Freedom of the Seas - Photo Review - 3/30 to 4/6 - Western Caribbean

[metphan714]

 

As one of the more civilized ports on our itinerary and one of the largest banking capitols in the world, you'd think the powers that be, or at least Diamonds International, could have sprung for a cruise ship docking pier at this port. Heck, even outlaw Roatan bothered to pony up the funds for one. What gives Cayman?

 

As a result, every day, each of the several cruise ships in port have to go through the laborious exercise of tendering passengers off the ship. As much as I'll complain about the cheapskate banksters in Grand Cayman, I will admit the private tender businesses they hire to perform the task do a decent job at it. But that's no excuse for not having a proper dock and I'm probably not the first to say I refuse to shelter many of my assets here because of it.

 

As Suite stateroom guests, we take full advantage of our concierge who has the power to commandeer elevators and line-cut the rest of you trying to get a jump on your day.

 

But in the end, Grand Cayman is a strange little place. Especially for an island that's really just a downtown Little Rock. Basically, if you're not into petting wild stingrays or caravaning it off to an overcrowded beach, there really isn't much to do here. Except shelter money.

 

 

After the obligatory picture with the pirate (I counted, we did a total of 5) we hopped a group-share taxi off to infamous 7-mile beach where we paid our stupid 10 bucks to pop our asses down into a beach chair for 2-hours, sitting in the same sun that was basking the Freedom of the Seas several miles away, and then waiting for a taxi van to fill up before we could make our way back to the ship.

 

Having repeated this inane ritual countless times, over the course of several years, across the Caribbean, I have begged, gotten down on my knees, self-flagellated and even offered cash to my wife - all in a vain attempt to convince her to stay on the ship just one day while we're at port. Just one friggin' time. And in over 10 years of cruising, despite visiting some of the same ports ad nauseam, she has never once been able to resist the call to get off the ship. This has led to countless horror stories - the isolated beach from which there was no cab back - the torturous 12-mile moped ride to a south shore beach (while I was hungover) when there were comparable beaches within walking distance of the pier - the top ten rated beach (according to Discovery Channel) that we just had to seek-out only to find they'd failed to mention that their criteria for Top-ten didn't require amenities like food, shade, port-a-potty or even a measly postcard for some reason.

 

One of these days, I will make good on my threat to book a surprise cruise - entirely on my own - on which I will bring along some bondage gear, a house-arrest ankle bracelet and a cattle prod to prevent my wife from leaving the cruise ship at port - in order to show her there is no reason to endure tender hassles, group-grope shared cabs and questionable service providers when we could just as happily hang out on the ship and enjoy it like it was a private yacht.

 

Do you think that dream will ever be realized?

 

 

Okay. So admittedly, hanging out pool side isn't EXACTLY the same as the scene above. And with the loss of Suite-Only seating on the levels around the pool, the beach may offer a tiny edge. But to me, it's not worth the expense and hassle. Especially since the same sun shines on both Deck 14 and 7-mile beach. It just seems to me the ship experience, while in port, would be the shore excursion of my dreams.

 

Am I climbing up the wrong coconut tree here. Or does anyone agree?

 

I TOTALLY agree about staying on board and having a better time with less hassle than getting off the ship. If I wanted to get out and be on a dirty island I would go to Long Island

 

Full disclosure: I'm only a platinum member, I only admit this because I assume that Royal sends all of the Diamond, Diamond Plus, Plutonium members a list of cruise critic members and their current status. I also recognize the sarcasm of a fellow New Yorker, even though you are a downstater, I won't assume the worst of you :)

 

I'm not sure I'm understanding the photo package you described can you provide a brochure if they have one ?

 

Looking forward to seeing you on the first port free cruise

[1northstar]

Helllloooo .... Where are you? Your people are waiting..... Lonnnggg sigh

[FloGaleRNTX]

No kidding!! This is one of the best reviews I have ever read!!!!

 

Barb

[WinksCruises]

You folks are still reading this? Holy mackerel! Is it really that difficult to tear yourself away from this lavish (some would say rambling and overwritten) broad stroke portrait of the high life at seas that is defined by Diamond level living? Shyeah, like you're ever going to grasp this ladder rung of success - up here with us! Good luck! Aren't the Real Housewives (of some hell-hole or another) on to seize your ADHD riddled attention spans away from this dribble?

 

Oh well, that's okay, I guess I understand. We once were in your water shoes, too. (Before that fateful day we climbed Dunn's River Falls, that is). Thriving off the crumbs and morsels the elite crowd would drop in their wake, like the crusty bread offerings the servants in the main dining room rake off our tables using that funny little metal doohickey every evening.

 

Yes, always wanting a glimpse at the good life, we too used to stand down, our mouths agape, as those with finer upbringing, financial integrity and that certain je ne sais quoi (superior genes or a kick-ass travel agent) cut into line so effortlessly at every ship function we attended.

 

And we wanted more...

 

 

Here we are posing for a photo with the one guy who makes "More" happen for all of us, the Suite sailing privileged - our concierge, Bertie. That he is flashing gang signs here, with Cozumel MX still a stop to go, is a little bit disconcerting. But his port-side social affiliations not withstanding, while on board, serving in his professional capacity, he did an excellent job - and that job, btw, consists solely of keeping the 40 or so Suite-worthy guests, like us, satisfied and liquored up. And in his non-ending quest to produce such a tier of satisfaction, one afternoon near the end of the cruise, he had one of the housekeeping minions deliver this adorable invitation - that you see showcased above - to our stateroom, discreetly, and in a sealed envelope.

 

A gallery tour? You mean, an exclusive opportunity to peak behind the scenes and see how tonight's escargot is being prepared? Why yes sir, that sounds intriguing. Thank you very much. And did they serve mimosas as we waited for our fellow Suite guests to gather in the dining room? You betcha!

 

 

After a couple of mimosas, the executive chef arrived and gave us a brief overview of what it's like to run a cruise ship kitchen. This talk, of course, contained all those boring stats you've read or heard a thousand times before... each night we serve xxx number of dinners to xxx number of guests which equates to 300 Million pineapple halves and 200 tanks of live lobsters (okay, I made that one up) that we have to boil live every night.

 

Then it's off into the ship's galley, one of the three floors of it anyway, where we got to observe chefs (or maybe they were just actors from the showroom ensemble; would we really know the difference?) working on everything from shrimp cocktail to soups & sauces.

 

 

Instead of asking cool questions like, has anyone ever sliced off their finger on the tomato slicer or have you ever been responsible for a full scale ptomaine poisoning outbreak on-board, (things I'd like to know!) our assembled group kept the back-and-forth with the chef pristine and just wanted to know if they ever refreshed food stock during the journey (no) and how do they keep the strawberries from spoiling for a week (buy ultra fresh and keep in freshness preserving, controlled temperature and humidity storage units)

 

Then it was over to the bakery section, where we saw why the bread on these cruise ships is to incredibly good (and pound packing!); it's made fresh daily from scratch. We're talking dough and yeast here.

 

 

The crew in the galley were all smiles and thrilled to see us "on their turf" for once. And overall, it was an informative and interesting tour which is recommended to anyone with a fascination with cooking or the behind the scenes working of a cruise ship.

 

One of the real sneak peaks that wasn't a formal part of the tour, was the chance to glimpse at the various signs and internal memoranda that pepper the galley walls... mostly about food safety and crew assignments, but also photos of the night's foods as well as what crew members had shore leave etc. Interestingly enough, no "Don't serve or take checks from this customer" notifications, but it was that kind of intimate view.

 

 

Next time, Bridge Tour and Cozumel.

 

 

Edited April 23, 2014 by WinksCruises

[Poorplaya]

Oh ya I'm still reading this review, the commentary is far too hilarious to pass up, thanks for posting everything.

[Arabd]

I'm still reading too. Love the humour - keep it coming

[WinksCruises]

 

If you're the kind of person who "opts out" of the full-body "Backscatter" X-ray imaging tube during airport security proceedings and instead adventurously chooses to "opt in" for a manual pat down by an over enthusiastic and morbidly obese TSA agent, boy, are you going to love passing security muster before taking the bridge tour on Freedom. Let's just say if security teams implemented this kind of no-stone-left-uncovered screening procedure at the port on embarkation day, believe you me, there'd be no more problems with passengers smuggling liquor on board. RCI's contraband troubles would be eliminated overnight!

 

So yes, as the printed invitation above indicates, we all gathered together at the Deck 10 forward elevators - where we were electronically swiped and then physically frisked by two security guards (one male for the guys and one female for the gals), made to sign a background check form, and then had to swear on Davy Jones' Locker not to take any video (photos were okay) before we were allowed access to what ends up being a highly automated ship's bridge.

 

 

After being escorted down the fore-most hallway of passenger staterooms on Deck 10, we reached a locked, re-enforced steel door covered with an abundance of Turn Back Now warning stickers (as well as a single Village People / In the Navy one). This door opened onto a short hallway of similar looking staterooms - except they were reserved for the ship's officers, as evidenced by their nameplates. It was interesting to see that officers had accommodations very much like those of us passengers, but because we couldn't peak inside, there was no way to confirm whether they were standard ocean-views, balconies or mini-suites. (But with an absence of an illuminated doorbells, it was immediately obvious to those of us in the know, they couldn't be full Suites, thank goodness). In the end, we ascertained they were ocean-views.

 

After skirting by the officers' dormitories, we passed through yet another locked steel door, which, oddly enough, shuts OFF the light to the next space which happens to be a short stairwell up to the bridge. That was particularly hazardous, being thrust into darkness when facing steps going up, and I wondered if it was another in a series of security measures to thwart all those would be cruise-ship terrorists, or even just disgruntled Emerald level members ('cause let's all face it, Emerald's the crappiest of all C&A levels to be stuck in), from seizing control of the ship.

 

So about an hour later, after you've successfully jumped through every security hoop and then some, you finally ascend to the ship's master control center... the bridge... which is an uncharacteristically large chunk of real estate - considering how little goes on there (it's mostly computer auto-pilot) and how persnickety cruise lines are about utilizing every inch for profit. Jeff Lewis could easily have squeezed a few extra oceanview cabins into all the space they're wasting here.

 

 

Now finally gathered (securely) on the bridge, one of the first officers, a personable young fellow from Scotland, gave us an excellent overview of the running of the ship. I've been on several bridge tours, what with all my Suite room statuses, and this was far and away the best one given. Peppered with fun insider stories like the Captain who forgot to fold-in the stabilizer "wings" when he pulled into port and did several million dollars in damage.

 

So what was the most asked question on bridge? "Where is the Captain?" of course...

 

 

Turns out the answer to that question, embarrassingly enough, is "With my wife, apparently!"

 

Next: What NOT to do in Cozumel...

 

[BillOh]

After skirting by the officers' dormitories, we passed through yet another locked steel door, which, oddly enough, shuts OFF the light to the next space which happens to be a short stairwell up to the bridge.

 

I'm guessing that is done to protect the night vision of the bridge crew.

[Canadian Tyler]

Really enjoying your review.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[DrD]

Hmm, nothing spoils a fancy invite more than a gross grammar error.

 

That tour looks great.

[WinksCruises]

Good catch! But knowing Bertie, he actually was being "grammatically" correct. For he, of all concierges, knows it's true ---> WE are the concierge! Welcome to the elite state of Diamond / Suite status. It's good to be king, Doc.

[WinksCruises]

So here's the deal. After three long weeks, one of the postcards I mailed from Grand Cayman FINALLY made it state-side. Wow, what a relief. You see, dealing with these third world postal systems is always such a crap shoot - you never know if the clerk throws your card into the International Mail bin or simply the dust bin at his feet - and since at this point I only cruise to send postcards (exclusively for the schadenfreude I delight in from showing my rat race entrenched colleagues just how pathetic it is that they're missing out on the good life afforded by Diamond level status when sailing on a Royal C ship) you always hate to think that your entire voyage has been sailed in vain simply because of substandard civil service.

 

The sad thing? Well, pictured below is the postcard I sent to most people from Grand Cayman - the one on your left. How horrific is that? The look on the tour guide's face is simply priceless. It just so perfectly captures the contempt he must feel a thousand times a day when Joe Blow from any state USA so gets his rocks off over the fact that he's petting (with assistance) a live sting ray... you know, the beast that felled Steve, the Crocodile Hunter, Irwin and left Bimbi fatherless... that's really only there for buffet meal of chum that the shore excursion people supply them on a daily basis if they only agree to show up and allow themselves to be fondled by the best of middle America.

 

So yeah, I'm exuberant to hear that at least one of these little postal gems has somehow made it safely across the Caribbean sea. It means my seven days on Freedom (that at this point, both you and I have had to endure thanks to this topic post) has not totally been an exercise in futility.

 

Of course, none of the cards I posted from Jamaica have materialized at all. Big surprise that, given the density of the pot smoke cloud we took in while dropping cards off at the Falmouth post office. So, yes sadly, nobody's going to receive my not so subtle warning (the girl pictured below - on the right - who's clearly demonstrating her contempt of the attraction by mooning all of us) that a shore excursion to Dunn's River Falls eats donkey butt...

 

 

But I digress...

 

Next time, What NOT to do in Cozumel. Promise...

 

 

 

 

 

 

[scstatealumni11]

Loving the review going on this cruise again!

[BillOh]

Next time, What NOT to do in Cozumel. Promise...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Still waiting on what not to do in Cozumel as next year it will be my 4th time there. I can add that I wouldn't do the RCI excursion of Playa Mia as a beach day. Though they use to have a Mexican cooking class that finished with the beach day at Playa Mia. Those people loved that day. I will probably try Nachi Cocum as I've read several reviews. I sure hope you are not going to tell us about a bad Nachi experience.

[1northstar]

Left us all anticipating your next segment on " What Not To Do In Cozumel".

Just hoping you're finally done polishing your C&A pins so you can get back to writing what has been an entertaining read;)

[Tropicalgal2]

So here's the deal. After three long weeks, one of the postcards I mailed from Grand Cayman FINALLY made it state-side. Wow, what a relief. You see, dealing with these third world postal systems is always such a crap shoot - you never know if the clerk throws your card into the International Mail bin or simply the dust bin at his feet - and since at this point I only cruise to send postcards (exclusively for the schadenfreude I delight in from showing my rat race entrenched colleagues just how pathetic it is that they're missing out on the good life afforded by Diamond level status when sailing on a Royal C ship) you always hate to think that your entire voyage has been sailed in vain simply because of substandard civil service.

 

Of course, none of the cards I posted from Jamaica have materialized at all. Big surprise that, given the density of the pot smoke cloud we took in while dropping cards off at the Falmouth post office.

 

It can take up to six months or even more for mail to get for the Caribbean to America. There are other times when something will "hit it just right" and be there in two days? ? ? ? ? ? :rolleyes:

 

We send out letters before we leave for the states. Many times they get to our friends AFTER we have visited them! :( Some even get sent to Asia or Africa BEFORE the make it to the states! :eek:

 

Such is the mail service outside of America! ! ! ! :p

[cruiserdudebobby8]

Amazing Review!

[WinksCruises]

Sorry for the delay in posting an update.

 

For those of you on these message boards who feel guilty about abandoning your pets when you take a cruise, let me be the first to say, yes, blank happens. Since our return home, we've been taking care of a very sick kitty... something she apparently contracted near the tail end of our voyage. It's okay. She's doing much better, but after adding up the vet bills, I'm livid to report we may have to forgo the Owner's Suite next cruise and just settle for a Grand. (Thanks Obama Petcare!) When it comes to real life, there are just some things even Diamond status can't pull you out of. Sadly.

 

Anyway... since for some of you time is short... here's the Reader's Digest version of what happened during our stop in Cozumel:

 

 

The picture above pretty much sums up the whole experience. Disembark. Drink margaritas. Pass out.

 

Now... for those of you with a bit more disposable time, here are the sordid details of this horrid shore excursion.

 

Prior to our embarkation, my wife wasted an otherwise perfectly good evening at home perusing Royal C's hefty volume of shore excursion offerings. Swayed by her giddy enthusiasm (and my own state of inebriation) we apparently ended up booking ourselves onto the Salsa, Margaritas and more Salsa class. Much to my wife's glee...

 

Wow, what a mistake!

 

 

Yes, initially it all appears to be a beautiful scene. It's colorful and nice. You're on a patio overlooking the water and it's a hot and humid 80 degrees. Just remember, the local time in Cozumel is 8 in the morning and ship time is like 10am, and the first thing you do when you get to the hotel property that sponsors the event is start slamming down complimentary margaritas at their insistence.

 

You're seated at a table with strangers (even though they're from your cruise ship)... mostly women. There might have been 5 or 6 other guys there. That should have been my first indicator to run. Run away as fast as possible. But with my first morning margarita in hand, and a promise of tortilla chips to come, I did what every stupid American on holiday does and sucked down the drink and laughed with my table mates.

 

The painfully young event hosts introduced themselves (what are girls this young doing up this early in Cozumel?) and assured us we were in for the learning experience of a lifetime. We were going to make 2 thousand types of salsa, mix at least a dozen pitchers of potent margaritas, and then get up afterwards and learn how to dance.

 

Suddenly a climb up the ole Dunns River Falls didn't look so bad!

 

Here we are with our fellow victims - hoisting yet another shot of an endless margarita flavor variations... this one being strawberry, which was actually quite tasteful if I am remembering correctly (and trust me, I'm not).

 

 

Our table mates were actually fine people. I don't mean to riff on them. We actually ran into a pair of them several other times back on the ship and shared a few laughs (though less so after I learned they shared an Ocean View, partially obstructed).

 

And yes, the process of putting together your initial salsa combinations was "fun", I guess. But the forced social interplay the emcee's put you through (Whose birthday is it today, Where are you from, Who's been married the longest, yada yada yada) just became mind numbing. And you know it's really painful when the drinks you're knocking back at every turn are doing nothing to mollify the torturous ordeal.

 

So after our 847th salsa combination and umpteenth tequila mix, even the wife formerly known as gung ho and enthusiastic turned to me, with her dopey chef hat on, and said it was time to change scenery.

 

The change of scenery, thankfully, was only one flight of steps below the salsa prison we'd been condemned to. Here's a picture of it...

 

 

So while the mindless hosts were passing around a piggy bank in an effort to solicit funds for some Mexican charity (or perhaps simply their college funds), we tossed off our aprons and made a hasty exit while wantonly dismissing the desperate pleas from our fellow inmates to please, please take them with us.

 

Once downstairs, finally freed of our salsa shackles, we thoroughly enjoyed the beach front amenities the sponsoring hotel had to offer (and by enjoy, I mean, I passed out on one of the lawn chairs). An hour or so later, the class upstairs had completed their drunken initiation into the art of salsa dancing... and like the rest of us, were exhausted, drunk and wanting only to get back on board.

 

All this before noon.

 

 

Pay no attention to the promotional photograph above. This is my wife only pretending to have fun - but only for the benefit of her Facebook friends who'd she never want to admit life was anything less than beauteous for.

 

But take it from this old salt; if you're in Cozumel, I'd seriously recommend you pass on this shore excursion.

 

Next Up: A general wrap up of the cruise as Freedom heads back to Port Everglades - including the joys of Luggage Valet service.

 

 

[WinksCruises]

 

 

 

[kahcarre]

Very interested to know about your Luggage Valet experience - strongly considering it on our Freedom cruise in June. Great review - enjoying the commentary :D

[Jessicalice]

we almost did the salsa class since my DH enjoys cooking but we opted to go see the ruins instead.

[happymoes]

LOVING your review and sense of humor!!!:D

[WinksCruises]

we almost did the salsa class since my DH enjoys cooking but we opted to go see the ruins instead.

 

Meh, we did the ruins tour during a previous cruise stop, as well. That was no picnic either! Beautiful, but was it worth the lengthy bus ride?

 

I think the best excursion we've ever done in Cozumel (aside from just getting trashed in the local Senor Frogs... my favorite thing to do!) is a day at Xel-Ha Park. Just for the variety of activities.

Edited May 3, 2014 by WinksCruises

[WinksCruises]

 

Like many of you, regardless of our C&A status, we spent the last day at sea trying to occupy our final hours with activities that might stave off the depressing reality that our 7 days of play time were coming to a hasty end.

 

And as we all know, those efforts are all futile ones.

 

While my wife chose to eek out every last droplet of UV available up on the Suite Guest's easy bake oven deck, I retreated to the comfort of a dark man cave of sorts - the Arcadia Theater, where they were showing a matinee performance of the animated film Peabody & Sherman in 3D. Cute movie. And fun to see it for free, in 3D, - a current flick I'd probably not bothered to seek out at home.

 

We had a nice lunch in the main dining room. Checked out the food displays (and free samples) the chefs set up along the Promenade. Sort of a midnight buffet... but held at noon. And did some last minute shopping.

 

But inevitably, the time flew by and we were facing our last evening on board.

 

Up above, you can see my wife goofing off during our last night in the Concierge Lounge. On the left she's posing with our two so-excellent attendants who kept us plied with drinks, useful tips and good cheer. And then on the right, an ineffectual attempt by my wife to stow away on the ship by impersonating the Concierge. It failed miserably when she accidentally engaged in a conversation with a gold member guest...

 

 

So in review... the food on Freedom was pretty good overall. We had some trouble with the My Time Dining function... but not enough to send us back to the crap shoot that is traditional dining.

 

Suite guests should definitely take advantage of having breakfast in Portofino's. You can either grab your food from Windjammer and bring it in... or simply have the chef in Portofino's whip you up offerings from a limited, but it still covers all the basics, menu. So much more humane than dealing with the dog-eat-dog world out in 'Jammer... especially on a port day.

 

 

 

 

Edited May 3, 2014 by WinksCruises

[WinksCruises]

 

There are plenty of things to do both on and off the ship. My wife loves the morning workout that the sports deck on Freedom of the Seas affords her. She actually found running / walking the deck and doing various weigh resistance routines using ship parts much more enjoyable than working out in the fitness center. She enjoyed the one Zumba class they held on the basketball court.

 

In contrast, I found climbing the stairs up to the Diamond Lounge (just across from the Viking Lounge) and walking down the hall to the Concierge Lounge every evening just the right regiment for me! Off the ship, I got to indulge in my postcarding hobby in such exciting ports as Jamaica and Grand Cayman where cool selections abound (and I can now safely report that cards from both countries have made their way to recipients - only 20+ days later!)

 

That all said, for our next cruise, I'm going to make sure we spend an entire port day sequestered on the ship. I've got to see what that's like!

 

 

Our disembarkation went very well. We opted to use the luggage valet option (free of charge for Suite Guests!!). It's a scary prospect, no question. You place your bags outside your cabin door the evening before... and then don't see them again until you're standing (in my case, on my knees praying) in front of the baggage carousal at your final destination.

 

And there are rules... you have to be on an airline that's part of the program; ours, Jet Blue, was. The flight has to be in the afternoon (after 1 or 2, I'm sure it varies by port). And you have to have the guts to play a round of Russian roulette!

 

Did it work out for us? Yup. We walked off Freedom that morning with only our carry-on bags. Breezed through customs. Didn't have to play the "find your bag on the pier" game. Or tip any porters.

 

After our flight from Orlando, our bags were there at our flight's baggage claim in NYC with everyone else's. Gotta tell you, when this system works it's GREAT! Makes disembarkation so much easier. Even easier than self assist.

 

So that's about it... a great voyage. Royal is still a fine cruise line. Crews and service are top notch. Plenty to do and see.

 

Our only regret was not signing up for a future cruise on board, especially in light of Royal's month-long "Buy one - get one 1/2 off" promotion. We're thinking of doing Majesty of the Seas since it's her last year of sailing for Royal.

 

Anyway, we'll be back in November with a Princes cruise review (on their newest ship, Regal - oh and, ehem, from the Owner's Suite, plebes). Princess got us... by letting us apply our entire last cruise fare towards a credit off this future cruise. Now THAT was a promotion. True, they don't have a concierge lounge (that serves drinks anyway) but they do have the best pizza on the high seas.

 

We'll only be Platinum level there... but oh well... as you all know we all have to climb out of the muck from somewhere...

 

 

-END