Bringing a companion helper.

What is the normal compensation if you have a "helper/companion" to assist with personal needs. Where do you find some one to do this? I'm NOT talking about ship personel, but hiring some one to be with us on the trip.

Would they stay in the cabin with us? ( window suite ) would we need a separate cabin for them? Monitary compensation? Airfare, hotel, pre/post cruise. Etc, Etc.

What is the normal compensation if you have a "helper/companion" to assist with personal needs. Where do you find some one to do this? I'm NOT talking about ship personel, but hiring some one to be with us on the trip.

 

Would they stay in the cabin with us? ( window suite ) would we need a separate cabin for them? Monitary compensation? Airfare, hotel, pre/post cruise. Etc, Etc.

What level of help do you need with personal needs?

When are you going? During school break?

How long of a cruise?

Will they be required to push a manual wheel chair?

Will they be required to bath you?

Will they be required to feed you?

You used the word "us", if you are different sexes, then a separate cabin would be nice.

We did one vacation when our kids were small and brought along a HELPER with us.

She was an older girl from just up the street.

We provider everything for her. A private room, food, transportation, admissions etc.

She was not on duty 24/7, just an extra pair of eyes most of the time.

She did watch the kids one night while we went to a show.

We did not pay her, but did give her some jewelry to say thank you.

She was thrilled with the free vacation.

I would look for a college student or a health retired person.

Jack outlined a lot of the questions that I had, too. Answers about compensation would depend entirely on how much you were expecting this person to do, and at what level of care. And whether you got a separate cabin or not would depend on the level of intimacy and privacy you need or want, and what the caregiver would demand. If you're needing care 24/7, then you'd need to compensate accordingly -- it would not be a vacation for them, but *work*. If you were looking for some "respite" for one of you -- the attendant would care for the other person for a couple of hours a day, or do very specific tasks -- you might be able to offer less.

I'd think at any rate you'd need to pay for transportation to/from the port, the cruise, hotels if you flew in early or stayed over (and expected the person to meet you there and assist in the hotel).

Is there a family member that might assist you, say a niece/nephew? You might be able to "hire" one of them for less than a professional caregiver.

• What skill levels are required . Is it just a general companion that will have very little to do but is therefor your peace of mind and or to get you some time to yourself or do you need skilled nursing care ?
  
• Are they required to dress, bath and attend to other personal needs ?
  
• Will lifting and transfering be required as that's a specific skill required so as to avoid causing any harm to the person being lifted/transfered and the person doing this needs to be properly trained so as not to cause harm to themselves.
  
• Will they be responsible for keeping track of and administering medications ?
  
• Is feeding assistance needed ?
  
• Are they required to be available 24/7 ?
  
• Will they be required to be with you when going into port ?
  
• The list of questions continue on again depending on your expectations and the level of assistance required
  

Suggest you make a list of what your your needs are and your expectations of this companion first. Though it was previously suggested that perhaps you could ask a family member or friend but that would be dependent on the level care expectations. Many family and friends are not comfortable with assisting someone they know other than their own children with bathing and other personal needs.

Some costs to be considered :

• Transportation to and from the cruise including pre or post cruise hotels.
  
• Cost of the cruise . It would be better to get ajoining rooms ( door connecting the two rooms ) rather than having the person stay in the same cabin as you. Cost of a solo cabin includes a surcharge as high as 200% depending on the cruise line and specific cruise.
  
• If you expect the person to stay in your cabin what type of 3 person accomodations does the room offer ? Is the person required to climb up to a pullman or does the cabin have a sofa bed ?
  
• Depending of the skill level required you might have to pay an hourly wage and if that person has to be available 24/7 than the wage would most likely be considered .
  
• If lifting and transferring is required than for your safety and the saftey of the person doing this function you need to to consider renting a Hoyer Lift.
  
• Cost of shore excursions and meals/snacks in port if the person is required to go with you.
  
• Cost of specialty dining on board if you require the person to go with you.
  
• Basically any costs that might be incurred when the person is required by agreement or contract to be with you.
  

You need to be be very clear on on your expectations and those expectations be clearly discuss with the person you decide to take with you.

Good luck hope you're able to work out something to your satisfaction.

would like to know how you solve this challenge without using family/friends help. please post when and if you are able to do this. good luck to you.

OK, Here goes. Oscar had Polio at age 9mo. He is now 70, and experiencing severe post polio syndrome. He uses a quantum 6000 power chair by pride, an electric patient lift ( like a hoyer lift ), oxygen 24/7, Bi-pap, bedside comode, etc.

Here is what I do - everything!! Seriously He feeds himself but I prepare and bring his food to him, drinks throuout the day ( no arm stringth to do it him self ). He uses an external catheter because he can not get up and down out of his chair ( I'm sure lots of you may do the same.) I change it out every 3 days. To shower he must be moved with his lift from the bed to the shower, and needs some one to bath him ( that's me ). Same senerio for potty chair. Clothes are put on in the bed, then transered to chair via slide board. Sleeps with bi-pap and oxygen, so that is delt with morn and evening. Some times if he is tired he uses it for naps also.

So - - - what do we need done? Some one to do the dressing and getting up most days. Maybe bath, maybe assist with catheter and or bowel regime. Somone to allow me some free time to go to gym, spa, or just to go hide from the world.

Probably 2 to 3 hours a day. Gender, he really doesn't care!!! Cabin, we don't care, but could not afford anything fancy. If they brought someone with them, would be OK with us, but the onboard expenses we would not pay for.

Mainly my endurance is letting lower and lower, but we just are not ready to stop cruising, so are looking for ideas. Family members, so far no one can get away to help. We drive always, so would have to work out arrangement about transportation.

I just need a respite, but don't want to put him in a facility.

Check out local social service agencies to see what they recommend for an assistant. I know my best friend hired a personal companion for her father to do a lot of what you describe, but in his own home. This man was hired from a local agency that provides licensed and bonded companions. That part is really important---they absolutely must be licensed and bonded.

I would interview at least three or four to see what/who would mesh with you. You will need to set up guidelines for their services and specifically spell out their hours of work. Of course, you'd need to provide a number of hours of down time. If you go via an agency, it's usually a per hour thing, but you can probably negotiate a daily rate that would be less expensive. You would also have to specify that any onboard expenses are solely the responsibility of the caretaker.

Not so sure if you'd be comfortable having a virtual stranger sharing a cabin with you. Even accessible cabins are small, and it seems most cruise lines don't allow three to an accessible cabin. So you'd have to go with two cabins, and I would put the companion in an inside cabin.

Ms Ann,

My heart goes out to all those like you who are both loving spouse and caregiver. Oscar is truly blessed to have such a wonderful person in his life.

Even though it might be only for 2-3 hours each day , the level of skill would still require someone that has been specifically trained . Kitty9's advise is on point. Hope you find someone that fits your needs, that both you and Oscar are comfortable with and that works within your budget.

FYI - RCCL has several HC cabins that can accomodate a third person, but I still think putting the person in a nearby inside cabin or an adjoining cabin would actually make for more of an enjoyable cruise .

Wishing you well in your search.

OK, Here goes. Oscar had Polio at age 9mo. He is now 70, and experiencing severe post polio syndrome. He uses a quantum 6000 power chair by pride, an electric patient lift ( like a hoyer lift ), oxygen 24/7, Bi-pap, bedside comode, etc.

 

Here is what I do - everything!! Seriously He feeds himself but I prepare and bring his food to him, drinks throuout the day ( no arm stringth to do it him self ). He uses an external catheter because he can not get up and down out of his chair ( I'm sure lots of you may do the same.) I change it out every 3 days. To shower he must be moved with his lift from the bed to the shower, and needs some one to bath him ( that's me ). Same senerio for potty chair. Clothes are put on in the bed, then transered to chair via slide board. Sleeps with bi-pap and oxygen, so that is delt with morn and evening. Some times if he is tired he uses it for naps also.

 

So - - - what do we need done? Some one to do the dressing and getting up most days. Maybe bath, maybe assist with catheter and or bowel regime. Somone to allow me some free time to go to gym, spa, or just to go hide from the world.

 

Probably 2 to 3 hours a day. Gender, he really doesn't care!!! Cabin, we don't care, but could not afford anything fancy. If they brought someone with them, would be OK with us, but the onboard expenses we would not pay for.

 

Mainly my endurance is letting lower and lower, but we just are not ready to stop cruising, so are looking for ideas. Family members, so far no one can get away to help. We drive always, so would have to work out arrangement about transportation.

 

I just need a respite, but don't want to put him in a facility.

Hi I have my DSW (Developmental Support Worker) Diploma and I did this kinda care in a independant living environment when I was working before my kids.. I went on a paid vacation with one of my clients. I had my own room, and he paid for all my expenses - meals, admissions, airfare etc... I also got paid $50 a day (13 yrs ago) as I wasn't needed "alot" He needed help showering, and pushing a manual chair - but he toileted himself and fed himself but I had to cut meat up as he had CP and shook too much. He drove (better then my dad thats for sure) through the Rockies... I was with him the whole time but I had my own time but I didn't go anywhere..

With the amount of help that is needed and care I would look for a DSW worker or RN or personal care attendant and see if a paid vacation would work with some compensation per day $100 and only require them for maybe 8hrs of a day throughout the day??

Jenn in Canada

We have traveled with my mother's regular PCA (personal care attendant) before. She lives in normally, and gets a monthly (not hourly) wage, so when she travels with us we pay all her travel expenses (airfare, ground transport, cruise or hotel, etc.). If she goes with us on tours or to museums, etc. and assists my mother, I pay her way for that too. When she goes off on her own (while I take care of my mother) she pays her own costs.

For people who are looking specifically for this type of job, you are best to bring someone from your own town where you can do some training (and evaluation of their suitability) before your trip at home. If you hire from an agency, they will do much of the deciding about pay and perks. If you hire on your own, you MUST pay for a background check and make passing this a condition of employment. Don't skip this step.

You might want to check out this site for some information on finding travel PCAs:

http://www.disabledtravelers.com/travel_companions.htm

(KLD)

Well, so far I've spoken with Easter Seal, and they are sending me a list of different kinds of care givers. Believe it or not, there may be ( big May Be ) some helpwith the expenses. There are grants out there for all kinds of things. Some you would not believe!! Although we are not looking for the monitary assistance.

Also spoke with the Hospice group his mom had, and they also will be sending lists. Church has spoken with their social worker, and have yet to get back with me.

Actually the assistance he would like to have all falls under the certified Technition catagory. No meds, No wound care, no IV infusions, etc. Just basic bathing and dressing. Other than that mostly just being there with him.

Any way, we'll see what develops. Next cruise is in November for his 70th B-Day. Others are next year.

More updates as they occur.

Also, check with Medicare, if he's on that. My friend's dad's Medicare pays some of the charges for his PCA.

Ms Ann - I am the caretaker for my DH with advanced MS, and I also am the only one who does all the things you mentioned. No one but me can help him with toileting, showering, and dressing. Naturally, I do everything around the house, too. And I work full-time, but most of my work can be done from home.

This means I can't be away from him all day or overnight, but it does not mean I can't be away for 2-3 hours. I do that all the time. If your primary concern is with helping him drink when he is thirsty, there is certainly a solution to that. I'm thinking some kind of cupholder on the side rail of his bed or chair, and a really long, flexible straw.

Any family caregiver needs "me" time, and you sound as though you are in definite need of respite. Seriously. We all need it, and we are not helping our spouses if we wear ourselves out physically and mentally.

I'm not sure if the cruise is the best place to start with the respite idea, since it would be ultra expensive to pay the cost of a second cabin, transportation, and daily stipend. And if you can afford that, then the money might be better spent on getting help at home for a longer period of time!

Maybe you could start by enlisting friends to come help "sit" with your DH while you disappear or go do something fun away from your home. My DH has a number of friends from church who come by for visits during the week. One marvelous neighbor picks him up every Friday morning (driving our van) and takes him to a men's group at church. Could this be an option for you? If you are part of a church, just talk to a pastor and see if help is available.

If you mostly want respite from the personal care duties, and your hubby is willing to let someone else attend to him, then by all means, investigate getting the periodic help of a Personal Care Assistant. But do it at home, so it's not so expensive. Then you will be rested for your cruise, and will enjoy it all the more, even though it's just the two of you.

These are just my suggestions as a fellow caretaker-wife. BTW, we're in our 50s, and my DH's life expectancy is normal. So I'm in it for the long haul, and pacing myself accordingly ;)

I do this for a living.

Just got off a 12 day cruise

They pay for airfare, cruise in same cabin with patient, take care of all needs to the patient, and also charge 100 dollars a day..

if interested get intouch with me

threw Cruisecritic...

Linda

Wow, so much information. It is moving slowly, but so for have received several good possibilities. One lady is looking very good, (referral from church). She does such as this in various forms. She started by traveling with an elderly patient of hers, and when she stopped working through the agency she just does trips for friends and their familys. A real hoot was the trip to Disney World!! Lets just say the young man in his chair kept her on her toes!!!

She would even drive with us and help me drive!! She said she has had so many wonderful excursions it is impossible to tell them all.

More later.

Hi Ms Ann, You mentioned changing the catheter...you may want someone experienced with doing so. I have an SP tube and only have an RN change it...once a month. I just got off the Alaskan Cruise on Celebrity and brought spare supplies with me just in case. I was very nervous about having to use the stuff though! My fear is getting someone who doesn't know what they are doing to change it.

Good luck and good for you guys!!! Keep on cruising...safe journey~!

Gammiedoux

Hi Ms Ann, You mentioned changing the catheter...you may want someone experienced with doing so. I have an SP tube and only have an RN change it...once a month. I just got off the Alaskan Cruise on Celebrity and brought spare supplies with me just in case. I was very nervous about having to use the stuff though! My fear is getting someone who doesn't know what they are doing to change it.

Good luck and good for you guys!!! Keep on cruising...safe journey~!

Gammiedoux

His is an external catheter. Sometimes called a condom or Texas catheter. It was originally designed for men with an incontenance problem. We cut off the little collection bag, and route to a leg, or bed bag. They are great. saves my back not having to try to use a urinal while in his chair.

He has in the past had trachs, and I changed them out. That was scarry at first, but once I got familiar with them, easy!! Both times we have been able to transition back to a bipap with nasal pillows.

you may also want to consider the liability issues. if you employ a private caretaker on your cruise and they are injured such as bad back from lifting etc are they covered by their own worker compensation insurance? if not, YOU are responsible for all medical bills, physical therapy etc. AND ANYTHING ELSE arising out of the "injury". not all agencies are responsible for workers comp. many are registries where the employee is responsible.

Well, the lady from the church is out. Forgot that we were cruising over Thanksgiving holidays. she is going out of town with family. I really doubt we could arrange it all before November anyway. So I'm concentrating more on next years cruises.

I'm thinking we may scale the cruises back to one a year or so. Then pick up land trips.

I just need a respite, but don't want to put him in a facility.

I do hope you can get something sorted, your husband is very lucky to have you to care for him and I know how you feel in needing a break.....as I have booked a cruise for next Feb to have a break/respite as my hubby will not go into respite and I also don't want him to go either. He is paralysed on his right side after a massive stroke over 5 years ago and is wheelchair bound and has speech problems.

Good luck in whatever you do.

Hugs

Doreen

Dear Ms Ann,

I agree with so many of the kind and caring previous respondents...

Reference and background checks are not optional, of course...

Meeting and interacting with the caregiver (you both choose) prior to a

Confined journey with a 'stranger' again, no brainer...

There are people who would accept A CRUISE as the bulk of compensation.

Depending on the level of cares and responsibilities determined by you

And hubby; THE TRIP ITSELF, along with a small stipend would be beyond

Generous compensation. It does not sound like you are asking for a 24/7

Indentured servant. To me, it sounds like you are seeking someone to share

The caregiving role; in a way that allows the three of you to enjoy an amazing

Vacation together. These things are all negotiable and should be a comfortable

Fit to meet the needs of each of you.

Never be afraid to seek help. I hope you will accept help, if offered.

Please make time for and CARE for you; as soon as, and often as possible.

bipolarone@gmail.com (if you ever want someone to listen and or talk with)

Amy

Dear Ms Ann,

I agree with so many of the kind and caring previous respondents...

Reference and background checks are not optional, of course...

Meeting and interacting with the caregiver (you both choose) prior to a

Confined journey with a 'stranger' again, no brainer...

There are people who would accept A CRUISE as the bulk of compensation.

Depending on the level of cares and responsibilities determined by you

And hubby; THE TRIP ITSELF, along with a small stipend would be beyond

Generous compensation. It does not sound like you are asking for a 24/7

Indentured servant. To me, it sounds like you are seeking someone to share

The caregiving role; in a way that allows the three of you to enjoy an amazing

Vacation together. These things are all negotiable and should be a comfortable

Fit to meet the needs of each of you.

Never be afraid to seek help. I hope you will accept help, if offered.

Please make time for and CARE for you; as soon as, and often as possible.

 

bipolarone@gmail.com (if you ever want someone to listen and or talk with)

 

Amy

Thank you Amy, Yes we do all of those things. Things are not really bad right now. Just looking to future. It looks like we may be getting close to the no traveling zone. But that is Me not Him. I get so exausted with the packing and unpacking and driving etc.

Any way for now it is going to be just family or friends who are used to him and know what to expect.