Sign for 18yr old to drink alchlol?

[CC Help Michell]

In international water on the NCL we are taking, they allow parents to sign a form saying your 18 yr old plus can drink wine or beer. My son is 19 and wants me to sign it. Just wanted to see how many parent out there do it. I dont want to send the ok message to my son that he can drink, but I want him to have fun?

 

I didn't read the two pages in between, and I didn't vote because my vote is... it depends on your son. I'm an older bird... back in my day (late 70's) I watched as for me drinking in the US started as legal (at 18), not legal (at 19), then legal again (at 20) as state laws changed. I got to view all of that against a background of my high school years spent in (then) West Germany -- I was a military brat, and at that time, as soon as you were tall enough for your money to hit the bar, you were old enough.

 

IF your son is a responsible type, and IF you set limits and times every day he MUST spend with you -- I can't see a lot of harm in that (and I'm no sexist -- I actually know who Gloria Steinem and Bella Abzug are/were, and I've been a Ms. since they introduced the term -- but I do think it matters that you have a boy, instead of a girl. These days there are so many new "substances" that can be slipped into drinks and such. :( I'm not sure I'd want a teen daughter of mine drinking soda pop onboard out of my sight, let alone alcohol!).

 

Consider (don't answer it here (he's not legal in the US these days!) whether you've exposed him to "responsible drinking" at home. If so, let this be a chance to see how he handles it sort of "on his own." If he doesn't handle it well, I'm sure that permission is revocable.... go cancel his "old" cruise card and get him a new one, without the privileges. Parenting is a process of letting go, one step at a time.... don't treat this issue any differently.

[peanutJMV]

I wouldnt sign it. The thrill of getting served will certainly make him feel special but order just one?, I wouldnt buy that for a minute, to easy for him to just sign his name and have that drink. Remember he is likely a good, and responsible young man but he is 19 y/o. He will be able to buy alcohol soon enough on his own. .

 

As sad as it is, to many people minors and adults, drink, gamble or both and decide to take a dive off the ship, I recall the young man who fell between the stairs and died during the summer, I feel for those family members....

I would bet a years salary that alcohol was involved....

 

If I signed for my son/daughter and something happened I would never forgive myself!

Buy him a a drink or two, that should be sufficient and you will sleep at night.

 

 

All the best whatever you choose to do. Have a good time.

 

 

 

 

Many good points. Just my son is 19 and our friends are bringing their 18yr old son. He said he just wants to be able to order one as he cannot do that in the states. He wants to feel like a man:D I said I would think about it. I dont know if my friend is going to let her son drink or ot yet.

[cruisendude2001]

Here is the perspective of someone who cruised as a teenager growing up. alot of the kids are so obsessed with the new found freedom of being able to drink. i remember being 18 and finding out i can drink beer and wine. i was never a drinker at home i had a few sips of my fathers beer or a sip or 2 of my mothers wine. seeing what it was like to walk up to the bar and order a beer was defenitly a manly experience it felt great. and i also learned moderation also because i saw the cost of it. and people treat u differently if your being adult. i say sign the paper give it a try and if he abuses it unsign it u can block it just as quick as you can approve it. everyone deserves a chance.

[beth4652]

Please let us know what you decide to do. Then, when you return, tell us how it worked for you.

[wilson9112]

Please let us know what you decide to do. Then, when you return, tell us how it worked for you.

 

yes, I will for sure. As of now, Im leaning towards letting him have a few. Im not stupid, I know what he can do behind my back. I would like to see what he does in front or me.......maybe a good test for me and him!!!!!:D

[wilson9112]

Here is the perspective of someone who cruised as a teenager growing up. alot of the kids are so obsessed with the new found freedom of being able to drink. i remember being 18 and finding out i can drink beer and wine. i was never a drinker at home i had a few sips of my fathers beer or a sip or 2 of my mothers wine. seeing what it was like to walk up to the bar and order a beer was defenitly a manly experience it felt great. and i also learned moderation also because i saw the cost of it. and people treat u differently if your being adult. i say sign the paper give it a try and if he abuses it unsign it u can block it just as quick as you can approve it. everyone deserves a chance.

 

Nice, I like that, thank you very much! Everyone does deserve a chance to prove themselves.:D

[cruisendude2001]

glad i could help p.s your son paid me to type all that. lol just kidding

[Sally Forth]

Wow it seem like alot of people seem to have forgotten that USA is one of the only country that you have to wait to drink till 21.

 

Guess what all my friends whos parents didn't allow them to drink, the first thing they do the moment they go to college is to get trashed and alot of them ended up dropping out.

 

quote]

 

Which is why the age was raised back to 21. When it was 18 sufficient young people were not responsible and created too many problems. Way back when dinasaurs roamed the earth and I was in college,the drinking and voting age was 21. Then in our infinite wisdom we lowered the voting age to 18. Thinking that if a person was old enough to vote they should be old enough to drink we lowered the drinking age to 18. Big mistake back up to 21 went the drinking age. Now if we can get the voting age back to 21 we will be on the way to returning the country to some level of sanity.

Argument doesn't fly. The dropout rate is no higher in Canada than in the US and legal age ranges from 18-19. That said, I don't want a bunch of 18 year olds drinking on a cruise ship.

 

Viv

[737NG]

Yes, let him drink...why do people always think the worse case scenario just because an 18 year old is going to have a few beers? So, someone falls off the ship here and there(very rare) and the entire population below the age of 21 can't touch a drink on the high seas? Sad..

[zman5]

Let the Young "ADULTS" have a few on the ship, they'll be getting served drinks at all the island stops anyways - no questions asked - guaranteed. Trust me theres a lot more trouble to be had off the boat

[beth4652]

The following is part of a "Parent Update" newsletter I just received from Georgia Tech, where my DS is a senior. I thought it rather timely.

Tech News

Are you sure your student isn't drinking?

Parents, you need to be talking with your students.

Drinking in middle school and high school is not a new phenomenon. Researchers have been reporting for several years that nine and ten year old children are developing alcohol dependency and that the easiest place for kids to find alcohol is the refrigerator in their own home (MADD). In 2005, the SAMHSA National Survey on Drug and Health reported that 10.8 million persons ages 12-20 (28.2% of this age group) reported drinking alcohol in the past month. Nearly 7.2 million (18.8%) were binge drinkers, and 2.3 million (6.0%) were heavy drinkers. Further, three out of every four students (75%) have consumed alcohol (more than just a few sips) by the end of high school. Not one of the millions of children surveyed was legally old enough to drink.

Recently the Georgia Tech Parents Program asked parents the question: "How often do you think your student drinks alcohol?" At the same time, all incoming freshmen were asked to complete Alcohol EDU an on-line survey that asks questions about their drinking habits and perceptions. After comparing the parents and students answers it is clear that too many parents are out of touch with their sons and daughters and the drinking culture that many students have been part of throughout high school.

The Parents Program survey in September’s ParentNews asked parents "How often do you think your student drinks alcohol?" This question garnered 410 responses with the following results:

How often do you think your student drinks alcohol?

Never 43% Once or twice per week 28% Once or twice per month 11% Two or three times per month 10% Unsure 8%

This issue becomes more alarming when we compare the responses from the parents group who have students in years 1-5 and responses from the students themselves.

1,196 incoming Georgia Tech Freshmen completed the Alcohol EDU on-line survey that asks questions about their drinking habits and perceptions. The results of a few of their responses are below:

To What Degree is it Acceptable to:

Drink underage 57.6% Drink every day but not get drunk 37.9% Get drunk on weekends 47.5% Play drinking games 52.8% Proportion of students that share your views 96.9%

Remember, the students had not yet arrived on campus to begin their freshmen year and were revealing attitudes, perceptions and decisions based upon their middle school and high school experiences.

When we think of the "right of passage," it is important to know that the college life you remember and believe you are passing down is very different than college life today. Nationally, increases in alcohol poisoning and the use of date rape drugs are becoming more wide spread each year. Discussing these issues with your student before coming to campus is critical to their overall success at Tech. Understanding how your student envisions college life and what they perceive the risks and benefits of alcohol use to be will help you to guide their decisions about their behavior when they leave home. Ongoing dialogs will be helpful to students as they confront temptations and risks experienced during their first time away from home and family.

We all want to think of our children as being happy, socially well adjusted people who contribute to society and most of our students will go on to do just that. As Tech parent's we also know our students are highly intelligent and superior achievers but often that work hard ethic translates into play hard behavior. It is up to all of us to work together to ensure a safe and productive environment for our students

[Cruise_Monkey]

In international water on the NCL we are taking, they allow parents to sign a form saying your 18 yr old plus can drink wine or beer. My son is 19 and wants me to sign it. Just wanted to see how many parent out there do it. I dont want to send the ok message to my son that he can drink, but I want him to have fun?

 

two questions; what's the legal drinking age where you live?

 

In my case, in NJ, it's 21. My son will be 18 next summer, so if we cruise I'll have to deal with this. My inclination is no, but I understand that it's largely dependent on the kid.

 

Secondly, be careful about sending the message, even indirectly, that you can't have fun without drinking......

 

In your case, since you state that you don't want to send the OK message to your son re: drinking, I think you already know what to do.

[mpk218]

Ummm, yes. Two daughters (ages 19 and 22) of a close friend are part of the "straight edge" movement, or so they claim loudly. My daughter has had to pick each of them up and take them home, so drunk they could barely walk, several times. Their parents still believe that they do not drink, nor do they have sex. I have seen them both do both, to excess! I have tried talking to the parents with and without the daughters and have lost these friends due to their denial and their daughters' lying. Needless to say, these girls are not allowed in my home anymore. But funny, their brother lives with us... and his parents think that HE is the bad one (I have seen him drink maybe a beer or two, have never seen him drunk in the 3 years he has lived here.) His best friend, who spends much time at my home, has had the same experiences with weekly binge drinking, with his parents in complete denial. Come to think of it, the WORST binge drinking teens that I know are the ones who's parents are the most strict and in denial about drinking... to this I SWEAR! BTW, I have allowed my daughters to share a glass of wine or a beer with us at home or on vacation since their mid-teens. I know they have had some "had more than I should have moments" but they have always known they can call us for a ride or help without us going nuts on them, unlike their friends. At any given time, we have at least 4 late teens/ early twenties living with us and at times have had up to 8. We have very frank, open discussions with them all, and I will say from experience that it is a VERY rare thing that a 19 year old has NOT been drunk at least once in his/her life. Two of the kids in my home were binge drinkers who no longer drink (true straight-edge) even though they are of age. Since so many kids in my home are of legal age, we all take responsibility for everyone who comes in.. Right down to taking keys from ANYONE with a drink in his/her hand (including my own elders). Young adults are going to do what they want when out of your sight, it's up to you to prepare them to be responsible about their actions, and how to handle the choices they will inevitably face. If you think they can't get hold of booze because they are underage, thats another denial.. My 20 year old's best friend has a more extensive liquor cabinet than we have.

 

As you can see, I feel VERY strongly about this subject. While its all anectdotal, I have seen strong evidence of what really goes on, despite what a parent believes. We are not the "cool parents".. We do not allow other people's children to have a beer or wine with us without their parent's permission. But we have been told that we are some of the few parents they can talk to honestly and openly, allowing us to give some important advice that many of these kids have never been offered. If you have a strong opposition to all alcohol, teach you children your values... but also prepare them for making their own decisions when they become adults... they need your guidance more than you may think.

 

Robin

 

 

Boy do I agree , I know some of these parents.. Its a shame thier kids will have to go out into the world blind .

[JenDalessan]

When I was a teen my mother made drinking a very taboo subject. She would be mortified if she knew how much I drank without her knowing. The thing that makes me cringe is remembering the horrible decisons and risks I took. For example, my friends and I would ride around in cars drinking.

 

I now have teens of my own. I have been very open with them about the topic. I also believe it is my job to teach them to drink responsibly and have gone to great lengths to be an example for them. They have been allowed a single glass of wine at holiday meals since they were in their mid teens. While on a cruise they are allowed a single drink here and there. They see me doing exactly the same thing. One drink, maybe two on a rare evening. I know that my older child (age 20) drinks with her friends at times and we have discussions about that. She is horrified by the thought of anyone drinking and driving.

 

The question I have always posed is "what good comes from excess drinking?" ....and some adults should focus on that question too. Seriously, some of the parents who think nothing of getting smashed and then preach to their teens that they should not...well come on now.

 

Just my two cents.

[Lachase]

Newbie drinker + festive climate + unfamiliar environment with ship railings over deep ocean water= potential disaster for kid who's still a teen. I have seen videos of supposed adults flinging overboard heaving while vomiting drunk. I was actually on a cruise although not the same ship when the teen from Ireland fell overboard over her railing being drunk and slipping. Being on a ship shouldn't be taken lightly safety wise and allowing your teen free alcohol access is a recipe for additional danger. He should be able to enjoy himself sans alcohol and will have respect for you for being firmly anchored in your values.

[CanadianTwosome]

There are so many generalized ideas here about teens drinking. How does being a certain age automatically make anyone an expert on how one will behave? The only people here that know the ADULT in question are his parents, and ultimately the decision will be theirs. I understand the OP asked for input, but to me, nobody else's opinions about 'teens' in general would have any impact on the decision I made for my own child.

 

To the OP: I think I posted this earlier, but I think it bears repeating - Only you know your child, none of us do. Make your decision based on him.

[bcs819]

NO...i would say NO to drugs of any kind for my child. Sassy

 

wow - no drugs of ANY kind. So you would refuse medical care? Just curious as these types of extreme statements always fascinate me. I myself cannot predict the future so I try not to entirely rule out anything...

 

Since only beer and wine are allowed with this permission slip, not hard alcohol, and recent studies show that wine can be heart-healthy, I don't think the issue is a health-related one, but more of a maturity/responsibility related one -

[sage139]

Here in OZ the drinking age is 18 but most kids binge drink from 15 or 16. No-one can convince me that the same thing does not happen in the US. If you think it doesn't you must be walking around with your eyes closed quite tightly.

We are definitely signing the form on our upcoming cruise for both our daughters. They know the rules we have and we doubt they will drink much. They prefer a cocktail before or after dinner. If they do choose to put too much on the bill (bar, internet or whatever else) they know that they will be made to pay for it. Simple as that.

The choice of beer or wine only is ridiculous! Why not spirits? You can get just as drunk on spirits as on beer and wine.

You have to let go of the apron strings sometime. Where better than on a ship - confined space, no cars and lots of people around to pull him in line if he starts to get tipsy.

Sign the form & let him have a drink!

[conch17]

We signed the form for our 18 year old son last year and had no problems. Its a matter of trust..I believed my son would act responsibly and he didnt let me down. NCL will only allow anyone under the age of 21 to purchase one drink at a time. I find it hard to believe that we in the USA are willing to send 18 year old men and women into a war torn country but wont allow them to have a beer!

[coka]

OP, It is a catch-22. You could not sign knowing where there is a will, there is a way. If he wants it bad enough, he will find a way to get it. You could say yes and sign knowing that everything might turn out okay...or not. With either decision, you still have to hope for the best that your son will make the right choices given his level of knowledge. Talk to your son more about it. Let him know your concerns. I agree with CanadianTwosome, you can read all the reasons for/against signing, but in the end, it is your decision. What will your regret more...signing...or not signing?

 

Coka