Would you go alone?

I am supposed to be married Oct 15 of this year. I was told at 3pm today that he no longer wishes to be married.

My question is, in light of the fact that I busted my butt to get this time off, paid for the cruise in full and would lose money.......would you go alone or just suck up the loss and stay home?

Bostonlass - I am so sorry.......

Imo, you should go....I cruised solo in June and just last week, and had a grand time. I think it will be good for you to be "away from it all".....I would make sure your TA lets the cruiseline know this is not a honeymoon cruise afterall...to avoid further heartache while on board.

Again, I am so sorry for your heartache. (((HUGS)))

Marie

Boston, Also want to say how sorry I am about what happened!....(His loss)!

I agree with Marie and would tell you to go......I have sailed 4 times in a row solo and will be going again on 9-11...( HOPEFULLY)...not sure if Frances will have something to say about it though!

Anyway, I also agree, tell the cruiseline it is not your honeymoon......

Whatever you decide, I wish you good things.

Hey Marie.....welcome home, hope you are feeling better:)

Take a girlfriend, sister, mom, grandma, aunt, another boyfriend. I, too am sorry to hear your news, but I can tell you from experience, it's better to know now than later, this guy did you a BIG FAVOR!

If no one else can go, go alone, perhaps you can find a fantasy romance onboard, a little fling to help you get over the pain! It's premature, but a lot of us know you will regret the $$ loss more than the fiance' loss in a few years.

Bostonlass,

I'm so sorry for your broken engagement. My opinion would be to go on the cruise and have a great time.

However, during the cruise, I'm sure that there are going to be some tough moments for you, so if you have friend - the kind that can always make you smile - I'd bring him/her along. If not, go anyway and make new friends!

Have a blast!

In my experience, many cruisers take solo cruisers under their wings. Have a plan before you go. Decide to get involved in the onboard activities and book some excursions. You may have some "tough" moments but have a plan B if that happens. I remember seeing a guy sobbing quietly late one night all alone in an empty lounge as I walked through...when asked if he was okay, I found out his fiancee was supposed to be on their "honeymoon" cruise but she died 4 months prior. We talked about the things in life we can control and the things in life we can not. How one responds to each can make a difference. Whenever I spotted him throughout the week, he was laughing, dancing, and socializing with large groups of people. Did he probably have some other sobbing moments? I assume so but I surmise in the end he was glad he went. Good luck to you and have fun on your cruise!

Coka

Wow Coka...that certainly puts things in perspective for me...for the moment that is. I'm going to look into whether I can subtact him and add my two daughters, ages 7 and 8. If not I think my sister just might join me, though it's going to be tough to get her away for the week without her hubby. My best friend is unfortunately having surgery on the 18th so unless she can reschedule she's out.

I wonder how hard it will be to get someone...I mean we're talking all expenses paid so how hard can it be to convince someone!:rolleyes:

happy ks - Thanks for the thought, but being with a man is the furthest thing on my mind. As a matter of fact I think I'm done. I'm 38, will turn 39 in a couple of weeks. I'm divorced, hubby left me and the kids for another woman. I honestly think I'm all out of steam as far as that stuff goes.

I just want to go, forget it all, enjoy the moon shining off the water at night and regroup.:cool:

Then my advice is to regroup alone. Being able to do what you want to do when you want to do it, is very liberating..especially in light of what you've just gone through. You'll meet some new people in a very safe environment.

"I wonder how hard it ....." I'll go, I'll go. <G>

I concur. Sometime things are not meant to be. And, typing it, is a lot easier, than actually dealing with it.

I would go and not stay home. If everything is paid for and you have the time off, than go. If you can take your daughters, than all the better but if not, still go.

I enjoy being on deck at night with the stars and the moon shining. It's very peaceful and calm. Ever since my dad died, I usually breakdown when I first go out on deck but I'm getting better.

Ill be somewhere in the Carribean that month. Not sure where.

Enjoy and regroup. Good luck.

Rogue

Please go on the cruise! You are mature enough to be able

to handle it - and you might even surprise yourself with the things

you might enjoy!

Definitely have your TA be sure you are seated at a large table. I have cruised alone and find round, tables of 8 work well for conversation. As others have said, join groups for excursions and on-board activities. And if you enjoy reading, bring some good paperbacks for quiet time in your cabin (or check out the onboard library - which may also have some good videos).

You deserve this cruise and I think you will probably find some very good moments.

I decided to go and I'm bringing my sister who is a party animal. ;) I'm now wishing that I had kept traditional dining though but I think that they still sit you in large tables if you want in personal choice dining.

Thanks for the encouragement.:)

Good for you, bostonlass! Sounds like you will be on a Princess cruise. The personal choice option is great...especially when you arrive back on ship from ports...no rushing for dinner!

Coka

Bostongal...

I would go too! and I also am sorry to hear. I'm not far from your position....our cruise has been booked since Aug of last year (sailing in Nov)...13 days ago, I caught him (x-finance now) with another woman...his employee no less and although i was a little suspicious since last summer, he always had a reason for the coincidences i pointed out. i think he was waiting until after the cruise to finally make it 'public'...but i busted them together before that could happen.

i'm now going in 'MY' junior suite cabin, by myself---although his mom & sis are going to be in a cabin too...but not him....he'll be nowhere on the ship if i have anything to do with it.

what it boils down to is....i worked hard for this vacation and to pay off two cabins (their's too) and i'll be &%^$#* if anyone is going to take that away from me

go - have a great time, enjoy your cruise and relaxation...

Bostongal...

 

I would go too! and I also am sorry to hear. I'm not far from your position....our cruise has been booked since Aug of last year (sailing in Nov)...13 days ago, I caught him (x-finance now) with another woman...his employee no less and although i was a little suspicious since last summer, he always had a reason for the coincidences i pointed out. i think he was waiting until after the cruise to finally make it 'public'...but i busted them together before that could happen.

 

i'm now going in 'MY' junior suite cabin, by myself---although his mom & sis are going to be in a cabin too...but not him....he'll be nowhere on the ship if i have anything to do with it.

 

what it boils down to is....i worked hard for this vacation and to pay off two cabins (their's too) and i'll be &%^$#* if anyone is going to take that away from me

 

go - have a great time, enjoy your cruise and relaxation...

OMG I am so sorry!!! Do you really want his family to still go? It's pretty easy to change the names on the tickets. If I were you I would tell them all to go fly a kite and take your whole family or some really good friends. They might even pay you a bit for the privilege. Even if you feel close to them now still you're talking two months and some weeks from now...you may have moved on by them and wonder why you're paying for them to go to. Just a thought. What is it with men?!?!?!?!?! (I know they're not ALL like that but I have really bad luck and have sworn them all off for life at this point):mad:

hey gal...

yes i am good friends with his sister still...his mom and sister think he is dog slime......and so far the 3 of us plan on going...they in their cabin and me in mine.... i emailed my parents tonight and asked if they would consider making my cabin a cabin for 3...it is their 50th anniversary this year....if not - i will go by myself...

the focus of this trip is to enjoy myself, relax, recooperate and lord knows i will need a lot of that. i'm still trying to find an apt to move to...imagine going from a beautiful home to a small apt....everyone tells me that i will make it my home, but it is still all so new that it hasn't really sunk in yet.

i figure the cruise will be about 6-7 weeks after i get moved into the apt/townhouse....i will need this time to relax on the deck and read, play cards, interact with others and just try to find myself again.....

it's ruff...very ruff....but if i give in, then they will win and the heartache will have been for nothing.....

too bad we are not on the same ship...we could share stories or pal-around....

best wishes and good luck to u.............

guess i should change my log-in to x-ftrpltsgal instead of ftrpltsgal (fighter pilots gal)....what a jerk...........

noooooooooooooo.....make it *totally* different. You are not an ex anything. You are you. Make it reflect something you love that only has to do with you!!!

I wish we were on the same ship too!!! I was just talking to a friend of mine over dinner at Chilis (love their margaritas!) and I just don't get what I did in a past life to have to deal with all of this stuff. My husband left me with two daughters when they were only 2 and 3 years old. (They are irish twins). Took me 6 months to get back on my feet and realize I had been doing everything myself all along. I think that's why I'm not *as* devastated this time around because my life did not revolve around him...my kids and my job came first.

You'll be ok. Just keep your chin up and rely on your family and friends. They'll need you at some point too so don't feel bad about it.

I am looking forward to this cruise so much. I need to get away and just relax.

From from Boston Lass to another - GO and enjoy yourself!

If you're sister can't make feel free to drop me an email. I'm always up for another cruise :D

hi bostongal:

how r u doing? better than me i hope

i am in such angry frame of mind today.....supposedly, guess who said he had to go to work today to take care of some special reports that were due on tuesday. guess where he was.......until after noon and he left around 8 this morning....

i asked for some respect and coutesy until our relationship was finalized and settlements, etc. were done. he can't even do that!!!!!!!!

he continually challenges my faith and trust in him, yet he betrays it again and again.....i guess stupid people are always going to be stupid and believe the best in others....(speaking of me)...

please brilliance...hurry and get here...i so need this trip - it will be hard....i will be thinking it should be our cabin, our trip, our lives....but right now i just need the escape

ftrpltsgal - I'm sure that things will get better for you as time goes on. One thing I do want to say though, and please don't take this the wrong way, is that you might not want to publicize her name on the internet. I know that you're hurting right now and that you probably want revenge, etc. but in the longrun, and you probably can't see this now, you always want to be the "better person" so that you can forever hold your head high and know that you did nothing wrong.

Good luck and God bless :)

sry bostongal...u r right....as much as i am hurting and angry right now...u r right....i will try and keep my tongue at bay in the future....maybe after i finally find a place of my own, i will see that he is the one who is losing, right now it is just hard to see it that way and i want to make him hurt as much as he is hurting me...

i will sign off from these boards until i feel i have healed some.........

I am in the same situation, for the most part. Engaged and we were booked to sail TOGETHER this October. No longer engaged, but I am still going to enjoy that cruise!! Don't let his loss ruin your fun! Keep a PMA!

Keep your eyes open that you may find a great guy while cruising! Just keep your guard up!!

Good luck! When are you sailing?!

I am sailing 11/22. We did have 2 cabins booked (us in one) and (m.i.l. and s.i.l.) in the other. The 2 of them still plan on going. Get this though, last night the m.i.l. called me to say that she had been talking to her sister (my x-aunt) and she will go in his place I just need to give the information and what costs she will need. The m.i.l. said "well I told "jane doe (sis)" that "john doe" isn't going and she wants to go. She mentioned nothing to me about this being a break-up, just made it sound like he was not going.

First, it made it sound like it wasn't my trip or my cabin...the idea of sharing a cabin with someone I don't know, in this time of my life just flabergasted me. Needless to say I am going to turn her down in a nice way...I need to have the security of spending time in my cabin if I need, by myself without worrying about letting my feelings flow. Although I am still looking forward to this trip very much, I do know that there will be some difficult times as I will know inside that it was to be for us.

Every day is a new day, there are many friends, family and co-workers in

my life that are here for 'me' to support me anyway they can.

Too bad you'll not be sailing at the same time as myself and bostongal...we could have a blast....

To quote a few of my favorites: "when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade" "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you will get". Aint this the truth...

And I say..."When life hands you lemons, stuff them in your bra!" Well, works for me..I have no boobs! Hope I got you to laugh!! That's the main thing!

I say, we plan a future cruise together! By then we will all have recovered and can share positive experiences! What do you think?!

Keep your chin up! I keep reminding myself that NOT all men are pigs! We just happened to get that barrel of lemons!

Ladies,

You all are making us males feel bad. :( As it has been mentioned we are all not bad. Yes, there are some that are not good but in all honesty it goes both ways and I know that from experience. I still feel cruising is a pretty good way for a single to take a nice vacation. The atmosphere at least creates a few opportunities to meet people of all types. Go out and have a good time on those cruises you have planned!!