March. I am pretty sure he will most likely be at camp or with us. But I know there might be a few times where he wants to go get ice cream or to the pool or play basketball with his friends. We had a peek at one of the patters from a different ship and he knows he doesn't want to do any arts & crafts stuff, lol! He made that quite clear. I just don't know if I am comfortable with him wandering the ship if he's not with us. I had a thought to still sign him in/out but give him a time that he wants me to meet him. My daughter & her friend are both 14, I know they will hang out with him a bit too, and he will make lots of friends that he will want to hang out with. I just worry a little as he is a bit of a follower and worry that he'd get himself into trouble. What do you all do with your kids @ this age??

[cb at sea]

There's no need to let him "wander" the ship...but you can allow him to come and go to specific places within a specific amount of time.

 

Make plans daily, so he'll know where to find you. Tell him he MUST physically come to you before he goes elsewhere, and it has to be a good reason...like getting an ice cream or drink, or going to the sports deck for an hour....

 

I wouldn't allow any of my kids to simply "wander"...whether it's on a ship, or anywhere!

[mommaof 3]

I tend to think that if they walk home from school alone, then they are probably fine. I mean it's about the same level of risk and responsibility. But, at the same time I'm not particularly comfortable with kids being alone. I've seen tons of kids get in trouble for taking breakfast orders off doors, push all the buttons on the elevator, etc. - so clearly there is a wide range of what people feel is mature enough. And the reality is that you can trust your child, but do you trust everyone else on the ship?

 

When we go next our middle child will be a 11 and in 6th grade and she is very mature. But, she has a younger sister who is 8. So, my plan is to take them to and from the kids area together and not allow her to sign out. We'll use being a good example for the little sister to skate the issue, lol. If she makes friends and wants to spend time with them, we'll have to deal with that and I'll worry the whole time.:o Part of them growing up I guess!

[Roxymax]

DS is 13 and going on the Easter cruise with us and his older sister. We really don't have a problem with him with acting respectful and appropriately in social settings; he lets me know where he is all day long (and the GPS tracker does confirm his phone is were he says it is). So we will allow him some lattitude with the coming and going issue esp since his older sister and him are close, and they like to do things together (aren't we lucky). Well they don't like to play sports together, but they will run errands all over town as well as work hand in hand on a chore without much discord. My issue lies more with the ability to charge to the room. The older sister gets it is just like using my atm card so she will be careful; but the boy doesn't think about costs just what he wants for the moment.

 

I wonder if we can allow his sister to sign him in and out....:confused:

 

Not trying to steal the thread, but if anyone wants to comment on what to do about a 13 year old male charging to his sign and sail type account on celebrity....I would love to hear about it along with the check in check out comments. Thanks!

[Warm Breezes]

Depends on your child. Is he responsible? A lot of kids at 12 are responsible enough to babysit, I know I was. IMHO if they are responsible enough to watch other children by themselves then they are responsible enough to check themselves out.

 

We have 2 kids that have been on 9 cruises. They only did the kids clubs a handful of times total in those 9 cruises....they just didn't like going. Their main problem was that they were in different age groups all the time and they preferred to hang out with each other rather than a bunch of strangers. Once DS was 12 we let him go to/from places as long as we knew where he was going and he knew where we were going to be. Most of the time he took his sister who was 9 (and not allowed to go on her own) with him. But the rule was for adults and kids....everyone know where eveyone else is at and if they changes then you have to let the other party know where you are going to be. This could be done by finding them in person or if they were in some activity/show/spa leave a note in the room. This way we could check up on them and they knew where to find us in an emergency. There were other rules as well....no going in someone elses room, no one was allowed in their room, and only drink drinks that they get themselves and have kept with them. DD was allowed to go off on her own at 12 too. But the same rules applied and again most of the time they took off together anyways.

 

This is what has worked for us. DD is now 16 and DS will be 19 on our next cruise. DD is bringing a BFF on our next cruise. Our rules will be that DD and BFF will need to stick together at all times. Rules about rooms and drinks still apply. No getting off the ship without us and we will be doing excursions and have dinner together. DS is now an adult and can do as he pleases :D. I have a feeling DH and I will be seeing a lot more of him than usual though. That's ok...we will be taking our 25th anniversary cruise 2 months later on our own and will have plenty of privacy time then;).

[KatieCharlotte]

Our sixth grader was not interested in Camp Carnival and more interested in hanging out with friends he made on the sports deck. We gave him increasing independence during the cruise and basically let him go to any public areas with his friends, as long as we had some idea where he was. He knew he would lose his privileges if caught doing anything wrong, and we randomly checked on him. We had no issues.

 

It does probably depend on the child. He is pretty responsible. He sometimes stays home alone for short periods and is free to "wander" our neighborhood. He is responsible for getting himself ready in the mornings and for completing his homework without supervision. I notice that he grows in maturity and responsibility when we grant him some independence, and I think it's important for a child's development into an independent adult, as hard as is it for us protective parents. :)

[crusinmama06]

I gave sign out privileges a couple of years ago when my daughter hit the tween group. However - in the beginning I still met her whenever she signed herself out. I always know where my children are on the ship at all times. There is no "wandering". ;)

 

You do what you are comfortable with. I am not comfortable with not knowing where my kids are.

[dijid]

Depending on what ship you are on, some activities may require sign-in/sign-out privileges for participation. I was hesitant to give my just-turned-10 year old the privilege years ago, but she really wanted to do the ship scavenger hut. Our compromise was to grant them the day of that activity, and that she had to wait for us to show up at other times before she could sign herself out. (BEcause once they were granted, she had to be the one to sign herself out - we couldn't anymore.) Now that she's a teenager, it's not an issue - there's not choice LOL!