Here they are, please abide by them!
You walk on the Promenade Deck in a counter-clockwise way unless you are from a country beginning with the letters A - C - M -P - O - T. Then you walk clockwise.
That is, until you get to lifeboat #7. At that point, until lifeboat #15, you must go at a fast trot or run.
When you get to the pointy end of the ship, you must shield your eyes from the other passengers until you get to the other side.
On the other side, when you get to lifeboat #4, you must stop and do seven pushups.
The position between lifeboats #8 and #16 is where you may smoke your cigars. If you are a woman and do not smoke cigars, you must be holding the hand of the fellow who is smoking.
When you get to the round end of the ship, you must have your hands in the air shouting "I Made It" until you get to the other side. That is where you reverse yourself and go the other way.
You never walk more then six people abreast.
If you are holding a drink as you "exercise", you must offer a sip to anyone in a lounge chair who wants it.
If you see anyone wearing blue and green colors together, you must "trip" and spill your drink on them. (If this causes a fight, you yell something real bad at them and then hightail it out of there.)
Should you encounter anyone coming from the opposite direction (see country letters above), put your hands on your chest with your elbows out saying "I paid for this cruise, get out of my way".
When you get to any of the above designated numbered lifeboats and it is in the water (for a crew drill or tendering etc.), you must stop at that location and wait till that lifeboat is back in its davits. You may not continue past that lifeboat location unless you have a signed letter from the front desk.
On Mondays, you must be on the Promenade Deck in formal attire, or at least Resort Casual. No shorts or swimsuits, or jeans, or tee shirts, or...
Hope this helps.
P.S. #1 - if you see a lounge chair with no one in it except for a book "reserving" the place, stop and tear out the last page of the book, then carefully put it back.
P.S. #2 - should you encounter a ship's officer on the Promenade Deck, ask him with a serious face if you can fish off the back of the ship.
PLEASE, before anyone trys to flame me for these "rules", this was just for fun, nothing else. However, you can print this out and leave this paragraph off if you want.