Island to Alaska with Pictures

[Ex Bklyn Girl]

Hi Carl,

Just wanted to tell you that I found this thread yesterday by accident and have been reading it every chance I get. I've been glued (not literally) to my seat trying to finish all the pages and laughing out loud. You are very good medicine. It is by far the best thread I've ever read on the boards. Keep up the good work.

[tee_wrecks]

cworld,

 

Yup. We were southbound, so we stocked up on Diet Dr. Pepper in Skagway. I bought some DDP in Nova Scotia once -- it tasted different. Good enough to get my fix, but not "right".

 

We came from the metal mall thingy and that same convenience store loaded with a buncha bottles of Diet Dr. Pepper. I was Jonesing so bad for a DDP that I would gladly have murdered someone for one. Even found some Diet Vanilla Pepsi for the DW though I don't quite understand how she can drink that swill.:p

Loaded up again in Skagway and was able to finish my last bottle on the drive from Whittier to Anchorage where Diet Dr Pepper was easily acquired.

 

Note to Princess Cruises: I'm sure it's a contractual obligation but if you could manage to offer some Pepsi and Dr Pepper products on your cheesy soda cards your sales would skyrocket. Despite the claims made by Coke and Pepsi, everyone who is anyone knows Dr. Pepper is where it's at.

[laughing husky]

just wanted you to know that it was 82 in Anchorage yesterday. New record high temp....felt like 105...:) Keep up the good work.....and aabout our state capitol??????is it small?????well yes, but we the taxpayers arn't paying lots for that non existent swimming pool either....:) in fact we don't pay taxes much at all.....which is good.....(not to be paying taxes on swimming pools):)

[cworld]

Oh, yeah. Life is good again. The world has achieved balance, the sun is shining, the grass is grassing, the cattle are lowing, and I have Dr. Pepper. It just doesn’t get any better than this. And if that pesky suitcase is in our room life will be perfect. So, we got back on the ship, and went to find out.

 

Nope, no suitcase. It’s still early, so let’s give Dave a call and see what the story is.

 

Passenger Services, may I help you? (I swear this is the voice they use on the swanky elevators.)

 

Yes, can I speak to Dave the No Worries Guy?

 

Just a minute.

 

This is Dave the No Worries Guy

 

Hi, Dave, this is Mr. cworld from E632. Has our bag arrived yet?

 

Good morning, Mr. cworld, no,

 

(Excuse me for a small interruption here. I must explain that sometimes I have the innate ability to here what other people are thinking when they talk. (It’s call paranoia, silly) What I heard Dave say next was…)

 

(is your stupid bag in your silly little lower class cabin, you absolute idiot? Don’t you know that we would deliver the bag to your room as soon as we could so we could look like hero’s. Do you see the bag in you room? No, then we probably don’t have it yet, right. Why do you keep bothering me? Are you some kind of moron or something?)

 

Now that’s what I heard in my mind. What he actually said out loud was probably more like…

 

it hasn’t arrived from the airport yet. I’m glad you called, because I need to call my local guy and see if he’s picked it up.

 

So, Dave, the bag is in Juneau?

 

Yes, Mr. cworld the bag was at the airport this morning (how many more times is this fool going to call me). I’m hoping it will be delivered to us with the noon run stuff (so I don’t have to talk to your stupid mug again).

 

OK Dave, thanks.

 

Thank you Mr. cworld, (imbecile) and if there is anything else we can help you with (call 1-800-whocares) don't hesitate to call us.

 

OK, Dave, Thanks.

 

OK. No Worries.

 

Yeah, No Worries. This bag thing is still inhales with great force. We still don’t have our bag. I want my Dr. Pepper sweatshirt, my jeans, my OU sweatshirt, my jeans, my camera batteries are dying, I need some clean jeans, my OU jacket, my jeans… I just want my bag, and I’m not ever gonna see it again, am I? Huh, Mr. No stinkin’ worries! If you were here right now I’d give you a big piece of my mind. (Hey dummy, didn’t you just hang up the phone with him? Yeah, but I’m a lot meaner in person. No your not. You’re never mean to anybody. Yeah, but I’m about ready to start. Just drink your Dr. Pepper and hush.)

 

Since we didn’t have the bag, and seeing as there was not a lot of other stuff to do, I sat down and watched SportsCenter until lunchtime. May have been a little nap snuck in there too. I don’t quite remember.

 

We headed up to the pool area just about 11:00 to grab a bite. We were going to snarf down a little bit of food before the afternoon proceedings started. We both got a hamburger and hotdog. Same as the last time we ate here, nothing spectacular, good, not great. (Yeah, you didn’t leave a crumb on your plate. True, but I didn’t enjoy it.)

 

Finally the time had come. Time for the tour we had been waiting for for weeks. The Best of Juneau tour. Three, Three, Three tours in one.

 

Here’s what the Princess website says about our next adventure -

 

Best of Juneau

 

This excursion features three of Juneau's premier attractions: the Whale Watching & Wildlife Quest, the famous Mendenhall Glacier and the Original Alaska Salmon Bake.

 

Your adventure begins with a wildlife-viewing cruise aboard a waterjet-powered catamaran. Relax in the warm cabin, surrounded by large windows, as your experienced captain guides you through the island-studded waters of Stephens Passage. The onboard naturalist explains the behavior and habitat of wildlife you may encounter, including humpback and killer whales, Steller sea lions, Dall's porpoise, harbor seals, bald eagles and more. The operators of this tour guarantee you will see a whale. If not, receive a $100 cash refund ($50 refund per child) as you disembark the vessel.

 

Next, a narrated motorcoach ride takes you to view and photograph the world-famous Mendenhall Glacier. At the visitor center you have the opportunity to talk with Forest Service interpreters and — through interactive exhibits — learn about the awesome force of glacial ice. An outdoor feast completes your “Best of Juneau” experience. Enjoy wild Alaska salmon grilled over an alderwood fire, barbecued ribs and chicken, along with a variety of delicious side dishes. Roast marshmallows over a crackling fire, walk the trail to a waterfall and enjoy the beautiful, relaxed setting.

 

Visit http://www.princesswildlifetours.com for more details.

 

SPECIAL NOTES

Warm, layered clothing is recommended. Princess is authorized under special use permit to conduct tours in the Tongass National Forest. Tour order may vary. This tour is not available to Sapphire Princess passengers.

 

Sounds like fun. Another waterjet powered thing, a motorcoach ride, see a glacier, salmon over snakewood fire, and we are guaranteed to see a lumbering leviathan that… you know what I mean, or we get our money back. Could life possibly get any better? I think I’ve died and gone to heaven, or at least I would if I could get some CLEAN JEANS.

 

But that’s gonna have to wait until tomorrow. But if you read this tomorrow, does that mean you’ll have to wait until the next day? And what if today is really yesterday? Hmmm. If I keep this up, I’ll might never have to write again. Hmmm.

[cworld]

Hi Carl,

I found this thread yesterday by accident

 

Hope it didn't hurt too much. Sorry, really, welcome and thanks for the kind words. It really helps.

 

Tee

 

Gotta be cans of unleaded and bottles of leaded. But leaded is still the best.

[alwalaska]

Maybe - Island to Alaska - the saga continues ... PATIENCE!:p

[cworld]

just wanted you to know that it was 82 in Anchorage yesterday. New record high temp....felt like 105...:) Keep up the good work.....and aabout our state capitol??????is it small?????well yes, but we the taxpayers arn't paying lots for that non existent swimming pool either....:) in fact we don't pay taxes much at all.....which is good.....(not to be paying taxes on swimming pools):)

 

Glad I wasn't there, or maybe on second thought...

 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but in Texas they don't pay any taxes either. But then they have to live in Texas. I'm not sure that's a good trade off.

[Hate 2 W8t]

Hey Carl,

 

I've been dutifully reading along, waiting to snap up any morsels of advice I can find. I remember when you started writing this novel nearly three months ago (yes, that's right, nearly 3 months!). I remember thinking..."hmmm, this is good. maybe this guy can keep me entertained and educated while I wait for my end-of summer cruise to Alaska. hey, even if he keeps going for a few weeks, this will be good" Or something like that. :p I never imagined I would be putting the final touches on my plans while you were still writing about Juneau! :eek: I fly in 13 days, 12 hours (but who's counting?) and you are still going strong. (well, "going" anyway ;) ). Keep it up. At least I will have some catch up reading to do when I get back. And, who knows, maybe I can pick up when you leave off. DH has already asked what I will do with my life post-cruise. Of course, my answer was "plan the next one", but he thinks I will be following in your oh-so-big footsteps. I can only dream of such grandeur!

[ssapiers]

camperhawk,

 

Thanks for the encouragement. My family wonders at pretty much everything I do. And by the way Mrs. c is lucky to have me, seeing as how I’m practically perfect in every way.

 

 

Sounds like a country song!!!:rolleyes:

 

Bill

[cworld]

All together now

 

OH, Lord it's hard to be humble,

When your perfect in every way.

[HMcruiser]

Hey Carl,

 

I remember when you started writing this novel nearly three months ago (yes, that's right, nearly 3 months!). I remember thinking..."hmmm, this is good. maybe this guy can keep me entertained and educated while I wait for my end-of summer cruise to Alaska. hey, even if he keeps going for a few weeks, this will be good" Or something like that. :p I never imagined I would be putting the final touches on my plans while you were still writing about Juneau! :eek: I fly in 13 days, 12 hours (but who's counting?) and you are still going strong. (well, "going" anyway ;) ). Keep it up.

Carl,

 

Wow, I've been reading for 3 months!?! The funniest thing is I'm taking a Caribbean cruise in October and in a million years I would not have thought that I would be reading this up until then. Very entertaining though, Carl. I am really thinking about making our next cruise destination Alaska the more I read. Keep up the GREAT work!!

[cmash95]

ok carl am leaving on the 28th. that's lets see... 13 days from now? I hope we at least get through skagway before I go cause i won't be back for two weeks and afterthat will post a very short review of my alaskan cruise. we are doing a land tour as well. am really looking forward to this expedition

[zachnlucy]

ok carl am leaving on the 28th. that's lets see... 13 days from now? I hope we at least get through skagway before I go cause i won't be back for two weeks and afterthat will post a very short review of my alaskan cruise. we are doing a land tour as well. am really looking forward to this expedition

Hey, Chris, what ship? We're leaving on the 28th too, taking the Sun Princess on the 29th.

[cworld]

Wow. I have to say I’m a bit overwhelmed. So many nice comments, I really appreciate them. Hopefully the next 90 days will be as fun as the last 90 days. (I can’t believe I just said that. Ninety more days? War and Peace was probably written in less time. Sometimes I even have to tell myself… PATIENCE.)

 

Let’s see, if memory serves, (and if I look up a little on this page) we are preparing for the Best of Juneau tour. And we come to the main reason we spent the money to buy these fabulous Blue Jackets. Right there in the SPECIAL NOTES section of the information Princess gave out it says “Warm, layered clothing is recommended.” So now we have warm layered clothing.

 

Are we ready? Shirts, check…Sweatshirts, check… Jackets, check… Cameras… Nikon is working but battery is low, might as well leave camcorder here, battery dead, check… Tour tickets, check… Sunglasses, in the camera bag… Lip balm, sunscreen, and junk, check… room key, check… OK off we go. What? Oh, yeah, I probably better put some jeans on. Thanks dear.

 

We’re all dolled up and ready. Down to the embarkation area, and wait a minute. There are people everywhere. Bodies trying to come, bodies trying to go, bodies trying to help the bodies trying to come and the bodies trying to go. Then there are the security people that are just trying to get the coming and going bodies to move one way or the other. What a mess. I wonder if there could be a better way.

 

Pardon me while I fire off a serious note to Princess.

 

Note to Princess – You may have tried this before, and if so, please disregard this, but when we sailed on the Island Princess this May, I noticed that getting on and off the ship while it is in port is a pretty chaotic. With passengers both entering and leaving in the same area, things get confusing, passengers get jostled, and your great security personnel get overworked and all in all it doesn't work. It seemed to me that there might be a better way. My suggestion would be to have one of the gangways be for departing passengers, and one for arriving passengers. This should make the traffic flow smoother. It would be like a divided highway. You can move more cars, or people if everyone is flowing the same way. Again if you’ve already tried this and it didn’t work, my humble apologies for wasting your time.

 

Do you think anyone from Princess actually reads this? I wonder?

 

I can just imagine (I bet you can) some poor schlub in Carnival’s main office that has been assigned to monitor the Cruise Critic boards to gauge public reaction to their cruises.

 

(Can’t you just see me, sitting in my comfortable chair, at my spiffy semi-new, semi-old, but still functional 12” Apple 867Ghz laptop computer, while my chubby little fingers type dutifully away, and that little thought cloud hangs over my head pulsating lighter and darker, while I make up this poor imaginary schlub, who for no reason I care to divulge at this time we’ll call Jimmy with no last name, to stick in to this incredibly long trip report, for no reason that seems apparent other than I can, and in this very long run-on sentence, just to make it both the story and the sentence seem to go on for so long you can’t remember what we were talking about when this sentence started? Can’t you? I’ll just bet you can.)

 

(By the way, I hated English when I was in High School. I’m sure it shows.)

 

 

“Carnival Cruise lines this is Jimmy. OK.... Uhh... Yes… Uhhh... Hmmm... Yes sir.” (Click)

 

“What was that Jimmy?” Jan said.

 

“Oh, that was the boss, he wants me to go to this website where a bunch of let’s see if I can remember this,” Jimmy inflates his chest for his best bosslike impersonation “puffed up, overgrown, self important, whiney, little children write meaningless drivel about our magnificent ships.”

 

“Ha, Ha” Jan laughs. “If the boss thinks this site is so silly, why does he want you to look at it?”

 

“I dunno” Jimmy said. “Probably to satisfy that stupid Congressman that's always on our case. The boss wants a written report for each ship that tells him what these nuts are saying about us. Like he’d really care. He’ll probably just send it on to marketing, and they’ll doll it up and present the good stuff to the board in the next annual meeting.”

 

“When does he want it?” Jan asked.

 

“He said by Friday, I don’t think that will be a problem. How much can stuff could these idiots possibly write?” And with that Jimmy began “THE CLIMB”.

 

A couple of weeks later Jan ran in to Jimmy again.

 

“Hey, Jimmy. Congratulations.”

 

“Thanks, Jan. I couldn’t believe it.”

 

“How’d this come about?”

 

“Well, do you remember that call from the boss a couple of weeks ago about those nutcases? Well, I started prowling those boards, and came up with a few ideas that are going to save us a ton of money and help with some of the problems we discussed at last months big meeting.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Well, like… I can’t tell you, they haven’t been announced yet.”

 

“Oh, come on. You can tell me.”

 

“OK, but you have to promise me that you won’t tell a soul.”

 

“I promise.” (Finger crossed behind her back.)

 

“Well, there’s the new tea contract. We’ve contracted with Luzianne to upgrade our teas in all of our dining rooms throughout the fleet. One of the biggest complaints was the iced tea in our dining rooms.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah, and there’s the ‘gravy’ thing.”

 

“What gravy thing?”

 

“We advertise ‘Nebraska Prime Rib’ and we stick some kind of gelatin like gravy on top of it. I guess it’s pretty gross. Anyway, we’re doing away with the gravy on the ‘Nebraska Prime Rib’. We thought about changing the name to ‘Missouri Prime Rib’ and keeping the gravy, but that didn’t test out too well.”

 

“You’ve already field tested some of this stuff?”

 

“No, silly. We just brought in a couple of testing panels and ran it buy them.”

 

“Oh, any really big changes?”

 

“Only the gangway thing.”

 

“The gangway thing?”

 

“Yea, we’re going to change the embarkation procedures to make all of our gangways one way. That will let more traffic flow with fewer security people. That’s the main thing that got me the big promotion. Corporate thinks they’ll save $750,000.00 per year or so.”

 

“Cool.”

 

CARL, EARTH TO CARL.

 

Huh?

 

Stop it. Would you and get on with your report.

 

What?

 

Your trip report, remember?

 

Oh, yeah, the trip report, but what about Jimmy and Jan?

 

No one cares about Jimmy and Jan, they want to hear about Juneau, the whales, and things.

 

Oh, yeah, I remember now, Juneau. Right.

 

(Hey schlub at Carnival, take note. See what could happen to you.)

 

Whew, just think, you’ll never be able to recover the time you spent reading this. Sorry, but I’ll never be able to recover the 2 hours I spent writing this, either. Pity.

 

Goodnight. (Patience)

[camperhawk]

Thanks again Carl!! Just what I needed after a 12 hour shift that turned into 15! I think I know Jimmy, just wondering what he's doing there, cuz he just got a big promotion at my place;)

 

Keep it coming! (Patience)

[Joy2Day]

“We advertise ‘Nebraska Prime Rib’ and we stick some kind of gelatin like gravy on top of it. I guess it’s pretty gross. Anyway, we’re doing away with the gravy on the ‘Nebraska Prime Rib’. We thought about changing the name to ‘Missouri Prime Rib’ and keeping the gravy, but that didn’t test out too well.”

 

 

Oh cworld -- That hurt! Nebraska beef is good eatin', but Missouri beef ain't half bad. My dad raises some of that fine Missouri Angus beef.

 

We had Rick Stanley (Elvis's step-brother) preaching at church on Sunday. He says he had a spiritual experience eating a steak dinner in Omaha Saturday night.

[ssapiers]

Oh cworld -- That hurt! Nebraska beef is good eatin', but Missouri beef ain't half bad. My dad raises some of that fine Missouri Angus beef.

 

We had Rick Stanley (Elvis's step-brother) preaching at church on Sunday. He says he had a spiritual experience eating a steak dinner in Omaha Saturday night.

 

Did he see Elvis' picture in the steak or did he see elvis eating at the next table???:rolleyes:

 

Bill

[doven]

Carl, one thing for sure, you certainly have a talent for writing, creativity...not to mention your fun personality. Look at all the people you've drawn to your site. That is great. I wonder if you ever did any special fun writing when in high school or college - surely this talent is not only used on the critics choice board! It should not be wasted.

 

We went on the Coral in May to Alaska- such fun and a wonderful ship. Oh...and just FYI, I am a Texas neighbor- Longview to be exact where I grew up-but I'm near the Gulf now.

 

Keep up the good work...your wife has a talent too, by the way!

[cworld]

Thanks, mom.

 

Really Doven I haven't ever done much writing. This is a first. I'm not usually focused enough to keep up a project like this. But in the future??? Maybe you'll see Island to Alaska with Pictures the book in your local book store. Then again, that sounds like a lot of work.

 

PS. where on the coast? We lived in the Corpus Christi area for a while after we left Longview. Might have really been neighbors at one time.

 

Sorry Joy, had to pick on somebody. I need one of those "spiritual" experiences. Haven't had a steak like that for a while.

 

camperhawk, thanks, I think all of us know a Jimmy or 2. Who knows, he might just surface again.

 

And finally Alwalaska, Sorry I haven't gotten back to you yet Ann. I don't know if I could handle another thread. But, you never know, give me an idea that catches my eye, and I could be bribed (literally). But you might have to send money. Maybe we could call it "the best Princess Alaska Tour I Ever Never Completed on Earth". I don't know, it needs work. HELP.

[cworld]

Meanwhile, back at the ranch… or something like that. We disembarked the stunning Island Princess after making our way through the jumble that was the disembarkation area. Whew. What a mess. We walked down to the area where the Princess kids with the clipboards were loading up the tours. We went over to where our tour was boarding, and there it was, our narrated motorcoach.

 

Not knowing what a narrated motorcoach was we got on and I started exploring. Hmmm, no music. Hmmm, no talking. Hmmm, no motor noise. Hmmm. What’s a narrated motorcoach? I spent the next few minutes wondering. (Seeing me wonder is something to behold. When I wonder, all kinds of things happen. Light bulbs go on and off over my head. Sometimes you hear bells pealing. And sometimes when I finally figure something out, fireworks go off, and it’s quite a show. It’s really amazing. OK, I’m lying again, sue me.) After about 5 minutes, 10 seconds in real people time, I moved on to my next observation.

 

It’s hot in here. Hey, bus driver, is this here narrated motorcoach an air conditioned, narrated motorcoach? I know it’s only May, but it’s about 100 degrees in Juneau, Alaska today, and about 500 degrees in this bus. We’re cooking in here, how about a little help. No answer. It’s almost like she, the narrated motorcoach driver was a she, didn’t hear what we said. HEY, Lady, ITS HOT. Nothing.

 

We waited a few more minutes, Ms. narrated motorcoach driver kept getting on and off, on and off the narrated motorcoach, but she would never start the engine, or the air conditioning. I activated my handy dandy Go, Go Gadget thermometer, and it read 95 and climbing. Now before you think I’m exaggerating (again) and that I’m just a complainer, several people on the bus were grumping about the temperature. It was hot. Finally the last passengers showed up and Ms. narrated motorcoach driver got on the bus and…

 

I know it’s really short tonight, but I got involved with a project with my son. I promise to finish something tomorrow.

 

But until then Patience.

[tee_wrecks]

Did he see Elvis' picture in the steak or did he see elvis eating at the next table???:rolleyes:

 

Bill

 

Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh....Everyone knows Elvis ain't in Omaha....he's working at a Burger King in Minneapolis.

 

 

Also Bill

[tee_wrecks]

Tee

 

Gotta be cans of unleaded and bottles of leaded. But leaded is still the best.

 

C

 

If you can find the high test in glass bottles, I'd agree. Otherwise, it's unleaded hands down, in the 20 oz bottles.

[tee_wrecks]

All together now

 

OH, Lord it's hard to be humble,

When your perfect in every way.

 

 

I can't wait to look in the mirror

'Cause I get better lookin' each day

[tee_wrecks]

Out of some morbid sense of curiosity, I went back to the very first post to see how this all started. Quoting:

 

It was the best of times and the worst of times. On a dark and stormy night, my parents called me Ishmael.

 

Sheeeeesh, no wonder this thing reads like a Supreme Court opinion.

 

Seriously, Carl, I love stuff like this. Great writing and keep the good times rolling.

 

 

War Buffs!!!!

[cworld]

Out of some morbid sense of curiosity, I went back to the very first post to see how this all started. Quoting:

 

It was the best of times and the worst of times. On a dark and stormy night, my parents called me Ishmael.

 

Sheeeeesh, no wonder this thing reads like a Supreme Court opinion.

 

Seriously, Carl, I love stuff like this. Great writing and keep the good times rolling.

 

I'm not quite sure that's really the way this all started, but if you'll release the rights from it to me, (too late I've already copyrighted it) it may end up being the prologue to the book.