Gay couple's first cruise ever: Do we have to fear homophobia?

After 50+ cruises with most companies, I can say that 99.9% of the time there is no homophobia among crew or passengers.

Yes, there are some looks of disapproval, but then what GLBT person hasn't also given the same look to someone they don't approve of. Looks don't bother us. There has never been any instances I would consider overtly homophobic.

Now, there are always the comedians......On Stage ....... who will, at times, tell a tastless gay joke. It usually does not offend me if he/she are also making jokes about other groups. When it is just antigay jokes, I will mention my dissatisfaction to the Cruise Director, most of the time they have a chat with the entertainer. Now there is nothing wrong with a gay joke that is actually funny and not told with the intent of being homophobic.

Now, there are always the comedians......On Stage ....... who will, at times, tell a tastless gay joke. It usually does not offend me if he/she are also making jokes about other groups. When it is just antigay jokes, I will mention my dissatisfaction to the Cruise Director, most of the time they have a chat with the entertainer. Now there is nothing wrong with a gay joke that is actually funny and not told with the intent of being homophobic.

The only problem with that is context. If Lisa Lampanelli tells an "anti-gay" joke in a room packed with queer and queer-friendly people, that's a quite different experience from sitting in a ship's showroom where you're the Only Visible Queer and having Joe Schmoe do it.

Come to think of it, when have you ever heard an onboard comedian make fun of born-again Christians or homophobic straight men?

Come to think of it, when have you ever heard an onboard comedian make fun of born-again Christians or homophobic straight men?

Love the point you're making, very good question indeed!

An evangelical Christian, a homophobic straight man, and a queer walk into a gay bar. The bartender looks up, "Is this some kind of joke?"...

An evangelical Christian, a homophobic straight man, and a queer walk into a gay bar. The bartender looks up, "Is this some kind of joke?"...

And then they all go into the back room and have sex together.

I've heard that one before.

Hubby and I have been on dozens of cruises on several lines. Never had an issue with staff, crew or fellow passengers. Enjoy!!!!

We've never had any issues with any staff or anything like that, nor with the people we have sat with at dinner. That said, we don't tend to do PDA. And it does bug me a wee bit how heteronormative most things on a cruise are - with the games always talking about 'husband and wife' etc.

As much as I disliked cruising with Princess, they even had gay and lesbian meet ups on the first day and whatnot, which I thought was quite cool. We were too nervous to actually go to it though (which I realise is pathetic).

I mentioned this before but just want to make sure that the OP is aware.

The ports are the most important aspect of a cruise. Some ports are incredibly homophobic, particularly the Caribbean, Africa, Russia and to a lesser extent South America.

We cluelessly have gone to countries in Africa which when we entered the customs agents made homophobic remarks about two men traveling together. We could have possibly been arrested. We also went to Fiji and nearly were involved in a serious attack from homophobes. Even in Capetown SA which is relatively gay friendly for Africa we experienced anti-gay remarks.

Gay men actually have been arrested in the Caribbean off of cruise ships (I believe the stop was Jamaica but I may be mistaken).

Anyway, since the purpose of cruising is to see the world and not the ship be aware of the ports of call and potential homophobic issues. I strongly recommend doing a lot of research on the ports of call.

We did experience some homophobia on Celebrity Millenium from some staff members and it wasn't pleasant. We felt we have gotten the short end of the stick. Well, we paid and tipped accordingly with our gay dollars. Please saty away from Celebrity Millenium, the rest of the Celebrity ships are great - no problem.

Hi all, we're a gay couple (one is Aussie, one German, both in our 30ies) and will go on our first cruise ever on RCI's Allure of the Seas in September. I've seen some reports here and there about single staff members who act discriminating or outright homophobe towards gay couples- is this something we need to fear?

 

It has happened only once or twice since we've been together that we had to have discussions in a hotel about our beds being together and we travel a lot so the last place I want to experience something like this is on our long awaited first every cruise. We've already been told that Jamaica will be the perfect port to stay on the ship (which is probably quite a nice thing to do anyway ;)) but what about staff from a country like this? I am pretty confident that we can tell the occasional homophobe guest where to go in case they can't stand seeing me applying sunscreen to my partner's back but if we get into trouble with any of the staff- what would be the best place to complain, I'm sure RCI wouldn't endorse any such behavior?

 

Any tips or suggestions very much appreciated. And no- we don't have sex in public. But yes- I think it is our very right to hold hands in public even if some of the more conservative-minded fellow cruisers might have an issue with that.

Hi all, we're a gay couple (one is Aussie, one German, both in our 30ies) and will go on our first cruise ever on RCI's Allure of the Seas in September. I've seen some reports here and there about single staff members who act discriminating or outright homophobe towards gay couples- is this something we need to fear?

 

In a word: no.

Gay men actually have been arrested in the Caribbean off of cruise ships (I believe the stop was Jamaica but I may be mistaken).

The only arrest in the Caribbean I'm aware of occurred because the guys involved were having sex on their balcony. Probably would have gotten them arrested almost anywhere in the world.

Still no cure for stupid...

The only arrest in the Caribbean I'm aware of occurred because the guys involved were having sex on their balcony. Probably would have gotten them arrested almost anywhere in the world.

 

Still no cure for stupid...

It was Dominica and they were stupid.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/28/caribbean-gay-cruise-couple-arrest-passengers-_n_1384936.html

Hi all, we're a gay couple (one is Aussie, one German, both in our 30ies) and will go on our first cruise ever on RCI's Allure of the Seas in September. I've seen some reports here and there about single staff members who act discriminating or outright homophobe towards gay couples- is this something we need to fear?

It depends on the line and itinerary. Never had a problem on RCI or Celebrity on 5 or 7-day itineraries. Went on a 4-day Spring Break cruise on NCL to the Bahamas last March where we confronted a lot of ignorant people. In retrospect, we should have expected it, given the timeframe and destination. Lesson learned. Here's my review of the experience for a cautionary tale: http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=2009337

In a word: no.

I would like to expand on his 1 word reply, Hell no.

In truth there will always be some idiot who can be a jerk for any reason, but, we have never encountered that on a cruise.

For dinner we always ask for a table of 6 or 8 and each cruise we have had wonderful seat mates.

Just go, be yourselfs & have fun

i would like to expand on his 1 word reply, hell no.

In truth there will always be some idiot who can be a jerk for any reason, but, we have never encountered that on a cruise.

For dinner we always ask for a table of 6 or 8 and each cruise we have had wonderful seat mates.

Just go, be yourselfs & have fun

:d:d:d!

Aside from Jamaica, which Caribbean/Central American ports are hostile?

Aside from Jamaica, which Caribbean/Central American ports are hostile?

No more that I am aware. I have been to most if not all the Caribbean islands visited by cruise ships including Jamaica where we stayed on the ship along with quite a few of our fellow pax. The ABC islands are Netherlands originally are are very friendly.

At one time a decade or more ago, Cayman had a problem but the lore of money spent by the pax on the island took care of the problem. They replaced the official that was causing the problem. As pointed out below, a gay couple in Dominica having sex on their balcony while in port and in full view of the people on the island were arrested but that had to be a very stupid move on the couple's part.

Well lets just say I have never experience any more gay bashing on cruise ships or the ports then any other place in the US. I was car jacked in DTW on the way to gay bar and it was by two str8 A holes that I had great pleasure it making sure I followed up on their cases and made sure they spent some time in jail. I have been on the big red boat many years ago, in alaska and in the bahamas on RCCL and Carnival. I have had no issues with the bed arranagements have had no issues with my table mates and no issues with the folks over a few PDA. My partner and I are not completely comfortable our selves with Open PDA with Gay folks or Str8 people. Please keep your tongues in your mouths. I dont care how drunk you are. LOL

My partner and I have been together for 18 years committed for 16 and Civilly United for 15. Since our new nine friend on the Supreme Court have said that wont discuss the red neck laws of Indiana, we are thinking about hitting the local clerks office before the cruise the week before Cruise. So who knows maybe we can be in the not so newly wed game by being the newest marriage (days) or the longest. Since gays get a 5 to 1 ratio for marrage, The makes mark and I married for about 80 years. LOL

We had no issues on the Alaska cruise that probably because be didnt do any ship excurtions and we too tired to hit the casinos or bars after a long day of our own excursions. If you do have any issues with the staff take it up with the customer service desk asap. Who knows it might be better then what is offered for Nortor visus issues.

Aside from Jamaica, which Caribbean/Central American ports are hostile?

another religious hot spot to be careful in......

Gay couple taking this cruise. This will be our second Celebrity cruise and our first European cruise. We would love to hear from other gay couples taking this cruise. Love to hear from anyone who has been on this cruise or any of the ports

We didn't have any problems! There was one remark that I overheard from a man a few seats down at the bar, but we ignored it. One of our ports was Cozumel, Mexico, and I wasn't sure what to expect; it ended up working out great. When on the beach, a photographer ran over to us and wanted to take our picture together. We complied, of course, and she snapped a few of us side by side in the froth of the waves. Then she exclaimed: "Besos!" As a Spanish speaker, I couldn't help but pause before leaning in to kiss my partner on the cheek. She took the picture, but then waved her hands and signaled that she wanted a kiss on the lips. The entire time I'd been slightly on-guard, not wanting to act in a way that could be viewed as offensive by a local such as herself, so I was really pleased with her encouragement. Made my day!

Can I throw in 2 cents here.

I am not gay but have friends who are, I've seen if anything less homophobia on ships than on land, for what that observation might be worth.

I can't say you wont have anyone turning there nose up, but they'll be a minority, I'm more likely to have a problem for having a disability than you are for being gay.

My partner (now husband) and I have been on 10 cruises (Princess and Carnival) and have never had a problem. Check the daily program, there will be a gay get-together. Go and meet some interesting people. I will say some CDs are better than otherd (On the Caribbean Princess they provided champagne to the group and on the Crown they put us in the aft bar at inconvenient times).

Our honeymoon was on the Sapphire last spring and the MDR staff made us feel extra welcome. Go and have a great time!

I've heard, on ship, you'll find less trouble than you may find at home. Everybody is out to have a good time and are pretty self absorbed and only paying attention to the things that directly affect them. The old saying "people think about you less than you realize" applies here.

However, how have you all addressed any issues in ports? I have read in the past of locals asking the tourists (man/man woman/woman, etc.) sometimes agressively if they are siblings, as it is unusual in their customs for two people who aren't married or related to travel and vacation together.

My partner and I are not of the same nationality...so... "we're brothers/cousins" isn't going to work here :)

I've heard, on ship, you'll find less trouble than you may find at home. Everybody is out to have a good time and are pretty self absorbed and only paying attention to the things that directly affect them. The old saying "people think about you less than you realize" applies here.

 

However, how have you all addressed any issues in ports? I have read in the past of locals asking the tourists (man/man woman/woman, etc.) sometimes agressively if they are siblings, as it is unusual in their customs for two people who aren't married or related to travel and vacation together.

 

My partner and I are not of the same nationality...so... "we're brothers/cousins" isn't going to work here :)

We didn't have any issues in port, and we are also different nationalities, my husband is Puerto Rican and I'm about as white as they come. Our relationship was never probed, but we did avoid any PDA when in large public places off the ship. I guess if the issue ever came up I'd have to evaluate the atmosphere and decide whether to say we are married or just say we are college friends.