2008 Cruise News Predictions

[sjbdtz]

I'd like to Add....

7 day Cruise for $179!!!!

Plus $250 taxes, port charges, fuel surgarges, autotips, smoking fee, non-buffet dining fee, mandatory "fresh air fee," toilet paper charge. Passengers have the option to take sore excursions through the ship for 250% of rack rate or disembark 1hr before sailing.

 

 

This just goes to show you....ALWAYS read the fine print! (see above)

[nealstuber]

This just goes to show you....ALWAYS read the fine print! (see above)

After the ATV's in Belieze, I'm still sore!

[LBLB]

You are missing your calling. You should be writing a book . What a witty talent you have!

[robsvacation]

One Last Story:

 

 

Not so Close Port of Call

The NTSB today released their final report on this summer's incident involving Cunard's newest liner, the Camilla II. In June, a malfunctioning navigation system resulted in the ship missing the intended destination of Bermuda all together and only by chance happening upon the Portuguese Madeira Islands five days later. Confirming earlier speculations, it was interference from cellular telephones that caused the navigational miscalculation.

 

“The ship was hosting the annual She Sells Sea Cells (S3C) Mobile Communications Symposium, and as such there were unusually high call volumes on board” reported Cunard representatives. “Through all this we have only the highest praise for the citizens of Funchal who, despite finding an unexpected 90,000 ton visitor in their harbor, managed to provide our guests with a wonderful day in port. The Diamonds International and Columbian Emeralds stores were open before the first tenders arrived, and within an hour bus tours, snorkeling and Scuba excursions, a sunset catamaran sailing and even a party boat with all the 'poncha' you could drink were all on offer”

 

“I think there's a lesson here for all those people who forget to turn off their cell phones on an airplane” commented one of the report's authors. “Me? I double check now!”

 

With this final report confirming earlier concerns, it appears unlikely that the current cell phone ban on cruise ships will be lifted anytime soon.

[MonaCK]

Okay - I avoided clicking on this for a couple of days, and finally did so today. Hysterical! :D

 

Please don't Jump the Shark - keep 'em coming! :D

[beth4652]

How wonderfully funny --- and non-malicious. Thank you.

[willamanthea]

Some people have WAAAAAYYY tooo much time between cruises. :p

[robsvacation]

It's been a lot of fun putting this together. If you want a copy of the stories I did just send an email to robsvacation99@yahoo.com, I've set up a "vacation message" which will automatically reply with the stories in the message itself.

 

I have to admit one thing has stumped me: the infamous gold by the inch. Try as I might I can not think of a way of working that into a story! Consider that a challenge!

[jt1120]

Standing ovation. My favorite parts are not the stories, but the names of the ships. Here are some that have been passed over for others:

 

NCL Germ (they dropped the "r" and called it Gem instead)

 

Genesis class: Titanic of the Seas. It was better than Deuteronomy of the Seas, Ecclesiastes of the Seas, and they're still considering Revelation of the Seas.

 

HAL: the Gawd-dam (sorry), based out of New York.

 

Rainbow Princess with a pink paint scheme. Too froo froo.

 

Crystal Chandelier - too obvious.

 

Carnival Rabbit (because their ships seem to multiply)

 

Costa Lotta (dropped for obvious reasons).

 

Celebrity Status

[jt1120]

I have to admit one thing has stumped me: the infamous gold by the inch. Try as I might I can not think of a way of working that into a story! Consider that a challenge!

 

Costa Adapts to Metric System

 

Costa Cruises announced today that, effective immediately, to be more in line with their Italian themed ships, they will change their "Gold by the Inch" vending to "Gold by the Centimeter." The first ship to be affected by the change is the Costa Lotta.

 

OK, I'm not as good, but you get the idea of where I was going.

[grumpycajun]

If you don't write for a living... you should. I'd buy the book. Thanks!

[BikerAl]

WMIMTV FLASH

 

The NCL Peril is being held by 2823 rioting passengers after returning from her 9 night Southern Caribbean cruise and docking at her scheduled 6AM time. According to Max Suesalot, a passenger, "the cruise was perfect, and not one single customer had anything to complain about." He stated "it was Un-American, and just one more example of NCL's greed, as no refunds, future cruise or onboard credits are being offered".

 

In a related story, Host Post_mover, reported a full day of zero posts on the NCL message board. Two posters, bitchabouteverything, and nclcandonowrong, reportedly have started a rival web site in protest, as they feared a reduction in their post count would make them feel less important.

[Seago2]

Oh my GODDDDDDDDDDDD that was hilarious.

 

No worries about jumping the shark at all- you ain't even near where Fonzie moves into the garage.

 

DUDE, that was really good. If you happen to weave Stingray City in, can you please touch on pax bringing Milk Bones from home to feed the Stingrays?

[tess2cruz]

Everyone

 

Cruising A La Carte

EasyCruise, the maverick cruise line known for its rock bottom prices with passengers paying for just the services they need, has revealed details on their newest ship, the EasyDoes-It. Shunning the unnecessary luxuries of traditional cruise lines, 3-day cruises on the EasyDoes-It start at $10 per person, double occupancy. Passengers can purchase additional options such as electricity for $15/day, running water for $10/day and air conditioning for $16/day. "The type of passengers we attract do not want the frills of a traditional cruiseline" replied Stelios at a news conference held in an EasyCinema today in London, UK . "Old people like that stuff! We want young, active, adventurous travelers who are interested in our destinations and aren't impressed by things like soap and mattresses." Itineraries on the EasyDoes-It will be announced approximately one week prior to sailing.

 

You were warned!

 

Hey Rob, stumbled on this thread and it was great, especially the abouve quote!! I just stayed at an Extended Stay Hotel that DID this, $10/day for room cleaned, $5 for clean towels, etc. I did change hotels!!

 

Just wanted to say hi, (Teri from Elation 9/06) I am cruising Solo this next month, probably wouldn't have even thought about it if I hadn't met you. Thanks

PS my signature is wrong, can't edit it for some reason, going 4/24 on elation again. :D

[WE LIKE TO CRUISE]

hi: that was great. i had good laugh!! thanks:p

[Azure Moon]

Awesome job robsvacation and everyone else who added a story!

The scenarios, people names, and ship names would be perfect as part of a game. A few more "headlines" and other adventures of cruising and excursions and you'd have a decent length game.

Just think of all the fun it'd be to play this on board - your choice, lido deck or game room. :D :cool:

 

[cv322]

So good, so good, so very very good, Robsvacation! You are clearly a very talented writer, and I hope you continue. I don't know how I missed this thread back in December 2007, :p, but am happy to have found it now!

 

I would definitely "buy the book".

 

More, please!

[slotaddict]

Every morning before I start work, I come to CC to read what I have missed overnight. This is truly hilarious, thanks for the laugh.:D

[Stillfloatin']

It's been a few months now, how about some more? Gotta feed us Robsvacation junkies! :D

[tess2cruz]

just keeping it current for entertainment purposes:D

[Seago2]

"Hoppy berth bay two views" is the funniest thing I have ever read on CC!

 

For those of you just tuning in, you MUST go back and read the OP- well worth your time!

 

:D

[Kwynot]

Just read robsvacation as well & was peeing my pants! :p I forwarded this to my dad who will be sailing on RCCL in a few weeks (1st cruise since the USN back in the '50's) and told him to read it today, and re-read it when he returns. He'll get many more of the jokes at that point. :) Thanks for the entertainment. I'll keep watching! KWynot

[tess2cruz]

This is too funny to let it slip from the first page!!! How about some more contributions????:rolleyes: