Traveling alone with son

[libertylover]

I was reading another post about having a letter from the father of a child and it got me thinking. If I'm divorced, with custody, do I need any documentation from my son's father in order to take him out of the country? The divorce decree does not state that I cannot take him out of the country without permission.

 

:confused:

[martinchem]

Shouldn't have a problem if he's your son.

[notentirelynormal]

Check out this thread. It shows why there MIGHT be a problem, including proving he IS your son. Just because its your son, doesn't mean you have permission from the other parent to take the child out of the country.

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=959290

[beachchick]

If you have full physical and legal custody, then all you need to do is bring a copy of the custody papers, just in case you're one of those the agents decide to ask for proof that the other parent is allowing you to take your child out of the country. If you do not have full physical and legal custody, then you will need to have his father sign (and have notarized) the standard letter allowing the trip. (There are several threads with links to a simple, legally acceptable letter.)

 

As far as the divorce and custody papers go, unless they specifically state that you are allowed to take your son out of the country, then the laws of the countries apply (US and Mexico are particularly strict on this). Just because the papers don't say you can't take him, doesn't mean that you can. If your ex is a PITA about it or you're unable to contact him or any other situation where you simply can't get the letter, then a quick court order by a judge granting permission is your best bet.

 

I'm sorry to say that advice telling you that it "shouldn't" be a problem because "he's your son" is not accurate. The whole reason these laws went into effect was because of parental abductions. I know, it's terrible to think about it and it makes things harder for good parents like you. It's true that you probably won't be required to show documentation allowing you to take your son out of the country, but you can be required to show it. It won't help you one bit if someone else has "never been asked for it, so don't bother" if you're the one in a hundred that is asked for it. If your custody is full both physically and legally, you're a step ahead of many parents because all you need is a copy of those papers.

 

beachchick

[libertylover]

Thanks everyone .... I actually read on the RCCL site that (if I understood it correctly) unless my son and I had two different last names then it will not be an issue. We have the same last name so I'm guessing it won't be an issue. I'm also thinking about printing that section off of the site and keeping it with my other papers as my "proof" that no special papers are needed.

 

:confused:

[6rugrats]

Shouldn't have a problem if he's your son.

 

I really hate incorrect and unhelpful answers like this. They are the main reason you should not rely on advice given on a chat board.

 

beachchick has given you a very good and correct answer.

[6rugrats]

Thanks everyone .... I actually read on the RCCL site that (if I understood it correctly) unless my son and I had two different last names then it will not be an issue. We have the same last name so I'm guessing it won't be an issue. I'm also thinking about printing that section off of the site and keeping it with my other papers as my "proof" that no special papers are needed.

 

:confused:

 

Not true. As already stated, unless you already have full physical and legal custody, and can bring your paperwork to prove this, you should have the notarized permission to travel letter. The cruiseline may not care, but if you are going to some countries, such as Mexico, they require this letter.

 

Don't ruin your cruise because you did not bring the correct paperwork.

[Kerry's Girls]

Thanks everyone .... I actually read on the RCCL site that (if I understood it correctly) unless my son and I had two different last names then it will not be an issue. We have the same last name so I'm guessing it won't be an issue. I'm also thinking about printing that section off of the site and keeping it with my other papers as my "proof" that no special papers are needed.

 

:confused:

 

As others have stated quite well, the cruise line is not your only (or biggest) concern. When I was questioned, it was by immigration - not the cruiseline (and I have the same last name as my children). You never know if the official who checks your documents is going to happen to be one who questions parents travelling alone with a child - and they're not going to take your word for it.

 

Best,

Mia

[Onessa]

If you are flying to/from your cruise and either of the port cities is in a foreign country, the airlines will probably request paperwork. Also if there is an emergency and you must book alternate transportation home, you will likely require it then.

 

My sister's last name differs from her son's. But her son's last name is the same as her husband's -- that always seems to cause their family a delay in check-in and/or immigration.

[JLK22]

I am also a single mom, new to cruiseing and leaving the country, who will be traveling alone with my son next month (woo hoo) and I have just looked into all of this....

 

I have also found what a majority of the previous posters are telling you...you should get a letter! I have found that airports and customs/immigaration (Mexico and USA particularly) require these letters, more so than the cruise lines actually ask for it. It does not matter if he is your son , whether you have same or different last names, you basically need proof that you are not trying to kidnap your child(lets face it, it happens.) You will read a number of posts that say they were never asked in Mexico for the letter but you will also find posts from parents who were not even allowed to board thier plane traveling within the US because they didnt have a letter. I am definitely a just in case person, the last thing I would want is to miss my vacation or have a major problem becasue I thought I might be able to slide by without the letter.

 

I happened to notice that you are sailing in August, after the new 6/09 passport rules go into effect. If your son does not already have a passport he will need one to leave the country on a cruise. Unless you have paperwork (divorce decree) that says you have sole custody or full physical and legal custody of your son (or proof of the father being deceased), you will have to have his father go with you to apply for the passport OR you will need a notarized letter from his father stating you have permission to get your son a passport and travel internationally with him.

 

I was fortunate that my ex was very cooperative about getting the letters I need but I know there are alot of people out there that do not have it so easy. :(:mad: I hope it all works out for you and at least you are looking into it now and have 4 months to get what you need in order to ensure you have a GREAT vacation with your son!

 

Happy Cruising!

[beachchick]

Thanks everyone .... I actually read on the RCCL site that (if I understood it correctly) unless my son and I had two different last names then it will not be an issue. We have the same last name so I'm guessing it won't be an issue. I'm also thinking about printing that section off of the site and keeping it with my other papers as my "proof" that no special papers are needed.

 

:confused:

 

The RCI site also says that passengers are responsible for making sure that they have every piece of documentation that may be required for their cruise. They also disavow any responsibility if you don't. What you're thinking of printing is proof of nothing more than what the website says. It will not help you at the port and it will absolutely not help you if you are asked for proof at any port or when returning to the US. (Yes, surprising, but re-entry to the US is one area where parents are often asked for paperwork such as this. Our ICE doesn't mess around with such things and can, even though the agents may well not, require you to show the papers or letters proving you were legally allowed to take your son out of the country.)

 

I really hate incorrect and unhelpful answers like this. They are the main reason you should not rely on advice given on a chat board.

 

beachchick has given you a very good and correct answer.

 

Thank you so much. I consider that a true compliment coming from an expert "traveling" parent like you. You have such good advice for parents here (and elsewhere on the forums). I marvel at how you are raising a big family and yet still able to keep your good humor (and sanity). One (plus my very much younger sister who spent lots of time with us) was challenging at times. (I admit I wouldn't have minded having a second, but my health, plus my doctors and fate and my DH fearing he'd lose me, wouldn't allow it.) Anyway, you're a wonderful asset on the forums.

 

As others have stated quite well' date=' the cruise line is not your only (or biggest) concern. When I was questioned, it was by immigration - not the cruiseline (and I have the same last name as my children). You never know if the official who checks your documents is going to happen to be one who questions parents travelling alone with a child - and they're not going to take your word for it.

 

Best,

Mia[/quote']

 

Exactly! And they don't care what the cruise line website says.

 

beachchick

[6rugrats]

 

 

Thank you so much. I consider that a true compliment coming from an expert "traveling" parent like you. You have such good advice for parents here (and elsewhere on the forums). I marvel at how you are raising a big family and yet still able to keep your good humor (and sanity). One (plus my very much younger sister who spent lots of time with us) was challenging at times. (I admit I wouldn't have minded having a second, but my health, plus my doctors and fate and my DH fearing he'd lose me, wouldn't allow it.) Anyway, you're a wonderful asset on the forums.

 

 

 

Exactly! And they don't care what the cruise line website says.

 

beachchick

 

Thank you beachchick! I guess some of us just have to be the voice of reason :).

[mom2girls]

It depends on where you're going. I know that you need to have a notarized letter asking permission to take your child to Mexico. In order to be on the safe side I get a notarized letter every time we cruise. Of course, if you have full, 100% custody with documents that state that. That would be all you need to take.

[amjebrown]

Ok, so I have to ask..... I'm married (to my children's father:) ) so if I were to take my kids on a vacation without him, he would need to sign a letter? Just clarifying. I take my kids everywhere with me and sometimes without Daddy and I have never even thought to take a permission letter. Thanks!

 

Amy

[mom2girls]

Ok, so I have to ask..... I'm married (to my children's father:) ) so if I were to take my kids on a vacation without him, he would need to sign a letter? Just clarifying. I take my kids everywhere with me and sometimes without Daddy and I have never even thought to take a permission letter. Thanks!

 

Amy

From what I've been told, yes you would need a letter from your husband if he's not traveling with you. They may not necessarily ask for it, but I certainly would rather be safe than sorry.

[Kerry's Girls]

Ok, so I have to ask..... I'm married (to my children's father:) ) so if I were to take my kids on a vacation without him, he would need to sign a letter? Just clarifying. I take my kids everywhere with me and sometimes without Daddy and I have never even thought to take a permission letter. Thanks!

 

Amy

 

If your vacation takes you out of the country, yes.

 

Best,

Mia

[doctordi]

I travel with my children without my husband often and I have taken the children out of the country by myself. I usually take a letter with me stating that my husband knows we are going out of the country. I forgot this last time and I didn't need it, but I was uncomfortable since I didn't have it. Better safe than sorry.

[vavasmom]

I am a single mother with full physical and legal custody of my 13 year old DD and we just returned from FOS today. When we checked in all the agent cared about was that we did not have any Noro symptoms. My DD could have been any body (we do not have the same last name)l. No questions were asked. Fast forward to today in Miami - when we went through Customs and Immigration, my DD was asked by the officer who she was traveling with. She stated her mom - he then called me up (because we have different last names we have a customs form for each of us). He asked me if her father was aware she had been out of the country. I explained I had full legal and physical custody and took out my certified order. I don't know what would have happened if I didn't have it - we both have new US passports (from last August). Who knows of another inspector would have even asked.

[crazy4themouse]

If you are able to get such a letter, then by all means get one, just for your peace of mind. That being said, it depends more on how you're entering a country -- by air or land, you have to have a letter like that when traveling to Mexico or Canada. If a parent is going to kidnap their child in some sort of custody battle, it generally isn't going to be by slow-moving, closed-loop cruise ship.

 

Purely anecdotal, but in all our cruises I have never been asked for any such letter by the cruise lines or by customs/immigration. If they want such a document, then they are free to try and find my ex -- because I have no idea where he lives. :confused: DS and I have traveled with birth certificates and ID's (he has had a state-issued one since he was 8, to make traveling easier) and more recently with passports. I know many, many other single parents in my situation and who love to cruise, and I think both the cruiselines and immigration are used to it.

 

But again, if you can get such a letter, why not?

 

 

-gina-

[gapeach713]

I have read a lot of threads about this situation and even asked the question in my own thread. A lot of people giving conflicting advice about the subject. So finally I called RCCL ask the question and they said as long as your child has the same last name you don't need a notorized letter from the father. I told them his age (17years old) and I said I was divorced and they say it is not necessary.

[Kerry's Girls]

I have read a lot of threads about this situation and even asked the question in my own thread. A lot of people giving conflicting advice about the subject. So finally I called RCCL ask the question and they said as long as your child has the same last name you don't need a notorized letter from the father. I told them his age (17years old) and I said I was divorced and they say it is not necessary.

 

I just don't want anyone to read this and think they don't need it. The cruise line has nothing to do with the government officials who may ask you for proof as you leave or enter the country. When I was questioned, it was at immigration as I re-entered the U.S. Those officials won't care that a customer service rep said you don't need it. This could create a delay that could cause someone to miss a flight.

 

Best,

Mia

[6rugrats]

I have read a lot of threads about this situation and even asked the question in my own thread. A lot of people giving conflicting advice about the subject. So finally I called RCCL ask the question and they said as long as your child has the same last name you don't need a notorized letter from the father. I told them his age (17years old) and I said I was divorced and they say it is not necessary.

 

Wrong. The post by Kerry's Girls is correct. A cruise line representative has absolutely nothing to do with immigration. It makes no difference if your child has the same last name as you! People give conflicting advice because a lot of posters who respond to these threads have absolutely no idea what they are talking about.

 

This has already been posted here, but I will write it again. If you have sole legal and physical custody, or dad's name is not on the birth certificate, you must bring these documents and you do not need the signed permission to travel letter. If the other parent is deceased, you must bring this paperwork.

 

If your child has a passport, this is not the same thing as this letter and does not mean your child has the other parent's permission to leave the country.

 

If your child's other parent has any type of custody of the child, whether they are in their lives or not, whether they have a different last name or whether or not they pay child support, it makes no difference. You must have this notarized letter. If you can't find them or they refuse to sign, you can get a court order allowing you to take this trip.

 

Does the cruiseline/airline, etc. have anything to do with immigration laws of each country? No, and don't rely on what they say. Should you count on the fact that other posters have not had a problem? No. They were just lucky.

 

The reality is you probably will not be asked for this letter with your itinerary. But you never know. Go with or without it, it's your choice.

[beachchick]

Please, please everyone listen to Kerry's Girls and 6rugrats. They know what they're talking about. Kerry's Girls has given first-hand experience as an example. We all know that cruise line phone reps often do not have or give out correct information. If it involves something small, then we can let it go; when it involves something as serious as this, then you've got to realize that "but the cruise rep told me..." carries no weight--none--with immigration officials of any country, including the US. ICE can be pretty strict. For proof, re-read Kerry's Girls' story of what happened to her. Fortunately, she was savvy enough to know that "better safe than sorry" is a pretty good motto.

 

beachchick

[Onessa]

Ok, so I have to ask..... I'm married (to my children's father:) ) so if I were to take my kids on a vacation without him, he would need to sign a letter? Just clarifying. I take my kids everywhere with me and sometimes without Daddy and I have never even thought to take a permission letter. Thanks! . .

 

Yes, we were traveling with a school group -- with at least one parent with each child. The airline required proof from each parent where only one parent was accompanying the child, that the other parent consented (on both sides of the flight). One of the group was asked by cruise personnel for proof (and their last names WERE the same). Two were asked for additional information by customs officials.

 

I have also witnessed a father/daughter combo in line in front of me for a flight where the father had his lawyers office courier over a copy of his late wife's death certificate so they could fly. (they were on the same flight as we were and made it!)

 

BTW - my niece was traveling with only her step-father domestically. He said that he has never had documents so scruitanized in all his life! He felt like a criminal, but was darn glad of it - he cares for his step-daughter and is happy that it wasn't easy for him to travel alone with an unrelated female minor.

 

If you are able to get such a letter, then by all means get one, just for your peace of mind. . . .. If they want such a document, then they are free to try and find my ex -- because I have no idea where he lives. :confused: DS and I have traveled with birth certificates and ID's (he has had a state-issued one since he was 8, to make traveling easier) and more recently with passports. . . .

while the costs may seem a bit daunting, if you do not have contact with your child's father, work to get documentation that states that you have sole custody. We've been talking about travel -- which is fun and that we all plan for. My co-worker, whose son was the result of a non-consentual act by a person unknown, had a harrowing experience where her son needed long-term treatment for a medical condition. While the primary caregiver was understanding, she had a devil of a time convincing the medical faciltiy and her insurance company that there was no other parent -- no one who might want to come and sue them and/or no one else from whom to extract money from if she couldn't pay her share :eek:. It made a difficult time more difficult! Whereas a gay friend of mine, did not run into anything like it when he brought his adopted son in for somewhat similar treatment -- same hospital, same healthplan -- but when they asked him, he could provide the legal documentation that said that he was "it".

[crazy4themouse]

while the costs may seem a bit daunting, if you do not have contact with your child's father, work to get documentation that states that you have sole custody.

 

 

 

Texas generally only does "sole physical custody" and "joint legal conservator". The other party would have to pretty much be an axe-murderer for the custodial parent to gain sole legal custody, unfortunately. But like I said, DS and I have cruised numerous times, and fly at least once a year to WDW. No one ever bats an eye. Customs/immigration always seems much more concerned that we might have fruit or poisonous snakes or something. If immigration wants to suddenly make an issue as we come back off the cruise about it, then I guess we'll just have to live on the cruise ship. :)

 

Sorry, not trying to make light of things, but I just don't think they're going to start making an issue of it now. Especially since if you're coming back *into* the same U.S. port, with your child, then you probably didn't kidnap him.