Guest problems, and I'm not sure what to do.

[Soon2BeMrsI]

Okay, we are having the wedding on the Carnival Fascination. We bought the Deluxe package which covers 20 guest, including us. Well, we have 18 cruising and only of the 18 is 7 or under. So that's 17 people right off the bat that are added to the guest list. We have family who isn't sailing that needs to be there.

 

Well, at any rate. One of my fiance's groomsmen was originally going to sail with us, and he backed out of the cruise. When he was going to be cruising it would have been just him and his wife. Well, fiance called him the other night to see if my soon to be stepson could possibly ride back to Alabama with them. He tells us that he is actually going straight from Jacksonville to Panama City for a week with his family. So, now he will have both of his kids at the wedding, no problem they are both 7 or under, BUT he throws it on my fiance that his mom will be with him too, so she will be attending the wedding. My fiance wasn't sure how we were on the guest count and was put on the spot. He said that would be fine, but it's really not okay. We are looking at having to pay our of our pocket for about 15 extra guests as it is, and we limited on cash because this is all coming out of our pocket.

 

I have cut corners everywhere possible, and the remainder of expenses are pretty much not negiotable. Now, my fiance wants to tell him that it's not okay for him to bring his mom, who I've never even met and we have some family members who aren't even going to be there.

 

Can anyone think of a delicate way to tell him this? I mean honestly if I was in her position I would offer to watch the kids at the hotel and take them to the pool rather than imposing myself on somebody's wedding who I didn't even know. Maybe that's just me, though. It's all an awkward situation.

[Denise2000]

Very sticky situation. I'm faced with the same dilemna I specifically put NO KIDS on the invitations and I have my fiance family calling me confirming WITH KIDS. Like what part did they not understand!?! Folks are so inconsiderate these days but I can only assume since they are taking a week from their vacation time and spending their money then they feel as though they can bring and invite anyone they want to. I don't know what to tell you but I will be monitoring this post very closely for feedback, LOL.

[Soon2BeMrsI]

I mean obviously he doesn't know that we have to pay per person or he wouldn't have invited her, but I think it would be rude for us to tell people that at this point we are paying 30 bucks per person.

 

I'm just not sure what to do. I am all about not being rude, but still. Then there is a matter of this sames friend sister and her husband and daughter. If their mom is going to attend I feel obligated to invite his sister, because I have never met his mom, but I know his sister pretty well.

 

Ugggh... just frustrating that's all.

[dcdiva]

Let me see if I understand. Initially, the groomsman and his wife were attending the wedding and sailing with you. But now, neither of them are sailing -- only coming onboard for embarkation and they want to bring along them with them three extra people -- their two small children and his mom.

 

Maybe I am not understanding the situation, but I can't understand why the kids or his mom would want to come to the wedding. I've been a guest on an embarkation day wedding, and it's just no fun for young kids. You need to get to port very early, be dressed up and wait around until it's clear to board which can be as long as 2 hours. All that to attend a cocktail party with essentially no other kids (at least that's what I understood from your post).

 

Are they staying over in Jacksonville the night before? Maybe his mom could just take them to the hotel pool during the wedding, or to a movie, or to lunch or something. Seems to me, it would be way more fun for all involved.

[Liv2bCruzin]

This is not a very pleasant situation to be pushed upon you ...However...don't take my advice the wrong way it''s just what I believe is a realistic non-emotional approach. This will be ONE of many oh sh*ts....Yes this is your day and your decisions on who and what goes on...but it's not like this is just a random guest friend of the family he is in the wedding party correct? Maybe cut a little slack on the situation. If you are paying $450 for the additional guests what's $480....really at the end of the day! It is unfortunate that some people have zero tact or etiquette but the world is full of them...ugh...You may just need to let this one roll... :(

 

Hey just curious do you have a group booking for the sailing guests? Because every 8 cabins you should be "birthing" a cruise fare (cash value of the most cabins booked in your group price before tax and port costs) This is given to you at the end of the cruise. Beware a lot of Agents do not tell people about this because they can pocket the cash. This money is given by Carnival not the TA....This is how I am paying for all my guests. I have "birthed" 3 cruise fares and have mostly balcony's booked so I am getting over 2,500 back when the cruise is over and that will almost cover the 80 guests I have to pay for.

[COMBOY]

Let me tell you....honesty is always the best policy. This is your wedding and your money. Your finance need to politely and honest tell him that if he brings his mother you will be over your budget for the wedding and that's there isn't any wiggles room for more people. That he hope he understands and truly sorry for the confusion. He was put on the spot without consulting you. That's wasn't right. If that groomsman is a true friend he will understand. Most people are very understanding especially when it come to money. The worst case situation is she comes and you go over budget. That's not fair to all parties and you'll end up resentful to his mother. Sometimes saying no is very hard, but life ain't fair and many disappointment are a part of life. In this case money is an object and thus you must to live within it. That's just reality. Just giving my two cents.

[Soon2BeMrsI]

This is not a very pleasant situation to be pushed upon you ...However...don't take my advice the wrong way it''s just what I believe is a realistic non-emotional approach. This will be ONE of many oh sh*ts....Yes this is your day and your decisions on who and what goes on...but it's not like this is just a random guest friend of the family he is in the wedding party correct? Maybe cut a little slack on the situation. If you are paying $450 for the additional guests what's $480....really at the end of the day! It is unfortunate that some people have zero tact or etiquette but the world is full of them...ugh...You may just need to let this one roll... :(

 

Hey just curious do you have a group booking for the sailing guests? Because every 8 cabins you should be "birthing" a cruise fare (cash value of the most cabins booked in your group price before tax and port costs) This is given to you at the end of the cruise. Beware a lot of Agents do not tell people about this because they can pocket the cash. This money is given by Carnival not the TA....This is how I am paying for all my guests. I have "birthed" 3 cruise fares and have mostly balcony's booked so I am getting over 2,500 back when the cruise is over and that will almost cover the 80 guests I have to pay for.

 

She did tell us that we would get what she called a "discount" on our cabin. Then when I asked her about it again she said that it would be a cash back thing that we would get within 30 days of the cruise. She wouldn't tell me how much it was going to be. We have 8 cabins booked, they are varying types of cabins. She told me that the amount we got back would depend on how many people booked interior rooms and how many people booked balconies or ocean view. I think that out of our 8 cabins only 2 of them booked interior rooms. The other are all ocean view or balcony. I'm not sure how much money we should get back.

 

Do what I'm wondering is if we have 2 interior rooms, 3 ocean view and 3 balcony will we birth the price of a balcony or an ocean view? She did tell us that it would be enough to cover one of our cruise fairs. I had totally forgotten about that because we thought we only had 7 cabins and then his sister decided to book at the last minute.

 

So, yay! I guess that solves my problem.

[Soon2BeMrsI]

Let me see if I understand. Initially, the groomsman and his wife were attending the wedding and sailing with you. But now, neither of them are sailing -- only coming onboard for embarkation and they want to bring along them with them three extra people -- their two small children and his mom.

 

Maybe I am not understanding the situation, but I can't understand why the kids or his mom would want to come to the wedding. I've been a guest on an embarkation day wedding, and it's just no fun for young kids. You need to get to port very early, be dressed up and wait around until it's clear to board which can be as long as 2 hours. All that to attend a cocktail party with essentially no other kids (at least that's what I understood from your post).

 

Are they staying over in Jacksonville the night before? Maybe his mom could just take them to the hotel pool during the wedding, or to a movie, or to lunch or something. Seems to me, it would be way more fun for all involved.

 

That is my thoughts exactly, but there will be other children there. Our children will be there who are both close to their ages. Then my youngest two half brothers are only 9 and 11 and they will be there, they are going on the cruise as is my 6 year old who is staying with my dad and step-mom.

[donaldsc]

Be a "bridzilla". Scream and yell and say "NO!!!".

 

DON

[soon2bmrsspd]

She did tell us that we would get what she called a "discount" on our cabin. Then when I asked her about it again she said that it would be a cash back thing that we would get within 30 days of the cruise. She wouldn't tell me how much it was going to be. We have 8 cabins booked, they are varying types of cabins. She told me that the amount we got back would depend on how many people booked interior rooms and how many people booked balconies or ocean view. I think that out of our 8 cabins only 2 of them booked interior rooms. The other are all ocean view or balcony. I'm not sure how much money we should get back.

 

Do what I'm wondering is if we have 2 interior rooms, 3 ocean view and 3 balcony will we birth the price of a balcony or an ocean view? She did tell us that it would be enough to cover one of our cruise fairs. I had totally forgotten about that because we thought we only had 7 cabins and then his sister decided to book at the last minute.

 

So, yay! I guess that solves my problem.

 

 

The money you get is an "average" of the class of rooms, so in your case, you likely will get the rate of the ocean view room, less the taxes and fee's. In my case the "discount" was added to my cabin, I did not have to pay that amount. I am not sure why you all are being told it comes in the form of a check. I wonder if that has to do with the fact that a TA is involved. I know you all used a TA, but this should not stop you from calling the Carnival Group department and getting the information that you desire. In the end, the TA booked with the group department too, therfore, the group dept will have your information. Same with ammenity points, do not let the TA make that decision for you, as there are many things to chose from.

[Soon2BeMrsI]

The money you get is an "average" of the class of rooms, so in your case, you likely will get the rate of the ocean view room, less the taxes and fee's. In my case the "discount" was added to my cabin, I did not have to pay that amount. I am not sure why you all are being told it comes in the form of a check. I wonder if that has to do with the fact that a TA is involved. I know you all used a TA, but this should not stop you from calling the Carnival Group department and getting the information that you desire. In the end, the TA booked with the group department too, therfore, the group dept will have your information. Same with ammenity points, do not let the TA make that decision for you, as there are many things to chose from.

 

I regret going with a TA, now. The only reason I did so is because she is a friend of my soon to be MIL and she suggested her to me. She has been great at getting us the best rates, and I actually ended up paying 50.00 less for our cabin than was originally quoted. If I had it to over again I would not book with TA.

 

I tried calling the Group Department, and they wouldn't give me any information and said that I would have to go through my TA.

[Denise2000]

Count it a plus SoontobeMrsI I am going with a group of 50 plus and since this is my first time cruising and wasn't aware of the "birth" with a group booking I didn't take advantage of it but someone in my bridal party is getting the birth while I get NOTHING! I didn't make a fuss about it but didn't think that was fair but life isn't either. Hoping everything works out for u.

[Artemis908]

I feel your pain and I have to tell you I am SO tired of people acting like the wedding is about ANYONE else beside the bride and groom. I have gotten so much crap from family about who is invited and they don't seem to realize the limitations we have, especially when you're paying for a wedding yourself.

 

I also disagree with "what's another $30?" ok...well what's another $60? $90? 2000? Where does it end? If we planned weddings like that, we'd go into 6 figure debt. :P

[klauer]

I'm pretty sure that you're talking about a "berth", not a "birth".

[LK0806]

This berth thing, do you only get it if you booked group rates? We did early saver, but have 12 rooms booked?

 

 

Also, I would either just be TOTALLY honest, ooorrr tell them that you can only have so many guests, and you are almost at your limit.

[Denise2000]

I'm pretty sure that you're talking about a "berth", not a "birth".

 

 

LOL Klauer thanks for the correction.

[patseacruiser]

I know in this day and age you don't have to be married to birth but in this case it's a BERTH. LOL

[Soon2BeMrsI]

This berth thing, do you only get it if you booked group rates? We did early saver, but have 12 rooms booked?

 

 

Also, I would either just be TOTALLY honest, ooorrr tell them that you can only have so many guests, and you are almost at your limit.

 

Thanks! I told my fiance about this idea and that maybe what he ends up doing.

[soon2bmrsspd]

This berth thing, do you only get it if you booked group rates? We did early saver, but have 12 rooms booked?

 

My entire group booked the early saver rate. It's all about the group booking, not the rates. I would call the group department and see if it is too late to add everyone to a group, since they are all already booked. The rate will change slightly if you want ammenity points, but only by about 5 bucks per person. Or you might get someone nice, or someone new that doesn't know about the ammenity rate difference.

[imsulin]

I'm pretty sure that you're talking about a "berth", not a "birth".

 

You beat me to it!~! I was laughing too long!

[New2cruisen]

I feel your pain, Soon2BeMrsI. I had the same situation with my fiance's family inviting extended family. We were not asked if these guests could come. We are ending up with three extra uninvited guests. All of whom I have never met and my fiance only met one 18 yrs ago when she was a child. Two are under 7 so no big deal there. We are close to our 50 ct. guest limit and paying for everything ourselves too. So it's quite a problem. You don't want to offend them but they offended you by imposing and assuming. But to keep the peace in the family, I decided to just suck it up and let it roll.

 

In the grand scheme of things, that one more guest for $22-$30 more is not going to brake the bank. It could however, hurt your friendship with the groomsman. Now if I went over the 50 guest count and had to pay the extra $150 or more for a second coordinator...then, I would have had to say something. :)