Would you let your kids sail in their own cabin?

[misterjohnny]

Sorry to insult people with children. I do not have any kids, and am not planning on having any. And yes... I do stay away from places where multitudes of families flock. That is why we choose smaller ships (this time around) and try to avoid cruising during peak family travel times. I did not mean any insult. I was simply replying to the OP. In my opinion, if you vacation and don't want your children to be in the same cabin as you, you should vacation without them. Otherwise, vacation with them, but don't complain when you don't have any "ALONE" time.

 

Please don't flame me... I meant no harm....

 

I don't sleep in the same room with my kids at home, why should I do it on vacation? I have the means to afford a separate cabin for them. That way we are not cramped. When they go to bed at 9:00pm, I don't have to turn out the lights in my room. We have shared hotel rooms with our kids. I've hung out in the bathroom reading with my wife while the kids went to sleep in the bedroom because it was too early for us to go to sleep. I don't want to do that if I can avoid it.

 

When we are on vacation, we spend very little time in our room. It is there to shower, get dressed, and go to sleep. When the kids go to bed, we get to read or have some adult conversation if we are in the room next to them. That is valuable time too.

 

As for the person who was quoted who was hoping this person had no kids, I understand where that person is coming from. Mohakeena clearly does not appreciate them, and if he/she had them, I would be concerned for those children. Unfortunately, there are many people who have kids because they are "supposed to", yet do not appreciate them and it shows in their parenting. I respect people who understand that parenting is not right for them and choose to not become parents. I also feel sadness for those who would deeply love to be parents, but are unable. My sister in law is one of those, and they filled the hole in their hearts by adopting two boys from Russia and are very happy

[cruisead]

Sleeping in separate bedrooms at home is totally and completely different than putting very young children in a separate cabin alone. How would anyone know if someone came into that cabin and took a child? How would you know if your child opens the cabin door and walks away? Having the means to purchase two cabins has absolutely nothing to do with the issue at hand. While each parent has to decide what they want to do, then they also have to understand the consequences of their decisions. I would hate for a 5 year old to be abused by a stranger on a cruise ship just because parents want alone time or have the financial means to put their youngsters in a cabin totally alone. But it is an individual decision.

[California Native]

Mohakeena clearly does not appreciate them, and if he/she had them, I would be concerned for those children.

 

HOLY SHOOT...

I'm shocked that you could make such a strong a statement from what she said!

Let me say this....

I love children, wish I could have children. My DH and I would be far better parents than many we have witnessed 1st hand, especially on cruise ships.

Not every child or PARENT is a respectful traveler.

There are many parents that are able to tune out there kids or figure that they are on the ship somewhere ....they must be safe...

Well, I can't tune out another persons running screaming child...

and having them in seperate cabins is a recipe for disaster on many levels!

If this is a family vacation, that is what it is...

BE A FAMILY that is together

after all you are the LUCKY ones who are able have children

appreciate them, protect them and share with them all that

cruise travel has to offer.

If you need alone time why do they have be in a seperate cabin?

Why can't they be in the supervised kids program?

"Adult conversations" can take place morning, noon or night!

Safety...

As an adult I have the maturity to avoid uncomfortable situations with boys/men... a 14 year old girl doesn't have that..what she thought was an innocent game of monopoly in HER OWN CABIN can turn horrific.

and she can't be heard.

You could hear your daughter down the hall in your own home and CONTROL who was going into her bedroom as they would have to pass by an adult WHO WAS PRESENT.

Young kids can wander out of their cabin to come to your cabin...knock on the wrong door, get lost..etc etc.

There was a study a while back that showed young children who had been warned repeatedly not to touch guns by their parents, those parents had spoken with them extensively. The same parents felt very confident that their kids would NEVER do it.

A controlled enviroment was set up and behind a one way mirror 9 out of 10 parents watched their child touch the gun.

This study was also done with alcohol and cigarettes.

As good as your kids are, as good as you THINK they will be ..

you just don't know how they will act when you aren't around.

Is your family vacation where you want to find this out?

[beachchick]

Maybe I don't want to crusie with Disney, maybe I like to travel with my kids. I have two girls (13-14) and one son (7) and they have traveled the world with us and have learned a lot doing so. They are my family and shouldn't be left at home in the care of others. If you travel alone maybe you shouldn't have kids.......I could see a trip alone to a more adult oriented place (like Vegas) once and awhile. But if you can afford to travel with family why not? We have a ton planned this year, 2 weeks in Mexico in February, four cruises, and a trip to Vegas (can ya guess which one the kids won't be with us?):D

 

Comments like this are just insulting to everyone with a family. ITS A VACATION! That's why I take my kids, they are part of my life. Sorry yours aren't, if you even have any. I hope not. We take our kids to Disneyland lots. Its not quite the same experience.

 

So, do you stay away from places like Disneyland, theme parks, the beach, parades, the park, etc? I mean, those are family places and I wouldn't want "adults only" vacationers/visitors there. :rolleyes: See how silly it sounds when you reverse it?

 

A bit OT: I would like to know why it must be an extreme "either-or" situation? What exactly is so horrible about parents occassionally traveling on their own and leaving the kids with, for example, adoring grandparents or other relatives who love the time with them? How does it harm children to learn at an early age that most times are for the whole family, but that some times are just for the grownups (just as some things are just for the kids)? Parents are still adults, they are (usually) still a couple in need of nuturing their relationship apart from being "mommy and daddy."

 

My parents always took us on family trips every year. They also planned one trip just for them. We learned that we were not the center of the universe and that the world did not revolve solely around our wants and needs. We knew they loved us, but we knew they loved each other as a couple too. Plus, we had the added benefit of developing close and loving relationships with our grandparents, other relatives, and close family friends. That's time we all cherished, especially now that most of those family members are no longer with us. My DH and I did the same with our DD. We had many, many family trips and activities, as well as being together just day to day. We also planned one or two weekends plus one trip (no longer than 1 week) each year where our DD stayed with family or (as she got older) close family friends. Not only did she survive, but she grew from those experiences. Sometimes I see children who, at age 8 or 10, have extreme separation anxiety because their parents haven't helped them develop even the beginnings of self-reliance. That's a shame.

 

You know, it's really quite possible to adore your children, but not make them the center of every moment and every activity of your life. If you choose to do so, that's fine. However, it's extremely insulting to others to act as if those who don't parent in the exact same way you do are "wrong" or "shouldn't have kids" or other rude comments.

 

Yes, it's presumptuous to tell parents who want some private time to leave their children at home. If what parents (general, not directed at the OP or anyone specific) are looking for is a situation similar to what most of us have at home (one home; multiple bedrooms; safety with separate spaces), then the connecting cabins are an excellent idea. If what parents want is quite a lot of time away from the kids, then I agree that both the parents and the children might be better served by having the children stay with relatives or close family friends who love them (and who will probably spoil them like crazy), while the parents take time to recharge and nurish their relationship.

 

We would not book non-connecting cabins with children (that is teens) under 16 or so. Even then, it would depend on the teen. Our DD was level-headed and not prone to acting-out (except in the little battles we had over clothing, hair, makeup, and the usual stuff). She also knew what the penalties were if she messed up, and she knew we would follow through. We would have booked her at age 16 into a cabin across the hall, if we couldn't get connecting cabins. Because she was an only child, we often allowed her to bring a friend on trips. We knew and trusted most of her friends, but there were a couple who she was not allowed to invite along because we did not trust them well enough.

 

In any case, there really is no "one answer fits all" scenario to this and to state otherwise is insulting to those who don't raise their families or travel in exactly the same way someone else does.

 

beachchick

[DonnaK]

On RCCL, you can book your own children into a stateroom directly across the hall or next door to your own room. They've had this policy for a while.

 

True! My kids have been sailing in their own cabin across the hall from ours since they were 14 and 12 years old. We never had any issue, but then again, they tended to stick with us in the evenings, and went to bed at the same time as we did, so we'd just make sure they were locked in safely, and we set a "wake-up" time for the morning so we could all breakfast together. I have no concerns about them opening the door to strangers, or leaving the cabin on their own. (I know parents who put tape across the door jam so they would know if the door had been opened, and other parents who used baby monitors in the kids room, but we never had to do this).

[cutrat]

A bit OT: I would like to know why it must be an extreme "either-or" situation? What exactly is so horrible about parents occassionally traveling on their own and leaving the kids with, for example, adoring grandparents or other relatives who love the time with them? How does it harm children to learn at an early age that most times are for the whole family, but that some times are just for the grownups (just as some things are just for the kids)? Parents are still adults, they are (usually) still a couple in need of nuturing their relationship apart from being "mommy and daddy."

 

My parents always took us on family trips every year. They also planned one trip just for them. We learned that we were not the center of the universe and that the world did not revolve solely around our wants and needs. We knew they loved us, but we knew they loved each other as a couple too. Plus, we had the added benefit of developing close and loving relationships with our grandparents, other relatives, and close family friends. That's time we all cherished, especially now that most of those family members are no longer with us. My DH and I did the same with our DD. We had many, many family trips and activities, as well as being together just day to day. We also planned one or two weekends plus one trip (no longer than 1 week) each year where our DD stayed with family or (as she got older) close family friends. Not only did she survive, but she grew from those experiences. Sometimes I see children who, at age 8 or 10, have extreme separation anxiety because their parents haven't helped them develop even the beginnings of self-reliance. That's a shame.

 

You know, it's really quite possible to adore your children, but not make them the center of every moment and every activity of your life. If you choose to do so, that's fine. However, it's extremely insulting to others to act as if those who don't parent in the exact same way you do are "wrong" or "shouldn't have kids" or other rude comments.

 

Yes, it's presumptuous to tell parents who want some private time to leave their children at home. If what parents (general, not directed at the OP or anyone specific) are looking for is a situation similar to what most of us have at home (one home; multiple bedrooms; safety with separate spaces), then the connecting cabins are an excellent idea. If what parents want is quite a lot of time away from the kids, then I agree that both the parents and the children might be better served by having the children stay with relatives or close family friends who love them (and who will probably spoil them like crazy), while the parents take time to recharge and nurish their relationship.

 

We would not book non-connecting cabins with children (that is teens) under 16 or so. Even then, it would depend on the teen. Our DD was level-headed and not prone to acting-out (except in the little battles we had over clothing, hair, makeup, and the usual stuff). She also knew what the penalties were if she messed up, and she knew we would follow through. We would have booked her at age 16 into a cabin across the hall, if we couldn't get connecting cabins. Because she was an only child, we often allowed her to bring a friend on trips. We knew and trusted most of her friends, but there were a couple who she was not allowed to invite along because we did not trust them well enough.

 

In any case, there really is no "one answer fits all" scenario to this and to state otherwise is insulting to those who don't raise their families or travel in exactly the same way someone else does.

 

beachchick

 

I see and understand your point, my problem is with the way Mokaheena made her comment. It is very direct, if you have kids go Disney or go without them, plan and simple. Sure my kids love to spend time with grandparents and they do so often. If we want some alone time while onboard it's not like we'll talking about hour upon hours, maybe just dinner at Chops or Portifino but for someone to come out and say if you have kids you need to stay at Disney is a little harsh......

[BroncosFan2010]

I see and understand your point, my problem is with the way Mokaheena made her comment. It is very direct, if you have kids go Disney or go without them, plan and simple. Sure my kids love to spend time with grandparents and they do so often. If we want some alone time while onboard it's not like we'll talking about hour upon hours, maybe just dinner at Chops or Portifino but for someone to come out and say if you have kids you need to stay at Disney is a little harsh......

 

 

I meant if you want to take your kids on a cruise, try the Disney cruise line... Sheesh! Okay... after this I am not posting on this board anymore... But I want to leave you with this, on a VERY serious note......

 

I am a psychologist, and deal with people of all ages who have dealt with sexual abuse. I have had a client who is now in her 30's who went on vacation with her parents when she was 12. They had separate hotel rooms for her and her younger brother (he was 8 at the time). During the night, she was sexually assaulted by someone who worked at the hotel. She was right next door to her parents, and they never heard her cry. She is still dealing with this today. She cannot travel, cannot stay in hotel rooms, and lives a very secluded life. Her parents were well meaning. They believed that being right next door, nothing could happen, and their children would enjoy a vacation with their own space.

 

It does not matter how well meaning you may be, or how "mature" your children are. The fact is that this world is full of evil people who are opportunists and will take advantage of any situation.

 

With all the news stories about cruise lines trying to cover things up, I would never take a chance that something could happen at sea and there be no justice.

Children are valuable. They are precious and need to be protected. I say that full well that I don't have any. Therefore, I cannot imagine what I would feel like if I had children and they suffered because of a simple choice I made.

[cutrat]

I meant if you want to take your kids on a cruise, try the Disney cruise line... Sheesh! Okay... after this I am not posting on this board anymore... But I want to leave you with this, on a VERY serious note......

 

I am a psychologist, and deal with people of all ages who have dealt with sexual abuse. I have had a client who is now in her 30's who went on vacation with her parents when she was 12. They had separate hotel rooms for her and her younger brother (he was 8 at the time). During the night, she was sexually assaulted by someone who worked at the hotel. She was right next door to her parents, and they never heard her cry. She is still dealing with this today. She cannot travel, cannot stay in hotel rooms, and lives a very secluded life. Her parents were well meaning. They believed that being right next door, nothing could happen, and their children would enjoy a vacation with their own space.

 

It does not matter how well meaning you may be, or how "mature" your children are. The fact is that this world is full of evil people who are opportunists and will take advantage of any situation.

 

With all the news stories about cruise lines trying to cover things up, I would never take a chance that something could happen at sea and there be no justice.

Children are valuable. They are precious and need to be protected. I say that full well that I don't have any. Therefore, I cannot imagine what I would feel like if I had children and they suffered because of a simple choice I made.

 

 

Things like that can happen at any time and at any place. A crusie ship is no haven for sex offenders. Disney Cruise lines is no different. I recall they just had a employee arrested last summer after inappropriate touching. No place is 100% safe, you take the same risk leaving your kids at home while mom and dad go to dinner, if your kids walk home from school, or spend time at a park. I see and understand you point that children do need to be protected but that is no reason to lock them in a house only to come out when they can be watched 100% of the time. It's no reason to shelter kids, they need to be aware that the world is not always the best place and there are people that would/could hurt them, but it's still reason to shelter them. Education is a good place to start.......

 

Please don't quit posting just because we don't see eye to eye. Lifes to short, cheers!:D

[kitty9]

As I've said before, I see absolutely no problem with teens with their own cabin, for their sanity as well as the parents. But personally, I feel it's a huge mistake for parents who put their very young children alone in a cabin by themselves, UNLESS it's a connecting cabin with an inside door between the cabins. Anyone with a master key can enter a cabin, and when you realize there's no way to put the safety lock on a child's door because the parents need access to the cabin, anything can happen. I can just see the horrible happening if a young child wakes up in the middle of the night, walks out of the cabin and starts wandering the ship. How can any parent feel comfortable putting any child under age 10 alone in a cabin? Like someone said, you're not home and being on a ship is a very huge difference as you cannot control who enters your cabin, but you do have control if someone enters your home.

[beachchick]

Mokaheena: While I agree with you on many points, think your perspective is important, and hope parents carefully read your cautionary story, I would like to address this:

 

With all the news stories about cruise lines trying to cover things up, I would never take a chance that something could happen at sea and there be no justice.

Children are valuable. They are precious and need to be protected. I say that full well that I don't have any. Therefore, I cannot imagine what I would feel like if I had children and they suffered because of a simple choice I made.

 

How many are "all the news stories"? I seriously do not believe that cruise lines try to cover up, hide, or otherwise get out of their responsibilities. There may be times, true, but the fact is that every little story of "something happened on a cruise ship" is snapped up as fodder for so-called journalists looking for sensationalism. (You know, like the ongoing drama of Caylee Anthony. The story is treated as if she is/was the only missing child in the entire country, when the truth is that it's partly covered so much because it's a sensational story.) With the millions of people who cruise each year, I'd be shocked if nothing ever happened. OTOH, such things happen (as you point out) at hotels, stores, schools, and everywhere you can think of, even at home (which is a horrifying thought).

 

I need more proof than a general statement about "all" the "cover ups" because I simply don't see that.

 

beachchick

[Keith1010]

Just like adults no two children are created equally.

 

Our two children are four years apart in age. When our eldest was 17 and our youngest was 13 we let them share a cabin. But they were both very responsible and the cabin was right across the way from us. But if they were not responsible we would not have done this.

 

So like anything in life it depends on the circumstances and the maturity of those involved.

 

There is no blanket yes or no for this.

 

Keith