Why we don't go on "all gay cruises" anymore

[roen]

This was an interesting thread to read through, and I think it is a great resource for newbies looking for some opinions, so I'll add mine in.

 

Background:

I've done three regular cruises with my family (one of which I brought my partner along on) and one Atlantis cruise (the 2010 Caribbean) (also brought my partner).

 

I'm 30ish, he's 40ish - I'm more outgoing and love dancing, he's more a beer/comic book/chill kind of guy. Neither one of us "party" at all (I don't even drink), and we're also not in a free-for-all open relationship. I'm also very snuggly - lots of hugs and kisses :).

 

I'm out everywhere at home - work/family/friends; he's out everywhere but work. We live in Detroit, which isn't super-gay (i.e. it certainly isn't San Fran), but also isn't oppressive or scary. We have a pride fest, and gay bars, and so on.

 

I love to be on the ocean, which is the main reason I love cruising, and he likes ships and tranquility, which is why he likes it.

 

My Gay Charter vs. Straight Cruise Opinion:

 

I LOVED the charter (Atlantis). I agree with whoever said it feels like gay camp - there's a joy and a warmth that suffuses the entire experience. I loved cuddling on lounge chairs with my partner, snuggling and watching sunsets, eating together without feeling awkward... I'm not a shy or tense person, but it was amazing how comfortable the environment is by comparison to day-to-day life in the "straight" world. Obviously your mileage will vary.

 

I wasn't necessarily uncomfortable on the regular cruises - it was more like a regular day in the real world; a little bit guarded, but no major tension. I didn't experience any hostility or even rudeness, and chatted with lots of straight people & crew. But it was nothing like the calm joy that happened on the gay charter. Maybe this would be less noticeable if you live in a really gay or progressive area - not sure. To us, though, it made a massive difference.

 

Also, regarding the crowd, floating bathhouses, party boys, circuit queens, and all the other labels you can slap on, I didn't encounter any of that. There were older guys, younger guys, hot guys, average guys, friendly guys, cranky guys - the whole gamut. And people watching and random conversations were probably my favorite activities. Sex was there in the sauna and in the darkest part of the front of the ship late at night, but that's it. I didn't see ANYTHING on board anywhere else that was anywhere near the inappropriate things I saw on the straight cruises (gag). And flirting was obviously there too, but it was all harmless, and very warm.

 

We didn't hit a lot of the shows (I like to be outside, being from snowy Detroit - sunshine/fresh air is at a premium), and even STILL I thought it was amazingly worth the price over a regular cruise - the feeling was that wonderful.

 

For 2012 we'll be trying out RSVP for two reasons - 1, the music wasn't my taste on Atlantis - I didn't dance much b/c it was pretty circuity, and 2, the Royal Caribbean "ships" are huge floating malls - yuck. No interaction with the ocean anywhere.

 

I don't really feel like you get to experience destinations by cruising to them, so I don't plan cruises around ports - it's too rushed and touristy. So I can see regular cruises being more appealing to those who like to spend time off of the ship.

 

We were both really depressed for a couple weeks after we got back, because we missed the environment that much. It really is something special compared to a trip on a traditional cruise, but, like anything, depends a lot on how your attitude is and what your tastes run to. I wouldn't do another cruise on a regular cruise line, though, unless it was a big family vacation. The two trips were absolute worlds apart for me.

[jamessemaj]

This is one of the most interesting threads I have read here.

 

My take is this. No, I would never go on a gay cruise, even if the price weren't way above what a mainstream cruise is. To me, that is accepting, and sitting on the back of the bus. I want to be a part of mainstream society, not a dark corner. As I somebody mentioned earlier, gay cruises are cheap; I avoid the whorehouse analogy.

 

I would be much more out of place and my comfort zone on a gay cruise than a mainstream one. I also don't go to gay bars or cruise gay zones. Those who like it, I would support your freedom to do so, but to me it is cheap. More than that, as I said earlier, I want to be an accepted person in the mainstream society. Gay cruises are not conducive to that end.

[Boytjie]

This is one of the most interesting threads I have read here.

 

My take is this. No, I would never go on a gay cruise, even if the price weren't way above what a mainstream cruise is. To me, that is accepting, and sitting on the back of the bus. I want to be a part of mainstream society, not a dark corner. As I somebody mentioned earlier, gay cruises are cheap; I avoid the whorehouse analogy.

 

I would be much more out of place and my comfort zone on a gay cruise than a mainstream one. I also don't go to gay bars or cruise gay zones. Those who like it, I would support your freedom to do so, but to me it is cheap. More than that, as I said earlier, I want to be an accepted person in the mainstream society. Gay cruises are not conducive to that end.

 

I am part of mainstream society, out and proud and accepted for the most part (and don't really care to much about those that don't). And I love gay cruises! To each his own. I just don't get the "cheap" slam. :confused:

[Darrell6t]

My take is this. No, I would never go on a gay cruise, even if the price weren't way above what a mainstream cruise is. To me, that is accepting, and sitting on the back of the bus. I want to be a part of mainstream society, not a dark corner. As I somebody mentioned earlier, gay cruises are cheap; I avoid the whorehouse analogy.

 

WOW! With your attitude I am glad you aren't on my all-gay cruise. Calling an all-gay cruise a "dark corner" is so weird. They are a whole rainbow of fun. Even some colors not seen in the usual rainbow. The exact opposite of a "dark corner". And we don't go to strange lands over the rainbow, we go to the same places as so-called "mainstream society". We just take a different way of seeing things and it makes the world brighter. Gay cruises are not cheap, and they are worth every penny. Sorry you can't appreciate that.

[jamessemaj]

I didn't mean to cause a stir. In my cups, I used some intemperate language, "cheap", and "dark corner". Sorry for that. My point is that there is a wide spectrum out there. Those who want to pay extra for an exclusive gay crowd I support fully.

 

I should have just said that I agree with the OP and left it at that. Forgive me.

[furb]

Perhaps you should either do less flirting, or find a boyfriend who's into open relationships.

Or find a boyfriend who isn't an insecure child? No open relationship needed, then. Edited April 12, 2011 by furb

[keithm]

Or find a boyfriend who isn't an insecure child? No open relationship needed, then.

I've had friends/others being "flirty" with my partner to the point I've had to tell them to knock it off,as everyone's noticing. Insecurity has nothing to do with it. Proper behavior in mixed company is what it's about. My partner is a very hot Asian guy, and it's a bother when people who don't even know us, are all over him, like "Oprah on a baked ham".

[furb]

Proper behavior in mixed company is what it's about.

Now *there* is a dying art. ;)

[keithm]

Now *there* is a dying art. ;)

Flirting to me is a "cute" look, wink,etc. It's when people get too "touchy feely" that I get annoyed. We actually had a guy come up to us,hit on my partner & ask him if he cheats! My God, I was right there. Totally amazing behavior. I kind of think the flirter in the post further back does more than just the cute wink, etc. He sounds like the type who can really get out of control, especially if a few drinks loosened him up even more.

[johhnnyt]

Having tried all gay charters (Atlantis, RSVP), Gay Group (Pied Piper), and STR8 conventional cruises they all have advantages and disadvantages.

The advantage of the gay charters I think is you feel you're in a whole new world, and the blinders come off. Its geared toward singles. I guess as someone said the disadvantage of the all gay cruises were the price, and the letdown after coming back. It was a lot of fun but it wasn't reality, and then you do have to return to reality. As a recovering member of AA (15 years), the constant alcohol and drug use was a big turnoff.

The gay charters I like, as the price is right, they do some great get togethers, and you generally find someone from the group around the ship. If you're single, downside to them is they are mostly couples, On almost every one I've seen a positive change made to other passengers perceptions of gay people. Downside to them is a small turnout (30-80 people), and the hosts can generally make or break the experience.

Str8 cruises are a whole different game. So much it seems is up to the Hotel Director/Cruise Director onboard. They can either be involved or non-existent. Have been on STR8 cruises where they had organized involved FOD meetings, and others when the meetings where they were like speak easy's where unless you specifically hunted them down, you would never find them

[lonstermonster11]

But they sell out very early and the prices are jacked up.

[Boytjie]

But they sell out very early and the prices are jacked up.

 

Supply and demand... I guess enough of us are willing to pay those prices. ;)

[RickIronton]

We just booked a TA from Barcelona to Miami on 11-2012.

We love the diversity of an open ship.

The daily get togethers with GLBT is more than enough for the gay crowd.

Both type of cruises have their advantage but the cost is our final decision maker.

Rick

[tiffy0428]

My wife and I of 10 years ( we have 3 kids) we love the "straight" cruises. Although I've never been on a gay cruise I tend to like the variety of mixed crowds . As a lesbian I find that I have better conversation with woman in the straight scene idk maybe it just me.

[kuLik]

This is an interesting thread. I am doing research for a customer couple of mine who is gay and that's how I ended here up.

 

Now, I am straight but I do have a curiosity question:

I am reading that some of you are hesitating to act as couple when on a regular cruise. Why though?

 

I think society is more accepting of gay couples then you all think. And I think it is your right to act as a couple.

 

I remember a cruise when a couple of guys were trying to take pictures of themselves. You know - hold the camera with one hand, stick heads together and click.

 

When I see people doing that I usually offer to take pictures. I of course offered for those two to take a picture as well.

 

Here they were standing at the railing like two friends. I asked them if they are just friends or more. The answer was "we are a couple'. So I asked them to stand like a couple. It took about 5 Minutes to have them finally stand at the railing, arm in arm, as a couple. I took the picture (and many more), and they thanked me and walked away giggling.

 

Afterwards the people around us said to me that was very nice of me and that those two now have a wonderful memory of the cruise. But that is not the actual story.

 

That night I saw them in the night club. They came over to me and thanked me again. To my reply 'no problem' and 'any time' one of the two looked at me with tears in his eyes and said: you know these are the only real pictures we have of us on the ship - showing us as a couple.

 

It was the last night of a 7 Night cruise. It made me sad.

 

On my last cruise on the Monarch in September there were a lot of gay couples and they had no fear showing their love for one another.

 

On my Epic trans-atlantic last June: a lot of gay couples as well. They danced together the night away at the Bliss Lounge and had no problems to show who they are and who they belonged to.

 

What I am saying is: don't ever cut yourself and your partner short. Be who you are and take your loved one and hug him/her whenever you feel like.

 

I needed to get rid of that. :)

 

Now back to subject: as I said I am doing research. What is it specifically that some of you prevent of going on a gay cruise?

 

interested read. thanks for taking the time to post it. taking a few moments to reflect on our inaugural cruise earlier this year, i realized we really had no pictures showing us as a couple either. this actually makes me sad. i will certainly consider this when my partner and i take our second cruise coming up this January.

 

we've considered now twice taking a gay cruise but have once again decided against it. neither of us are really into the 'scene' which really means we're not into going out to bars drinking till 3am or the drag shows that seem to be over the top and did i mention cost?!? it's likely something we will want to at least try once, but my guess is that we'll continue to do the regular cruises.

 

also, gays, particular younger gays, tend to be more interested in appearances than anything else. so i'd prefer not spend an inordinate amount of time at the gym over the next six months just to impress people that that i'll likely never see again.

[Darrell6t]

"i'd prefer not spend an inordinate amount of time at the gym over the next six months just to impress people that that i'll likely never see again."

 

Why would you do that? Who would you want to impress? Just be yourself, which is so easy on an all-gay cruise.

[ORDPLATAA]

We are leaving on our third Atlantis trip this October (doing the Mexican Riviera). Our previous two experiences with Atlantis (Alaska and the Baltics) were great - especially since we did not: stay up partying until 3am; partake in any "chemical" enhancers; sleep around with every other guy on the ship....all of the things folks think you have to do on an Atlantis charter. Instead, we met folks that we count as dear friends, had incredible conversations with couples who have been together for 15-20 and even 40 years (and we thought we were an old married couple at 10 years). Yes, we do Drag Bingo and Dixie's Tupperware party - we find them amusing. We enjoyed cocktail hour with our new friends, leisurely dinners where we laughed and shared stories of our lives. We would probably do more Atlantis trips but the timing of their trips can be a challenge.

 

I realize that there are downsides to the charters - I won't go near the steamroom/sauna complex (ick) but on my recent Celebrity Eclipse crossing in April there was plenty of guys partaking of "activities" in the sauna (both gay and straight guys) so it is not just an Atlantis/RSVP thing. As far as drinking goes, you should have seen the folks that bought the premium beverage packages that were sucking them down as fast as they could so that they could "get their monies worth" on the crossing. And true, prices are higher than what you can find on a scheduled sailing. Please keep in mind that the chartering company takes all of the risk to fill the ship and they have to price it to break even factoring in the chance they don't sell out and they also have to bring in talent, decor, etc..

 

So, I will turn my rant <off> ;). I think that charters/gay groups and scheduled sailings all have their +'s/-'s. It really is what works for you.

[Darrell6t]

An excellent summary of the Atlantis experience from the perspective of someone who has actually done a couple. My partner & I (40 years) feel much the same way about the all-gay charters.

 

Both the European and the Alaska cruises attract a somewhat more mature crowd than the January and the Mexican Atlantis cruises, so be prepared for that.

[ORDPLATAA]

An excellent summary of the Atlantis experience from the perspective of someone who has actually done a couple. My partner & I (40 years) feel much the same way about the all-gay charters.

 

Both the European and the Alaska cruises attract a somewhat more mature crowd than the January and the Mexican Atlantis cruises, so be prepared for that.

 

Totally understand that the October cruise will certainly be a more party-centric crowd. How will we enjoy it - not sure but willing to give it a try and form my own opinion. Crystal has a great Mexican Riviera itinerary post Thanksgiving that would cost less, have an overnight in Cabo + a $500pp onboard credit. Of course, the flipside is a much older demographic (we are in our late 40's) and a much more formal experience (formal nights aboard, etc.). So, this is a great case of what do you value in a vacation and what choices are you will to make/compromise.

[Okiguy]

You might enjoy this story. On a Princess cruise a few years ago, a fairly large group of gay guys (about 30 or 40 as I remember) were also on the cruise. We woud see them travelling together around the ship during the cruise. It looked like they may have all travelled together before. My wife and I went up to the top lounge one night where they had a dance floor. The group was also there, dancing and having a good time. Another straight couple maybe in their late 60s came in and sat down at a nearby table. The wife decided she wanted to dance and they went to the dance floor. In just a few minutes they were back at their table and we could hear the woman say "There aren't any women on the dance floor!". My wife and I just about died laughing..

 

On a fall cruise this year, we have enough gays in the group that they have started their own roll call and welcomed the straight folks to join their roll call. It has been great seeing their perspective on life and both boards are now very busy with cruise discussions with no signs of any discrimination.

[Complextlt]

Hmm. Interesting thread. Never been on a gay cruise. My partner and I have been talking about it and she really wants to. I wouldn't mind, but I'm pretty happy with straight cruising, too.

 

We don't have any problem holding hands or being a couple on a straight cruise. In fact, we just got off the Elation last week and we were the first couple (besides children) on the dance floor at the Captain's party. It seemed to break the ice for others to get out there.

 

Someone commented they'd like to do the straight cruise because there's (in so many words) too much to do on a gay cruise. I must say... I was WORN SLAP OUT from all the activities on the straight cruise. I felt myself wishing they had scheduled a "quiet time" where everyone had to take a nap, LOL!!:) Happy cruising!

[Cruiser Bruiser]

I just took my first straight cruise in May with my mom for her 70th birthday. NCL was awesome, and I had so much fun I put a deposit down on another NCL cruise. There were FOD/LGBT events every night, and I had no problems making friends with "people like me" as a single guy. There were about 25 of us who came to the events (mostly guys, but two gals who came for the free bowling in the Bliss Ultra Lounge). Julie the cruise director and all the other NCL crew were great. The straight cruise was fun.

 

However, my first two cruises were RSVP charters (HAL Westerdam to Alaska and NCL Pride of America to Hawaii). Both were more FUN than I ever imagined. Exactly as others have said, the opposite of dark and creepy. Everyone had a joyous, hilarious time. No public sex. No sloppy drunks. Both cruises were mostly down-to-earth, no-drama guys in their 30s to 60s and up. The crew had as much FUN (or more FUN) than the passengers. That last day of the Hawaii cruise on the Napali coast (as mentioned earlier) was marked by a rainbow, and also lots of teary-eyed crew who didn't want the gay cruise to end. That said it all.

 

Me and my friends are pretty conservative, and we're all in our 40s, 50s and 60s. We all equally enjoyed both RSVP cruises. RSVP has a pretty conservative reputation--especially compared with Atlantis--and most folks are really friendly and outgoing. Two of my friends (a couple) went to all the dance parties. I was in bed each night by 10pm and didn't even know the parties happened. We all had the best vacations of your lives.

 

As others have said, gay cruise or straight cruise, it's all up to you how much fun you have.

[pisces1948]

Hi, just read your post and thought it wad great. Now to answer your question: for me, it is the 'gay tax' or the extra cost of an all gay cruise. For my partner, it is just too much gayness. We love our friends and family and love cruising with them

[cruiseerf]

Have cruised lots and have met gay and straight people on all cruises. Some I have clicked with and some not. I have ALWAYS found the cruise lines to be open and friendly, all of them. I have had special experiences, like a special dinner under the stars for 10 of us on Seabourne and dinner with the Captain on an X ship in his private dining type room with a group of us who had all met onboard. I even sailed once a few years ago with Cheryl Lad....and she did still look beautiful and young celebrating her anniversary with her husband. At no time have I ever felt uncomfortable or discriminated against.

 

I can see the allure of being in an all gay environment, like a giant pride parade, I get that. For me it would depend on what I want to get out of a cruise....if I want Quiet, I go to Silversea, or Crystal....If I want a little more "fun" I might take a Royal Caribbean for a little good people watching and nice suites. If I want ports I look for whoever is going where I want to visit. The only cruiseline that was not my favourite was NCL. If I wanted to sail in a pride parade...or NOT as many people point out is more then possible on the gay cruises, then I guess I would try one out.

 

Lastly, part of me enjoys being in the minority onboard a cruise ship. I am not in love with any environment that is all one group or the other and I enjoy the diversity that cruiseships bring. Gay or straight, I say, pick the cruise that has what you are looking for.

 

Happy sails to all!

[nolanday]

My friends and I live in a small midwestern city, and despite all the advances through the years, there's still the feeling in the back of my mind that any stranger on the street might be violent when encountering an openly gay person. I know it's unlikely, but it's always possible, and it colors every interaction to some extent. Sad, but true. I hate to think the worst about people, but we've all seen enough on the news and been the brunt of enough verbal or physical harassment to know that in many places it's still a fact of life.

 

I've been on several gay cruises, and one "straight" cruise, and for me, I have to say that I only felt truly relaxed on the gay cruises. That's the only time I really felt like I could let my guard down ... and that, to me, is what a vacation is all about. I didn't encounter anything bad on the straight cruise, but that's not the point for me ... the point was that you never were quite sure whether the next stranger you talked to would be pleasant and welcoming or hateful and abusive. Sure, I could brush it off if that happened, but when I'm on vacation I'd just prefer not to have to deal with the possibility.

 

Jim