familiarity with ship's crew

[tumeroll]

Ever since I have been reading the various posts on Cruise Critic, I have been struck by the number of passengers who seem to instantly bond with the service staff on board the ships.

 

I would like to know why people do this and do they do the same with the service people in their home town. IE. Do you know the name and family history of your mailman, the police force, all of your children's teachers, the bus or train driver ( after all they can hurt you a lot faster than the ship's captain if they do something wrong) and how about the four guys that once a week mow your lawn?

 

And do you know the names and family history of the folks crusing right next door to you or across the hall?

 

And when you are away from home do you correspond with the service people at home as you do with the ship crew when you are at home?

 

Coming from a rather stiff English/German background, I find the bonding with service people to be unique and I would like to learn more about why it seems so important to those passengersthat do it.

 

Thank you

[Shellie1964]

:) Hi Tumeroll

From a simplistic perspective it may be that people generally have more time to 'get to know' service staff on holiday. Holidays are in the main a time for high enjoyment and low misery. Service staff can contribute to the creation of a happy ambiance if they carry an air of good-will about them.

I think we have all experienced holidays that have been blighted by 'un-enthusiastic' staff.

I for one am very grateful for good personal service and a sunny disposition in a staff member; and in an attempt to show my appriciation (in a non-monetary fashion) extend my friendship and graditude in kind. For some this may mean showing an interest by asking questions about their home life. It can help to eradicate the posibility of the 'service staff' feeling overworked and underpaid and increase their job satisfaction. Thereby creating a cycle of positivity, appriciation and good-will. I don't know what others think?

Best Regards

Shellie

[cunardqueen]

I find that having cruised a number of times on QE2 the people you meet do all have a story to tell, and being the kind of ship she is, she does draw people from all walks of life and generally l find its very nice to meet all these people, the bonding with the staff l do think is quite natural you can be with them for a length of time, and i think its ony human nature to talk to them and express your thanks, and find out more about them, as they do of you!

Working in the hotel industry, when people cross your door, they are generally more relaxed and friendly, and if you take time to say hello to the guests and generally just do your job they will be nice back to you (granted it doesnt always work!!)

But l always go with the fact that "its nice to have nice people to look after" and in my book it does make a difference, and l do think in general if somebody is a nice person, you will be more focussed on your customer care and be more prepared to go the extra mile for them. l know l do.

So far out of all the cruises every one has been most enjoyable and superb people have become friends, some last and some dont, and fingers crossed so far have found all the staff to be superb !!!

cheers

[Coolgran]

What amazes me is the amount of staff who recognise one, even if they have not seen you for over 12 months. I have been lucky in that they have been delighted to see me again, hopefully because I was pleasant to them and interested in their life, I must admit that I have never got in touch once I have left the ship.

[pepperrn]

"Treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself".

 

This cuts both ways, passengers to crew, crew to passengers.

 

(unfortunately, I've seen many "grand" passengers treat staff as if they were something the passenger had stepped in. And I've seen staff, to whom everything is to much trouble, treat passengers with contempt.)

[travel-to-go]

I would like to know why people do this and do they do the same with the service people in their home town. IE. Do you know the name and family history of your mailman, the police force, all of your children's teachers, the bus or train driver ( after all they can hurt you a lot faster than the ship's captain if they do something wrong) and how about the four guys that once a week mow your lawn?

 

And do you know the names and family history of the folks crusing right next door to you or across the hall?

 

And when you are away from home do you correspond with the service people at home as you do with the ship crew when you are at home?

 

Coming from a rather stiff English/German background, I find the bonding with service people to be unique and I would like to learn more about why it seems so important to those passengersthat do it.

 

Thank you

 

Well, sure I do! There's my mailman, Kip. who sings and plays guitar every other week at a lovely country Inn (Golden Lamb Buttery) up in the Northeast corner of the state- I've been meaning for years to go see him play- They do a hayride (this is formal attire, mind you) and then there is only one sitting for dinner. They bring the veggies out family style. For fall Saturdays, you must get resrevations, likely in the spring! But if I miss Kip, whose route has been changed and I have a temp on my route (Yep- I know her too. She's a bit ditzy) I can go into the office and chat with the folks at the window who ask when my next cruise is and will I being going to Key West again this year. Of course, I've been known to call Jay, the retired postmaster, at home. And we are newbies in town. Only been here 19 years. Not native.

As for the bars and restaurants we go to, I get hugs and kisses from the owners. If I run into the new Italian restaurant in town and pick up takeout, the owner asks me where my boyfriend is, and will we be coming back for supper. If I call for takeout from the local Chinese place, Jimmy recognizes my voice and tells me he went to New York and brought me back some fresh white tuna for sushi!

I got a Christmas card from the family that owns the package store (father, three sons and daughter- all very knowledgeable, and no, they don't carry Lanson- I don't think it is imported to the US.) They will get me just about anything I ask for, and often recommend things they think I will like. They know my taste, and will tell me if Marc was in earlier. and no- WE aren't in there every other day! Oh, and we someteims meet in the grocery store and I recommend a good cut of meat for barbecuing, and we'll meet in the Irish pub in town and chat.

 

The dry cleaners also know who we are- And of course when our next cruise will be. And the guy we bought Marc's tuxes from remembers us from five or six years ago!

 

We run into the deli operator at the grocery at our favorite bar and share a drink with her. And the clerks from the pharmacy stop me in the grocery store to tell me that my special order prescription hasn't come in yet. My old grocery store, the butcher would always tell me of his daughter and his son and daughter in law and the new baby, and the sprinkler system his son-in-law was installing, and the old man out in his home town he was taking care of. My local cop (who also investigated the theft of my bras I mail-ordered for our January cruise...and caught the perpetrrator by setting up a sting in a few mailboxes around town while we were on our cruise, Got her to confess, and allow them to search her house... where they found my bras sitting on her couch!) teased me about how he just imagined these strapless cast-iron Madonna type bras hanging from my porch roof as a double hammock!<G> (I get no respect from my local police!) He still remembers his very first crime investgation at my house about 15 years ago A burglary. Told me who he is certain the perp was, but didn't have enough evidence to arrest him, but they got him on other stuff and put him away. But I was going to fix him up with a girlfriend when he got divorced a number of years back, depressed about being separated from his kids, got in a car accident, then finally met the love of his life, who got cancer, went into remission and they lived a couple of very happy years (She worked in the local bank) then it came back with a venegence. She is buried in the cemetary near my house. He loved her so much. Always kept fresh flowers on her grave. She was so young. Now he is seeing someone much younger, who looks like his ex (first) wife. I learned this from the waitress/bartender at our favorite bar/mexican restaurant whose parents used to own the restaurant across from her house. And she takes care of our cats sometimes when we are gone. And she also keeps me up on Rick Derringer's ex-wife,who moved back to town from California (Rick moved to Florida near my old town- He used to live here in Colchester and go to the same bar/restaurant as us. We've shaerd drinks also.) Oh, the chef and bus boy are from El Salvador and Columbia respectively One went back home recently to visit his brother. We always know who Danny, the chef is sweet on, and have been known to go to a different bar with them when they aren't working. And kept Ricky, one of the waiters out of trouble when his girlfriend was expecting their baby, due on St Paddy's day (She had it the next day) Tasos, the owner is in Greece right now visiting his Mother. The former owner- We went to a wedding shower, and then two baby showers for him and his new wife. I tookhis ex-girlfriend upstate to re-hab when she had probelms, and also brought money up to her for shopping while there at the residential facility.

What else would you like to know about the service people in my town? I can tell you plenty about many of them. Not to mention the first selctman who lives a mile or so from us, The cop from the big town, two towns up who happened to be friends with a friend of mine from Alabama that I met over the internet years ago-When he came to town, and couldn't find his friend unlisted phone number, he called me and I took him over to the house! And his pal lives bicycling distance from me. Oh yeah- We all met up at that same bar/restaurant..with Rick and Dyan Derringer and others.

So yep. You could say I get to know the families of my service people and their historeis and when they are going on vacation, and who's retiring who's been sick, who's going to Florida to visit his grandaughter, who's been sick, and whos has a new girlfriend.

 

Oh, and when we moved to Florida when I was 11? We invited the owner and another worker at our local (Binghamton,New York) Texaco station (Don Walker's Texaco, in case you ever get to Binghamton, though I think Don and Bud are both retired now!) to come stay at our house and go to the Daytona 500 with us. And I went to visit him in the gas station on my honeymoon .

 

Next question

 

Of yeah- Why? Because people are people the world over. Their stories and emotions and hopes and aspirations, and their love of their families and theiir homes are no different than mine. You see, I don't think of them as "Service people" I think of them just as People. With a capital P. I give them the same respect I would anyone else. I realize that you come from a different culture where customs are a bit more reserved, and one doesn't cross lines and become friendly those of another station. It might be a bit uncomfortable to both of you to step out of traditional roles. Then again, why not? You might find out something fascinating about someone who was previously just a carddboard cut-out to you. It is only when we begin to see each other as individuals that we can stop seeing our enemies (and strangers who are merely friends we don't know yet) as "Them" and start to think of everyone as (fascinating) individuals

I am not trying to criticize. Again, I realize my style is not for everyone, and not in all circumstnaces. I am merely saying, open yourself up to possibiilities, and you might be pleasantly surprised!

 

What was the song- U-2, I think at Christmas time a number of years ago, during the cold war? "Do you think the Russians love their Children too?

 

Yes. I do.

 

Karie,

who thinks most people are more alike than different, and we should embrace and revel in the differences also. What a boring world if we were all alike! I love to learn from others. It's like opening a book on to a brand new vista!

[Norfolk Brit]

Good heavens, Karie, do you mean you actually talk to the staff?

 

How big is your lawn, Tumeroll?

 

Regards, Mary

[lansonlady]

 

 

 

 

Of yeah- Why? Because people are people the world over. Their stories and emotions and hopes and aspirations, and their love of their families and theiir homes are no different than mine. You see, I don't think of them as "Service people" I think of them just as People. With a capital P. I give them the same respect I would anyone else.

 

Well said - Me too! - and yes I can tell you something about everyone who helps me in my day to day life from our postman, to my childrens teachers, sports coach, refuse collector, news agent, butcher, baker.......etc. And they know something about me too!

 

Holidays just provide a wonderfully relaxed opprtunity to meet a completely new set of peolpe! We make it a must to learn a few words of the language of the country we are visiting on holiday as we find if you can at least say please, thankyou and how are you (with a smile on your face) we make friends everywhere we go and for me one of the highlights of my holiday is meeting new people. Whether they are waiting on my dinner table or making my bed is irrelevent to me, they are at work, I am on holiday - so what?. Their stories are fascinating and we learn so much about different cultures.

 

The QM2 gave us a bit of a challenge as there are so many different nationalities both working and holidaying aboard her. But whether you are talking to your Romanian Waiter or Lithuanian Room Steward, or the the Nice Greek Man from the room next door, it certainly puts a smile on their face when you greet them in their own language. We feel we are very lucky as nearly everyone speaks a little English so its easy for us.

 

I have read posts from people on these boards that take very opposite views. Some have said they don't feel the need to ask their waiters about their personal lives, others have talked very affectionately about waiters, bar tenders etc giving little snap shots of their stories. Some posters seem to judge people by what they wear or the classification of their stateroom. Others just enjoy the diversity of people that a ship provides.

 

I came off the QM2 with two email addresses of staff. Both were graduates from different countries who were seeing some of the world before they settled down (- and how I wish I had done something similar before starting my career!) They were as interested in learning about our country/lives as we were about learning from them. I also came away with numerous addresses of passengers and with invitations to visit new friends from different parts the world. Experience tells me we won't keep intouch with all of them....... but will be friends for life with some!

 

lanson lady.

[travel-to-go]

Good heavens, Karie, do you mean you actually talk to the staff?

 

How big is your lawn, Tumeroll?

 

Regards, Mary

Didn't he say it takes three people to mow it? I live out in the wild woods, and have an acre and a half.

What the chickens don't scratch up, the goats eat! Just kidding! I have no goats or chickens! Just wild cats who live on my deck, raccoons (Mama just had babies) Possum (Also with babies,) and skunks- Last fall had babies) There's the occasional deer in the back yard. the immature hawk that cries from the treetops. The coyote that prowls. Oh, and my neighbor with the beaver pond leased his land to another neighbor who has installed goats, polled Herefords and sheep. I'm finally getting used to the kids bleating. They sound like human babies! Oh and behind me way back in the woods are guinea hens and roosters. Up the street are horses, ducks, chickens (free range) and geese. And 2 miles away are sweet guernsey cows. They have the sweetest cheese, made and aged on the premises.

 

Marc mows the lawn when he gets around to it, and we've let the back go back natural, trying to put back some of the habitat we "Stole" from its previous "owners" (the wildlife) when we built our house.

 

Mary- As for the staff- Don't tell anyone, but sometimes I not only speak to them. I do it in ~~~Jeans!~~~ SHHHH! I wouldn't want anyone to think less of me (than they already do! <LOL>!)

 

Lanson lady- Alas, you missed the part where I mentioned my packy owners have not been able to find Lanson for me. I also looked in NH this weekend and in Florida when I was down there. I don't think it is imported. I did find their web page.

I find St Hillaires -highly rated by Robert B Parker- the wine expert, not Robert A Parker my father (rest his soul) to be a marvelous inexpensive champagne. And for under ten dollars US!

 

And yes, I have kept in touch with people we have met on cruises, both staff and passengers. And we have gone out partying with staff and crew. (don't tell!) Hell, I have a girlfriend who married the maitre d'!

 

Karie,

Who is incorrigible when it comes to judging people! I mostly judge them interesting, and want to always learn more about everything.

 

BTW, I found out yesterday that Jean, Marc's dad's wife used to work for the United Nations! I knew I liked that lady!

[Dale]

Lanson lady- Alas, you missed the part where I mentioned my packy owners have not been able to find Lanson for me. I also looked in NH this weekend and in Florida when I was down there. I don't think it is imported. I did find their web page.

I find St Hillaires -highly rated by Robert B Parker- the wine expert, not Robert A Parker my father (rest his soul) to be a marvelous inexpensive champagne. And for under ten dollars US!

 

:D :D

Karie, treat's on me if you promise not to tell anyone. You and Marc are welcome to share a glass of “Two Buck Chuck” with us if we ever happen to sail together.

[travel-to-go]

:D :D

Karie, treat's on me if you promise not to tell anyone. You and Marc are welcome to share a glass of “Two Buck Chuck” with us if we ever happen to sail together.

 

Dale,

TNX.

Mum's the word!

 

Or is it Mumm's? <G>

 

Karie,

Who never met a free drink she didn't like! Even "Two-buck Chuck!"

[dougnewmanatsea]

I must be a snob - most of my "crew friends" are not "service people" but senior officers!

 

Does this make me a bad person ;) ?

[lansonlady]

Lanson lady- Alas, you missed the part where I mentioned my packy owners have not been able to find Lanson for me. I also looked in NH this weekend and in Florida when I was down there. I don't think it is imported. I did find their web page.

I find St Hillaires -highly rated by Robert B Parker- the wine expert, not Robert A Parker my father (rest his soul) to be a marvelous inexpensive champagne. And for under ten dollars US!

 

And yes, I have kept in touch with people we have met on cruises, both staff and passengers. And we have gone out partying with staff and crew. (don't tell!) Hell, I have a girlfriend who married the maitre d'!

 

 

Hello Karie,

 

Yes I have missed that part. But I promised to share a bottle wth you and I will - one day! I'll have a look for St Hilliares next time I'm out shopping. $10 is very cheap !!!! I doubt we will be able to buy it so cheap.

 

I'm off the champagne at the moment... and anything else thats full of calories for that matter........I'm afraid I'm paying for my recent sins with food consumption. I started my 'abstinence' on monday and its been 2 days of sheer hell!!!!!!! - I'm not sure I'll last the week out, particularly in the heat we are enjoying here in England at the moment. Food and wine seem to compliment sunny weather lazing in the garden perfectly don't you think:) ?The best I can do for wildlife is a pond full of koi, a hedgehog and a few doves. We did once wake up to a back garden full of cows when our neigbour forgot to close his farmyard gate securely. The lawn has never looked the same since!

 

 

Sorry to hear about your Dad.

 

Lanson lady - off to prepare a healthy breakfast...........boring!

[pnhmrk]

I must be a snob - most of my "crew friends" are not "service people" but senior officers!

 

Does this make me a bad person ;) ?

 

The only crew member we've kept in touch with is an officer (now an ex officer). So snob - possibly, bad person - NO!

[Mayor Kathie]

I agree with Host Doug our friends are officers,but we are friendly with all the staff,for goodness sake we are all human and need to be treated with some form of respect.If ,on very rare occaisions members of staff are rude ,then tell them!I have to put up with so much of that from people that do not have a clue of what I can do and cant do in my world ,that its easier to agree with them even if you dont!I try to get away from it all on my holidays.I have to say sometimes I succeed and sometimes I do not!I think I shall prepare another ocupation!!

Kathie x :) :)

[Anteeta]

Didn't he say it takes three people to mow it? I live out in the wild woods, and have an acre and a half.

What the chickens don't scratch up, the goats eat! Just kidding! I have no goats or chickens! Just wild cats who live on my deck, raccoons (Mama just had babies) Possum (Also with babies,) and skunks- Last fall had babies) There's the occasional deer in the back yard. the immature hawk that cries from the treetops. The coyote that prowls. Oh, and my neighbor with the beaver pond leased his land to another neighbor who has installed goats, polled Herefords and sheep. I'm finally getting used to the kids bleating. They sound like human babies! Oh and behind me way back in the woods are guinea hens and roosters. Up the street are horses, ducks, chickens (free range) and geese. And 2 miles away are sweet guernsey cows. They have the sweetest cheese, made and aged on the premises.

 

Marc mows the lawn when he gets around to it, and we've let the back go back natural, trying to put back some of the habitat we "Stole" from its previous "owners" (the wildlife) when we built our house.

 

Mary- As for the staff- Don't tell anyone, but sometimes I not only speak to them. I do it in ~~~Jeans!~~~ SHHHH! I wouldn't want anyone to think less of me (than they already do! <LOL>!)

 

Lanson lady- Alas, you missed the part where I mentioned my packy owners have not been able to find Lanson for me. I also looked in NH this weekend and in Florida when I was down there. I don't think it is imported. I did find their web page.

I find St Hillaires -highly rated by Robert B Parker- the wine expert, not Robert A Parker my father (rest his soul) to be a marvelous inexpensive champagne. And for under ten dollars US!

 

And yes, I have kept in touch with people we have met on cruises, both staff and passengers. And we have gone out partying with staff and crew. (don't tell!) Hell, I have a girlfriend who married the maitre d'!

 

Karie,

Who is incorrigible when it comes to judging people! I mostly judge them interesting, and want to always learn more about everything.

 

BTW, I found out yesterday that Jean, Marc's dad's wife used to work for the United Nations! I knew I liked that lady!

 

Karie, i don't really care what you post about; you're creating a picture of your life and times. If ever we're on the same cruise, I guarantee you and Marc and me and mine et al would have a ball.

 

And when your first book's published, please remember I want a signed first (preferably limited, leatherbound,boxed) edition. Which I'll treasure and delve into when days are particularly dark

[travel-to-go]

Karie, i don't really care what you post about; you're creating a picture of your life and times. If ever we're on the same cruise, I guarantee you and Marc and me and mine et al would have a ball.

 

And when your first book's published, please remember I want a signed first (preferably limited, leatherbound,boxed) edition. Which I'll treasure and delve into when days are particularly dark

 

It's a deal!

Oh, and please don't hold your breath while waiting. I'd hate for anything bad to happen to such a lovely person! <LOL>

Did I mention I am president of the procrastinator's club?

...Or would be.

 

If I ever made it to a meeting! <LOL>

 

Karie,

Who is full of promise! Ask any of my elementary school teachers. Every report card said, "Karie has such promise......" and prompty trailed off!

[Job 534 Clydebank]

I was somewhat suprised by the responses on this thread, namely that no mention has been made about the fraternizing behind the scenes ("below decks") that was once a common pastime among passengers, but now has, for obvious reasons in this changing world, become a strict NO-NO.

At one time, an invitation to go down to the PIG 'N WHISTLE carried more prestige than a formal invitation to the Captain's quarters for cocktails.

I could go on and on about this, as many wild times were had. One treasured memory is that of crewmembers and passengers after a night of partying in Hong Kong, staggering back to the ship, HOLDING EACH OTHER UP, while walking in "imaginative" patterns down the darkened Hong Kong streets!.

HECK, there used to be a bar on12th Avenue in NY, across from Pier 88, where I used to hang out "between cruises" and socialize with crewmwmber friends between and beofore cruises on days when the ship was in port.

Anybody remember 2 DECK AFT on QE-2? now THAT was the happening place.

A kitchen worker told me back in 1989, that THIS was the place to come after dinner, that the passenger accomodations were really stuffy and dull.

One should also say that QE-2 was ESPECIALLY accomodating to the needs of passengers traveling singly, and providing an atmosphere conducive to ongoing passenger-crew friendships was one of the ways they met this need.

QE-2 still is a friendly and intimate ship, but in these changing times, the barrier between passenger decks and "below decks" has become one to religiously observe and respect. The days of going down to THE PIG are long gone.

[pnhmrk]

QE-2 was ESPECIALLY accommodating to the needs of passengers travelling singly

 

Yes, she was (smiles wistfully). It's 11 years since I was last a single passenger - I didn't know it had changed.

[Job 534 Clydebank]

I'm sorry PNHMRK:

I guess I misused the word "was" (in terms of being "single friendly).

QE-2 still is, as she was, a very nice ship on which the solo traveler can travel, feeling like a whole person, not a social amputee.

I guess I used the word "was" because owing to QE-2's revised europeon iteneraries, she's not as accesible to me as she once was.

On the flip side, it looks like I won't be travelling solo in the forseeable future, as I'm getting married in October. Earlier this month, I introduced my fiancee to shipboard life by taking her on a transatlantic crossing on QM-2.

It appears that she's now a borderline Cunardophile, so we probably haven't seen the last of QM-2 or hopefully QE-2 either.

[pnhmrk]

I'm sorry PNHMRK:

I guess I misused the word "was" (in terms of being "single friendly).

 

I think that the misunderstanding was in the term "single friendly":o I'd given it a rather more "intimate" meaning! The QE2 is still an ideal ship for the single passenger.

 

It looks like I won't be travelling solo in the foreseeable future, as I'm getting married in October.

 

What date in October? Our Civil Partnership's on the 21st - and guess where we're honeymooning!

[Job 534 Clydebank]

We're walking down the aisle on 14 October.

Where are you spending your honeymoon?

My guess (an hope) is taht you'll be aboard QE-2 or QM-2.

Isn't October the time when the MARY will be chartered for the Friends of Dorothy?

I envy you living in England, that's where the lion's share of the Cunard action is these days. For almost anything QE-2 related, a return trip via air is required for us (Americans) to participate.

[pnhmrk]

We're walking down the aisle on 14 October.[\quote]

 

It's the 21st for us - the Saturday afterwards.

 

My guess is that you'll be aboard QE2.

 

Good guess - you're right. The reason we set the ceremony at the end of October was to get the honeymoon package for our December trip!

 

Isn't October the time when the MARY will be chartered for the Friends of Dorothy?

 

It could be - I think that it's sometime between September '06 and May '07 but I don't know any closer. The idea of an all gay trip doesn't appeal to us and that it's only one way (we'd have to get back somehow and as smokers the idea of a non-smoking intercontinental flight isn't on) means we've not even looked at the possibility of going.

 

I envy you living in England, that's where the lion's share of the Cunard action is these days. For almost anything QE-2 related, a return trip via air is required for us (Americans) to participate.

 

Yes, QE2 is almost entirely European now. What would be even nicer for us would be if she'd start doing trips from places like Newcastle, Liverpool, Hull, etc. Those ports are much closer to home and would remove the long, expensive, journey to Southampton.