Formal Nights - Are they suitable for Well Behaived Children?

We are an English Family and have booked our first cruise on the Navigator of the Seas.

After reading many threads on Formal Nights both my husband and I are looking forward to dressing up for dinner. Even though it means dragging a tux and a couple of cocktail dresses across the Atlantic by plane.

We would like our children to join us for at least one of the formal nights, they are aged 11 and 6 and even if I say so myself, are very well behaived. Does anybody else take their children to the formal nights or do you feed them earlier and let them spend the evening in kids club.

Jo.T:)

Take the kids. They are more than welcome and it's great to be together as a family.

We did the Explorer last August with my 10YODS and 8YODD. Both loved dressing up. I did have my son in a dark suit with a tie. He wore same suit, but different shirt and tie for the second formal night. Daughter was easy as she loves "girly-girl" dresses.

Since they were more interested in the Kids Club, as soon as they were done with dinner and dessert, we allowed them to go together to the cabin to change and go to the Kids Club. This allowed us to finish our coffee and after dinner drink. We then went up and made sure they were in the Kids Club.

Enjoy!

Leigh

We always take our kids to formal night. Our youngest was 9 at the time of our first cruise. They LOVE getting to dress up. The boys wear a suit when they reach high school age, otherwise dress pants and a shirt/tie, and our daughter wears a fancy dress. She is so excited each year to buy the perfect dresses just for formal nights. Many kids are in the dining room. I highly recommend that you take them with you. Have fun!

More often than not, I've seen many well behaved children at dinner, formal or not. They look so cute all dressed up! If you've been reading the board, then I'm sure you're aware of the objections many people have to taking children to dinner in the dining room. If you are the type of parents who will not allow your children to become disruptive, then you should have no problem. :)

Definitely bring the kids.I have been bringing my daughter since she was very little.She loves dressing up.Make sure to get some pictures taken together that night too and have a great time!!!!

I am not a child lover, but I love seeing the young ones all dressed up on formal night. Great for family picture taking too.

Take them! They will love it. We took our three kids 9, 7 and 5 and they enjoyed dressing up. I even bought a little tux for my son off of Ebay. He was so cute. Of course the girls loved getting dressed up! Have fun and enjoy.

For us, well behaved children are always welcome. For those who are not, simply look to the behavior of the parents, and I'm sure you'll see the similarities.

The little ones look adorable, and they make for great photo memories for the family.

Steve

We were just on the Navigator 1/15/05 and had six children in our party, ages 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, and 15. They all enjoyed both formal nights in the dining room, and then joined the Adventure Ocean programs later in the evening. My five kids all enjoy dressing up, and my sons (6, 15) both wore dark suits. But my nephew (8) really got into it! He wore a white tuxedo with tails and also had a top hat and a cane! What a sight! He wore it both formal nights. We had the main seating so that still left plenty of time after dinner for activities. The kids changed after dinner, but the adults continued the evening in our formal clothes. Our kids have cruised three times now, and they love formal night; they have never asked to have dinner in Adventure Ocean. The dining room staff always seems to enjoy our children, maybe because so many of them are separated from their own kids. Our last waiter proudly brought pictures of his son to show us because his son (also 6) was so much bigger than our son.

I too love seeing well-behaved children. I retired last year after teaching for 33 years(at all levels). On our Jan. 2 Radiance cruise this year, I saw many well-behaved children at the 2nd formal seating. However, one table nearly ruined it for everyone - 6 or 7 young children (under 10) were at this table and spent most of the time at each dinner running around the table, running down the aisles, and standing up in their chairs. Oh, my gosh!

Luckily, my back was to the table so I could ignore them much of the time, but the "teacher in me" wanted to say something - I'm sure you parents of well-behaved children would have wanted to discipline them, too.

I'm the grandmother of the sweetest 18-month old baby ever (of course), but the last time we went out to eat (at a casual but expensive and crowded restaurant), she got very antsy before the meal. I insisted we take her out of the dining area to entertain her before the food came. No way were we going to bother the other diners...I can't imagine others not having the same consideration...

judy

We took my son on his first cruise at age 6 -- it was a 4 day and no formal night -- since then we have taken two 7 day cruises with two formal nights a piece -- his ages were 8 and 9 and he loves formal night! Two pairs of pants with two dress shirts and a tie that goes with both suffices and he wears the same pants with polo shirts for the dressy nights! Definately take them -- when seeing other children acting appropriately, most children follow suit!

As someone who loves children, but has none of my own, here are a few comments:

- Parents, please make sure that your well-behaved angels are well-behaved in someone else's mind as well as your own. Check with friends who know your children (especially friends who like children but don't have children) and ask them if they think you should bring your children to the formal dining night if they want to go. I've found several parents (including my brother) who have a very different view from my own on what is well behaved.

- Be prepared to make arrangements for those times when your children are not able to stay well-behaved. Be prepared that one of you (your spouse or yourself) may have to interrupt your dinner to take your children out of the dining room, either back to your cabin, or off to change attire and attend the AO programs if they can't stay well behaved. Just because you made the choice to bring them, if they are having a bad day, don't ruin the entire evening for everyone around you.

- Don't let your children leave the table. Many things are going on around the dining hall including many servers or staff moving around with large trays or objects that may decrease their field of view below waist level. I've seen many times where children (even well-behaved children walking normally) pass under the field of view and cause problems for staff who cannot always account for them. or at least instruct your children to avoid anyone carrying anything that limits their field of view.

- Don't let your children be out of your earshot and view unattended. You are responsible for the children and you should be able to see and hear your child at all times. If there is a problem (either your child or a fellow pax being rude) then you are responsible for intervening. I know that there are others who are naturally rude to children, but you should intervene on your child's behalf in that situation. Likewise you should be able to intervene and apologize when it is your child's fault. Just be responsible.

Always remember that children are children and you as the parent are responsible for what happens to and with your child. Keeping that in mind and everyone will enjoy the cruise and dinner.

We took our son, despite his objections to getting dressed up. Dinner made for a nice photo. As for "dragging" a tux, we usually rent ours onboard. In fact, you can go to the RCI and rent it there. It will be waiting in your closet on the first night of the cruise. Saves schlepping more clothing.

 

I'm the grandmother of the sweetest 18-month old baby ever (of course), but the last time we went out to eat (at a casual but expensive and crowded restaurant), she got very antsy before the meal.

judy

Our 21 month old grandson cruised with us this past January. He looked very handsom in his dark pants, shirt, vest and tie on formal night. As far as getting antsy--we would select what he would be having for dinner the night before - and while we were looking over the menu, our waiter would be serving our grandson his meal. We had an EXCELLENT waiter on the Explorer. ( Hank)

When our grandson was finished, he was content playing with his small cars or scribbling with crayons and paper. (It was family only at our table) On two ocassions my daughter left after finishing her meal to walk with him just outside the dinning room. When desert was served, they came back to enjoy! :)

It's always quite adorable to see children all dolled up for a formal dining room dinner with their families. It's also a very nice experience for them, so long as they know beforehand what kind of behavior is expected of them.

Have fun.

Jo.T - I agree with everything DC-Snoopy said, but I will give you this endorsement: I lived in London from ages 5 - 8, and I know that the English (at least in the late 1970s) had (and I'm sure still have) very high standards of behavior for children. When I look back at the standards of behavior that my parents required (which are mostly described by DC-Snoopy), I am amazed that American parents don't consider those standards "standard". Your mention that you are an English family leads me to believe that your asessment of your children as well behaved is spot on. Enjoy your cruise, and be prepared to be shocked (shocked!) at what's considered "good" behavior for American children.

yes,bring them. It is a great way for them to learn the basics of formal table settings, plates and silverware. Also, because they are well behaved they will most likely receive some attention from other adults about being little gentlemen or ladies and after 7 days they will get to like the attention. Give them a chance to order on their own too.

Your children will be fine. Our daughter is 9 now. On one of our cruises we had the pleasure of sitting with an English family. Our daughter was 6 at the time and the other families children were 16 and 18. My daughter received a taste of true manners...it was wonderful. My daughter is very well behaved but had not experienced a gentleman standing when a lady left the table...etc. She gladly emulated the 18 year old. To this day she politely waits until everyone is served etc. All and all a great experience.

These boards IMHO sometimes give the wrong impression. In 5 cruises I have never encountered ill mannered children, now adults is a whole nother story..

Jean

Definitely take them! If we never take our children to "adult events", how will they ever learn to behave as adults?

I have an 11 yr old and 15 yr old son. They are both excited about formal night. My 15 yr old thinks he looks cool in his suit. I think when they are dressed well - they are proud and behave accordingly.