REVIEW: Wicked OLD witch CENTURY is NOT dead....

Just hold on to your ‘Ding, dong’ Dorothy and curb that little dog too – the wicked old witch Century is not dead yet. Century’s not even on ‘life support’ although every week about 2000 new mobile feeding tubes embark on her.

REVIEW of CENTURY, W.Carib. Jan 2, ’05, FLL-G Cayman-Cozumel-Key W.-FLL

DISCLOSURE STATEMENT

1. fifty-something couple on eighth Celebrity trip

2. third time on Century

3. recent trips on RCL Sovereign Seas, HAL Zaandam and Premiere’s BRB (R.I.P)

4. first Concierge class cabin

5. not a ‘former cruise employee’

6. no relatives, living or dead, legitimate or illegitimate, sane or insane, were former cruise employees

7. no friends, nor friends of friends, nor enemies, nor enemies of enemies, were former cruise employees

8. If you’re a devotee of Lesley Gore ( “It’s my CRUISE and I’ll cry if I want to”) then this review may not be for you.

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY

Overall experience was very good - vintage Celebrity.

In regards to its 9-yr age, the overall condition of the Century was better than most of its passengers. (Let the ‘flaming’ begin!)

Cabin service was efficient and unobtrusive.

Main DR dinner service was top notch.

Food - Main DR dinners – predominantly very good with at least 1 excellent choice each night.

Islands Breakfast, Lunch Buffet – good, but entrée sauces often too salty. Only non-dairy coffee creamer (not half/half) set out ( I almost lost my will to live).

Entertainment: What’s the nautical counterpart to “Curse of the Bambino”?

I hope my review complies with the “mini-skirt rule”: short enough to be interesting, long enough to cover what’s essential.

EMBARKATION

Twelve ships in Port Everglades on Sunday with Millennium at Pier 18, Century at Pier 29. Arrived at 11:30, 1-deep line at Concierge check-in, on board 15 mins. later. Regular check-in lines were 4-5 deep. “Nit-Pickers” check-in line had NO ONE waiting, since they feared having an effortless boarding experience. Celebrity, ever astute to customers’ needs, placed a deaf mute staffer at the Nit-Pickers check-in stand. A long line immediately formed and the Nit Pickers went away happily unhappy.

DINNER ENTREES

Excellent: Veal Piccata, Hake, Duck ala Orange, Rack of Lamb, Veal Cordon Bleu, Beef tenderloin brochettes w peppercorn sauce. Our waiter guided us to these better choices each night. Other standouts: roasted tomato bisque soup, Blue Mountain Cream coffeepot, crepe suzette, cherries jubilee. I polled some acquaintances on this trip and they also rated these items highly.

ACTIVITIES

We took no formal tours - in all three ports we just walked around the town areas to window shop, get exercise. G. Cayman and Cozumel were very crowded with pax from the several ships present. I met two ladies on the ship who had done over 100 cruises (60 on Princess). I immediately asked if they would adopt me, but they said there already was a long waiting list. They liked a few Princess ships AND Century the most. Of course these ladies were old, Century is ‘old’, so I immediately suspected another communist plot to resurrect Century’s image on the CC board. These ladies also rated food on Princess and Celebrity as very good – do these ladies have no shame?

CC BOARD “HOT BUTTON” ISSUES

WEAR/TEAR CONDITION OF CENTURY

Century looked like a well-maintained 9-yr-old ship. They were washing outside windows in the Hemisphere Lounge when we boarded but the windows in the Island Café remained salt-streaked during the cruise. Crewmen were sanding, revarnishing railings, doing touch-up painting around the ship routinely. Our cabin was clean but slightly faded in walkway. The Islands Café furniture and upholstery does seem rather tired and faded but did not seem any impediment to diners’ appetites. Did not notice ‘stains’ prevalent in public areas but I admit forgetting to pack my magnifying glass.

Can NOT confirm other reviewer’s report of ‘dust bunnies’ under bed, but only checked during daytime. Given their reputation for silent wily nocturnal behavior, they may have evaded detection. Then I realized that, until being educated about the rampant(?) dust-bunny infestation by the CC board, I had not checked for these vermin on my prior seven Celebrity cruises. I now commit, because there may have been dust bunnies I was unaware of on these past 7 cruises, that I will erase all fond memories of those cruises and will only speak favorably of Celebrity in the future AFTER the dust bunny inspection. Upon further reflection, I wondered if a CC poll was needed – such as voting if a) you check for dust bunnies under hotel beds, b) under beds in private homes you visit, c) under your own bed at home, d) just on cruise ships.

BUT SERIOUSLY – I may have been de-sensitized to dust bunnies under the bed by an actual incident here in Atlanta a few years ago. A motel visitor complained of an unpleasant odor in his room and was told it would be checked. The next day the odor remained and he complained further, and was told they would do extra cleaning. The third day he was irate about the odor condition. Finally, their room check discovered the guy had been sleeping for three nights above a murder victim whose body had been hidden in the box spring area. This will give you something else to check for under the bed.

Reports of rampant rust on Century also seem exaggerated, although there IS an urban(?) legend labeled the NEWTOnian phenomenon. On full moon nights, some mysterious inveterate prankster is furtively marking railings and deck fittings with a rust-colored magic marker for the purpose of fomenting controversy and strife on the CC boards.

COMPLIANCE WITH REQUESTED FORMAL ATTIRE – Grand Restaurant

For the benefit of this unending board controversy, I intended to provide a detailed audit of the percentage of tuxedos, suits among men and formal dress among the ladies. However, my apparel category measurements were irretrievably disrupted when – how could I be so unprepared? - the group of Elton John, Dame Edna, Liberace and Ru Paul walked in together. But rough estimates showed about 1/3 tuxedos, ½ suits and a small fraction of free spirits without even a tie. Having no tie looked pretty comfortable but again I suspected another communist plot to undermine all that is decent and holy about Celebrity formal night dining. I felt an urge welling up within me that when I disembarked I would find the tied-dyed VW bus of those free spirits and key it, but who would notice?

DISEMBARKATION

Had ‘cute’ light blue baggage tags for concierge class – we waited in Cinema and were guided down first after the ship was cleared at 8:30am. In the cab 15 mins later.

CONCIERGE CLASS – What’s it like?

AT LAST – my first complaint. I was looking forward to my ‘Concierge priority tender” treatment, anticipating a much more elegant tendering experience – no more ordinary “butt-cheek to butt-cheek” tendering for me! I looked forward to a sophisticated Concierge-class derriere-cheek-to-derriere-cheek tendering. What in fact happened was that we took our Concierge priority tender derrieres down to the regular butt-cheek assembly area in the theater and were just bumped ahead of all the regular butt-cheeks to the next tender. So, hopes shattered, ego deflated, my concierge class derriere ended up smooshed against the regular butt-cheeks on the tender. An obvious solution would be to rename concierge class to ‘derriere class’ to distinguish the sophisticates. In fact, a ‘derriere class’ passenger should be able to jump any waiting line on the ship by striding to the front, declaring, “I’m a derriere!”

GALLEY CLEANLINESS CONDITION

As CC-select ( matches by ‘derriere class’ status ) I went on the ‘behind-the-scenes’ galley tour. Nothing negative to report. Of course this may be the early result of the rumored new ‘trained guard rats’ program, which is a scaled-down version of the Navy’s trained porpoises program. Specially qualified rats graduating from maze classes in select eastern European countries are trained further in CDC standards to patrol the galley, night and day, to corral, capture and dispose of all potential violators. So that there is no unfortunate mistaken identity by the CDC, these trained rats will wear special mini-attire and teensy nameplates matching the other cruise staff. Suggested tips for these little rascals is 10 cents a day pp., 20 cents a day if Concierge/Suite. Please use only dime coins, as their tiny tip envelopes are the size of a postage stamp.

POST SCRIPT – “Go figure”:

Seems some pax gripes are ‘self-inflicted’ for not reading cruise catalog or cruise docs and/or their TA’s not being very informative. Overheard 3 coeds asking Guest Relations for different cabin - one with pull-down bunks – they found the standard inside cabin they booked too cramped. Another couple was surprised to learn from their waiter that wait staff’s income was tip-dependent. Heard another group by pool griping that there were no PA announcements during sailing about what sights, islands were within view. Another remarked of ‘nickle,diming’ of $20 each time for use of Thalassotherapy Pool, not aware of $60 price for unlimited use pass. Another couple arguing with restaurant staff that their TA had promised them a table for 2.

CONCLUSION: I MAY have taken some liberty at ‘nit pickers’ expense. This was intentional. However, I do not challenge the opinions of some who have had a more significant problem and published it on this board. My opinion is no more valid than theirs, IMHO.

You made my evening, I can't quit smiling. Thank you, I love it.

Marilyn

Greydog, I tip my hat to you! :rolleyes: Great reading!

Nanette

greydog,

AAAAAAAAAhhhhhhh!

A positive review.

You have really spoiled my day.

Nitpickers Anonymous.

Thanks for your entertaining review! Great read, and sounds like you made the most of your experience.

Thanks for that wonderful review:) ...definitely a "GREAT READ"!

Greydog, thanks so much for a great review! We are taking our 2nd cruise this April on the Century and very much looking forward to our trip. Your review just upped my anticipation about 10 notches!! :D

THANK YOU for the great, fun review. I LOVE IT!

Just spent a week in a timeshare where the dustbunnies didn't even hide under the bed, they were all around the edges of the rooms! You made me laugh, what a great start to my day. Can't wait to board the Century!

Thanks for the hilarious positive review.I can't wait till June 2.Third time on Century but first to Europe.Scandinavia here we come.

What a wonderful review. Thanks so much!

Toni

If your not writer, you should be. Very clever, informative, spirited review, even if at some folk's expense.

Thanks for the 'up to date' insight.

Regards

Greydog, a great review! Excellent humor and I especially liked your reference to Lesley Gore!!!

Greydog, that was awesome. I'm heading out on the Century this Saturday on our 3rd cruise, and I believe we will have like minds. Glad to hear a very positive review from a non-nitpicker. :)

Excellent! Even more excited to be sailing the Century this Saturday!

I think I have read most of the X reviews posted on this board, and your observation that "the overall condition of the Century was better than most of its passengers . . ." is IMHO the most memorable comment I have yet to see.

Can someone post Jack Williams' address, so we can start sending emails in support of the proposed renaming of Concierge Class? Now that the bread stick issue has been resolved, he probably has time on his hands . . .

Seriously, thanks for taking the time to give us a great (and very entertaining) review!

I was so looking forward to reading your review. It was great. You should be a professional cruise reviewer, a little humour goes a long way.

Glad to know u had a wonderful cruise.

Not once before have I read a review that has made me smile as often as this one :D . Thank you so much for writing it.

In fact, I think our hosts should save is as an example of the perfect review. Well within the “mini-skirt” rule: short enough to be interesting, long enough to cover what’s essential. Very much to the point. And entertaining!

I am looking forward to be on Century in the autumn.

I just LOVED your review.

I am sailing on Sat. Januay 29th and was getting so sick of reading all the negative reviews about the Century.

I love your light-hearted approach - it makes all the difference in the world!

Excellent review with a great sense of humor! Thank you.

Greydog,

Thanks for the laughs. A very well written post. We're looking forward to our Century cruise on 2/26. We'll keep an eye open for the dust bunnies.

Great Review. Very clever and funny. I am just waiting for sammiedawg to post on this thread " CDC REPORT!!, STAINED CARPETS!!!, BUGS BUGS BUG..CELEBRITY LOYALISTS!!!,OH WHAT I SAW ON MY TOILET!! WHAAA WHAAA WHAAA.

Keep it up Greydog..Thanks for the laugh!!

Jeff

I have to comment on this:

Overheard 3 coeds asking Guest Relations for different cabin - one with pull-down bunks – they found the standard inside cabin they booked too cramped.

I'm not surprised! A while back, Celebrity started putting rollaway beds in the standard cabins on the CENTURY-class vessels - meaning that if you're three people, by default, they'll book you in a standard double cabin, and add a rollaway. I don't know why they do this - not enough cabins with third and fourth berths on the CENTURY-class ships I guess - but at any rate they do. You can't even book three people into a bona fide triple/quad cabin on Celebrity's web site. I don't know what happens if you call up - but as we may soon be booking a Celebrity cruise (Baltic on CENTURY for this summer), I may find out. What I do know is that putting three people in a cabin built for two just isn't a good idea, and I wish Celebrity would stop doing it, for the sake of those who, unlike me, aren't compulsive deck-plan-studiers.

Terrific review, Greydog! The pictures it conjured up in my head had me laughing out loud! Now I'm looking even more forward to boarding Century this Saturday.

Loved the review! It made me even more excited to get back on her! Reading some of the other posts I was wondering how she could have gone down hill so fast. As others have said, you should be a writer

Susan

What a entertaining review. Glad you enjoyed the Century.

I sailed on her twice, I figured she was still sea worthy!

Rick.