Cruising with friends or family

If you are traveling with others, do you before you leave lay down any ground rules? Like, do you set aside some "alone time"? I don't care how much you love someone or like someone, no one agrees with the other all the time or likes the same things. If you do, how do you bring up these subjects? I sure wouldn't want to hurt any feelings. Even if you're going with your best friends, you certainly don't need to be attached at the hip. Let's face it, 99% of married or committed people can't be with their partner 24/7. We have some "friends" (actually the guy works with my DH) who are trying to invite themselves along for our cruise in Jan. While I like the idea of having old friends at the dinner table, we like to make new friends along the way. So any ideas?

Cheryl:confused:

We typically travel with a large group of both family and friends. As for the family, we all decided that we would meet for dinner every night. With the friends, we tell them what our dinner plans are and let them know they are more than welcome to join us if they want, love to have them, but understand if they want to do their own thing too. During the day, we typically have already decided on our excursions before even leaving. Again, we tell them they are welcome but if they want to do their own thing, fine.

We do the same as Pam does. Let everyone know your plans before going. Everyone needs some alone time...even on a cruise ship w/3,000 other people!

I don't see the harm in having them cruise with you. I'm sure they'll want to have their "alone time" as well. Or atleast I'd like to think they would. We cruised with another couple for the first time a few months back and really enjoyed ourselves. Both, when we were together and apart. I think its pretty much one of those unspoken things where you kind of know you won't be joined at the hip so to speak.

So...I say extend the invite..what's the harm? You may be surprised and really enjoy their company, and who says you can't meet new friends if they come??

Whatever you decide... I hope you have great vacation!:)

We've cruised with friends in the past and have told them before they even booked that we were calling it a "Nobody's Joined At the Hip" cruise. We enjoyed cruising but felt if they wanted to spend time alone or dine alone, that was fine with us. We always request a large table and if those travelling wanted to join us they were welcome, but it was their choice to have the bookings linked to ours. It always worked out that we ended up stopping by a particular bar for cocktails before dinner, and that way we got to see each other at least once a day. It really worked out well for us and we plan on doing the same for our next cruise.

If you feel that your travelling companions are going to be a little too clingy, just tell them at the outset that you like to have your mornings/afternoons/evenings (you choose) free to enjoy with your spouse. Then when the cruise comes along, make sure that you do go off together so that you can have alone time - even if it means sitting in the sun/shade together enjoying your books or music.

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

The way it works for us is that when any of us want to do something together we just find or get in touch with each other.

If you are traveling with others, do you before you leave lay down any ground rules? Like, do you set aside some "alone time"? I don't care how much you love someone or like someone, no one agrees with the other all the time or likes the same things. If you do, how do you bring up these subjects? I sure wouldn't want to hurt any feelings. Even if you're going with your best friends, you certainly don't need to be attached at the hip. Let's face it, 99% of married or committed people can't be with their partner 24/7. We have some "friends" (actually the guy works with my DH) who are trying to invite themselves along for our cruise in Jan. While I like the idea of having old friends at the dinner table, we like to make new friends along the way. So any ideas?

 

Cheryl:confused:

I am traveling with my DS and DD. We have already established that we are not going to spend 24/7 together. My children are both out of the house and I am sure I will need my *alone* time as much as they will even though we all get along well.

The other thing is you and the other couple may not have the same interests. If they are too much for you simply say we are thinking of this as a 2nd honeymoon, so please excuse us when we need some time to ourselves.;)

There are four of us going on the next cruise: a married couple and myself and a girl, platonic and single. Pretty simple rules: 1) If she gets a significant other or a friend that wants to cruise he or she can book a room and I'll unofficially switch cabins. 2) Bandana on the door if I have company (wow college) and 3) I wear pajamas. I generally sleep in the nude so this last one is still under discussion. I'll probably cave for a free drink to keep the peace.

Definately set the rules ahead of time! We made that mistake several years ago and vacationed with family (not a cruise, just an island). Finally one day the five of them announced we were all going to take a sail over to another island. Well by noew we just wanted some alone time because we were tired and just wanted to spend a peaceful day just the two of us. Well when I brough it up, everybody got upset and finally the words "Well fine then, if you're not going, nobody's going!" hit the fan! I looked right at them and said "well suit yourself, go or don't go, but we are married and we want time to ourselves, so even if you stay here, you are not invited to hang out with us for the day!" They finally realized the error of their ways! They went on their day-cruise thingy and we found a winery! ;)

This vacation we are going on a cruise with friends we have vacationed with many times. We have never sat down and drawn up a set of "rules" but we all think so much alike we always give one another room without any problem (that's the only reason I let them come! :D ).

Mike

Hi Cheryl,

As like others who have answered this, we often cruise with family and friends. Putting together one in Jan. '09 as a matter of fact. There will be approx. 50 of us. We don't hold anyone hostage and won't let anyone hold us hostage. The months following the cruise, we share pictures and stories on individual get togethers which kind of makes the cruise last longer:D.

Barry

We are going on a cruise with friends in just a couple of weeks, and that's our general rule - no one is joined at the hip. We are going to try to have dinners together, but everything else, we're pretty much on our own. We'll likely hang out during some evenings as well, but nothing at all is set in stone.

We do the same when traveling with family.

We set no rules-we usually all eat dinner together and take some excursions together but we have plenty of time on our own. No one wants to be with others constantly-heck even my husband I will will do separate things.

We just agree to eat dinner together so we can get the highlights of each others day. Otherwise we just play it by ear.

I have a large family and we always travel together....last year we had 27 on the Miracle....we usually meet for dinner, but during the day everyone is pretty much on their own...we try to meet up at least once during the day just to talk and hang out for a while before dinner....

I would always set the ground rules BEFORE your cruise to make sure everyone is on the same page....

Laurie:D

Weve made the mistake of not setting ground rules before and I was miserable. I somehow became the unofficial group leader with everyone asking me whats next and I just wanted to scream.

This cruise were going with 5 other couples. We've linked our bookings together for dinner but thats about it. Weve decided on our our excursions, if we see you there great! If were at the pool at the same time maybe we'll sit by each other, but its a you do your thing we'll do ours type thing.

If youre worried about hurting someones feelings maybe you can just word it in a way where youre asking them what their plans are for the different ports so that they understand that you are not taking charge nor holding their hand through the entire trip.

We are going next month on acruise with 8 of us. We have all traveled before together on land and sea. We have an unwritten agreement to do what we want when we want. If someone wnats to do what we are doing then fine come along. if not , no hard feelings on either side. We get together at dinner at night and sometimes have different stories to tell. So far so good. We've been friends with one couple for 40 years and have traveled together for about 38 of those yaers. We've traveled together so many times we know when the others are hungry etc. LOL

We set no rules-we usually all eat dinner together and take some excursions together but we have plenty of time on our own. No one wants to be with others constantly-heck even my husband I will will do separate things.

We learned that this is the best way-otherwise no one has a good time. We have friends that love to sunbathe-not hubby and I-but we do enjoy dinner together and seeing the shows together. My hubby and friends all scuba dive and usually they will do one excursion diving together. Sometimes we will also go on a shopping excursion together in one of the ports, if we have not decided on anything we would prefer to do -but we do ALL enjoy also going our separate ways.

We usually travel with family and/or friends. We link our reservations so that we are seated together at dinner. Even then, some choose to go to the up-charge restaurant sometimes. We usually switch around so that all the kids are at one table and the adults at the other.

We do what others have posted. I am the big planner of the group, so I tell everyone what my family is doing and invite them. They can come or not. No pressure. No hard feelings. Last year, there were ports where we all went on an excursion together and others where my family was alone. Both were fine.

One cruise, with my parents, we ONLY saw them at dinner. It was so wierd. They wanted to cruise with us -- but obviously needed their alone time too!

For our upcoming cruise in April, I am having a pre-cruise party at my house for everyone in our group in March. I'm sure we will talk about this at that time.

It certainly shouldn't hurt any feelings to tell them that you and your family will be off "doing your own thing" during the day, and we'll "catch up" with you at dinner! Although, on sea days, it's nice having folks you know to sit around the pool with for awhile and chat!