Part IV - Installment Travelogue: Cruising With the Mothers, Maasdam - Two to Go

This is part 4 of story 4 in a series. See also:

 

Part 1 - A Crazy Idea

Part 2 - One Down

Part 3 - Come On, Ma

 

More stories on my website.

“I’m sorry to bother you. Your mother said I shouldn’t call – please don’t tell her it was me - but I think you need to know what’s going on. She needs your help.”

 

Parents, as I’ve learned first-hand, dread late night calls involving their children. Later in life, children dread late night calls about their parents. The irony is cruel.

 

“What’s going on?” I asked.

 

“It’s you father…”

Part 4 (54) - Two to Go

 

“…the ambulance came and the police came and your mother went to the hospital with them and I locked up the house and made sure the cat was in and that he had food and water and…”

 

“Okay,” I said. “Slow down. Let’s take it from the top.”

 

There wasn’t a lot of information available that hadn’t come out in the initial torrent, so I thanked Pat and hung up. I knew dad didn’t sound well on the phone – I guess this is one area where the telephone trumps email in communicative ability. I called my parents’ house and left a message for my mother to call as soon as she got home. It has always been my parents’ tendency to keep others - especially their children - from sharing in the woeful times. I knew my phone message would expose Pat as the traitor, but if not for her call I’m sure we would have remained in the dark.

 

My mother called around midnight. The news was not good, and it sounded like we were in it for the long haul.

 

“Who told you? It must have been Pat. I told her not to bother you with this,” my mother said.

 

“Why didn’t you say something earlier?” I asked.

 

“Why should I drag you into something that you can’t do anything about?”

 

I chose not to press the issue. My father remained hospitalized through the rest of January and all of February. We made many trips to Connecticut to help out, subtly negating my mother’s assertion that we “couldn’t do anything about it.”

 

Thoughts of the cruise evaporated during this period. I’d previously asked the charter operator for the deadline for adding another passenger to the booking, and received an answer – February 17. This seemed arbitrary to me, but it wasn’t important in the scheme of things.

 

In mid-March, my father was discharged from the hospital and moved to a nursing home/rehabilitation center. He seemed marginally better, but we all assumed that he would remain there indefinitely.

 

After a Sunday visit at the facility, my mother surprised me by saying, “You know, I think I would like to go on that cruise.”

 

“Are you sure?” I asked.

 

“Yeah. What the heck,” she said. “I need a break.”

 

The next day, I wrote a plea to the cruise operator. Their response was a relief. “No problem.” I took care of the necessary details, one of which was to buy travel insurance. We’ve always purchased it, and thankfully have never needed it. In the case of this trip, though, it seemed like a particularly wise investment.

 

Six weeks later, my father completed a miraculous recovery and was discharged. He required some continuing rehab, but this was performed in the comfort of home and quickly became unnecessary. We were all completely amazed.

 

Unburdened, I finally returned to thinking about the cruise. A few people were beginning to ask questions on the APHC forum, and I suggested to the webmaster that she create a new section specifically for the cruise. This was done in a matter of hours.

 

If you aren’t familiar with the characters portrayed in Mr. Keillor’s stories, I should probably fill you in. These imaginary people are Minnesotans who live a simple rural life, are extremely reserved, stoic, and wary of hedonistic pleasures and modern ways. Although these characters get themselves into many humorous situations, some of them are just plain dark…

 

The first indication I had that such people might actually exist came late one night. A regular APHC forum poster, one who had pooh-poohed the cruise as immoral excess, began to post quotations from the D. H. Lawrence poem, The Ship of Death. I laugh my way through most horror films, but I have to admit that this episode “creeped me out.” The posts were blessedly removed and the poster was sent for therapy.

 

The second indication that the stereotypes had a pretty firm basis came when I started an actual “Roll Call” thread on the board. It went like this:

 

It is traditional for Internet-age cruisers to conduct a 'roll call' to make introductions. Here goes...

 

My party consists of me, Richard (aka chesterh), and my wife of 28 years, Kris. I am an aging computer geek, and Kris teaches chemistry and biology in our local high school (Londonderry, NH). We took our first cruise in 2002, and were unexpectedly delighted with the experience.

 

Joining us will be our mothers: Pat, of York, ME (Kris's mother) and Laura, of Newington, Ct., will both be on their first-ever cruise. This should be interesting.

 

I started a 'thread' about the cruise back in December. It didn't make it to this new discussion area, but you might want to spend a few minutes reviewing it for various links to helpful information. Click here for 'The Cruise'.

 

Your turn...

chesterh

That post got me the following replies:

 

 

Reply:

chesterh, I'm suspicious. Is it really customary for internet-aged cruisers to get so chummy before hand? I'm sure it'll make for some wide eyes when we actually meet one another on the boat…

 

Reply (4 days later):

Well, at the rate this thread is blossoming, I can see that idea might not work here.

 

Reply:

I'm just personally cautious about putting personal identity information about myself on the internet and I'm waiting to get some sort of package with the itinerary and offerings before I rev up. Plus, not everybody who chats here is going and some may not want to appear to be rubbing it in for the ones that want to and aren't. It's that us/they thing. It's a monster. People with PHC in their blood are sensitive to it.

 

Reply:

…you're right about not wanting to "rub" it in. I feel that way, too.

“Wow,” I thought. “What have I gotten us in to?” I knew it was going to be tough going, but this was getting ridiculous. I carefully considered my response:

Hmmm...I certainly have no desire to 'rub it in'. If a cruise roll call is too sensitive a topic for the PHC boards, I do have another roll call going on CruiseCritic, a site with 130,000 members who discuss cruising with complete abandon. (Click Here)

 

I thought it might be nice to get to 'know' each other a bit before the cruise. Some of the regulars on the Chatterbox board are already quite familiar with each other, but I think a lot of first-timers will be showing up looking for information. This thread should function as an ice-breaker.

 

I have previously invited people to my personal website (www.chesterh.com) to read some travelogues I've written about cruising. Chapter 50 in the series will be posted tomorrow (significant - to me, at least - because I will simultaneously turn 50). The stories are pretty revealing, so if someone wanted to track me down and do harm, I suppose it would be pretty easy. But, I'm determined to have a little fun before I go and my strategy will include taking an occasional cruise and writing about it. I'll keep my social security number to myself, though...

 

The tradition of the 'roll call' usually culminates in a sail-away gathering among the participants. We meet at a venue that serves spirits, examine each other's name tags, have a drink or two and talk about our pending adventure as the ship sets sail. See you there?

 

All the best,

chesterh

 

I suppose I should have expected what happened next…

 

Soooooo very relieved about your father! You really know how to keep us hanging...

 

Also, have finally taken the time to view the videos on your site. I cried like a baby watching your father-in-law sing along with the barbershop quartet (we have a similar situation at home), laughed like a gleeful child at your dog and bird (we have Brittanys and a Conure), and thoroughly enjoyed all of the others! The sport ballet is priceless!

Chest, I too had to view a few of your videos and really got a big kick out of "The Chase" It reminded me of our house:D We too have an Umbrella Cockatoo but we have two toy poodles and a Cat too.

 

Here is Pumpkin getting ready to torment Mini or Lessor Sulfur Crested Cockatoo

Definitely looking forward to the next installment:) What great reading for a dreary cold windy day in Las Vegas.

Happy to read that Dad made such a remarkable recovery. Now I can sleep tonight.

Looking forward to the rest of the story. (Where did I hear that before?;) )

Thanks, Ruth, Lisa (happy Birthday) and Marsha. There is a Cockatoo angle coming up in this story. For the record, here is a link to the referenced video, The Chase (bird vs. bird dog).

 

I have a lot of fun with the videos. The "sports ballet" video was the first digital video I ever did. It is called Loitering.

 

There are plenty more videos on my website's video page, and they've all been posted in the Photo Gallery section of CC. One of my favorites is Young Men in Black - teens in tuxes on their way to formal dinner. Not nearly as dull as it sounds, I promise.

 

Note that these videos are very large files. Boradband or infinite patience is required.

 

All the best,

chesterh

Well, this is a lot of fun already. As someone very accustomed to getting to know people pretty well through the web, it's fascinating to see the responses you got on the PHC web site. I was once rather skeptical of meeting people online, but am now very comfortable with it. I wonder if any of your fellow PHC group members have decided to come over here and discuss cruising with reckless abandon as we do ;) ?

 

On another note, I'm relieved to read that your dad is fine. You had me at the edge of my seat at the end of Part III!

 

Anyhow, I'm very much looking to Part V, and many more too. I can't wait to get to the part where you actually go on the cruise, but the pre-cruise preparations have been a lot of fun too!

Thanks, Host Doug. It is an honor to receive a post from the host - a first in my experience.

 

The PHC cruisers were an interesting bunch, but we'll see more of that later. Some of them did come to CC for the roll call here, and I suspect they'll be back sometime.

 

I received an email from my mother today as I was sitting here writing. Although my father has been doing well at home all this time, she expressed concern that something is wrong. For her to admit that is a sure sign. I got her to promise to seek medical help ASAP, and she reluctantly agreed. Dad is 85 years old and some regular maintenance should be expected, but he is more stoic than a PHC cruiser. I think a trip down to CT is in order for me.

 

I've found that a cruise involves three distinct phases. Phase 1 involves the decision to go, the anticipation and the preparation. This phase can be very intense, and the excitement level can become almost unbearable. CruiseCritic provides good therapy to those in Phase 1. For the PHC cruise, this phase lasted for a full 8 months.

 

Phase 2 is the cruise itself. It is, typically, a wonderful time, but it passes in a blur during its average 7-10 day lifespan.

 

Phase 3 is the afterglow. Depending on the experience in phase 2, this can last for months, years - or even a lifetime. I know I will relive my first cruise countless times right up until the day I sail into oblivion, and I'm grateful for the memory - it brings neverending joy.

 

In the scheme of things, then, the cruise itself is but a small part of the overall experience. Granted, phases 1 & 3 wouldn't exist without the cruise, but to me it's a package deal. And it's all great fun...

 

All the best,

chesterh

 

p.s. I posted part 5 while you weren't looking...

Thanks, Host Doug. It is an honor to receive a post from the host - a first in my experience.

You mean through all those posts on the Celebrity board, neither Walt nor Anne ever said anything to you? This is disgraceful! Well, I am honored to be the one to change that :) ...

 

(I think I replied to a few of your GALAXY threads, but that was probably in my pre-Host days.)

 

The PHC cruisers were an interesting bunch, but we'll see more of that later.

I'm sure that is a bit of an understatement ;) ...

 

I do hope your dad continues to do well. I have elderly relatives too (though my parents certainly aren't yet) and I know exactly the feeling your mom must be getting right now.

 

Now, off to read Part V!

Thanks, Host Doug. Who did you "used to be" back in the old days?

 

chesterh

Who did you "used to be" back in the old days?

I was cruiseny once, in my pre-Host days... From roughly 2002-2004 I guess. Before that I was just a lurker!

Host Doug, I checked back in my archives and found the "old you."

 

On August 25, 2002, at 11:26 p.m.. you wrote:

And it is not a "review" at all I don't think... No... "Travelogue" would be the correct term... Why don't you start contacting publishers

I owe you thanks. As a result of that post, I changed the name of this beast from "Installment Review" to "Installment Travelogue", and contacted a publisher.

 

All the best,

chesterh

Wow! Good to see you over here on the HAL board Chester. We are sitting here in the Tampa airport after our two week Veendam cruise. Our flight doesn't leave for another four and a half hours. And what to my surprise, I find all of these installments of a Chester H travelogue to keep me enchanted! On to the rest of the installments!

Welcome back, cruisinjudy. Trust you had a fantastic voyage. It's nice to be here on the HAL board - a little change of venue can't hurt...

 

All the best,

chesterh