.......idle jottings

[ho-hum]

Uh-oh ho-hum, the thought police are soon to run rampant in London. Your constant harranging of Norwegians may land you in the pokey....

 

Think we'll avoid London from here on out. Too bad, used to be a nice place. Don't want to be accused of wrong-think.

 

Well Raggy, it is Hum now that needs protecting from haranguing ........... and from his own "supposed" chums too !

He has been described in very recent pists like this !

 

Have heard that SD is negotiating with Ho-Hum to be on this cruise so you won't miss out on ancient ruins

 

But be aware we are talking about an "old British fortress", not an ancient Greek temple. :D

 

I would say more of a tumble down thatch roofed pub.:eek::D

 

Not forgetting another chum who is telling the world that Hum is a "cross dresser" !

How absurd, have you ever tried to obtain dresses in Hum's size ?

 

Yes, Hum is now shopping at the Big and Tall girl's boutique in Las Vegas and having her (um, his) outfits shipped by poor Jim. Didn't I hint at this in my previous post?

 

Can't wait for the crossing to see Hum turned out in her (damn it, his) new pant-suit for the Repeat Guests cocktail party. Rumor has it that a big LGBT travel agency has secured the few remaining cabins in support of his "coming out" declaration. The "choker chains" were a dead giveaway! :)

 

Infamy, infamy !

They've all got it "in for me" !

Host Dan will "throw the book at them" !

And quite right too.

For Hum is an Institution.

Most that meet Hum say that's where he should be: in one.

To be vilified like this is scandalous treatment of a celebrated figure who has also appeared in a major film (his performance was described as reminiscent of a young Richard Burton in his prime, smouldering sexuality and intense presence: so the critic was Hum but nevertheless it was most perceptive and true).

 

Besides Hum has not disparaged Norwegians for a while now and has made the recent shocking discovery of great humour from a countryman of theirs and from someone who is a bit of a "head honcho" in SD shoreside management too !

Tis true !

No Hum never thought he would see the day either.

There have been one or two other incidents that are beginning to alter Hum's opinion of the people of Norway but Hum must be discrete in these matters.

Matters are at a delicate stage and Hum respects their openness and candidness.

 

Hum is not admitting it was ever HE that got it wrong….....heavens forbid.

But it is the whole nation of Noway-land that is beginning to radically change because of Hum's guidance based on astute observations and finally they are ALL taking heed of Hum’s "jewels of wisdom".

Hum's teachings will be on the educational curriculum in schools too and no doubt universities alongside Kierkegaard and Ingmar Bergman.

They have all obviously listened to Hum and changed their ways and Hum encourages their collective effort and the social revolution he has single handedly been responsible for.

Akin to "Glasnost".

The tearing down of the Berlin Wall.

The Renaissance in Europe.

Combined !

 

So relations are thawing and maybe at a breakthrough point, for Hum and the missus (Blondie) have been specially invited to "The Norwegian Club, in London" !!!

A club for Norwegians in London, their inner sanctum: the great and good of Norway will be present.

How exciting it will be........for them to meet Hum.

Hum is expecting to receive a minor award for services to the Norwegian people and to be offered a small island or some such thing: they have hundreds of 'em so they can spare one.

Let's hope it has a ruddy big oil reserve under it !

Most of Norway is awash with oil and hydro-electricity.

They claim they are good business people and that’s how they are so stinking rich.

Look, any muppet would be with all that OIL.

Just look at Saudi Arabia, Iran, Nigeria, Venezuela.......point proved.

Rich but stupid, very stupid.

Lot of oil too in Trumpland.

Infer what you like……....you are wrong but Raggy is doing a remarkable job of convincing us all otherwise.

We Brits can't boast though; we had a heck of a lot of oil and frittered it all away.

They say there is a huge oil deposit under "posh land" but they have to use fracking.

"Well fracking get on with it" Hum says.

Hum would then afford to travel to SD by private jet and helicopter avoiding all those ghastly people, airports etc...

 

Besides Hum's attention has moved away from the previously alleged soooooo dull, humourless Norwegians to the obstinate, garlic smelling, Socialist, miserable, off handed, "Frogs" !

Hum would not be prosecuted but praised by true Brits.

 

Yet more awards and maybe some land too are expected to follow.

Not that "settlement" in that remote frozen wasteland overseas which they try to "palm off" to Hum every time.

More trouble than it's worth.

It makes Salem look and feel like Las Vegas.

 

So back to the "Frogs".

Our new Foreign Secretary (Boris: ruddy nice chum) visited the French embassy in London to offer a hand of friendship and they ruddy well booed him !!!

In our own ruddy country too…......what appalling manners.

Of course they guillotined everyone with manners several hundred years ago and now they are left with this collection of backward moronic peasants without any "if you please" between them !

 

 

Part 2 tomorrow.

 

Oh Jim, Hum has not forgotten.

[abenaki]

Lovely to see you in such fine form this morning, darling.

[ho-hum]

Lovely to see you in such fine form this morning, darling.

 

It's all for you my love.......it always has been sweetheart.

[gcmv]

Dearest hum,

did BoH inform you, that he will go on a Med-cruise mid September?

The Baroness of Heidelberg wanted something better than Seadream - and BoH found it!

 

SD is only #5 - our selected cruiseline is #3! ;)

 

http://www.travelandleisure.com/worlds-best/small-ocean-cruise-ships

 

Comments very welcome, old chum! :D

[ho-hum]

Sorry chums for not posting but Hum was involved in an accident, a book shelf collapsed and all the books fell off and hit Hum on the head, suppose Hum only has his shelf to blame.

[gcmv]

As my English language skills are still bad, does it mean ho-hum is a blockhead? :D

[MACT]

This message has at least three characters so it should get posted, eh?

[MACT]

No I haven't been hit on the head with a collapsing bookshelf, just have a little challenge in posting...is it my computer, is it Internet Explorer, is it the thought police...I think we should be told.

 

There are eyes watching and ears listening apparently...perhaps I shall arrange for something to hit me on the head, then all of life will appear rosy, lucid and understandable once more.

[ho-hum]

Uh-oh ho-hum, the thought police are soon to run rampant in London. Your constant harranging of Norwegians may land you in the pokey....

 

Think we'll avoid London from here on out. Too bad, used to be a nice place. Don't want to be accused of wrong-think.

 

Part 2.

 

Well dear chum, to continue...

 

Oh Raggy, Hum has tried and tried to comment on your news revelation post about our "ever so well meaning" new Mayor ("bless him") but the pomposity of hum's attempts at earlier replies was far too much for even Hum to bear.

 

He deleted the ruddy lot.

Thank Hum: for you have been spared.

 

So to be brief.

The legislation is a good thing but it will not affect freedom of speech.

No sireee.

 

Society occasionally needs reminding that our forefathers died for the protection from tyrannical regimes and for the protection of personal freedom for ALL it's citizens irrespective of race, creed, sexuality, religious view and for the ability of the disadvantaged to "make a go of it" in society and of course for us to be able to live and speak freely (and ideally, cordially).

That rare privilege should not be abused as another form of tyrannical bullying by one person over another for again and cyber bullying and downright vile, hateful posting needs addressing and seriously.

 

Bullying is a phenomena in our society.

It certainly is in Britain.

Of course in "Trumpland" you just come out and shoot each other and make a big "song and dance" about maintaining that right on the most ludicrous of reasons that no other civilised society in the world would have the "cahoonas" to even suggest !

Is that clear ?

Crystal, Hum.

Sorry, so where was Hum.

Yes America is a special case.

 

British people are quite emotionally repressed and our culture fosters this in all manner of ways.

So we have a lot of control and very little ways of expressing ourselves emotionally.

Including anger, of course.

So it is repressed anger (not suppressed: a big difference).

Repression is un-conscious: suppression is conscious.

So Brits tend to "leak repressed anger festering away into hatred inside" in various ways.

Vile "trolling" is simply an evolved "poison pen letter" used at it's peak in Victorian England and especially by women: the most repressed element of that Society at the time.

Even people leading campaigns against perceived injustices show quite fanatical hatred towards their fellow man (take Animal Rights "nut jobs". By The way Hum was a vegetarian for over 20 years, so he is not disparaging the message of preventing cruelty to animals. Oh no.).

 

In "Trumpland" you see British tv series and there is always a British murder series.

It's because we are always plotting dastardly murders on our neighbours, relatives, employers, employees, in fact anyone whom we correctly or in-correctly perceived had slighted us in any way, such as not saying "good morning" in a sufficiently cheery way whilst passing them in the lane.

Of course Yanks have no idea what a lane is.

No it's not a lane on a vast motorway.

It is a small road in the countryside.

Americans never walk, they drive.

 

So in Britain, that perceived slight is sufficient to plot MURDER.

And a jury of English people may even acquit the person !

Oh how Hum exaggerates but there is an element of truth.

Take another actual example.

Whilst chatting to a senior crew on SD, the subject of some truly ghastly English people arose. Now he thought the couple were charming, always smiling being pleasant etc.. and so he was amazed to read a copy of a most spiteful letter from them about some minor nonsense or other.

He was shocked.

But onboard they never said a word, he told Hum.

They were always so polite and pleasant, he added.

And that can be the experience, sadly, of some of Hum's countrymen.

Civility and good manners concealing a "pit of repressed seething hatred".

And it is a condition sadly infiltrating the lower classes too!

Of course, the middle classes have been "riddled" with it for years.

Most of our most famous murderers are "middle class".

Sorry, where was Hum going.

We now have the internet with which to send odious and vile messages.

Hurray.

Progress.

But this is the next arena.

Bullying.

Despicable and cruel and injurious and most often aimed at the gentlest.

It makes Hum's blood boil !

 

And, as you well know Raggy, you "mischief maker", you...

Banter on the other hand is an expression of affection actually but again care must be used not to offend: you can always say sorry too, if you have gone too far.

Banter is verbal sport.

Indeed to be the "victim" of someone's banter indicates the level of affection with which one is held.

Well that is how Hum deludes himself.

Yes, it adopts the inverse ratio.

Wimmin would never adopt banter.

Far too evolved a species: they would say something charming about the others person.

"Oh Felicity, your hair is glistening tonight. Oh how I would like hair like yours"

Hum is nudged to join in and says something banal.

"Yes, nice shoes too 'gal, Hum's Mum had a pair just like that but the dogs chewed 'em all out, they did and no mistakin'".

You didn't know Hum spoke like an extra from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (no Hum but more like "prats" of the English Channel).

Self-deprecation you see, no not "defecation" you twit !

 

Hum has a dear, dear chum who pops over when Hum is opening something good (vino darling, vino) and the first thing he usually says is "how have you been you old tart" or "how have you been you big poof".

And instantly Hum knows, he is on fine form and deserving of sharing a fine Bordeaux.

It's love you see.

No of course you ladies wont get it.

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

 

Now, turning attention to Hum's disparaging of entire countries (French & Norwegians are the usual flavours).

First let Hum make it clear.

The "oh soooooo dull" Norwegians Hum refers to are mostly men though the really older ones are fun.

The Captains on SD are wholly excluded too, indeed they are ruddy heroes to Hum.

Hum tells you straight, he would rather have these guys than the Costa C baffoon.

 

Turning to the French.

Hum adores all things French.

Again it is the bureaucrats and the Unionists and it's true they are awful.

 

Hum is a fool, everyone knows it, Hum ruddy well knows it.

So how can anyone with any intelligence really be offended.

Unless they wish to be and there are people like that.

It gives Hum the opportunity to say a heartfelt sorry to all those that Hum has offended or even slighted be that religion, politics or any such stuff that is important to you, dearest of chums.

Hum's only wish is to comfort and bring a little happiness in this, sometimes cruel, cruel world.

 

Ooooh Hum's looking at the tv and sees there are fires in southern California ...... hope everybody is ok and you dear chum.

The American people are so stoic and brave and resolute.

You guys have some amazing qualities you know.

God bless you.

 

By the way Hum is a "nut job" too, he cannot abide seeing cruelty whether it is towards women, children, animals, the elderly, the disabled (mentally and physically) and Hum is afraid to say he has reacted quite angrily and forcefully whenever he has very, very occasionally witnessed it.

There are really bad people in the world.

Yes they may have problems too but in the first instance they must be stopped, roughly even lethally at times (as a last and regrettable resort).

 

Oh my Hum has become too personal, too showing too much of himself, so what, Hum is amongst chums.

 

And it's the weekend again....have a loving one chums.

[ho-hum]

As my English language skills are still bad, does it mean ho-hum is a blockhead? :D

 

Don't give me that Baron !

Your English skills are better than Hum's !

You have been "playing that card" (spielen diese karte) for way too long (für viel zu lange) and Hum is on to you (Hum bin auf Sie) "mein weiner schnitzel" (my hot dog !).

[ho-hum]

No I haven't been hit on the head with a collapsing bookshelf, just have a little challenge in posting...is it my computer, is it Internet Explorer, is it the thought police...I think we should be told.

 

There are eyes watching and ears listening apparently...perhaps I shall arrange for something to hit me on the head, then all of life will appear rosy, lucid and understandable once more.

 

You're ramblin' sir !

Complete jibberish....pull yourself together, you're British sir, dont want "Johnny foreigner" to see you like this.

Think of the morale, sir.

You are a leading example.

 

So, you're back....didn't drown in the "briney" off....where was it now?

 

Hum wants your thoughts on everything........Trump to start with....

Now pour yourself a "toddy" or two or three and tell Hum all after a hearty meal, a good night's sleep and a bowl of porridge with Demerara sugar, a nip of whisky and full cream, in the moooorrrrnyng.

 

Glad to have you back dearest chum.

[TrapperZimmy]

Sorry chums for not posting but Hum was involved in an accident, a book shelf collapsed and all the books fell off and hit Hum on the head, suppose Hum only has his shelf to blame.

 

Sorry to hear about your accident. Did the crayons all spill, as well?

[Jim Avery]

sorry to hear about your accident. Did the crayons all spill, as well?

 

lol:d:d

[ho-hum]

Sorry to hear about your accident. Did the crayons all spill, as well?

 

Crayons !

 

You mean you're allowed crayons.....Hum is'nt !

Not after Blondie found Hum scribbling on the wall......but that was a few years ago !

[ho-hum]

lol:d:d

 

First GCMV

Then MACT

Followed by TZ

Now Jim

Have the posters here all gone "do-lalley" ?

 

What the "blue blazes" does "d:d" mean ?

Is it some sort of "gangsta text" by Hum's "hoody chum".

And yes "lol" means "lots of love".

Is it rude ?

Hum thinks the heat might have got to him.

 

 

Of course Hum does'nt need heat to send him "do-lalley".

Sincere apologies to all if Hum "went over the top" in recent pists though the temperatures were well over 23C today .... even had to take a cardigan off !

 

Did'nt Hum go on.

He's gettin' worse !

Silly old fool.

Edited August 19, 2016 by ho-hum

[ho-hum]

I am sure Blondie will say that of course you may dance. Music seems to accompany her wherever she goes. And I don't mean just when Ho-Hum has had the 3-bean salad at lunch.

 

Haha

....so it's not just music in the air then ?

Too much ?

Sorry folks.

Whatever you're drinking TZ....keep going.

Hum also does requests.

[Jim Avery]

The hills are alive with the sound of Ho-Hum.....:eek::D

[ho-hum]

The hills are alive with the sound of Ho-Hum.....:eek::D

 

Yep, they're "full of it" right enough.....

[ho-hum]

Dearest hum,

did BoH inform you, that he will go on a Med-cruise mid September?

The Baroness of Heidelberg wanted something better than Seadream - and BoH found it!

 

SD is only #5 - our selected cruiseline is #3! ;)

 

http://www.travelandleisure.com/worlds-best/small-ocean-cruise-ships

 

Comments very welcome, old chum! :D

 

Well, well, well, Baron…………so when did you hit your head and lose all your appreciation for the finer things in life ?

 

What happened to the “wunder bra” Europa too ?

 

Has the German economy been so bad ?

 

Hahaha

 

Of course Baron, Hum is only joking.

Now quite how SD became No.5 and “Qark” became No.2 escapes Hum ……..

Preposterous assessment.

 

Hum has news for you, from Hum’s No.1 chum in the whole of Germany, you have dropped to No.18 and Hum only knows 7 !

Hum used to respect you.

First you did’nt like the Verdicchio from Sardinia (or was it the Vermentino ?).

Then you “fiddled” with all emission readings on VW cars (Hum drives a Porsche Cayenne Turbo and Blondie a Merc SL; so thankfully we were safe !)

And now this !!

Donner und blitzen !!!

Nein, nein, nein !!

 

No Hum jokes.

Please tell us all how awful it was, sorry Hum meant, how great a time you had.

What “alcohol package” are you going for ?

Haha

By the way, those sails don’t get changed by themselves but you’ll sure have a great view from the top of the mast for iceberg watch between 2.30-5.00am.

All passengers have to do it.

You know when you are on the deck and it “rocks” a bit…can you imagine what it will be like for you 25.0 metres higher !!!

How many people are you sharing your cabin with ?

Make sure your hammock has no tears in it; don’t want to see you falling through the middle !

Just friendly advice old chum.

 

How can you treat the Baronness to such, such, such…… words fail Hum.

The poor, poor woman.

 

Hum is sure you will have a great old time of it with your wonderful lady.

It looks a fascinating vessel and it surely looks pretty.

Hum and the rest of us would love to hear your fair and honest opinion.

 

Hum and Blondie are on SDII in September; maybe we will see you sailing by.

People say Hum is just a creature of habit.

And that is true.

When you have great crew, great service on a great ship….you kinda get used to be treating well.

 

 

All the very best, dearest chum.

Don't mind Hum.

Please tell us all about it.

Don't be 20 minutes late for departure !

 

Any chums been on Windstar who can give some advice to our chum from Hi-de-hi-burp ?

[Jim Avery]

I have to agree with Mr. Hum this time. No way SD is #5. I am (hopefully) attaching a photo of #3's most traveled passenger.:D

[ho-hum]

I have to agree with Mr. Hum this time. No way SD is #5. I am (hopefully) attaching a photo of #3's most traveled passenger.:D

 

Ahaaa !!!!

Knock Hum down with a feather !

So the rumours were true !

TrapperZ as Hum lives and breathes !

Rumours of him in being in the Royal Navy were true.

He hasn't aged a bit.

Was that when you were both on convoys Jim ?

Hum salutes the pair of you "jolly tars".

Is there a photo of you too ?

Maybe Hum could "dig up something" ?

Would you like that old chum ?

 

A photo from Jim too ..... what a treat !

Not exactly Bill Gates but progress none the less.

Great job, old chum.

[Jim Avery]

Ahaaa !!!!

Knock Hum down with a feather !

So the rumours were true !

TrapperZ as Hum lives and breathes !

Rumours of him in being in the Royal Navy were true.

He hasn't aged a bit.

Was that when you were both on convoys Jim ?

Hum salutes the pair of you "jolly tars".

Is there a photo of you too ?

Maybe Hum could "dig up something" ?

Would you like that old chum ?

 

A photo from Jim too ..... what a treat !

Not exactly Bill Gates but progress none the less.

Great job, old chum.

 

You already have my picture Ho. My Avatar might be a few years old but I am still a good lookin young buckaroo....:eek::D

[TrapperZimmy]

Ahaaa !!!!

Knock Hum down with a feather !

So the rumours were true !

TrapperZ as Hum lives and breathes !

Rumours of him in being in the Royal Navy were true.

He hasn't aged a bit.

Was that when you were both on convoys Jim ?

Hum salutes the pair of you "jolly tars".

 

Aye, Hum, that photo was taken when I mustered out of Her Majesty's Navy. But that was so long ago. Since then I have had the most wonderful plastic surgery. Comparing it with my current picture, wouldn't you agree? Jim, I'd be happy to give you his number. It isn't too late.

[ho-hum]

You already have my picture Ho. My Avatar might be a few years old but I am still a good lookin young buckaroo....:eek::D

 

Aye, Hum, that photo was taken when I mustered out of Her Majesty's Navy. But that was so long ago. Since then I have had the most wonderful plastic surgery. Comparing it with my current picture, wouldn't you agree? Jim, I'd be happy to give you his number. It isn't too late.

 

..... and just where is the "sport" these days ?

Hum's chums are so ruddy agreeable, good humoured and "game" !

Back to the Norwegians and "Frogs" it is then !

[Jim Avery]

..... and just where is the "sport" these days ?

Hum's chums are so ruddy agreeable, good humoured and "game" !

Back to the Norwegians and "Frogs" it is then !

 

Right you are Mr. Hum. Trapper and I are certainly game-y.....:eek: