Debating on taking son next year....

[cruisinbabs]

hello everyone!

 

i didnt realize i was going to get so many responses.. also i just now figured out how to find my post and thread without having to search through pages and pages of stuff! figured out that i jsut go to my profile..duh!

 

thank you everyone for the responses!! so a few things to clarify off my original post...

 

about asking my mom~~

 

she is fully capable of taking care of him, she owns her own business and he can chill with her there when she does go.. she operates the roller rink in town, huge space for him to run a muck. she does have my sister still at home.. who will be 17 by the time we go.. i get it, she has raised all us kids.. 3 of us total... but what grandma wouldnt want time with their grandbaby??!! i just dont get it.. that is why i am afraid to ask her, but i am going ot have to do it soon... we did ask her to go with us, and that failed... but i did think of another possible solution, was thinking of asking my grandma (his great grandma) to come stay at the house with peyton and between her an my mom, they could handle him for a week... my grandma is in pretty good shape and is "with the times" if you get my drift, cell phone, facebook , online banking, stuff like that... he would just feel comfortable in his own surroundings i think at that age...

 

i remember us traveling and cruising when my sister was 2 back in 1997, she was a PAIN to deal with and trying to keep her happy, she did not like camp carnival so she was stuck to my mom and dads side the whole time, eventhough it was their anniversary cruise too, lol, happy anniversary, but we have our 2 year old stuck at our sides!! :D

 

thank you everyone for the responses and ideas... i will keep you posted!!

 

ps... the birthday party was exhausting!!! :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

[JennLuvs2Cruise]

Well.. It seems like you already know what you need / want to do. I'm also confused on why you are scared exactly?? Please elaborate on that, OP. But other than that, I don't think any less of you as a parent because you want alone time with your husband. That's understandable. If you think you are mentally & emotionally capable of leaving your child with a relative for a week, then go for it. Personally, I could not do it. I'm a stay at home mom to a 18 month old and DF works third shift, plus I am in nursing school so our schedules are quite busy. We look forward to our yearly cruise in the summer as a family. DS went last year at 9 months & is going again this June at 21 months. I couldn't imagine leaving him behind since we are together every day at home. Plus I want to cherish these memories. My mom & aunt join us on these cruises so we do get a little help for when DF & I want to play in the casino or something. Other than that, we are together as a family.

 

Traveling with your children verse no children is very different for obvious reasons. But cruising with a toddler is enjoyable. We always had something to do & DS just did fantastic the whole week.

[alj1208]

We just came back from a cruise with our 4-year-old, and I personally am glad we didn't try to do it when he was younger. Not judging others; JMHO. I will also confess that if I had family available to take my DS for a week, I would go away with my husband in a heartbeat! I say, don't let guilt drive your decision. Where does it say that a good mother always brings her child along on vacation? It may be that a good mother takes an opportunity to nurture her marriage (very important for your child's well-being) if that opportunity presents itself in the form of a grandparent available to babysit.

[cruisinbabs]

Well.. It seems like you already know what you need / want to do. I'm also confused on why you are scared exactly?? Please elaborate on that, OP. But other than that, I don't think any less of you as a parent because you want alone time with your husband. That's understandable. If you think you are mentally & emotionally capable of leaving your child with a relative for a week, then go for it. Personally, I could not do it. I'm a stay at home mom to a 18 month old and DF works third shift, plus I am in nursing school so our schedules are quite busy. We look forward to our yearly cruise in the summer as a family. DS went last year at 9 months & is going again this June at 21 months. I couldn't imagine leaving him behind since we are together every day at home. Plus I want to cherish these memories. My mom & aunt join us on these cruises so we do get a little help for when DF & I want to play in the casino or something. Other than that, we are together as a family.

 

Traveling with your children verse no children is very different for obvious reasons. But cruising with a toddler is enjoyable. We always had something to do & DS just did fantastic the whole week.

 

 

i am scared of what her answer she is going to give me.. and its usually a nasty/sarcastic response... almost like i am inconveniencing her.... :( but the worst she can say is no..

[klauer]

Even though your mom may adore her grandson, it is going to inconvenience her to some extent to take care of him for a week, especially if she runs a business and has a teenager living at home.

 

You have more than a year before your trip, so you have plenty of time to decide what to do. I would agree with the poster above -- you could include your son in the booking, and take him off later if necessary.

[alj1208]

You could also try to come up with a plan that wouldn't place the entire responsibility on your mother. For example, maybe a friend can take your child for the weekend and your mother during the week. Or, perhaps you can hire a sitter (or a mother's helper) to give your mom some relief here and there. I am not judging, but maybe it would be best to ask your mother FIRST, and then, if she says okay, go ahead and book just you and DH. You may also want to give your mother some choice on the week you choose. If you bring her into the conversation early and make it work for her, she may be more likely to want to help.

[mjkacmom]

I had 5 children in under 7 years, and I've left them all, starting as babies, with my mom. Sometimes all, sometimes the youngest, sometimes a couple, depending upon the circumstances. My mom lives by me, but also flies 800 miles to my sister's house at least once a year, to stay with her kids so she can have an adult vacation with her DH. My mom loves it, the kids love it, and we love it. When they were really little, it always surprised me at their reaction when we got back - it was like we left them and went out to dinner!

[cruisinbabs]

You could also try to come up with a plan that wouldn't place the entire responsibility on your mother. For example, maybe a friend can take your child for the weekend and your mother during the week. Or, perhaps you can hire a sitter (or a mother's helper) to give your mom some relief here and there. I am not judging, but maybe it would be best to ask your mother FIRST, and then, if she says okay, go ahead and book just you and DH. You may also want to give your mother some choice on the week you choose. If you bring her into the conversation early and make it work for her, she may be more likely to want to help.

 

 

yes that is what i was thinking.. i was thinking of having my gramma come up to help my mom with him... maybe another friend as well that can step in and help if necessary...

[Funfab5]

Taking a cruise can be such a fun time for a family with little ones! I took my DD on her first cruise (Disney) at 14 months, and we had a blast! She doesn't remember it of course, but DH and I found it to be a good way to take a fun vacation that was not a theme park but would have lots of families who understood less-than-ideal behavior at meals. :D. We had such fun that we went on RCCL with her at 3 yo with DS who was 9 months. Again lots of fun even with no alone time. Last year we did Carnival with DD 8, DS 5 and DD 2. It was the best vacation we've ever had. We didn't think our shy 2 yo would want to spend any time at Camp Carnival, but we were WRONG! Our kids begged to go, and wanted to stay whenever we returned for them! This gave us a great balance of alone time and family time, with no worrying about what was up at home. I definitely understand needing a break - I'm a sahm to 3, but if you decide to take him you won't be losing out. You'll have some real quality time all together, and your lo will love checking out the pics when he's older. AND, you won't feel like you're putting your mother out. :p

 

Btw - if you work it out with your mom, make sure you check with your cell phone provider about what it will cost to keep you in touch! It adds up fast! Have a wonderful time, no matter what you do!

[cruisinbabs]

Holy mackrel I totally forgot that I posted this awhile back!!

 

Update-----

 

That cruise never happened because I ended up being laid off from my job right after I booked that glory cruise... had some huge ups and downs moving, finding new job etc..... but all is well so far...... as you can see from my signature line we are now booked on the splendor may 2014!!! And guess what... lil dude is staying home!!!! Well actually my MIL offered to take peyton for the time we are gone(she lives 3 hrs away so she doesnt get to see him except for facebook pictures).... she even offered to drive down here , pick him up the day before we fly out and bring him back when we get back!! Score!! Mom and dad get 10 days to relax and spend some time together and let loose..... my mother is now currently working at her federal job so there is no way she would have been able to watch him during that time frame back then anyways. Guess it all worked out for the better.... little dude is almost 4 now and we r hoping to tackle disney cruise when he hits like 6.. cant wait!

 

I appreciated all the feedback and responses from the community! You all rock!!

 

Sent from my GT-P5210 using Forums mobile app

[megann831]

we're taking our daughter, who will just have turned 4 and son, who will be almost 2, on their 1st cruise in April. We've done many cruises but this will be our 1st real vacation since having kids. We have lots of help and could leave the kids if we wanted. As tempting as it is I know as soon as I see another kid I'll regret leaving them and I'll make myself miserable all trip. That's me though. I'm a teacher and I pick my kids up at 3 and know other teachers who have no problem going home and taking a nap and leaving their kids at daycare till 5. As aggravating as they can be, and as stressful I know this cruise may be, I overall love being around them and want to do things with them. I could care less if they remember it, I will.

[2specialkidsforme]

For my DH and I, we have learned that we need some couple time and the time away makes us more patient parents. A few years ago we took our first cruise and left our children home with my mom. We felt a bit guilty but truly needed some alone time. It was the best thing we did for us and our children. We came back rested, re energized and missing them. Likewise they had some special time with grandma and missed us. We have taken a couples only trip and a family trip for the past few years now. Our children are 11 1/2 and 10 and our son has special needs and was very sick the first three years of his life. Those were stressful times and we could not vacation at all. Now his health is stable and we balance our trips.

 

For us, I think of it this way - some day our children will be grown and will move out and have their own lives. I want to make sure that my husband and I still have things in common and have nurtured our own relationship. Often times you hear of couples who divorce when their children are grown. I'm hoping that we continue to spend time on us so that does not happen.

 

I hope whatever you decide you are able to enjoy your vacation. Please do not let others (friends, neighbors, etc) make you feel guilty if you decide to go as just the two of you. Sometimes people get envious and say the wrong things. Our son's doctors encourage us to take breaks.

Edited January 4, 2014 by 2specialkidsforme

[aussielozzie18]

As a parent myself, I say go with hubby and leave your child behind and your guilt too.

 

You have plenty of time to travel together as a family when your child is older.

 

Parents need time together - makes for a healthy relationship.

 

I didnt have this option but I would have leapt at it, at time, if I did.

 

If you are concerned about leaving your child with your Mother - I would speak to her first and make sure she is comfortable with the idea. It is only a week, its not like you are arraging for ongoing daycare.

 

As others have said, its good opportunity for grandmother and grandchild bonding.

[jengamom]

I went on the Glory a couple of years ago with my son and there really is not a lot for the little ones to do except try to jump in the adult pools. If you take him, i would suggest a ship that has splash areas just for toddlers and other areas for them

[Blk_Amish]

Well.. It seems like you already know what you need / want to do. I'm also confused on why you are scared exactly?? Please elaborate on that, OP. But other than that, I don't think any less of you as a parent because you want alone time with your husband. That's understandable. If you think you are mentally & emotionally capable of leaving your child with a relative for a week, then go for it. Personally, I could not do it. I'm a stay at home mom to a 18 month old and DF works third shift, plus I am in nursing school so our schedules are quite busy. We look forward to our yearly cruise in the summer as a family. DS went last year at 9 months & is going again this June at 21 months. I couldn't imagine leaving him behind since we are together every day at home. Plus I want to cherish these memories. My mom & aunt join us on these cruises so we do get a little help for when DF & I want to play in the casino or something. Other than that, we are together as a family.

 

Traveling with your children verse no children is very different for obvious reasons. But cruising with a toddler is enjoyable. We always had something to do & DS just did fantastic the whole week.

 

Travel is a way of life for us, to visit, to explore, to escape/vacation. Traveling with a toddler would be one of the absolutely worse age we came across. They are more mobile and therefore more curious. It was constant hands on, eyes on and worry. Changing their routine was not in their best interest and I am sure was pretty stressful, as it was on us. We did mostly resorts when they were younger, to better replicate their home routine, bigger room. I look forward to my time away from my kids to spend time with my DH, focus on his needs and us.

 

We are NOT a busy family, by deisgn, so our lives revolve around our children (18 and 15). I am off when they are out of school, and DH works within minutes, with a job that allows him to be there on their beck and call. They do beck and they do call, for this, that and the other. We do our anniversary each year, mostly without them. When we take them, the trip becomes about them. Taking them to Chuckee Cheese, park, or Mommy and Me, when they were toddlers was fun.

Edited January 8, 2014 by Blk_Amish