Woman to woman cruiser advice please (weight issue)

Okay so I had a baby a little over year ago, and was doing good at losing the weight, then I had a surprise pregnancy a few months later and I lost the baby to a miscarriage =(. After that sad ordeal I picked up the pieces and have done the best to raise my son now 18 month old son as a new mom in her mid twenties. Yet since my miscarriage I have become an emotional eater and went through many health issues and packed on pounds.

The last cruise we've been on was 9 months ago and I felt comfortable in my skin as I wasn't that big and recovering from two pregnancies. Yet my husband just surpised me this week that we are taking a cruise in 2 MONTHS and I am at the biggest I have ever been in my life =(. I don't look like that woman from the movie 'Precious' or anything, but I went from being thick (hour glass figure) to chubby girl, to okay just above chubby borderline "fat" (I HATE using that term but I'm trying to be realistic) and it's winter here in NY so for 3 months I've been able to hide under hoodies and sweat pants as I was trying to diet. Yet in two months I'll be in 90 degree sticky humid and hot Miami and need to be in short sleeves and shorts, but I am not comfortable to wear those things at all. I am finally healthy enough to be on a strict diet and started an even stricter one since the great new about our vacation.

My question is are there any women out there who feel as I do? Are there any suggestions on what to wear? How did you feel about walking around in bathing suits if you are bigger as I. I am only 5'5 and carry my weight in my mid section (thighs,butt, big tummy) no where else really.

I can't believe I will feel too embarrassed to walk around in shorts, but I don't want to sweat to death in jeans either. There will be girls my age in bikinis with amazing bodies and because of my pregnancies and health issues I will feel horrible and self conscience. As I said the cold winter months in this state made it so that once I was able to diet again I could take it slow but now we will be in Miami in 8 weeks.

Any major weight loss tips (I plan to keep a Healthy diet after the cruise, but will go the appetite suppressant route and Alli with salad and veggies diet for the 8 weeks).... because of health issues the only exercise I'm physically able to do is a 2.2 mile walk close to everyday (although now that we are in a blizzard it is quite difficult to get outside).

Has anyone ever felt this way?

Yes....yes there are women out there who feel like you...beleive me :(

First of all my sympathies to you for the loss of your angel, yesterday my twin angel babies would have been 9, and I too have been through the horror of a lost pregnancy...so i understand the emotional eating part too...been there done that still wearing the XX t-shirt...

After the girls died i was a mess, so when my little guy came along afterwards i was on highrisk pregnancy 6.5 month complete bedrest mode...so i can say the hourglass figure is definately gone for good. I leave in two weeks and my wardrobe is less than spring break chic...and you know what...me and my flab have been through a lot...so if anyone wants to laugh or smirk or make remarks about the fat girl at the buffet...i say go for it...:cool: So you know what i say to myself....Im going on a cruise, I dont give two craps what anyone thinks about my two peice xtra large tankini...and i remember that the people ive seen on the beach who may be bigger than me still have a large smile and seem to be happy just being there too...so thats good enough for me. :D

Enjoy your cruise...and remember that no one can ever understand what you've been through...so you have nothing to be ashamed of. Lets just think of eachother when we slip those thighs into the bathing suit and give each other a virtual high five!!!! :p

Yes I have been there and back a few times in my life, and I am now over 50. First of all, let me say that you will not be the only person on board who is overweight, and you should wear your bathing suit and your shorts anyway. There is no reason to dress yourself from head to toe and be uncomfortable in warm weather. So go for it, wear what you feel is comfortable for the pool decks.

As for losing weight. I can only say, and with great emphasis...if you go on a strict diet and lose weight fast, you cannot healthily maintain that diet, and you will still plateau like with any diet. you will gain that weight back again quickly and with an extra load to boot. Go on a healthy diet, one that is balanced but practices portion control.

Bottom line, you will not be alone, you will see plenty others who are heavier than you. And try losing weight slowly, and steadily with a balanced diet and increased excercise. Hope this helpls. Have a great cruise.:)

I am very sorry for your loss.

I think a lot of women struggle with body image. I have switched from shorts to cute sundresses which are way cooler when it is hot. Bathing suits are bathing suits. Yes there are some amazing looking people out there and then there are a lot of people just like us. Remember, some suits are more flattering than others. Classic example-a guy on a med cruise in a black thong.

First off I would like to say thank you, and that I am also sorry for your loss! I know how you feel but could never imagine going through this with twins. You are a true solider girl and all we could do is say hello to them in our prayer at night and live for our miracle sons <3

I feel the same way as you do, and what's really funny is that at 25 especially after becoming a mother I really did stop caring what others think, although from this post you may never guess. lol

I don't even really think it's about what others think but more that I just would not feel comfortable myself walking around in what I own. In the summer (last summer I was 40 pounds lighter) I like to wear tank tops and shorts but that cellulite attacked my thighs and all the walking I do doesn't seem to help =\

Any suggestions on any kind of fashion? I've seen cute maxi dresses but beyond that would never help. It being winter here I'm able to wear stockings with my dresses but I already no on a cruise I like to wear the least amount of clothing I can.

Yet if my 8 week diet doesn't work I will re-read your post because it honestly did make me feel alot better...it's a really good way of taking it (how you say our bodies have been through a lot and only we know what we've been through). :-)

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. *hugs* to you that. I'm a big girl, always have been and got a little bigger after I had my kiddos. As you said, not "precious" fat, but big enough to make you uncomfortable.

I've been on 2 cruises before and let me just tell you, people just don't care when they're on vacation. It's time for you to have fun and enjoy yourself. So what if you're not a size 2 with the "picture perfect" body. Those people have plenty of problems of their own. When I'm on a vacation with my family, they're the only ones whose opinions I truly care about. If you're concerned about showing your butt and thighs, you can always get a suit that has a little skirt on the bottom. Or a wrap for around the waist. Trust me though, I've seen "precious" body types wearing bikinis. Should they be? Oh heck no! But you know that? They're having the time of their lives.

Don't stress about being heavier then you were. Take your time losing your weight. As the old saying goes, it didn't get there overnight and it's not going to come off over night. Enjoy your cruise and your family!! :D

When I was heavier, I found I was more comfortable in dresses than tank top and shorts. I used to live in south Florida, so I could recommend some places to get some really cute dresses to take with you at an inexpensive price. (Don't know if NY has their summer dresses out yet.)

Second, and most will think this seems insensitive but I am not trying to be. Just keep in mind that the people you come across on the ship -- you will never see those people ever again (and they will never see you ever again). Who cares what you look like?!?! You will be surprised at how many women will be bigger than you, wearing less than you, and not giving a crap (yes, some the size of the woman in Precious). It wasn't until I took a cruise at my heaviest weight and worried about what I would look like when I realized this.

It is a vacation -- time to let your hair down and have fun. At the end of the day, you will have to be comfortable in whatever you are wearing. I totally understand where you are coming from, so please try not to worry about it.

I'm very fluffy and have been so for a very long time. I do wear shorts and tee's on the ship and I have a couple of different bathing suits that address my tummy and upper thigh area. One is a regular tank with tummy control but also has matching swim shorts to go over it. The other is a one piece with a skirt from just under the bust.

Carnaival's dress code is more relaxed these days and I wear capri's to the dining room most evenings. Dress for your comfort and don't worry about others. You will likely see people much larger than yourself.

I agree that a radical diet isn't something that should be done over the long term, but I see nothing wrong with a short crash diet. I prefer to go the low carb route because the weight loss is rapid. If you want a formal meal plan to follow most grocery stores carry the Atkins products.

Thank you very much SMSACE6 I really do appreciate your advice! I do understand that I will not be the only overweight person there =) and I love to see everyone at any size, as I truly believe we are all beautiful no matter what size. But I guess for me personally it's just that this weight came about over a little less then a year. I went from having a great (first) pregnancy back to hourglass then now I am getting to know a whole new body. I guess if I've accumulated this over the years of pigging out maybe I'd feel different? But because of major health issues and the emotional snacking after the miscarriage and body changes over a few quick months, it is a shock.

As I said in my reply just now to TravelNerd, thank you for the confidence build! =) but the reason why I feel like I will not be that comfortable in shorts isn't because of what others may think but because I personally don't like being in shorts now that the cellulite has attacked my thighs although I walk 2 miles everyday it's not going anywhere.

I am 25 and do know that others my age will be in bikinis as I was just last summer and I guess I'm trying to find myself in this new body. The fact that this cruise news was just brought to me and saying I only have 8 weeks was a shock (although a wonderful piece of news) I don't even know how to shop =( Any fashion advice? :-)

Also thank you for the dieting advice. I was dieting once I was able to, but on a steady diet as summer is a while away and we are currently in freezing temperatures... but even though I know it's not too healthy, to be cruise ready in such a short time I do think I will try a major diet just for the couple of weeks leading into it. All healthy food, no soda just water, and yes an appetite suppressant to help aide. It's all I could think of for now.

First I would like to thank you, it hasn't been easy but I could finally talk about him/her and be at peace just knowing that heaven is their new home and my focus is on my son and raising him to be a great little boy! <3

Second... thank you, that was some great advice. Sundresses ...now that is something I could definitely do. Always haha!

As for comfort...I have to say i wear alot of skorts now...not shorts because they just dont stay where theyre supposed to :D I also have a nice collection of beach wraps that i tie around my bathing suit...and when travelling around i stick to capri pants.

What i am really trying to get away from are those plain walmart boxy t-shirts...now that im packing my bags and being a little more emotional than usual...its been a bit of a challenge to find mix and matches.

Firstly thank you for the *hugs* it is truly appreciated. Support especially from mommies has always been my best tool at healing!

Also girl you are so right !! but as I said in my reply to others it's not so much that I care about what others will think of me and my body, but I literally gained another half of my weight in a little less then a year. Last summer I didn't have this problem and was currently on a diet to work on it for next summer. But I guess it's that my husband just told me 'oh btw in 8 weeks u are going to be in 90 degree heat' (As right now it is 20 degrees) meaning like I didn't think I'd be thrown into wearing summer clothes anytime soon and it had me feeling down about my body. But so many of you ladies are making me feel a lot better about myself, and I thank you soo much!

Know that there will be others your size and larger. They will be in bathing suits of all kinds, shorts, skimpy dresses.

You are doing what you can do to make yourself feel better. That's all you can do.

I hope you relax and enjoy yourself. If you don't know one else in your party will either.

And to answer your question ... I'd bet 99% of us have felt the same, about the same issue or another.

PS: Chances are very good that you will never, ever see any of your fellow cruisers again.

First off I would like to say thank you, and that I am also sorry for your loss! I know how you feel but could never imagine going through this with twins. You are a true solider girl and all we could do is say hello to them in our prayer at night and live for our miracle sons <3

 

I feel the same way as you do, and what's really funny is that at 25 especially after becoming a mother I really did stop caring what others think, although from this post you may never guess. lol

 

I don't even really think it's about what others think but more that I just would not feel comfortable myself walking around in what I own. In the summer (last summer I was 40 pounds lighter) I like to wear tank tops and shorts but that cellulite attacked my thighs and all the walking I do doesn't seem to help =\

 

Any suggestions on any kind of fashion? I've seen cute maxi dresses but beyond that would never help. It being winter here I'm able to wear stockings with my dresses but I already no on a cruise I like to wear the least amount of clothing I can.

 

Yet if my 8 week diet doesn't work I will re-read your post because it honestly did make me feel alot better...it's a really good way of taking it (how you say our bodies have been through a lot and only we know what we've been through). :-)

well its sort of like a weird club we belong to now that we don't want to be a part of...but thanks for the kind words! I think also thoght that having good footwear will be essential because its hard to be active in flipflops...my 8 week pre-plan is to drink lots of water, stick to the food guide and watch my portions...other than that ...to heck with it! :D

Sounds to me that your hubby adores you. Any husband that wants to whisk their wife away as a surprise, only has eyes for you. SO.....who cares about your weight loss and what anyone else thinks. You have been through enough to worry about this. In time, you will bounce back when you are ready emotionally and physically.

Go and have a wonderful, romantic week with your husband. Oh...and believe me....as you probably already know....Carnival is famous for having larger women and no one will be judging you.:o:):o

This is your vacation, enjoy it! Don't worry about what other people are wearing... Besides my thinking is..I'm on vacation and will probably never see these folks again! From how you sound, even though you may be a little heavier than you would like to be, I'm sure you are still a nice dresser! Enjoy your vacation!!

I'm in a very similar situation as you, minus the child and miscarriage, but plus a different very life-changing stressful situation, that also caused me to become an emotional overeater.

I too, am 25, and 40+ lbs heavier than I was a year and a half ago. I was always the skinny girl, and being overweight for the first time in my life has been very difficult. I have a favorite pair of jeans that I feel hide everything underneath, but I know that I won't want to wear those in the Caribbean so I'm also feeling a huge need to do something before our April cruise.

I am starting to do a home workout everyday called Jillian Michaels 30 day shred and it is just starting to work. The problem is finding the time to do it in my busy schedule. I also have exercise-induced asthma which has just been exacerbated with the weight gain, so I also have to remember to take my inhaler an hour prior to the work-out. It's worth a shot, check it out!

Also, I know strict diets are not recommended and I get why, but my Dr. has recommended Medifast for quicker weight loss or Weight Watchers for a healthier life-style change system. I've heard great things about both.

I think the sundress suggestion is a great one and I will definitely be using that for myself.

I also wanted to say how sorry I am for your miscarriage. I can't even imagine. Regardless of how your weight loss goes, go on this cruise and enjoy it, you deserve it!

Good luck and let us know how it goes:)

First off, I am so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy and it was the worst time in my life. My heart hurts whenever I hear about someone losing a baby because I know just how painful it is. *hugs*

As for the weight issues.... I am in the same boat. I am still carrying around extra baby weight (especially around my mid section) and am having difficulty losing it. My daughter just turned 5 months and we just got back from 2 weeks in Florida. It was hard finding cute outfits to wear that I felt comfortable in and didn't make me look older than I am (just turned 30). I live in the north so none of the stores had any summer out yet, so I went shopping when I got to Florida. I don't know if that is possible for you to go a day early and stop into a few stores, but if it is you will be have a much better selection. I mostly wore capris and dresses. I was really dreading bathing suit shopping but ended up finding a really cute and flattering magenta bathing suit at Target. The brand is called Assets and it control top that is young looking.

One thing that has helped me is ankle weights, I wear them around the house and on walks. It has really helped to start toning my legs and butt just by doing my normal everyday activities. I started with 1.5lbs each and then increased the weights after a month or so.

Have a wonderful cruise!

I'm 40 but have ridden the weight gain and loss roller coaster my whole life. In my mid 30's I found fitness (my bootcamp buddies got me through my divorce) and ended up in the best shape of my life. Then over the last couple of years I've been focused on a new marriage, blended family (went from one child to three) and starting and building my own business. We cruise in less than two months and are going with another family where the Mom is a fitness fanatic and is in perfect shape. I've been exercising sporadically but my eating patterns are chaotic (in the past week I've pulled two all nighters for work). *sigh*

What I can offer, with my 15 more years of life experience, is that no one will be as focused on your body as you will be. Your husband clearly adores you no matter what your size is and I'm sure he can see your commitment to healthier living. I've learned is that beauty is not defined by magazines and pop TV. In fact, what has been kind of neat for me, is that even at my most fit I was most comfortable in a size 12, I've never been thin. My husband's ex wife is VERY thin but according to him I'm a whole lot sexier!!! Not everyone is bound by pop culture perceptions so rock what you have and don't think that life will only begin once you hit your goal weight, get out of your own head and enjoy the feel of the sun and the wind and the water and live every moment!

And FINALLY, check out Torrid.com if you don't have one in your area. They offer young styled clothing that is flattering on fluffier figures. My only issue is that at 40 I have to be a bit careful about picking styles that look like I'm trying to be 16 but at 25 you'd be right at home there! I love their sizing scheme (their smallest shirts are similar to a size 12 but are called a size 0 in their store :D) and capris are a stylish and flattering compromise between jeans and shorts. I hope that helps!

As a 60 year old, yo-yo dieter, my advice is to not 'look out', but 'look in' on your cruise. Do not think about people looking at you...chances are they aren't....but look inside and make this the best vacation you'll ever have with your wonderful husband.

My husband and I are taking our 10th cruise in two weeks, to celebrate 30 years of marriage. I have been heavier, and lighter, but I know he loves me at whatever weight I am at the time. It sounds like you have a wonderful little family, and there's NOTHING anyone can say or do to take that away from you.

As far as dieting goes....I've been there, done that, for the last fifty years. Please don't do the extreme....perhaps if you really want to drop some weight, do something sensible, Weight Watchers is really great and you can do it online if it's hard to get out to meetings. I've done WW numerous times and it works....maybe set a realistic goal of losing ten pounds before you cruise. Also, know that how you approach food, will most definitely affect how your child thinks about food, too.

I have found http://www.swimsuitsforall.com to be a great resource for swimsuits. They're reasonable and cute. I go for a tank with criss-cross straps in the back for added bust support, and then buy matching swim shorts to wear over the bottom and cover up the thigh area.

I have gone to the beach in my capris and t-shirts, not wanting people to see me in a swimsuit, but at my old age decided I was so sad about not being in the water, got the suit out and am now enjoying myself instead of worrying about what strangers think.

Have a wonderful cruise. Life is waaaay to short to get bogged down in what other people may think of you. Tell your hubby you love him and give your precious kiddo a hug....that's what matters.

First i would like to thank everyone for their kind words, i truly appreciate it. Healing does come from support and it's appreciated...also thank you for all your advice <3 <3

but i think i got the actual advice i needed from many lovely ladies from previous replies and will be closing this post

i wrote many times in my replies that this post was about my ((( personal )))) feeling and ****** not ********** having to do anything with what others think about my body....so while i appreciate the advice ....it's not needed !!!! ***********because i do not feel comfortable in shorts because of how i feel....i don't care how others perceive me =d ( sorry if i wasn't clear about that the first time ladies but i did re-write that fact plenty of times hehe so please no more replies on how i "shouldnt care what others say" because i don't =d

also thank you to the women who understood my post....gave me their stories and have answered my questions since that's the advice i was looking for and i love you all for that

i will definitely look into sun dresses and long paper thin skirts...and i thank everyone who answered my fashion question......thank you ladies who also gave me your story about how you felt going through body changes and how you felt on the cruise...as that was another question of mine.....also ****** i know it's not healthy**** so again takes for the info. But i already know that healthy dieting is the way to go.....if u reread what i wrote , i have already been on a *healthy diet* and *plan on going back on it* after the cruise, =) but i ******personally choose to go on a "crazy diet" for the next 8 weeks and although as i said i'm aware it's not healthy ...it's not going to go on forever but i asked for advice about ppl who did as i plan to due for a few weeks and if they may give me any kind of advice like the lady who said to use coconut spread instead of butter and i thank you for that *******

i don't mean to come off rude in anyway especially towards the women who've helped me out a lot =) it just that it does become fustrating when others like to give blind advice and make assumptions without reading carefully. =(.[/color][/color]

With 8 weeks to go the best thing you can do is continue your daily two mile walks. Google the most effective walking method to tone and lose weight (stand up straight, suck in abs etc) and consider carrying light hand weights on your walk. The person who suggested wearing ankle weights around the house had a good suggestion.

Are you able to up the level of intensity of your exercise? Maybe add some strength training or additional walking? The 30 Day Shred dvd is good ~ and the workout is only 20 minutes. With warm-up and cool-down approx 30 minutes.

Food wise, drink lots of water (I think you mentioned you are doing this) and eat lots of fresh veggies and fruits and ZERO processed foods. Or as minimal as your lifestyle allows. If you cut 500 calories a day from what your body needs you can lose 8 pounds. 1,000 calories 16 lbs. Either of those would be great and you will feel so much better.

And I get what you are saying about it doesn't matter what other people think, its what YOU think. Make the effort and you can do it :)