Babysitting for mentally handicapped?

[tigger296]

My husband and I will be cruising with two of our children in January on the Splendour of the Seas, RCCL. They are 11 and 25. My 25 year old is mentally handicapped but is fully functioning physically and is much better behaved than my other children.LOL He scores near normal socially, whatever that is:), when he has been tested. He doesn't have any major medical problems, can take care of all personal needs and is very well mannered. He just can't be left alone. He is very trusting and would leave with anyone, wouldn't know what to do if there were an emergency and get lost on the ship. I'm telling all of this because I need advice. My husband and I would like to spend some time just the two of us. Heck, I keep hearing how romantic a cruise is and thought I would put some of that moonlight to good use.;) Nick, my son, is too old for the children's program and RCCL told my TA that he didn't qualify for the babysitting service. That the caregiver would have to be a licensed professional, which they don't have. Any suggestions on who I can contact to have someone stay with him for a couple of hours? We wouldn't need anyone but one or two evening for an hour or two.

 

Thanks,

Ginger

[cjh]

How is the 11 year old with him? Maybe the 2 of them could go see a movie that night.

[serene56]

Maybe see the pursers office and request assistance. Or ask your cabin steward or waiter if someone onboard needs to make extra money.

[Catnip]

It sounds like from your post that RCCL has already said he doesn't qualify for the regular babysitting services and that they don't have anyone else that can do it. I doubt that once you are on-board that the Purser will be able to help out. Is it too late to invite someone to come along with you on the cruise to be with him a few nights?

[betsyrossapk]

I feel for your dilemma, because I have an adult autistic son, but I think the OP is correct. I know it may be expensive, but I think this would be a case where you should try & travel w/another family member that could try & give you some relief. I hope that you can get this resolved, but I agree it may not be best to wait until you get onboard to try & figure this out.

[kitty9]

As a former special education teacher, I can sympathize with your concerns, but I can also understand RCCI's position. You son is too old to qualify for babysitting and RCCI is concerned with liability issues for someone your son's age. I most certainly would not go behind RCCI's back and talk privately with any employee about sitting, because if a superior found out about this, knowing it's against company policy, you could get that crew member fired. Most crew members need extra money, but talking them into sitting with your son is not worth getting someone fired.

 

Can you bring another family member along to provide respite care? Who do you use at home as a support person? Can he/she go along with you?

[mo'vakayplz]

We face a similar situation, our youngest is mildly handicapped, we brought our 20 year old cousin & they actually shared a cabin. We did almost everything together, except for one or two nights when our cousin took over & my husband & I enjoyed an evening alone.

 

For peace of mind it is much better to just bring someone known to you, who you can trust, instead of taking a chance on the ship.

[tigger296]

Thanks for all the replies. Unfortunately, taking someone with us to spend time with Nick is really out of the question. It took me two years to save the money for the cruise and additional fare isn't in the budget. To answer Kitty9's question of who do I use at home as a support person, well there's me and then there's me.LOL I had to quit work when Nick graduated high school because of the lack of services in our area and no one else to help. Nick has always traveled with us and has never been a problem and isn't this time. It's just that I'd love to be able to spend a little quality time with my husband.

 

Thanks,

Ginger

[HappyStamper]

Ginger,

I realize that I am lucky that my daughter, at 13, is able to go to Adventure Ocean. And I have two adult children who are able and willing to spend time with their sister so that my husband and I can have couple time. The only solution I can think of for your situation that hasn't already been suggested would be to try to find another parent on your cruise willing to trade childcare time with you. Post your dilema in the roll call thread for your cruise (if you haven't already) and you might find a family willing to supervise your son for a couple of hours in exchange for you keeping an eye on their child so they could have a couple of hours to themselves. I would be more comfortable having another mom that I could chat with before hand watch my daughter than hiring a ship's employee out to make a few extra bucks, anyway! As for at home, if you don't have any family willing and able to help, does your community offer any adult day care or respite care? I have often felt like the parents of severely impared children think that we have it so easy. What they don't understand is that there are fewer services available for the mildly impared and the mental exhastion we parents suffer. I hope that you can find a solution so that this trip can truely be a vacation for you, not just a change of scenery!

[ColoradoLad]

Splendour of the Seas, RCCL.

 

Did you post on the ships "Roll Call", there is likely gonna be

some retired or otherwise available professions in such as special ed, therapists

like PT and OT's, medical.. with time.

 

Or anouple couple with a "special needs" kid who can swap some time with?

 

We are on another cruise but you may get lucky!

 

My experience on RCL has be good, always as to a like situation. Seems

every time for the lifeboat drill I find myself (wheelchair) my Physical Therapist wife being placed in a "special lightboat" area: so I get to meet every kid in a wheelchair that first day. It an entire world of our own at that level :) kinda of a "club" I guess

Must be the cruise I pick? Always very of the last two RCI and two others

I see older parents with a special needs adult child, then I notice as m

wife and I and all are friends are in the business?

[kitty9]

Ginger, believe me, I understand what you're going through. I had polio as a child and my mom was my only caregiver as dad had to work three jobs to pay the bills. I wore heavy casts on both legs after all of my 7 surgeries and then wore waist to floor braces on both legs. My mom had to carry me everywhere, as we didn't own a car and the walk to the bus line was 10 blocks. There wasn't anything like respite care in those days, so I know and understand your desire for some alone time. Some of the other posters here have given you some great suggestions and you can be assured there will be other parents on board with their special needs children. I especially like the suggestion of getting together with other parents and trading off time with them. That's a great idea. At least you might have a few hours to dine at the alternate restaurant with your husband.