I would say Azamara and Oceania are not quite in the lux category. You should definitely be sure to book a suite if you require a third bed or an adjoining cabin, otherwise you will not have the lux experience you desire.
As for HapLloyd, are you the only German speaker in the family? If so then the experience may not be as “enjoyable” for the rest of the family.
And lastly, have you considered Silversea? You seem like you would enjoy having a butler and if DH would rather remain in the suite on formal nights, their room service is exemplary. However, there are also other less dressy dining choices available on formal nights. SS has several new ships that are spectacular.
Good luck with that Nobel.