Just back from Westerdam

I just spent a glorious week on ms Westerdam where my only complaint was the other men on board.

There was a meetup each night at 7:30 in the Ocean Bar - Starboard.

Not once did anyone attend a meeting despite there being at least six gay couples on board. Holland is an incredibly gay friendly line with a large number of gay staff.

I was traveling in a stateroom alone, but in a group of five cabins that included two of my single female cousins, and three of their cousins along with two of their husbands.

By Wednesday I felt like the only gay man on the ship. The couples ranging in age from their 20s to their 50s, only seemed to want to socialize with straight couples. I suppose I was the odd man out, but the overwhelming feeling I got when I attempted to socialize with these men was that I was looking for sex with a few of the cattier men making remarks to that effect.

I have never been a hookup person I have never once in my 34 years engaged in sex with someone who I did not both know and care about. I assure you a cruise ship is not the venue for me to enter my slutty phase. Surely all of these men could not have been so insecure in their relationships that I, a bear, was considered a threat.

I was left with a feeling of disappointment in this aspect throughout the otherwise fantastic cruise. On St. Thomas the gay men from the Princess and Disney ships were friendly, engaging in amusing banter and seemed to revel in the camaraderie that I was hoping would exist on Westerdam.

I've been on four day carnival cruises mostly populated by drunken bigots where I felt more welcome by the other gay men than I did on this trip.

Has anyone else had similar experiences on their travels? I'd love to know that it wasn't just me.

Hi Mike,

I'm sorry to hear this. One of the things we enjoy most about cruising is meeting new people, no matter who they are. We've always attended the FOD events, or at the very least have for the first couple of nights to see who is on board. We're lucky that we never experience the same problem you have with regard to everyone on the ship, but we have with a few people here and there. Sounds like you just had a bad run of luck with those on your sailing. Hopefully you have much better luck on future sailings and get a better group of fellow pax onboard.

We were on Westerdam in September and met several others, The time HAL set (7:30) was right at dinner time for all of us. We started our own get together at 6:00 in the Pinnacle Bar. Several "non gay" couples joined in the fun- we had a blast.

I've seen the 7:30 time on other HAL ships. Why set it when most will be at dinner unless you really don't want a large turnout? I've wondered if could be a bit passive-agressive.

FYI- if asked the cruise staff will generally change the time or location.

I'll agree that it was just a bad bit of luck with the PAX on this particular cruise. I always enjoy meeting people from around the country (not to mention around the world).

Perhaps the next cruise. Or (Fingers Crossed) maybe I'll find someone special and won't notice if the other gay guys on the ship are anti-social.

We are on the Westerdam 28Nov.Anybody else?Hope to have a good time.Sorry about your experience.

I think it comes down to "the luck of the sailing" and has nothing to do with the line or the ship. A few years ago, one of the best LGBT groups we met was on the "Noordam", became good friends and stay in touch with several, and have cruised together since, as well. We always meet a nice congenial group when we're on Celebrity. Last year while on the "Equinox"......no one!

Definitely just luck of the draw. It could happen on any sailing on any ship with any line.

Its not always about other gay couples being insecure. We usually don't attend FOD onboard simply because we're not big "people" persons and tend to stick mostly to ourselves. As we do have to eat we tend to meet up more with the people who we eat with in the restaurant. We tend to go to bed after a late dinner and wake up with the sun so night owls we are not.:eek:

One of the few FOD meet ups we did attend and it was well attended was on the Rotterdam so this is not an HAL thing for sure.

Sorry to hear of your experience on HAL. My CEO and his partner travel almost entirely on HAL, they are in their "upper years" and over the years I have known them, ask about their 2 cruises per year. Some of their cruises were abundant with gay men / women, others not. They have never mentioned catty men who assumed others were "sleezing" about...:)

We usually sail on Celebrity and honestly have only been to a couple of GLBT meetings. Meeting up in a bar or lounge isn't really what we prefer; but saying that, on most of our cruises have gone out of our way to meet fellow GLBT guests and make new friends, whether dining, on excursions, spa, or wherever...likewise, we enjoy meeting straight cruisers as well.

HAL has recognized their LGBT guests for years, posting a happy hour get together in the daily program. For many of us, a 5 O'clock time is better than a 7;30 one as it allows both early and late seating people to attend and doesn't preclude other evening entertainment venues. If the time is not good for the majority of those attending, do ask the cruise director to adjust it and the location if necessary.

Especially on longer cruises, meeting others to discuss your shore plans and to share dinners with can add measurably to your cruise enjoyment. You can, especially if you are lucky enough to have a suite, invite at least a small group to share happy hour there. HAL will deliver hot and cold noshes, charging only for liquor. In the good old days, like three years ago, you could bring your wine to your room and share it there without extra charges. Now, just one bottle per person without corkage fee.

It remains as ever a queer queer world.

We always make a point of going to the first LGBT meeting on whatever cruise we are on. We frequently wonder, as we discover other very friendly LGBT people later in the cruise, why did they not go given their pleasure at making our acquaintance? Even more astonishing is those who do not seem to talk to anyone else at all.

That stinks...our one time on that ship, we met a group of 8 guys traveling together from Orlando...with their strait friend and his GF...strait guy was Barry Williams of Brady Bunch fame..... So we got to hang with Greg Brady....! [emoji4][emoji4]