Our Cruise on Snake in the Grass,ah, Splendor in the Grass, no, Splendour of the Seas

[SailorJack]

I would buy a Sailor Jack book in a heartbeat!

 

I, too, have laughed so hard that tears were streaming down my face. Family have come running from the other room wondering what was 'wrong'. They soon understood once they, too, had read Jack's reviews:D

 

I can read them over and over again and they continue to give me the same reaction!

 

No book in the offing, but perhaps another review in November.:D Glad you found the review amusing. Thanks for the kind words.

 

I think I have read most everything he has ever written. If u are not Dave Barry' date=' you must have been twins separated at birth. I love your cruise tales and the references to SailorJill are priceless. You should write a book, but please keep writing reviews. I have read them all and laughed until I have cried. I even sent the link to my sister for her to read. Thank you for taking the time to entertain and inform us on the Cruise Critic forum.[/quote']

 

Actually, the time I take to write the reviews is therapy. I have to visit my therapist a lot less since I started writing.:D

 

 

 

Totally entertaining, wonderful, and a great way to begin a day. An exceptional writer. When I read a great book/article I love reading about the author...kinda gives depth to the read. Well, of course, I began to wonder who SailorJack is and where does he use his talent? He writes on the same line as Craig Wilson/USA Today, or as a former script writer for Seinfeld, Fraiser, Cheers, etc. Or perhaps he is the writer/organizer for The Vent on the Atlanta Journal-Constitution ( I have 3 sons/families living in Atlanta). Or perhaps he is just a gifted writer who uses his gift for the delight of his readers. So, SailorJack, continue to enhance us with your delightful, funny, yet informative tales of your travels with SailorJill and perhaps one day some of us will have the joy of traveling with you.

 

I will look forward to sailing with you! Just a note: I actually have had some comments published in the Vent - back when the comments were more humorous and less political.

 

Take care

 

Jack

[Julia’s Journey’s]

Thanks for the great review, I am going back to read your others and looking forward to your November one when I get back from my cruise in November - pity we are not on the same princess ship :)

[SailorJack]

Thanks for the great review, I am going back to read your others and looking forward to your November one when I get back from my cruise in November - pity we are not on the same princess ship :)

 

Well, it seems most of my cruises now are on Princess...we may sail together on a future date.:)

 

Jack

[Julia’s Journey’s]

Well, it seems most of my cruises now are on Princess...we may sail together on a future date.:)

 

Jack

 

I'll keep my eye out for a pale blue princess shirt with pink trim on all future Princess cruises - hmm, were you at my neighborhood pool on Monday:D

 

Where in ATL are you?

[SailorJack]

I'll keep my eye out for a pale blue princess shirt with pink trim on all future Princess cruises - hmm, were you at my neighborhood pool on Monday:D

 

Where in ATL are you?

 

You read my Princess review.:D I have buried that shirt in the back of my closet!:D

 

We are in Milton (used to be part of Alpharetta) just off of 400. You?

[Julia’s Journey’s]

You read my Princess review.:D I have buried that shirt in the back of my closet!:D

 

We are in Milton (used to be part of Alpharetta) just off of 400. You?

 

Yes, I read the review, hoping they still have those shirts onboard to get one for Aubrey:D Maybe at the end of cruise sale they will have the crate of them cause I imagine they only sold one all these years and desperate to get rid of the others:eek:

 

We are in Sandy Springs, exit 6 off the 400, small world but a hot one this weekend in Hotlanta:)

[Planmaam]

OMG, sailorjack, what an entertaining review! Must read the rest. I am posting here to be sure to have the check mark in this post so I can refer my sisters to your review. Just spent an hour searching for this again after reading it on Thursday!

 

Everyone says you should write a book, but I think you already have. Just compile your reviews into a book, and I bet it could get published!

 

Sail on!

[05mak05]

Yet another fabulous review and wonderful pictures! I'm also posting so that I can read every last word of this review. I don't want to miss one thing ...

[Teaschertz]

Joining the fan club too. Loved your review. Thank you!

[SailorJack]

Yet another fabulous review and wonderful pictures! I'm also posting so that I can read every last word of this review. I don't want to miss one thing ...

 

Glad you enjoyed it.:) I finally got some more pictures of Ephesus loaded so I will post them this morning.

 

OMG' date=' sailorjack, what an entertaining review! Must read the rest. I am posting here to be sure to have the check mark in this post so I can refer my sisters to your review. Just spent an hour searching for this again after reading it on Thursday!

 

Everyone says you should write a book, but I think you already have. Just compile your reviews into a book, and I bet it could get published!

 

Sail on![/quote']

 

A book just sounds like way to much work!:D But thanks for the thought.:)

 

Joining the fan club too. Loved your review. Thank you!

 

Glad you liked it. Links to my other reviews are in my signature (in case you have signatures turned off.)

[Fran Harp]

I'm getting fired, and it's all SailorJack's fault. His review made me laugh so loudly that my supervisor came over and found out I was reading it instead of working....

 

Hats off to you, SailorJack! Another wonderful review! I'm hoping we end up on the same ship one day, and if we do, I will buy a bottle of champagne to share with you and the lovely SailorJill!

 

RP, get your supervisor to read it.....the line that also got me was about Sailor Jill being worth more than 12 goats....loved this review. Thanks, Sailor Jack!

 

Fran in Corner Brook

[BonTXNY]

This is the first time I stumbled upon one of SailorJack's reviews. I thought the goat trade for SailorJill was funny but THIS one made my husband call out from another room asking... "you're in there alone,what is so damn funny"? LOL

 

Now that I know where to go I will be reading all of your reviews. Funny stuff!

 

as his little sign said, “Ride my Ass – 5 Euros.”

 

[SailorJack]

More pictures from Ephesus

 

This is one of the public toiletes. As they are outdoors and it sometimes gets cold in Ephesus, citizens would have their servants go sit on the stone to warm the seat up for them when they needed to use the facility. Not shown in the picture is the raised platform for the musicians. The music was not for entertainment, but to cover and distract from the noise made by 48 people sitting on the toilet.

 

 

This is a mosaic walkway along side the shops. Even today the artwork involved is pretty amazing. Those are the terrace houses on the upper left.

 

This imposing structure is the Library of Ephesus...at the time the third largest library in the world. During the excavation of the library an underground tunnel was found that led to a house across the street that could have been a "house of ill-repute." It is thought that the men would tell their wives that they were going to the library and that they would then use the secret tunnel to visit the house across the street.

 

 

Two more shots of the library.

 

 

 

This was the main amplitheatre for Ephesus. This is where the Apostle Paul was to address the Ephesians and urge them to turn away from idols and adopt Christianity. However, there was quite a little industry in Ephesus making statues of the goddess Artemis - an industry that would cease to exist if people turned away from the goddess - so the silversmiths created a riot prior to Paul's speech and Paul had to flee Ephesus. He then set his speech to writing and sent them as a letter to the Ephesians. These letters form the Book of Ephesians in the Bible.

 

[05mak05]

And, just when I think it can't get any funnier than some of your past reviews ... I read the following ... and just crack up!

This is one of the public toiletes. As they are outdoors and it sometimes gets cold in Ephesus, citizens would have their servants go sit on the stone to warm the seat up for them when they needed to use the facility. Not shown in the picture is the raised platform for the musicians. The music was not for entertainment, but to cover and distract from the noise made by 48 people sitting on the toilet.

[ILuvToTravel]

Sailor Jack,

My husband and I laughed out loud while reading your wonderful review of your recent cruise. We will be on the same cruise next month and would love to hear anything else you have to tell us about the ship and any helpful tips you might have for us. Would you mind telling us a couple of things you would do again if you could and maybe a couple of things that you would not do again. Just as an aside we have two daughters going with us (Amy and Katie) and we are leaving Lexi, our Lexus in the garage:)

[SailorJack]

Sailor Jack,

My husband and I laughed out loud while reading your wonderful review of your recent cruise. We will be on the same cruise next month and would love to hear anything else you have to tell us about the ship and any helpful tips you might have for us. Would you mind telling us a couple of things you would do again if you could and maybe a couple of things that you would not do again. Just as an aside we have two daughters going with us (Amy and Katie) and we are leaving Lexi, our Lexus in the garage:)

 

The ship is showing a little bit of its age, but is in good shape. I think it is due to go into dry dock for reburbishment later this year.

 

A couple of thoughts:

 

1. The tender service into Kotor was problematic. we heard that people with high number tender tickets did not get off the ship until well after lunch. Make sure you get in line early if you want to get off the ship at a reasonable time. (All other port tender services were handled by the ports and went very quickly).

2. The ancient city of Kotor is very small. You could see the whole town in an hour or so. While we loved the town, if we had it to do over we would take a tour and then see the town after the tour.

3. In Santorini take the bus to Oia as early as possible to avoid the huge crowds once the tour busses get there. When we were in Santorini there were five cruise ships. Figure an average of 2,000 people going ashore per ship and that meant that there were 10,000 people who wanted to see the little town of Oia. Visit Oia first and then come back to see Fira - which is the town the cable car empties into. Bear in mind that those 10,000 people want to get back to their ship - so the lines for the cable cars can get quite long late in the afternoon. The cable car can only handle 1,200 people an hour.

4. Mykonos is also rather small (but much larger than Kotor). Right where the tender drops you off there is a booth that sells excursions to Delos - for about 17 Euros (plus the entrance fee to Delos). You have time to see both the town and take the tour to Delos if you are so inclined. We did not take the tour to Delos and will have to do it if we go back again.

5. Take an umbrella. We did not and it rained in Kotor. It started when we were on the tender and many people did not even get off the tender but took it right back to the ship. However, it only rained for about 15 minutes and was not a problem. We were told that it is not unusual to have brief rains like that throughout the year. The weather was perfect in all the other ports.

6. In Split, most stores would not take Euros or Dollars. When we tried to make our first purchase the clerk refused our Euros and told us where we could find a currency exchange place. If you are walking off the ship there is a currency exchange location just before you get to the old city.

7. In the two days before the ship left Venice the lines to get into St. Mark's Basillica and the Doge's palace were well over an hour. Rather than fly home the day the ship docked we stayed over a night. With everybody else heading to the airport, the lines were less than 5 minutes. So be prepared for large crowds around St. Mark square - especially later in the day.

8. Take a gondola ride! It is expensive, but you have the rest of your life to pay for it.:)

 

Enjoy the cruise - it is truely an amazing itinerary and you are going to have a great time!

 

Jack

 

 

And, just when I think it can't get any funnier than some of your past reviews ... I read the following ... and just crack up!

This is one of the public toiletes. As they are outdoors and it sometimes gets cold in Ephesus, citizens would have their servants go sit on the stone to warm the seat up for them when they needed to use the facility. Not shown in the picture is the raised platform for the musicians. The music was not for entertainment, but to cover and distract from the noise made by 48 people sitting on the toilet.

 

I didn't make that up! The toilet served as sort of a social meeting place and could hold up to 48 patrons at a time. :)

Edited June 6, 2011 by SailorJack

[SailorJack]

To visit Ephesus, you enter the city at the top and exit at the bottom. But before you leave, there is a pagent that recreates Cleopatra and Mark Antony's visit to Ephesus in 41 B.C.

 

There were Trumpeters.

 

 

There were Dancing Girls.

 

 

There were Gladiators.

 

 

Their were Artisans. (This one working on a, ah, marble bust.)

 

 

And there was Cleopatra and Mark Antony.

 

Nexty up, Bodrum.

[Havana Daydreamin]

Their were Artisans. (This one working on a, ah, marble bust.)

 

 

I love your delicate way of speaking!:rolleyes::D

[dal_diva]

Jack,

 

Loved the review, you have a way with words and very easily paint a mental picture. I can almost see you haggling over goats!!!!

 

d

[SailorJack]

Jack,

 

Loved the review, you have a way with words and very easily paint a mental picture. I can almost see you haggling over goats!!!!

 

d

 

ACCK! Don't mention the goats...Jill also looks at this string.:D

Edited June 8, 2011 by SailorJack

[SailorJack]

This is the entrance to Bodrum. This was the first time the Splendour had visited this port...but it certainly will not be the last. This was one very beautiful town.

 

 

The Splendour docked next to the USS Stout - a guided missle destroyer. We were surprised to see a US naval ship in a small Turkish port. According to our waiter, it had been here for a week.

 

 

This is the Bodrum Castle - one of the main attractions in Bodrum. Construction began in 1402 by the Knights of Hospitaller and was constructed as a defense against the Seljuk Turks.

 

This is the French Tower inside the Castle. The Turkish government has turned the Castle into the Museum of Underwater Archaeology - the largest of its kind in the world.

[jerseyt719]

This review was too much! I loved it.

 

The goats got me. I could see my dh trying to sell me off too, but I think he would actually mean it.....

 

Thanks for a wonderfully entertaining review.

 

Tara

[SailorJack]

This review was too much! I loved it.

 

The goats got me. I could see my dh trying to sell me off too, but I think he would actually mean it.....

 

Thanks for a wonderfully entertaining review.

 

Tara

 

Thanks, but you do understand, I was NOT trying to sell her off!:D In retrospect, I probably should not have put that in my "review" as SailorJill is having way to much fun with this.:D

[truffles2]

Thanks, but you do understand, I was NOT trying to sell her off!:D In retrospect, I probably should not have put that in my "review" as SailorJill is having way to much fun with this.:D

 

 

 

baaaaa,baaaaa:p

[NeuroQueen]

OMG!!!! I haven't laughed this hard in ages! I want to cruise with you and Sailor Jill ! If you had been my history teacher I would have been in the first row every day!!! And made all A's!!! Now going to go back and read ALL of your other reviews! You are a gifted storyteller!!!!!