patseacruiser Posted July 16, 2014 #1 Share Posted July 16, 2014 I am a widow of 10-1/2 months and am going to try a widows cruise. We are not singles (although technically we are) but we aren't looking for love. We are just looking for people like ourselves who understand what we're all going through. We all met on a facebook group for widows over 55 and a regular widows facebook group. We have a psychic Marisa Ryan giving group readings. I'm excited about it to meet people who understand and won't be saying oh get over it already. As it is most of us lose that family support after about 30 days and by 6 months no one wants to talk about your husband. I hope this will be good for us :o 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrobstad Posted July 17, 2014 #2 Share Posted July 17, 2014 I'll be interested to hear how it goes. I've been a widow for 13 years and a solo cruiser. Still haven't found support in all that time. Wish I had the flexibility of time to join you. Sent from my iPad using Forums mobile app 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enyliram Posted July 17, 2014 #3 Share Posted July 17, 2014 I lost my husband 3 months ago. I do not belong to facebook. can you tell me anymore information about your group and your planned cruises? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrobstad Posted July 19, 2014 #4 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Sorry about your loss. It still must be so raw. I wish you well. Cruising helped keep me afloat. Try a studio room on NCL Epic or Getaway. You'll meet many solos like you! Sent from my iPad using Forums mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nc-canuck Posted July 23, 2014 #5 Share Posted July 23, 2014 I lost my husband 3 months ago. I do not belong to facebook. can you tell me anymore information about your group and your planned cruises? Enyliram, Sorry for your loss as well. I loss my wife last September and took my first solo cruise this past April on the Seabourn Odyssey. Despite the occasional sad day, the trip exceeded every expectation. The cruise line made my first "solo" travel quite easy with little things like ensuring I was invited to a hosted table each evening if I so desired. I enjoyed it all so much I am taking another cruise this October again on the Seabourn Odyssey from Athens to Mumbai. Cruising doesn't make you forget but on Seabourn the service level and small ship ( 200 cabins) makes adapting to our new lives much easier. Good luck with your travels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrobstad Posted July 23, 2014 #6 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Good outlook! Life will always be different, but it is what you make it. We need things to look forward to, and what's better than a cruise! Sent from my iPhone using Forums mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wizard-of-roz Posted July 24, 2014 #7 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Oh! My Gosh! I've been looking for people just like you or should I say just like me! Folks who have lost a partner and love to cruise. My DH passed a year and 3 months ago. And, then our wonderful Lab, Brenda, passed 10 months after him. Brenda had finished her 15th cruise with both of us. She's my Service Dog and she and I loved to walk the length of the ship in the morning and evening together. I have a Successor Dog "Horton." He'll be on his 4th or 5th cruise on September 20th onboard the Crown Princess, he's getting used to my favorite things to do onboard a cruise and is becoming a great traveler. I'm also booked on the Pacific Princess for December 3, 2015 which will celebrate 50 years of cruising for the Love Boat, with one more cruise inbetween. I thought I'd join a chat room to talk to other's like myself but so glad I found you. I have another thread on Cruise Critic - Disabled Cruising-Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Cruising With a Service Dog. It's been going since 2005 and has over 800,000 hits. We've all become great friends and have even cruised together on occasion. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sail7seas Posted July 26, 2014 #8 Share Posted July 26, 2014 I also lost my dear husband three months ago after being together for 47 years. I am still at the 'surreal' stage of thinking this is a temporary state and he'll be home soon. Sigh...... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6rugrats Posted July 26, 2014 #9 Share Posted July 26, 2014 I also lost my dear husband three months ago after being together for 47 years. I am still at the 'surreal' stage of thinking this is a temporary state and he'll be home soon. Sigh...... I am so sorry; you are still in the shock stage. Even after a year, I still find myself having a brief moment when I too think this is going to happen, though of course, I know it's not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrobstad Posted July 27, 2014 #10 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Geez, I can't believe I'm the "senior" widow/widower here, at age 59! My husband passed when I was 45. He would have loved cruising, but we were too busy raising our three teenage boys. I've completed three Epics, 1 Getaway, one RCCL Serenade, and a 12 day dream cruise on RCCL AOS to the Mediterranean as a solo. I feel I've survived, yes survived, because I realized I needed to take care of myself in order to care for others. Some viewed my cruising as selfish, most consider it brave. I've met wonderful friends cruising, Most recently, I've learned to dine alone at dinner. For me, that was a big step. On the Getaway, the solos never wanted to dine in the specialities, so I'd go to the lounge meeting, ask around, and then dine alone outside. I'd bring a magazine, but the sunsets were so incredible, I'd just get lost in reverie. I hope you all continue. I've always met widows/widowers in the studio lounge, yet we never really discuss it. We've discussed past and future cruises, excursions, our families....cruising has been an integral part of my healing plan, and I hope it will be part of yours, too. Sent from my iPad using Forums mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6rugrats Posted July 27, 2014 #11 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Selfish? What's wrong with people? It's incredible and tremendously brave that you were able to do this! Good for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wizard-of-roz Posted July 27, 2014 #12 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I also lost my dear husband three months ago after being together for 47 years. I am still at the 'surreal' stage of thinking this is a temporary state and he'll be home soon. Sigh...... I'm writing on my DH's computer and using his avatar. I want to keep it going in his memory. I total understand what you're feeling! Someone told me, "feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wizard-of-roz Posted July 27, 2014 #13 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Geez, I can't believe I'm the "senior" widow/widower here, at age 59! My husband passed when I was 45. He would have loved cruising, but we were too busy raising our three teenage boys. I've completed three Epics, 1 Getaway, one RCCL Serenade, and a 12 day dream cruise on RCCL AOS to the Mediterranean as a solo. I feel I've survived, yes survived, because I realized I needed to take care of myself in order to care for others. Some viewed my cruising as selfish, most consider it brave. I've met wonderful friends cruising, Most recently, I've learned to dine alone at dinner. For me, that was a big step. On the Getaway, the solos never wanted to dine in the specialities, so I'd go to the lounge meeting, ask around, and then dine alone outside. I'd bring a magazine, but the sunsets were so incredible, I'd just get lost in reverie. I hope you all continue. I've always met widows/widowers in the studio lounge, yet we never really discuss it. We've discussed past and future cruises, excursions, our families....cruising has been an integral part of my healing plan, and I hope it will be part of yours, too.[ATTACH]320336[/ATTACH] Sent from my iPad using Forums mobile app You certainly were a very young widow. It sounds like you've moved forward in a positive way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wizard-of-roz Posted July 27, 2014 #14 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Selfish? What's wrong with people? It's incredible and tremendously brave that you were able to do this! Good for you! I totally agree with you. And, I love your avatar, what a handsome dog! It looks a lot like my Horton. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sail7seas Posted July 27, 2014 #15 Share Posted July 27, 2014 You are a great group here. Thanks so much for the supportive words. DH and I had over 90 cruises together and cruising was a huge part of our life. I hope to someday cruise again but I am definitely not ready now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrobstad Posted July 27, 2014 #16 Share Posted July 27, 2014 (edited) I agree--fabulous group! I only wish it was available the year after my husband died. I should add one more piece of advice: you must follow your head and heart, which often means not listening to others, even if they have your best interests at heart. If you're not ready to cruise, wait til you feel you are ready. The dumbest thing ever said to me is , "You should be over it by now." My father actually was the one who said this, but it was only when he was widowed that he realized we all have different timetables. Good luck! Peace and happiness to you! Sent from my iPad using Forums mobile app Edited July 27, 2014 by mrobstad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boulders Posted July 29, 2014 #17 Share Posted July 29, 2014 A widow's cruise is a great idea. I've been widowed for 9 years. I didn't start cruising until after my dh died. He died very young, when we were both 42. Cruising allows me to get out there and see the world and meet interesting people while having someone to do the driving, and knowing where I will eat and sleep each night. Cruising has been very healing for me, but I think a large part of that is because I don't associate cruising with my dh. My dh and I used to go skiing and I couldn't bring myself to do it anymore after he was gone. For now, I can still rope my children into cruising with me. But in a few years, I'll probably be looking for a group to cruise with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassettMom Posted July 29, 2014 #18 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I am a widow of 10-1/2 months and am going to try a widows cruise. We are not singles (although technically we are) but we aren't looking for love. We are just looking for people like ourselves who understand what we're all going through. We all met on a facebook group for widows over 55 and a regular widows facebook group. We have a psychic Marisa Ryan giving group readings. I'm excited about it to meet people who understand and won't be saying oh get over it already. As it is most of us lose that family support after about 30 days and by 6 months no one wants to talk about your husband. I hope this will be good for us :o What cruise are you all going on? I lost my husband 4 years ago and went on my first cruise on the first year anniversary just to get away--I went solo thinking it can't be any worse than what I've gone through and it would at least let me "run away from home" at a time I knew wouldn't be easy. While there were some weepy moments, I actually did enjoy myself (...and now I'm addicted :D). Thanks for mentioning the widows over 55 group--I joined yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wizard-of-roz Posted July 29, 2014 #19 Share Posted July 29, 2014 (edited) You are a great group here.Thanks so much for the supportive words. DH and I had over 90 cruises together and cruising was a huge part of our life. I hope to someday cruise again but I am definitely not ready now. I find it very difficult to listen to folks who tell me, "move on", I must be slow because I don't know what "move on" means. I'm lucky that I can move forward on some days, let alone move on. Living every day without my best friend is so hard to do! I'm finally cruising again and even tried some solo's, it was so, so hard to do. I found myself talking to my DH about getting ready for dinner, about going to the show and on and on! I still find it difficult to find my smile but it is coming back.......very slowly! One white cap at a time! We all have a different inner clock, you'll know, you'll just know. I say this because it helps me too. I wish you well, I wish you smiles and I wish you inner peace. Edited July 29, 2014 by wizard-of-roz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wizard-of-roz Posted July 29, 2014 #20 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I agree--fabulous group! I only wish it was available the year after my husband died. I should add one more piece of advice: you must follow your head and heart, which often means not listening to others, even if they have your best interests at heart. If you're not ready to cruise, wait til you feel you are ready. The dumbest thing ever said to me is , "You should be over it by now." My father actually was the one who said this, but it was only when he was widowed that he realized we all have different timetables. Good luck! Peace and happiness to you! Sent from my iPad using Forums mobile app Your words are so true. My friends and family think its time that I do more! I work a full time job and come right home after work. They want me to join them for dinner, plays, etc., etc. I don't want to. I want to go straight home. Being out with the laughter, chit-chat and gaiety of life is so bothersome to me right now. I don't want to hear it. Not yet! It's been a little over 400 days since my DH passed and it feels like yesterday. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wizard-of-roz Posted July 29, 2014 #21 Share Posted July 29, 2014 What cruise are you all going on? I lost my husband 4 years ago and went on my first cruise on the first year anniversary just to get away--I went solo thinking it can't be any worse than what I've gone through and it would at least let me "run away from home" at a time I knew wouldn't be easy. While there were some weepy moments, I actually did enjoy myself (...and now I'm addicted :D). Thanks for mentioning the widows over 55 group--I joined yesterday. Can you tell this "weepy" widow where to find the widows group? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sail7seas Posted July 29, 2014 #22 Share Posted July 29, 2014 The messages here are so kind and helpful. Only someone who has been in the position can understand. I am so happy to have found this thread. :) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassettMom Posted July 30, 2014 #23 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Can you tell this "weepy" widow where to find the widows group? Do a search on facebook for widows over 55. That's how I found them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wizard-of-roz Posted July 30, 2014 #24 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Do a search on facebook for widows over 55. That's how I found them. Thank you so much. I did find them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enyliram Posted July 31, 2014 #25 Share Posted July 31, 2014 I just cant seem to push the button to book .decisions are so difficult. its only been 4 months now since my husband passed away and I am looking at cruises asking myself if we would be happy, blotting out the reality that there is no we. thought of booking cruise close to home here in florida from port everglades or Miami but we have been on most of them. over 50 cruises to our credit. I don't think I would be able to cruise on same ship that we cruised together. memories too raw. did find a cruise line out of Miami which has a special running for a few days. have never been on them before and it will all be brand new for me . I must leave my house for a week or so as it too hard to be alone here. not looking for company, just trying to ease some pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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