Carinval Glory - NYC to New England... A Memoir

[jtwitch]

[quote name='atravellingman']Welcome to CC, jtwitch!

I don't think that DH's cruise went to Portland. [/quote]


I think it's pretty funny that everyone calls DH, DH.

I eventually figured out that he wasn't stopping in Portland.... maybe next time! :)

[Delta Hotel]

[quote name='jtwitch']First post on CC.


Alas, I'm extremely disappointed to nearly reach the end, with no reference to Portland (ME).


But that's my only disappointment. :D

Seriously... thanks for a fun read... and a great memoir. I can't believe I started reading this [I][B]months[/B][/I] after your cruise, and you [I][B]still[/B][/I] haven't finished writing![/quote]

Hey there, JTwitch! Do you pronounce that name "J-Twitch" or "JT-witch"? I like to get people's names correct when possible.

Glad you enjoyed the memoir, and thank you for pointing out (with [B][I]bold italic [/I][/B]text) that I still haven't finished writing yet. No, really, I do appreciate the reminder... these little nudges are the only think keeping me going on this.

Wifey and I were both very dissappointed to find out that even though Carnival calls this itinerary "New England" and "Canada", there are no stops in New England (at least on our 5 day cruise). We've never been to Portland, but have heard nice things about it. We even drove past it once on the way to Bar Harbor, so I'm sure it's a very nice place.

I also think it's funny that everyone calls me DH, which more or less nullifies the term "DH" on this thread. I guess everyone will have to resort to using real words like "my husband" or "Bob".

DH

[jtwitch]

[quote name='Delta Hotel']Hey there, JTwitch! Do you pronounce that name "J-Twitch" or "JT-witch"? I like to get people's names correct when possible.

Glad you enjoyed the memoir, and thank you for pointing out (with [B][I]bold italic [/I][/B]text) that I still haven't finished writing yet. No, really, I do appreciate the reminder... these little nudges are the only think keeping me going on this.

Wifey and I were both very dissappointed to find out that even though Carnival calls this itinerary "New England" and "Canada", there are no stops in New England (at least on our 5 day cruise). We've never been to Portland, but have heard nice things about it. We even drove past it once on the way to Bar Harbor, so I'm sure it's a very nice place.

I also think it's funny that everyone calls me DH, which more or less nullifies the term "DH" on this thread. I guess everyone will have to resort to using real words like "my husband" or "Bob".

DH[/quote]

J-Twitch.

Thank you for asking! I don't think I could handle being called JT-witch... even if it were just in your head.

And thank you for the warm welcome. I hope you will be able to visit Portland some day.

And I hope you understood that I thoroughly enjoyed your memoir... and am patiently awaiting the final installment(s).

[timetogosoon]

Oh my goodness you made an 8 year old lick a window hehehe. That sounds like some DH and I would do :D hahaha

[smitty89]

Loved the updated DH! I know work is a necessary evil, but keep em coming if you can find the time! We really do love hearing about your trip! :)

[crusing_guy]

[quote name='crusing_guy']ShakyBeef and Delta Hotel,

Thanks for the update.......I really do enjoy your writing / editing work....I will mark my calendar to "nag" you in about a month for your next update.

Thanks,
Mike[/quote]


Shakey Beef and Delta Hotel,

Okay.....it has been a month since your last update.......This is your friendly reminder to post your next chapter in your memoir....

Thanks,
Mike

[bludeeyank]

I should have trusted the intro warning...

[whendoweleave?]

BUT, I am subscribing so I can dig in later! :D

[ShakyBeef]

[quote name='crusing_guy']Shakey Beef and Delta Hotel,

Okay.....it has been a month since your last update.......This is your friendly reminder to post your next chapter in your memoir....

Thanks,
Mike[/quote]

Thanks, Mike! I'm surprised and impressed that anyone is still hanging on and waiting. I can assure you that he hasn't forgotten about this, and has attempted to get another installment typed up. But something keeps coming up to prevent him. He still has every intention of finishing it, but I can't tell when that might be. Wow, a month already, huh? That's embarrassing. Sorry.:o

[quote name='bludeeyank']I should have trusted the intro warning...[/quote]

He did warn you.:p But thanks for trying to read it, anyway.:D

[quote name='whendoweleave?']BUT, I am subscribing so I can dig in later! :D[/quote]

Thanks! Take your time, maybe he'll be finished writing it by the time you get to the end.:)

[Delta Hotel]

[CENTER][B][SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Day 6 – Get off our ship, you loser…[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]I awake slowly this morning. Wifey’s getting out of bed, and her movement causes me to crack one eye open to see what’s happening. I would have cracked both eyes, but the other one refuses to open, most likely due to the eye-glue which is holding it shut. Lying in bed, I focus on the movement of the ship… there isn’t any. It begins to sink in… it’s the end. We’ve reached the end of our vacation. It’s “Get off the ship” day. It’s “Get your crap off of our ship” day. It’s “Go back to your sad, pathetic, reasonably-priced-alcohol lives” day.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]The ship is docked in New York again, and from the light coming from around the curtains, it’s either early morning sunlight coming through heavy fog, smog, and general air pollution… or it’s the electric glow of Manhattan’s fluorescent and neon lights creeping into our window through the heavy fog, smog, and general air pollution. Either way, it’s early morning, and there’s a little bit of sickly light coming through our curtains.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]I throw my hand over the edge of the bed and grab my secondary laptop from my night-stand cabinet and swing it up onto my chest, and turn it on. I realize that my air-card isn’t in the laptop, so I reach over to my green, plastic basket on the night stand and grab my air-card. With my one eye and two uncoordinated hands, I fumble around until I get the card inserted into the side of my laptop. Once that’s over, I drop my head on the pillow and my arms fall to my sides, and I rest as my laptop finishes booting up.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Once I get the laptop started up, I wait for my hundreds of emails to flow in, glancing at their subject lines as they scroll by. I close my eyes and drop my head on my pillow again. Listening to the quiet cabin, I hear that Wifey’s in the bathroom going through her morning routine, and the girls are still sleeping in their beds, lightly snoring.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]A few minutes later, after dismissing most of my emails as being “not that important”, “that can wait until tomorrow”, or “it doesn’t matter if I respond now because it’s not going to change their mind”, I close my laptop, and set it on the floor next to my bed. I take a few deep breaths before swinging my warm socks (which happen to contain feet) out of the safe-haven of the sheets and blanket, and sending them into the cold, cruel world once more.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Using the little bit of light coming from the window, I stagger around the cabin to collect all of the stuff that I didn’t pack last night. I know that we’re not going to be coming back to the room once we leave, so I change into my “going home” clothes which I had set out the night before. On the last day of our cruises, Wifey and I don’t’ normally like to take showers. It feels odd somehow; at least for me, it feels as though I’m suddenly intruding on the shower which now belongs to the next passengers… it’s no longer my shower, I’m just supposed to get my stuff out of their cabin before they get here. I do, however, wait until everyone’s done getting ready and then I take the green soap. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]On the last day, my attitude is more of the, “Fine, you want me to get off your ship?! I’ll get off your ship… and I’ll do it with the least amount of enjoyment possible. There, is THAT what you wanted?!” approach. Sounds a bit spiteful, I know. You may also be thinking to yourself, “Your stubborn denial of personal enjoyment isn’t hurting anyone but you… perhaps you should consider enjoying what you can, and making the most of the time that you have left on the ship – you paid for it…” [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Yes, I’ve already considered all of this. Someone in this world has to be cantankerous so that the word “cantankerous” doesn’t become extinct. I’m doing the literary world a public service. So, bite me. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]After changing into my jeans and polo shirt to go home, I slide my carry-on over to the edge of the bed, lay it on its back, and open it up. I reach into the small suitcase and pull out one of the wadded up plastic bags and drop my pajamas and sleep socks in. Before the cruise, while we’re packing, Wifey hands me a handful of plastic bags for the purpose of packing up at the end of the cruise since we’ve had issues in the past with packing up. For some reason, the packing-to-go-home process doesn’t mirror the packing-to-go-on-vacation process. Anyway, so I put my laundry into my carry-on, and pack up my laptops, electronics, and place my bedside junk into my case. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Now it’s time to help Wifey with the girls. Both girls had their outfits laid out the night before. The big girl dresses herself and I help the little girl change out of her jammies. It’s about 6AM, maybe a little bit after 6AM. There’s no clock in the room, so I’m not sure… I’m just basing this on the time on my computer from 10-15 minutes earlier. Either way, it’s much too early for me to be awake, and by the looks of it, it’s too early for the girls, too. The 5-year-old is standing in front of me with her eyes closed and wobbling slightly as I dress her. The older girl tries to enter the closet thinking that it’s the bathroom.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Once we have all of our stuff packed up, our carry-on’s zipped up, and all four of us dressed – it’s time for breakfast. I don’t really care for breakfast, but Wifey insists that we go to the dining room for breakfast… so we go. We leave all of our stuff in the cabin, and place the “Snoozin’” door hanger on the outside of the door so the room steward doesn’t come in and start cleaning. We’re on our way to the Platinum Dining Room.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]On the way to breakfast, we run across Mom and Dad exiting the Platinum Dining Room; they had already had breakfast and were now headed back to their room to finish packing and to vacate their temporary boat-home. Mom and Dad briefly considered joining us for breakfast, just to be company at the table, but one glance at the line of people waiting to get into the dining room quickly squashes that idea. Mom and Dad head off, and tell us that they’ll be waiting in the lobby near the sushi bar for debarkation. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Wifey, the girls, and I wait about 5-10 minutes, then a hostess leads us through the dining room and seats us at a table along the outer edge. We don’t get a “window table”, but we’re in the row just inside the window tables. So, now we wait. It probably takes another 5 minutes before we meet our waitress and get our menus, and another 10-15 minutes before our waitress comes by to take our order. My girls can take a long time to decide what they want, but we had extra time to decide this morning. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[COLOR=black][IMG]http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb479/Delta_Hotel/Glory%20Day%206/Nd3_2148.jpg[/IMG][/COLOR]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Daughter #2 has opted for the baked apple and Special K cereal for her breakfast. Daughter #1 orders the bacon, sausage links, and cream of wheat. I order the fried eggs and a side of sausage links and toast. Wifey chooses the baked apple, and a ham and cheese omelette. The girls had plain milk. I had coffee (one cream, two sugars), and Wifey had her normal hot tea (half cream, eight sugars). [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]While we wait for our breakfast to come out, I start taking pictures… again. I suppose I didn’t really stop taking pictures long enough for it to qualify as “start taking pictures” – it’s more like, I briefly paused my picture-taking in order to select what I wanted to eat for breakfast, and then resumed my picture-taking. For a long time now, I’ve thought that if I take enough pictures of the girls, they’d get so used to the idea of having a camera pointed at them, that they wouldn’t even notice it… well, that hasn’t happened yet. All three of my girls still make conscious efforts to thwart my attempts at moderately decent family photography.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[COLOR=black][IMG]http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb479/Delta_Hotel/Glory%20Day%206/Nd3_2151.jpg[/IMG][/COLOR]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Finally! Breakfast has arrived! The baked apples are beautiful. They come out on a little white bowl and look as if they’ve been painted from the inside out… the picture doesn’t quite do the colors justice. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[COLOR=black][IMG]http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb479/Delta_Hotel/Glory%20Day%206/Nd3_2198.jpg[/IMG][/COLOR]

[COLOR=black][IMG]http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb479/Delta_Hotel/Glory%20Day%206/Nd3_2209.jpg[/IMG][/COLOR]

[COLOR=black][IMG]http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb479/Delta_Hotel/Glory%20Day%206/Nd3_2217.jpg[/IMG][/COLOR]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Ok, so now that breakfast is on the table, I begin to feel the time-crunch. I can hear the muffled announcements from the hallway. I can’t make out the words over the clatter of the staff, kitchen, and the general white noise of breakfast guests in the dining room – but I know that the announcements are the auditory herding of the people-sheep. Wifey and I used to listen to these announcements like we were listening to “War of the Worlds” – perfectly still and staring intently at the ceiling so that we didn’t miss a single word of instruction. Now… when I hear the announcement, I continue whatever I’m doing and just listen for key words like “fire”, “sinking”, and “overboard”. My game plan is pretty much, “if it’s really important, Wifey will tell me.”[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]We eat quickly and rush the girls through their breakfast. At the end of our meal, we waste no time. We get up, tidy up the table a little bit and make sure we haven’t left anything behind, and quickly head toward our cabin to pick up our carry-ons. We grab our things, say our fond farewell to our cabin, leave a tip for the room steward inside of a “Thank you” card, tucked into the mouth of a towel animal, and leave our boat-home for the last time.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Feeling the finality of our family vacation, we walk a little slower now as we make our way to the lounge area outside of the sushi bar and teen club area. We don’t say much. We just walk with our carry-ons dragging sluggishly behind us.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]We pass through the casino and see Mom and Dad sitting in one of the round benches, reading their respective books. This seating area is relatively empty, with plenty of open seats and benches. When I say “relatively empty”, it’s relative to the other public seating areas and lounges on the ship during debarkation. Normally, people are piled into these public areas, many of which are standing around waiting for their debarkation zone number to be called. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]We set our bags next to our chairs, and try to get them out of the walkway as much as possible. There are a couple of available arm-chairs nearby, so we take those and encircle the little round, heavily lacquered table with the idea of playing cards while we wait for our zone numbers to be called. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]I don’t remember what number Mom and Dad have, but at one point, Dad asks Wifey, “what’s your number?” [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]“Thirty one” Wifey replies.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“Whoa!” <chuckles> “You guys are gonna be here a while.”[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“Yeah, I know… when we got our tags last night, I thought, ‘that can’t be real… thirty one?! I don’t even think they [I]go that high!’” [/I]Wifey adds.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]I chime in with, “Yeah, it doesn’t sound right… the highest zone numbers that I’ve seen on other people’s luggage are all in the high teens – like 16 and 18.”[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]We all silently wonder about the odd gap between our “31” zone number and what we think of as the normal range of zone numbers. Oh well… back to playing cards.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Just to pass the time, we default to playing euchre. It’s a quick game, low stress and fast rounds, which makes it perfect for sitting around and waiting. After a while, we get bored of playing cards, and time seems to be passing very slowly. The girls are playing with their toys on the empty bench beside us. Something having to do with fairies chasing unicorns, and someone owing someone else money for a castle… I don’t catch all of the details.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]We sit and wait as the announcements call the various zone numbers… it seems to take about 10-15 minutes between each zone number. I realize that if this pattern continues, by the time they get to zone 31, Wifey and I will be assigned a new cabin since the Glory will be sailing back down the river.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Wifey’s Mom reads part of Daughter #1’s newly acquired Nancy Drew book to the girls to pass some more time. This part of our vacation is really slow-going. Waiting to [I]get on[/I] the ship has a certain level of excitement. Waiting to get [I]off [/I]of the ship has a completely different feeling – similar to sitting in the school office just outside of the principal’s office, or maybe like sitting in the waiting room of the dentist.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[COLOR=black][IMG]http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb479/Delta_Hotel/Glory%20Day%206/Nd3_2229.jpg[/IMG][/COLOR]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Mom and Dad have decided that even though their debarkation zone number is much lower than ours, they’ll wait for our zone number and leave with us. If they get up and leave us when their number is called, they’ll just be sitting outside on the parking garage waiting for us anyway… since we’re driving back to Maryland together, and we’re also sharing luggage between the vehicles. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Luckily, the wait gets dramatically shorter when we notice the announcer calling zones in groups. The first zones, like zone 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5, were all called individually, with a long wait between the next group. Well, I didn’t notice when it happened, but they switched to calling the zones in bulk. For example, they’d call “zones 10 through 14”, and “zones 15 through 20”. Pretty soon, they called the group which included our zone. Yay! We get to leave now![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[Kelane]

[quote name='Delta Hotel'][CENTER][B][SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Day 6 – Get off our ship, you loser…[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER]

[/quote]


LOL!! Happy Thanksgiving to your faithful followers!

Thanks!

Karen

[Delta Hotel]

[quote name='Kelane']LOL!! Happy Thanksgiving to your faithful followers!

Thanks!

Karen[/quote]

Thanks Karen! I'm mildly shocked that there's anyone still left after my multi-month break from writing this thing. We had an OK Thanksgiving... it always [I]seems [/I]like a good idea to get a bunch of family together in one place until you actually do it... but it's still nice to see the kids in the family growing up.

Anyway, now that things are slowing up at work, I should be able to get a little more typing done and possibly finish up this memoir soon!

DH

[Cruisin'Lovebirds]

Loved your writing style. I think we may take this trip again - the 7-day, with four ports. We had a wonderful time a few years ago and found many other excursions we wished we had time for. Thank you for this detail!

[Pistol Packin Mama]

[B]You can rest over the holidays, don't you have another cruise early next year? You can start all over again. Have really enjoyed the review.[/B]

[crusing_guy]

Delta Hotel and ShakyBeef,

Thanks for the update.....I have to admit that I was checking on almost a daily basis for an update to the memoir......You did not disappoint. I am sad that it will be coming to a end soon.....Thanks for a very enjoyable read. I wish I had your talent to write/edit.

Thanks again,
Mike

[Delta Hotel]

[quote name='crusing_guy']Delta Hotel and ShakyBeef,

Thanks for a very enjoyable read. I wish I had your talent to write/edit.

Thanks again,
Mike[/quote]

Gee, thanks Mike. I honestly have to say that if I have any writing ability - it's some kind of fluke, and defintely not any practiced skill, since I'm barely literate, and have read even less books than my 9-year-old daughter. I'm still ahead of my 5-year-old on the number of books read, but not for long it seems.

Thank you for the compliement - as well as everyone else who's expressed a similar sentiment. Perhaps this memoir will get dragged out for another month (which doesn't seem to be hard for me to do) and I can swing right into my next one after the January cruise! I think my only problem now is that it seems to take me 7-8 months to write one of these things, and we seem to be cruising every 6 months. That math doesn't work out well for my day-job.

DH

[Delta Hotel]

Hey everyone, I just had an idea! We'll turn this memoir into a little game. I will send a FREE air guitar to anyone that can tell me what my favorite color is! All you have to do is reply to this post, tell me the correct color, and then send me $10 for shipping and handling - and the FREE air guitar is YOURS!!! I'll even sign it for you!

DH!

[Kelane]

[quote name='Delta Hotel']Hey everyone, I just had an idea! We'll turn this memoir into a little game. I will send a FREE air guitar to anyone that can tell me what my favorite color is! All you have to do is reply to this post, tell me the correct color, and then send me $10 for shipping and handling - and the FREE air guitar is YOURS!!! I'll even sign it for you!

DH![/quote]

WOW...what a deal! If I didn't already have 3 air guitars, I would jump all over it because ANY one who's been here since post 1 knows that answer!:rolleyes:

btw...since you are on and off your laptop daily while you cruise, why not just type in your notes daily and then you will be almost ready to post it by the time you get back!:D See, we are always thinking for you.

[ShakyBeef]

[quote name='Delta Hotel']Hey everyone, I just had an idea! We'll turn this memoir into a little game. I will send a FREE air guitar to anyone that can tell me what my favorite color is! All you have to do is reply to this post, tell me the correct color, and then send me $10 for shipping and handling - and the FREE air guitar is YOURS!!! I'll even sign it for you!

DH![/quote]


And I'll throw in a free air drum set (yes, a whole set!) if you can tell us if he's wearing socks right now.

No, nevermind. If you knew that it would just be stalker-creepy. As in "I'm watching you right now. Those are nice socks you're wearing." kinda creepy.

[ShakyBeef]

[quote name='Delta Hotel']Hey everyone, I just had an idea! We'll turn this memoir into a little game. I will send a FREE air guitar to anyone that can tell me what my favorite color is! All you have to do is reply to this post, tell me the correct color, and then send me $10 for shipping and handling - and the FREE air guitar is YOURS!!! I'll even sign it for you!

DH![/quote]

I just noticed you called this a sweepstakes. Does that mean if the winner is Canadian, they'll have to answer a math question in addition to the sock question to get the air guitar?

[Delta Hotel]

[quote name='ShakyBeef']I just noticed you called this a sweepstakes. Does that mean if the winner is Canadian, they'll have to answer a math question in addition to the sock question to get the air guitar?[/quote]

Correction: This is NOT a sweepstakes - it's a standard, no-luck-involved contest. If I remove the "luck factor" then I'm all good on the Canadian side of the border. Although I've now made it a contest and not a sweepstakes, and have removed the element of luck, in the event of a Canadian winner, they will still need to answer a math question, and shipping and handling now goes to $57 Canadian, or $92.50USD.

[usafchick1980]

I loved this review..I just have to say.

I also need to tell you that I thought of this review a few times on my honeymoon on the Valor in October.

I thought about your comments about the soap..and I found myself trying to get my hands squeaky and not so slippy.

I pointed out the ding and ding dong of the elevators to my husband.

We also had fighting neighbors. Only 1 night though..or should I say morning..they woke us up around 3am one morning..and every other word was the F word. I was very close to calling security..and it wasn't for a few minutes..nope..it lasted at least 1 hour.

[crusing_guy]

Delta Hotel,

Green is your favorite color, if my memory is correct. Does the air guitar come with free lessons?

Mike

[Delta Hotel]

[quote name='crusing_guy']Delta Hotel,

Green is your favorite color, if my memory is correct. Does the air guitar come with free lessons?

Mike[/quote]

WINNER WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER!!! **

DING! DING! DING! DING!

Unfortunately, the air guitar doesn't come with lessons; it doesn't even come with the shoulder strap or a pick. You'll have to provide your own.

** Thanks to rnvattes, this chicken dinner line occurs in my head at least 3 times a week now **

[Delta Hotel]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Lugging bags, kids, and our sadness (which is so heavy by now that it almost has a measurable weight), we work our way down to Deck 3 to debark. By the time we get to the lobby, the line is relatively short and moves quickly. Apparently during the time it took to get all the way up to Zone 31, almost every person which isn’t a crewmember has left the ship. It felt like Zone 31 consisted of only 10 people. Why even HAVE a Zone 31?! But, as with most things that don’t seem to make sense, I’m sure there’s a very intelligent, heavily-accented person somewhere that came to the conclusion that a Zone 31 must exist for the Glory’s debarkation process to run smoothly. Who am I to question the man behind the curtain, eh?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]This is it… we’re approaching the doors which lead to the gangway. I can smell the New York air outside wafting in through the double doors. The sound of electronic “bings” fill the air every second or two as the last passengers roll their wheely bags over the rubber “please don’t trip on the wires and extension cord” bump on the floor. There’s no time for dramatics now… must keep moving or the 4 people behind us might get annoyed that we’re holding up the line. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“BING!” <thump thump> [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“BING!” <thump thump>[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“BING!” <thump thump>[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“BING!” <thump thump>[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]The four of us walk through the doors and onto the outer deck just before the gangway and wait for Mom and Dad.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“BING!” [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“BING!” [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Mom and Dad had considered doing the “Self Assist” debarkation, in which you take all of your luggage, don’t set any of your bags outside of your cabin door, and haul it all off of the ship yourself in the morning. However, they decided to check [I]all[/I] of their bags last night instead.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]From what I can see, the upside to the Self Assist debarkation would be the ability to get off of the ship faster in the morning, and you get to skip the part in the terminal where you have to search through thousands of nearly-identical pieces of luggage in order to claim yours – hoping the whole time that someone else hasn’t accidentally (or intentionally) claimed your luggage first.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]The downside to the Self Assist debarkation would be – you have to be able to haul all of your own crap with you off of the ship. For many women, this would be nearly impossible. Hold on a second, that last statement may have sounded as though it contained a distant flicker of sexism or “male elite-ness” within it. It’s very nice that you’re still paying attention. Now, let’s move on. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Heading down the long accordion-style walkway, I can see that we’re approaching the terminal building, and I can see the long line of people waiting to pass through Customs. It’s during this time that I really start thinking about what we’re going to do about our car. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]If I hadn’t mentioned it before, or if you forgot – this morning, when the ship returned to Manhattan, it docked at a different pier than the one that we left from. When we got on the ship, it was kind of fun seeing our car parked right next to the ship – literally RIGHT next to the ship! Well, now, our car is parked on the next pier over, and I’m not really sure how we’re supposed to get from [I]this [/I]terminal to [I]that [/I]pier… but then I put it out of my head. Nothing I can do about it now, so no point in worrying. If I happen to come across an opportunity to find the answer, I will… try to remember to ask. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]When we get off of the long descending walkway, we’re one or two levels lower than the top of the parking garage. We’re now able to see the side of the ship, and we’re on a large, outdoor, concrete balcony that runs the length of the terminal building. There’s nowhere to go except into the Customs area, back on the ship, or you can jump over the rail and hit the concrete and asphalt loading area below. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]In my carry-on bag, I have a little zipper pouch near the top where I put my cell phone, my passport, wallet, and other small and necessary items. I remember that my cell phone has been turned off all morning, so as we stand in the long, slow-moving line, I reach into my zipper pocket and pull out my phone. I turn it on. After about 30 seconds of booting up, the phone’s home screen appears – and then the phone immediately starts chiming and buzzing with messages, notifications, emails, and every kind of possible “where the heck have you been?!” type of noise. I’m not surprised, so I slide the phone into my pocket and tell myself that I’ll wait a few minutes for it to finish it’s little electro-seizure, and then I’ll look at it.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]So much for my plan. Before I can move my hand from my pocket to my carry-on handle, my phone starts to ring – like a phone call, not a generic you-have-a-message ring. I reach in my pocket and pull out the phone, glance around to see if anyone else is talking on their phones (which they are) and then I answer mine. Just in case I had missed some really big posted sign that says “NO CELL PHONE USE ALLOWED IN THIS AREA” or something like it, I didn’t want to be [I]that guy[/I].[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]My caller ID tells me that it’s one of my best clients.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“Hello –“[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“Hey Buddy, where ya’ been? We’ve been trying to get you all morning!”[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“I’m just finishing my vacation. I’m in New York about to go through Customs. Can I call you back later?”[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“Yeah, sure. I was just calling to ask you if you can track down a laptop that was stolen out of my office this weekend.”[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]<Shouldering the phone, dragging luggage with hands> “Ok… I can look into it a little later today.” [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“Sure, take your time looking into it… but I need to know by noon today so I can send someone after them.”[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“I don’t think I can do it by noon. I’m in New York and I’ll be driving back to Maryland in about an hour. What? What do you mean ‘send someone after them’? Do you know who stole it?”[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“Never mind. Forget I called you. Have a nice trip home.” <beep>[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]This isn’t even one of my stranger phone calls from this client. I hang up the phone, put it back in my pocket, and continue dragging my luggage to keep up with the line. I’m really surprised by how quickly this Customs line is moving in relation to the number of people that have to get processed. I can’t see inside of the building yet, but I can see the big glass doors ahead where people are entering the building. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]At one point, the line stops for a little while, and I see that we’ve got a nice view of the Glory’s aft loading area. I walk a few steps over to the rail and watch the dance of little fork-lifts. They move quickly and concertedly to pick up pallets of supplies and deliver them to the large, square openings on the side of the ship. The little outside fork-lifts pick up their pallets of stuff, drive them over to one of the cargo doors on the ship, set them down on the edge of the ship just inside the door, then turn and drive away quickly. Within a few seconds, another little fork-lift inside the ship appears in the doorway to pick up and carry the pallet away. This occurs continuously at each door like a choreographed show – but not choreographed… It feels random, yet organized at the same time… like ants.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]I don’t have any pictures of this part of the cruise since there [I]were [/I]signs in and around the whole terminal area in addition to the audible announcements stating that photography is prohibited. On another cruise out of Baltimore, a very “persuasive” port employee almost took my camera away when she noticed me taking hundreds of pictures of the outside and inside of the port building. Again, “why would you ever want to take hundreds of pictures of a cruise terminal?” – because that’s what I do. Anyway, since that experience, I don’t take pictures of terminal buildings.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]We finally scoot forward enough to enter the building, and I see a zig-zag of temporary barriers creating a tightly packed cattle chute. At first glance, it looks like one long line, but it turns out to be two lines which run side-by-side until they reach the front.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]It takes us about 10 minutes to slowly move to the front of the line. Just before we reach the line of Customs agents sitting in their little boxes, I see two Customs officers come through with a scent dog. The officers are talking casually to each other and walking at a slow pace up and down the side of the lines. The scent dog, a beagle, is sniffing furiously all around him, but not sniffing anything in particular. The officers and the beagle approach the part of the line where I am, near the front. The dog is sniffing the edges of the carry-on bags, and whatever he’s allowed to reach from the end of his tight leash. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]As they come closer, I get nervous. I don’t know why though… and I’m sure that we don’t have anything in our bags that would interest this very nice little dog… except maybe the dried mangos. Crap. My brain starts spinning and wondering if dried mangos count as “fruits, vegetables, or plant material” which I so often see on those “Do not try to bring into the United States unless you want the nice little doggy to sit next to your bag which will then cause you to answer questions in a concrete room” warnings when we travel. Where ARE the mangos?! Did we eat them all? Did Wifey stick them in my carry-on? Is it in our checked luggage? CRAP!!![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]I stare at the quickly approaching dog as if I’m a Canadian drug dealer trying to smuggle contraband into the U.S. under the cover of “family vacation”. They’ll see right through me, I’m sure of it. I’m done for… I might as well start composing my first letter to my wife from my federal prison cell. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Just before the dog and the officers get to me – the dog turns abruptly and sniffs a black rolling carry-on bag. The dog sniffs harder than before, and even jumps up a little and puts his front paws on the carry-on to sniff the top of the bag. After two or three seconds of sniffing, the dog suddenly backs off of the bag, and sits down next to the bag and stares intently at the small piece of luggage. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]For those of you who may not be aware of this, there are several types of Customs scent dogs, but this beagle is clearly one of the “people approved” dogs. I don’t know if this is a drug dog, an agriculture dog, or perhaps both. By “people approved” dog, I mean that this dog has been trained to sit when it finds something. There are other dogs, usually German shepherds and Labradors, which are what I call the “back room dogs” which are trained to find the target item – even if it requires biting, ripping, or shredding luggage and packages. I’m pretty sure that they don’t let the “back room” dogs walk among the lines of people in the terminals… that could end quite badly.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]The beagle’s sitting. The beagle’s staring at the suitcase. The woman holding the handle of the suitcase seems to be completely oblivious to the fact that there was a dog on her luggage, and is now sitting… she’s also not noticing the two men in black uniforms with shiny badges standing next to the beagle. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]One of the officers taps the woman on the shoulder, and asks her step out of the line and to bring her belongings with her. The officers, the dog, and the woman step away from the line and then walk toward a vacant corner in the terminal. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]WHAT A RELIEF!!! I thought I was going to get the little sitting-dog act, for sure. I don’t even know if we [I]have[/I] mangos, but I was sure that I’d be caught for something. Again, we had nothing with us… I just tend to worry about things like that. Now that the pesky little scent dog is out of the picture, I just need to get past the Customs officer in the little box. This could be tough, since my name is apparently the same as a Canadian drug dealer, I’ve already been told by another Customs officer “don’t go to Canada”, and my name is on some international NO-FLY watch list. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]There’s a woman in a Customs uniform with blue rubber gloves standing near the front of the line, directing people to the next available agent. Mom and Dad are in front of us, so they get pointed to one agent, and a few seconds later, the blue-handed woman looks me in the eye, and points me to an agent. Wifey and I gather up our bags and children, and walk over to the agent in the box. I try to keep calm and NOT to say anything stupid, such as, “I know my name is on a terrorist watch list, but that’s a different Vietnamese guy from Canada”. Or perhaps something like, “Man… I’m sure glad that little dog snagged that woman’s bag before getting to [I]my [/I]bag.” I could almost feel myself wanting to say, “Excuse me officer, can you tell me exactly what it means when the form says ‘fruits, vegetables, or other plant material’?”[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]I keep my cool, and I keep my mouth shut. Wifey can smell my fear, and can probably feel the warmth coming from my sweating palms, so I just focus on staring straight ahead, and Wifey talks to the officer. My jaw is clenched as I see him taking our passports. Normally, this is where the agent would scan the barcode on my passport, some flashing message would come up, and the agent would look at me with a bad poker face, trying not to let me know that he’s looking for a sign of guilt. The agent asks his normal and obligatory questions, glances down the Customs Declaration Form, and says, “Welcome home.” He doesn’t scan the passport! It occurs to me that perhaps the cruise lines have paid off the agents somehow in order to make the debarkation process a little faster and less like an airport. Perhaps the agents don’t see cruise ships as a potential for danger. Who knows…[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]He smiles, hands us the stack of passports and waits for us to move along. I’m still in disbelief at how smoothly this went – that I’m standing still. Wifey gives me a little nudge and I snap back into it, and begin moving into the next room. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Now that we’re past all of the checkpoints which might land me in the concrete room or jail, it’s time to go play “Marco Polo” with our luggage. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Inside the terminal, just past the Customs area, is a cavernous, dimly lit room with concrete floors, concrete walls, and thousands upon thousands of pieces of luggage – about 80% of which are nearly identical. Try imagining a parking garage the size of a large high school gymnasium with 20-foot ceilings, and completely filled with black suitcases and a few duffle bags. It’s kind of like that. Since our bags are oddly colored, it should be a little easier to spot them in the sea of black bags. Since Wifey’s better at spotting her own bags, she walks ahead to locate our bags as I keep an eye on our two girls and search the nearby rows of suitcases. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]After a minute or two, Wifey locates all of our checked bags. They’re mostly in the same area, spanning about a 20 foot radius. Most of the bags seem to be arranged by the debarkation zone tag numbers, so it wasn’t a complete shot in the dark trying to find our bags. Wonderful. We’ve got all of our bags, but now we have to figure out how to get all of our crap to the car. Luckily, there are a bunch of guys in fluorescent vests with big carts just standing around talking to each other! Perhaps one of these guys would be willing to help us get our bags out to our car. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Mom and Dad are now with us, with all of their luggage, so we decide to share a cart… if we can get one. Most of the guys in vests are busy helping other people, but there’s a few standing around doing nothing… maybe it’s their break time, so I keep scanning for others. I notice a guy in a vest pulling an empty cart, so I try to get his attention. He sees me flagging him down, so he turns and comes over to our pile of stuff. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“Where are you parked?” He asks.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“I think we’re on the top level, one pier over that way” I say, gesturing toward the left wall. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“Ok, no problem. Are all of you together?”[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]“Yes, all of the bags here are ours.”[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]


[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]The man in the florescent green vest, which I will refer to as “Mr. Porter”, proceeds to load the bags onto his cart, laying each one on its side. I grab a couple of the bags and help him stack them onto the cart. In just a few more seconds, the cart is just about full, and we’ve got all of our bags on it. Here we go![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]At the end of the big parking garage for suitcases, there are two lines of people waiting to exit the building. Mr. Porter pulls the cart over to the line on the left and stops behind another porter with a cart. One of the lines is filled with porters with carts. The other line is filled with people hauling their own bags. At first glance, it appears that we’ve just selected the longer, slower line… but within a minute, I realize that although our line is longer (due to the size of the carts), it moves much faster than the line of people. We’re on the fast track![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Once we’re cleared through the luggage checkpoint, we’re in the clear, and walking through a large concrete tunnel with daylight at the other end. Although the light at the end of the tunnel gave us a comforting feeling, and I felt as though I could breathe a sigh of relief – it’s better that I don’t… because it smells bad in the tunnel. I can’t quite describe the smell, but it’s not a good one. Pretty soon, we’re at the end of the tunnel, and we can see the city in front of us.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]


[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][IMG]http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb479/Delta_Hotel/Glory%20Day%206/Nd3_2230.jpg[/IMG][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] Edited December 2, 2011 by Delta Hotel