suggestions for pre-teen rules to follow on ship

Personally while the kids should have a certain amount of freedom- if my son (age 11) isn't in the youth program, he has to be with me.

 

Kids 13 and older are risk takers and I wouldn't just let them run wild. They should be in a supervised program or with the adults.

 

I don't think you need that many rules and quite frankly rules are made to be broken. Both my sons are great kids but I know that when they are with other kids and there are no adults around they do things that they might not ordinarily do.

 

Parents need to be with them at night or they need to be in the youth program.

Personally while the kids should have a certain amount of freedom- if my son (age 11) isn't in the youth program, he has to be with me.

 

Kids 13 and older are risk takers and I wouldn't just let them run wild. They should be in a supervised program or with the adults.

 

I don't think you need that many rules and quite frankly rules are made to be broken. Both my sons are great kids but I know that when they are with other kids and there are no adults around they do things that they might not ordinarily do.

 

Parents need to be with them at night or they need to be in the youth program.

 

And then when you drop them off at college, ask for a spot on the floor to sleep!

 

Imagine, teens being somewhere without a parent watching them. Maybe I should feel guilty at letting ds14 explore Chicago by himself rather than sitting through his sisters' dance competion. So far, my teens have never been in any trouble, and are always home by curfew. I know they will make mistakes - that's how they learn. I just hope they are not big ones! And I hope they happen when they're still leaving under our roof. Only two more years before the first of many flies the coop.

And then when you drop them off at college, ask for a spot on the floor to sleep!

 

Imagine, teens being somewhere without a parent watching them. Maybe I should feel guilty at letting ds14 explore Chicago by himself rather than sitting through his sisters' dance competion. So far, my teens have never been in any trouble, and are always home by curfew. I know they will make mistakes - that's how they learn. I just hope they are not big ones! And I hope they happen when they're still leaving under our roof. Only two more years before the first of many flies the coop.

 

I thought this thread was about pre-teens. This age is known for pushing the envelope. That's just how they are. Don't be so naive and think that some contract is going to do anything.

 

My son can sign himself in and out of the youth program but we have times and places to meet up and he isn't just running wild on the ship. It isn't that I'm afraid for him. That isn't the point. There are great activities offered to the kids and my son does know not to push all the buttons in the elevators or run in the halls but I can assure you there were unsupervised kids who were doing these things. I kept thinking on my last cruise- where are the parents? My son would tell me how "bad" some of the kids were in the youth program too. He refused to even talk to one kid he saw outside of the youth program because he was so obnoxious.

Edited July 28, 2012 by rebeccalouiseagain

This is from the Celebrity website (just an example of cruise protocol). This for all children ages 10-12 (which is tweens)

 

Parent Responsibility:

Children ages 3-8 must be signed-in and signed-out of the Celebrity Youth Program by their parents, who must present their Celebrity Signature Card for identification. Children and teens ages 9-17 are free to come and go as they please from activities hosted by the Celebrity Youth Program, but are required to follow the basic rules of the ship for those under 18 years old. After 10PM, Ensigns require an adult to sign them out of activities. Due to the liberty afforded to Ensigns, please tell your children never to enter someone else's stateroom and to always let someone know where they will be. When outside of the Celebrity Youth Program, parents are responsible for the supervision of their children. Celebrity also asks that you refrain from allowing your children to utilize the pool or jacuzzi without your supervision.

I thought this thread was about pre-teens. This age is known for pushing the envelope. That's just how they are. Don't be so naive and think that some contract is going to do anything.

 

My son can sign himself in and out of the youth program but we have times and places to meet up and he isn't just running wild on the ship. It isn't that I'm afraid for him. That isn't the point. There are great activities offered to the kids and my son does know not to push all the buttons in the elevators or run in the halls but I can assure you there were unsupervised kids who were doing these things. I kept thinking on my last cruise- where are the parents? My son would tell me how "bad" some of the kids were in the youth program too. He refused to even talk to one kid he saw outside of the youth program because he was so obnoxious.

 

I believe I quoted a PP who stated that teens 13+ needed to be either with parents, or supervised in the kids club (and a lot of the time, in the teens club, you will find one staff member, and no teens - they just use it to get together). As a parent of two teens, who spend evenings going out to eat, at the movies, at the mall, skating, etc., without adult supervision, who have been going on overnight school sponsored trips with no chaporones in the hotel rooms, or in amusement parks, I found it strange that someone would feel that high school students needed constant adult supervision.

 

I have 9 and 11 year olds also, who don't have the same freedom as their teen siblings.

I thought this thread was about pre-teens. This age is known for pushing the envelope. That's just how they are. Don't be so naive and think that some contract is going to do anything.

 

My son can sign himself in and out of the youth program but we have times and places to meet up and he isn't just running wild on the ship. It isn't that I'm afraid for him. That isn't the point. There are great activities offered to the kids and my son does know not to push all the buttons in the elevators or run in the halls but I can assure you there were unsupervised kids who were doing these things. I kept thinking on my last cruise- where are the parents? My son would tell me how "bad" some of the kids were in the youth program too. He refused to even talk to one kid he saw outside of the youth program because he was so obnoxious.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Personally while the kids should have a certain amount of freedom- if my son (age 11) isn't in the youth program, he has to be with me.

 

Kids 13 and older are risk takers and I wouldn't just let them run wild. They should be in a supervised program or with the adults.

 

I don't think you need that many rules and quite frankly rules are made to be broken. Both my sons are great kids but I know that when they are with other kids and there are no adults around they do things that they might not ordinarily do.

 

Parents need to be with them at night or they need to be in the youth program.

 

You are the one that brought up the 13 year old, anyway since when does a thread here ever stick with just one topic?

 

As for the contract, we use more to make sure our kids are aware of the rules and the consequences if they are not followed. Will it stop them, no, but it may make them think twice before doing something. Maybe, just maybe, that will be enough time for them to decide against it?

 

I agree with the pp who said you cannot stay with them 24 hours a day. Is vacation the time and place to give them freedom for the first timr, probably not, but they do need to learn how to make decisions on their own at some point in their life.

When you talk about tweens- technically that is between 10-12. But it is totally proven that boys especially become risk takers around the age of 13. So a 12 year old is coming to that point. It might be raging hormones, etc.

 

In any case- ships are safe. I just think that parents need to supervise their children when they aren't in a youth program.

 

As for teens- hopefully they have learned right from wrong at that point and wouldn't play pranks or talk loudly in the shows etc.

 

I should note that I started a couple threads on here after I encountered some totally inept parents on my last vacation. I also witnessed some incidents on my cruise- loud gabbering in the theater, ice cream cone left in the elevator- that sort of thing that wouldn't have been happening if a parent was present.

Edited July 29, 2012 by rebeccalouiseagain

. . . Kids 13 and older are risk takers and I wouldn't just let them run wild. They should be in a supervised program or with the adults. . . .

My 16YO is the supervisor fairly often. She runs a program for brownie scouts at the local botanical garden, where the adult leaders simply drop the kids off for an hour. She is the field marshall two evenings a week for the local soccer club and is the supervisor of 9-10 other referees aged 12-17YO there are volunteer adult coaches, but she is the ultimate decision maker at the fields. She is the section lead for her band group. She travels for school stuff, for band events, for sporting events and does not always have an adult holding her hand. Each step of her life, we've walked her through what is expected of her. She and her peers may not be perfect, but kids need opportunities to grow - being supervised 24x7 does not provide the opps kids need.

And your point? She is 16 the thread was regarding tweens. I didn't micromanage my child at that age either.

 

The point is- kids should be in the youth program or with an adult. It is the parents' responsibility.

 

And for all those who think their kids won't get in to trouble- I'm willing to bet you encounter kids running, kicking the back of your seat in the theater, leaving drinks on the stairs, etc. and you'll say "Where are the parents?"

And your point? She is 16 the thread was regarding tweens. I didn't micromanage my child at that age either.

 

The point is- kids should be in the youth program or with an adult. It is the parents' responsibility.

 

And for all those who think their kids won't get in to trouble- I'm willing to bet you encounter kids running, kicking the back of your seat in the theater, leaving drinks on the stairs, etc. and you'll say "Where are the parents?"

i just don't get you. First you say kids over 13 need to be either in a supervised program or with the adults. Then you say that they should not be micro-managed. Then you go back to saying they need to be in the program or with the adults again! Which is it? Do you believe that kids 13+ need to be under constant adult supervision or that kids do not need to be micromanaged?

 

I understand that this thread started out about tweens, YOU are the one who started in on the teens with the comment about how risk taking starts increasing when boys turn 13-- if you don't want to talk about teens you should not have brought them up.

The OP started a thread about tweens but said one of her children was 13.

 

Of course kids have a certain amount of freedom on a cruise. My son choses at this age to be in the youth program or with me so it isn't an issue at this point. I think that the kids that are involved in the youth program are having the most fun there anyway- so the running around the ship unsupervised really hasn't been an issue for me.

The OP started a thread about tweens but said one of her children was 13.

 

Of course kids have a certain amount of freedom on a cruise. My son choses at this age to be in the youth program or with me so it isn't an issue at this point. I think that the kids that are involved in the youth program are having the most fun there anyway- so the running around the ship unsupervised really hasn't been an issue for me.

 

Okay, I think you just made a mistake, including teens in what you think is appropriate for tweens. Now, I would definitely give my dd11 more freedom at this age than her younger brother, even when he's 11. I have found that girls tend to be more mature than boys, and felt comfortable giving dd9 and dd11 freedom at the hotel at our last dance comp (everyone there was a part of the competition - thousands). Ds9 - nope.

 

Having two teens, I know what most kids this age are capable of, and what kind of freedom they are used to. Again, there are limited organized activities in the teen club - it mostly facilitates getting the teens together. And honestly, none of my kids liked the tween clubs on any cruise - ds14 was 12 on our last cruise, and he lasted 10 minutes, and then found friends by the pool table or sports deck.

 

I've also been fortunate that, since I have 5 kids very close in age (5 kids in 6 years), they've almost always had a built in buddy to explore with.

We are getting married on The Dream in 2013 and will have our 4 children with us - ages 12,13,14 and 15. We were contemplating on whether we would allow them to go off on their own as they have never cruised and it has been many, many years for us. I will definately print this out and save it! Thanks so much!

Personally while the kids should have a certain amount of freedom- if my son (age 11) isn't in the youth program, he has to be with me.

 

Kids 13 and older are risk takers and I wouldn't just let them run wild. They should be in a supervised program or with the adults.

It's precisely because 13 year olds are risk-takers that they need to be set free before then. Let them loose as pre-teens, even as pre-tweens, and they'll come back and ask if they aren't sure. If they don't get away until teenage years, when they think they know it all, how can you teach them that they don't?

Well, I know a lot of you would criticize me if you saw me "micro-managing" my 17 yr old but what you can't see from the outside is that he is several years younger on the inside. My point is, parents know their kids best and even though you may see me requiring a lot of check ins and more rules than you would give your 17 yr old, I have a reason. We all parent differently and what will work for you won't necessarily work for me. I am going to use this contract for both my 11 yr old and my 17 yr old. :)

Read these to my kids last night! Thanks for this there were a few things I had not thought of. Will be printing too!

Bump!

Love this. Bumping it for our April cruise because I think it's a great idea to exactly set out our expectations of behavior even for the younger ones who won't be unsupervised.

Sometimes they just need to hear something once and they will remember it. I hate hearing "you never told me", this may prevent it.

Great guidelines

We sailed first time last year with 12 and 16 year old daughters. We told them absolutely no going into other cabins and no one into ours. We actually did situations where it may come up, "my parents have to meet you beforeI can go get ice cream/ coffee, shoot I left my (fill in the blank) in my cabin come with me to grab it. We gave them excuses to get out of it, so they were prepared should it actually happened. We talked about how hallwys were small and once on board showed them. Our girls are fairly independent and very intelligent but still have teen brain cells( I'm invincible). We also told them if they put their soda down, it is no longer theirs, to get a fresh one. We explained why, however some kids are not quite ready to understand about rufios, I know I didn't spell that right. Have to say that neither daughter needed any of this, thank goodness. And I know the whole role playing is corny, but in a new situation it helps. Also they were not allowed to wander the ship alone. i am not going to lie but we have taught our girls several self defense moves, however we not unrealistic in thinking they will actually be in the frame of mind to use them, if the need arises.

Absolutely love the role play idea and it is never to corny when it comes to safety and your kids. We are months away and I already started different scenarios with them.

Subscribing! Great thread.

We are traveling to Alaska in 2 weeks on the NCL Jewel and have DSs (10 and 11.5) and DD (11.5). They have been on three cruises before in the last year and a half.

 

I really love the ideas here, however, we are considering allowing them (together) to be able to go to the Kids Club and back to us (first with a phone call or at a set time).

 

While we would not allow them to roam the ship alone (or even go to our cabin without us there) can I get some input on going to and from the kids club? I want them to have some independence and ability to make the right decisions.

 

Thank you for your input.

I'm going to use this for my 14 DD and friend when we cruise next month.