.......idle jottings

Ragnar Danneskjold · March 6, 2015

Ho hum is a tad confused.
Your name and details flagged up on HH's particulars....HH responded and sent what he thought was an acknowledgement of a "Friend Request" but it ended up HH making a "Friend Request" to you !

A dialogue of any kind, public or private may be interesting but sadly HH has more concerns especially about shoreside management and Reservations department in particular but let's give it a go.

Sea Dream need to communicate much better....

Oh by the way, ho hum "steps down" on the anniversary of ".,,,,idle jottings" (7 March, 2015)

Only one more day :(

*UPDATE*

Stop the presses, a ray of hope has been found!

"And not forgetting HH is likely to desist his idle jottings (or cut down) on the first anniversary of this thread start (7th March, 2014, 02.01 AM).

Some sanity"

"

Edited March 6, 2015 by Ragnar Danneskjold

Jim Avery · March 6, 2015

Only one more day :(

*UPDATE*

Stop the presses, a ray of hope has been found!

"And not forgetting HH is likely to desist his idle jottings (or cut down) on the first anniversary of this thread start (7th March, 2014, 02.01 AM).

Some sanity"

"

What will we do, Sundance?? I guess we always have the Range. You bring some of that exotic beer (wine drinkers would consider that an oxymoron) and I will bring the ammo. :eek::D:D

Ragnar Danneskjold · March 6, 2015

It will take a lot if IPA to offset the loss of ij...

Ol' Ragnar drowning his sorrows with chums at the Anthill Tavern at UC Irvine today. (Ragnar not in photo) We sucked down five pitchers of various IPAs...

Edited March 6, 2015 by Ragnar Danneskjold

Jim Avery · March 6, 2015

It will take a lot if IPA to offset the loss of ij...

Ol' Ragnar drowning his sorrows with chums at the Anthill Tavern at UC Irvine today. (Ragnar not in photo) We sucked down five pitchers of various IPAs...

That explains why Ol' Ragnar not in picture. Ragnar on floor.:eek: Looks like a nice pub.:D

ho-hum · March 7, 2015

...

PS - hohum, are you preparing the swan song for Idle Jottings?

RAGGY.................................................................

....?............l..........................................................

....?............l..............................................BOOO !

Ragnar Danneskjold · March 7, 2015

The morn shall reveal whether the great man has withdrawn to pursue other endevors.

Sleep will come hard for CC members.

ho-hum · March 7, 2015

Ho hum boards today on SDII for the following itinerary:

Marigot, Saint Martin, F.W.I.

Gustavia, St. Barts, F.W.I.

Montserrat

Isles des Saintes, Guadeloupe, F.W.I.

Portsmouth, Dominica

Saba, Netherlands Antilles

South Friars Bay, St. Kitts, St. Kitts & Nevis

Coconut Grove, Nevis, St. Kitts, St. Kitts & Nevis

Marigot, Saint Martin, F.W.I.Morning

More details of trip on this link:

http://www.seadream.com/voyages/21511

....and the gout is back !

Just in time for the new voyage.....bah !

It will be hell travelling for the albeit short trip by air: up, down, arrive 5 minutes later.

Clamber up gangway.......then retire to cabin until drill.

HH's companions on the isle (St.Barts) are very, very, very boorishly advising it is caused by too much champagne !

For they read it on the internet !

And suddenly they have become a mixture of experts and moral judges on any perceived excess.

The "oh holier than thou's", smug in their rude health believe it a sign of God and shake their head at the wayward and debauched Hum !

They have persuaded Hum to avoid alcohol until it passes......this is going to be fun !

Jim Avery · March 7, 2015

Happy Anniversary of Idle Jottings Ho-Hum. Well done. The next milestone is 100,000 views. Should be in April. Bon Voyage as well.

PS: Drink a gallon of water a day to help clear out the ole gouty. Yes, you will spend an inordinate amount of time in the 'Loo but it will surely help rid you of the evil demons.

Edited March 7, 2015 by Jim Avery

Ragnar Danneskjold · March 7, 2015

Get well soon ho-hum!

And glad you haven't abandoned us. Imagine if ....ij were to devolve to just Jim and Ragnar chatting about guns and beer :eek:

Jim Avery · March 7, 2015

Get well soon ho-hum!

And glad you haven't abandoned us. Imagine if ....ij were to devolve to just Jim and Ragnar chatting about guns and beer :eek:

Now thats a thought......We would have to mention SeaDream occasionally in order not to be pulled. Hey, you know SD has a virtual golf course on board. Wouldn't it be nice if they set up skeet shooting off the stern? They used to do that off the stern of QE2. :eek::D:D

kathyanddanny · March 7, 2015

Skeet shooting!!?

Our very first cruise with Chandris cruise lines had skeet shooting. They had Venizualan soldiers standing guard two feet behind you with guns at the ready!

In case someone went postal on the boat! Not the most relaxing cruise! :eek:

ho-hum · March 8, 2015

...

PS - hohum, are you preparing the swan song for Idle Jottings?

Howdy Sundance. I think asking Ho-Hum to give up Idle Jottings is a bit like asking Keith Richards to give up Sex, Drugs, & Rock N Roll.:eek:
..........

Well you know Ho Hum told you he would be considering cutting down on the jolly old postings on the anniversary of "......idle jottings" (7 March, 2015).

Well Ho Hum is a number freak and now it has become so close to:

- 2000 replies

- 100 pages

- 100K views

that it is tempting just for these reasons to continue until each of those targets are reached, dont you think ?

Or is it time to hang up your hat Ho Hum ?

BUT more importantly there is MORE for Ho Hum to say and wants to stay !

So the "dancing on the streets" in Michigan may have to be curtailed for just a little longer.

The invitations to Lincslady and DisneyJen will have to be withdrawn also.....,,,oh they were so looking forward to the end of Ho Hum.........,sorry ladies.

What is there left to say Ho Hum ?

Well quite an important piece actually.

An ESSENTIAL piece, as a matter of fact.

The Grand Opus of Ho Hum, if you will.

The summation of the reason for posting this long-winded, turgid drivel in the first place.

To offer an accurate critique on some of the dubious machinations of SDMS (and Owner in particular, for "all roads lead to ROME", don't they ?) which they hitherto steadfastly refused to consider by all other methods of communication.

Ho Hum began "....idle jottings" for this very reason and used the analogy of a young "gutter snipe" throwing stones at the window of the wealthy, pompous Owner in the big house to draw his attention to aggravating issues and annoy him into action to rectify them.

And surprisingly you may you think, Ho Hum would like it to be ...... well, errr FAIR & BALANCED, so it has taken a bit of time to prepare.

HH would concede that many pieces/posts by oneself have been prone to excess.

You can see that right (except Norwegians being dull....joke) ?

Of course those pea brained, facts only, single minded simpletons around the areas of the Great Lakes are simply not mentally equipped to incorporate humorous complexity into the content of some of the posts but should Ho Hum climb down the mountain and come amongst these neanderthals ?

Did it work ? Drawing SDMS's attention to the issues of concern, that is ?

No, of course not !

A complete and resounding failure !

But Ho Hum is British, our small nation is made of sterner stuff, by George !

And Ho Hum is incredibly stupid too !

And let's not forget, stubborn.

But Ho Hum has steadily and assuredly been composing a reply to a question posed by SDMS to Ho Hum to explain one of his criticisms.

Did Ho Hum finally draw blood ?

Ho Hum has many, many more (criticisms) and these will be incorporated into that reply when Ho Hum is good and ready and the time is right.

Oddly, finding the right words has escaped him and what he has drafted has prone to end in rants as the list of grievances both general and specific builds.

No, not conducive to a dialogue, HH concurs.

And just when the tone is near good enough, SDMS commit another grievous "***** up" and so the tone of vexatious complaint re-emerges.

One positive, Ho Hum can report is that the mood of communication has improved tremendously with SDMS and that is a very important criteria which Ho Hum is very glad to have arrived at and that has indeed be communicated to SDMS and by SDMS.

The people at SDMS are good, kind and honest but we must address our concerns which remain completely in tact.

Does Ho Hum believe anything will change after the opus is presented ?

No, not at all.

So why bother ?

HH asks that himself occasionally; certainly his psychiatrist finds it most baffling.

But the impulse to do so over-rides reason......always has done and always will.

HH functions by a strange impulse created by the cosmos, who knows what........

And all of this has to be set against the back cloth of full admiration of the crew and ships which is the sole reason for returning again and again.

So please be patient.

A reply will first be given to SDMS and then you shall probably be included too.

Is that fair ?

And after that.....ho hum shall probably retire into solitude and quiet contemplation for the rest of his days.

For: "All things must pass"

So Raggy, Ho Hum will be hanging around just a little longer..........

But HH also suspects that if the Opus is written well, the real conflict will be resolved and both the anger and annoyance processed through humour could possibly entirely modify the character HH and he would simply evaporate, never to be heard of again.

Who knows.

ho-hum · March 9, 2015

88

We were in Anguilla, to-day, Sandy Ground in fact.

Yes we were supposed to be St.Barts but as it was a Sunday: the shops would have been closed, so the good Captain T Lund decided to change it around a little.

Tomorrow or today actually it is supposed to be Montserrat but what with the wind and already mildly choppy swells, this may not be possible and almost definitely Saba will be cancelled (again).

Temperatures are cooler and there is some rain but for HH it is perfect.

MACT · March 9, 2015

Mr Hum goes on shore leave and returns to duty with gout. Nelson would be proud!

ho-hum · March 9, 2015

Happy Anniversary of Idle Jottings Ho-Hum. Well done. The next milestone is 100,000 views. Should be in April. Bon Voyage as well.
PS: Drink a gallon of water a day to help clear out the ole gouty. Yes, you will spend an inordinate amount of time in the 'Loo but it will surely help rid you of the evil demons.

Thanks Jim old friend.

Ho Hum will be full of p**s.......many have known that for ages !

ho-hum · March 9, 2015

Get well soon ho-hum!

And glad you haven't abandoned us. Imagine if ....ij were to devolve to just Jim and Ragnar chatting about guns and beer :eek:

Thanks Raggy old chum.

ho-hum · March 10, 2015

R

Poor? My childhood was so poor that when out walking and asked if I had lost a shoe, I replied with great enthusiasm and joy "No, I have just found one!"

What am I doing here...? For me, it is a comforting sensible place to reside, away from the sheer nonsense, ridiculousness and utter bewilderment one often incurs when logging into everyday life.

MACT...corporate? Steady...never attained heights of such exalted grandeur. Probably stands for Many Ardbeg & Caol Ila Taken.

Haha....love it !

What best anti-dote to the absurdity of life than a greater absurdity.......you have arrived home.

No doubt the other inmates will grow to enjoy your admission for however long you decide to stay and frequent us with your very amusing pithy commentary.

The whiskies of Islay !

A connoisseur indeed.

Visited on a pilgrimage the Holy Trinity of Laphroaig, Lagavullin & the most grand whisky of all: Ardbeg. The pilgrimage was conducted on foot by Ho Hum and his chums. Which seemed a good idea at the time of planning it but the whisky tasting conducted at the first two distilleries (3 whiskies each) had taken their toll. One of our party fell into a ditch and the rescue operation by his four inebriated chums lasted 20 minutes and was a complete farce.

We arrived at the Holy of Holies: Ardbeg, in a state of utter dishevelment, arguing between ourselves but with one goal in mind: to taste the Uigaedail.

The smallest pour, a finger or two of the local spring water, an open peaty fire after a meal of warm shellfish followed by haggis, neeps and tatties cannot be beaten, sipping with chums, telling tales of our first time with this seductress and congratulating one another that we had not killed one another on that misty roadway between Lagavullin and Ardbeg.

The next morning at breakfast, huge kippers were served with a Lagavullin (the oiliest of the Islay whiskies dont you find and the most perfect accompaniment to a pair of peat, smoke kippers).

Well all of a sudden one of our chum's phones rang by a frantic wife saying her husband had not called her last night. We all groaned. Let him off the leash for a little while longer. So ho hum decides to go upstairs and knock on his hotel room door. No answer. So HH opens the door and collapsed half on floor half on bed is our chum with his trousers and pants round his ankles and his otherwise clothed body on the bed in a come hither and take me pose.

Thoughtfully Ho Hum quietly left the room and told all his chums round the breakfast table to come upstairs and witness the sight !

Naturally we took photos, posed around him and stuck a flower between his cheeks.

And still nothing. Finally he stirred.

The photo was sent by each of his chums on his custom made birthday cards: all 22 (they had been disseminated amongst his other chums also).

Laphroaig Quarter Cask is Ho Hum's "session" whisky......it is sold for $10 a pour on SD. Far right, middle shelf, 2 bottles in, next to the Dalwhinnie, in a green bottle with black printing on an off white label.

Have a great story on first tasting the Laphroaig but that is for another time or maybe not Raggy.

Sadly Ho Hum does'nt drink them too much these days after cutting out the Cuban cigars, 6 years ago when he had robustos stuck in his gob all day long !

Happy memories.

And here attached is a momento of that visit (see photo below).

Edited March 10, 2015 by ho-hum

Poppy1966 · March 10, 2015

.......and Mr Ho Hum is off on his jolly holidays again. WOW. Looking forward to catching up on a whole month of Idle Jottings:)

BTW HH, loved Emirates first. Had the first cabin all to ourselves on two legs of the trip with three crew. Far, far, far too much champagne, loved it. Have a great cruise and I'll pop open a bottle later and get reading. P xxxx

Ragnar Danneskjold · March 10, 2015

First/biz flying turned into a bit of a sour grapes story for ol' Ragnar. Before the "ol'" was added, I used to press my nose against that terrible curtain which divided coach from "the drinking class", my heart heavy with envy. And then there were the happy, cheerful folks waltzing from the lounges to the gate, with obvious headstarts on the joys of the higher class cabins.

Well, as time went on and Ragnar accumulated more money (and freq. flyer miles), he left the dungeon of coach behind. However, much to my disappointment, I found that having even a wee dram before or during flights resulted in splitting headaches :( So now ol' Ragnar can only watch in great dispair as those around him in the lounge and plane swill with wild abandon.

Well, at least there is more legroom, and a flat bed on which to slumber.

And fortunately, no such headache issues at sea level:D

MACT · March 10, 2015

Dear Mr Hum

I’m merely a serf in the presence of a master...Laphroaig as a “session” malt? BeJesus!!

I recall in the distant past tasting my first Laphroaig at the age of around twenty…”so this is an Islay?” a cocky young whippersnapper enquired. Within seconds, I ran all the way home to my mother for a reassuring and loving embrace, scared that the monster in the glass was coming after me.

Through the years and after much dedication to such a noble cause the prospect of a large one of the king only now brings one out in a sweat after its consumption.

I have to admit that I am but a Bunnahabhain “session” man. Your tale of malt induced hilarity whilst on an Islay tour is quite the most ridiculously lovely but very believable yarn I have read in a while. It surely must be the breathing of the heavy sea air that can affect the ability to balance on two feet that some visitors to that wonderful island appear to suffer from.

I vaguely remember what are referred to as the “Bunnahabhain Years”… boys only fishing trips on the Silvery Tay. One of the “fishing” party, and I use that term very loosely indeed, decided that the use of waders would greatly increase the likelihood of a catch for dinner. Well, after imbibing a few schnifters of you know what over most of the day, he confidently entered the river to catch the late afternoon salmon run but within a few minutes the fact that waders only go so high up the waist had obviously been lost in all the excitement of the day.

Only then does one realise that water can be heavy…and cold…and very intrusive.

Much hilarity ensued from the rest of the “fishing” party as the squelching monster from the deep emerges up the river bank to take off said filled waders. The area around the fishing hut was awash with water but alas no fish emerge from the deeper recesses of the right or left leg.

Well, not to be frustrated by such an inconsequential turn of events, the intrepid “fisherman” sets back out, after a rejuvenating dram or two whilst attempting to dry off, rod in hand but minus the waders that are now hanging from a tree drying out, to catch our dinner with the good wishes and praise from the “fishing party” toasting his endeavours with drams all round.

Ahhh… who would have thought…but he walked straight into the river, apparently forgetting that he had no waders on until literally shoulder high within the Silvery Tay! Whilst stumbling amongst rocks and swallowing far too much water than is good for Bunnahabhain, the rest of us found out that you can actually almost come to within an inch of your life by choking with laughter.

The strain on the tree branch as his jumper, shirt, trousers and socks were hung out was a sight to behold…yet such a show of unyielding strength was worthy of another toast… to the mighty Scottish oak…and the mighty American oak for being such an important element of the joy that is Bunnahabhain.

What a trooper…stripped to the bare bones and clothes put into the hotel’s tumble dryer. Sat on a bar stool in his night clothes, thankfully able to dress in time for dinner (no salmon on the menu), cleaned the windpipes with a few pints of ale and sat down to enjoy a wonderful dinner washed down with gorgeous Chateauneuf.

Thankfully he doesn’t remember a thing. Which is good…as the waitress was also an amateur opera singer…but that is for another time.

Poppy1966 · March 10, 2015

......just catching up on Idle Jottings...... My favourite annual jaunt each December includes stopping for coffee and scones at Brig O' Doon at the C&C hotel cafe overlooking the river Doon in Alloway. Followed by an overnight at the fabulous Lochgreen House. Then up to Cameron House on Loch Lomond for a few nights before stopping off again on the return journey at Lochgreen overnight and then to Brig O' Doon hotel cafe on the way home for more coffee, scones, flowers and that fabulous view. A good refreshing walk around the fabulous Culzean castle grounds finishes off a great trip. Love it.

ho-hum · March 11, 2015

Oh Mr H, the suffering you have to endure in the name of the Empire.

Obviously the recent cotton harvest failed on St Barts for these young ladies having to undertake HH's bidding wearing nothing much more than a flimsy piece of tissue paper and beaming smile.

And what about the flight there from San Juan...beer passed down the aisle in chilled container? Was this a communal bucket for all passengers to swig from? Good God...never knew Ryanair had spread its wings to the Caribbean.

I think we all must applaud the quite astounding levels of endurance we are currently witnessing from a consummate professional.

Professional what?

My vote would be to give HH a few million to commission filming a travelogue...the Alan Whicker of the 21st Century. Exploring the nooks and crannies of the Caribbean, the hidden gems, the availability of currants on Nevis, the very partially clothed dancing girls of St Barts...oh boy, might chuck this all in and become a tv producer. HH...any employment opportunities going?

"Well here on the sun kissed, isle of dreams,

Where nubile young ladies, in full bud now can be found dressed simply in smiles and little else.

Surrounded by clear magnums and jeroboams of the terra cotta liquid chilled to within an inch of its life

Here the chic, monied, beauties and hunks parade discreetly in this "market" seeking mutual beneficial alliances: sexual, financial and often both

Take a moment and look around at the cosmopolitan nobled French at play having flown in from the ski slopes of St.Moritz, a day earlier on a champagne soaked Air France flight from Charles De Gaulle, Paris.

Sex pervades the air albeit discreetly like a faint smell of musk.

An assortment of carefully toned Body parts surround one, glistening under expensive sun protection products guaranteeing discreet bronzing and protecting that oh so young skin.

And the casual soporific music of the well-heeled play in every boutique intoning you to join these lotus eaters like sirens to wayward sailors....come unto me

And Most will simply leave with a louche baseball cap or t-shirt inscribed with the islands name indicating to every one back home at the summer barbecue over burnt sausages (totally frozen inside...salmonella season as the hospitals call it) that you nearly touched heaven but probably not anything else, those body parts were not for you.....not similarly toned or rich or both.

But there is always next year, that girl or boy who served you that rose seemed to like you, well she smiled or was that trapped wind.

But she wont be there next year or maybe she will but this time lounging on one of those super yachts in the harbour with her new 85 year old beau nursing him occasionally, being careful not to step on his trailing oxygen line between secret calls to her lover back at the restaurant and a wizard lawyer who can enable her to get a generous bounty after her short evenings "work"...if he dies, he dies....oops"

Well that's the best HH can do in the short time available in honour of the great "Whicker".

For those who have never heard of ALan Whicker.

He was a dapper British, ex-fighter pilot, who turned his nasally toned commentary to TRAVEL.

He was wonderfully parodied by Monty Python in the clip below.

Met him in St.Barts actually. Very well dressed, trim and quite short.

God bless 'im (dead now, very sadly).

Sadly no employments opportunities for either of us but should anyone wish to finance a documentary of St.Barts with HH & MACT, then please send cash to SDII in an envelope marked "HH-MACT PRODUCTIONS".

Promise we wont spend it on .............

Edited March 11, 2015 by ho-hum

ho-hum · March 11, 2015

Hell it was windy today !

Even had to eat in the Dining Dalon for lunch !

The salad would have arrived at the table before you !

And quite a few showers t'boot.

All this makes it damn hard for the crew.....so it was a good call by Jamie, our Hotel Manager and Enes, the wonderful maitre d'.

But tonight we sailed the 22 miles to Isles de Sainte where we are now moored, sheltered from the winds and where we eat outside for dinner: well those lucky few did.

MACT · March 11, 2015

......just catching up on Idle Jottings...... My favourite annual jaunt each December includes stopping for coffee and scones at Brig O' Doon at the C&C hotel cafe overlooking the river Doon in Alloway. Followed by an overnight at the fabulous Lochgreen House. Then up to Cameron House on Loch Lomond for a few nights before stopping off again on the return journey at Lochgreen overnight and then to Brig O' Doon hotel cafe on the way home for more coffee, scones, flowers and that fabulous view. A good refreshing walk around the fabulous Culzean castle grounds finishes off a great trip. Love it.

Greetings Poppy

A beautiful part of the country from Alloway up to Ayrshire. Lochgreen House no less? Only eat there, never stayed. Cameron House? Oh my.... Only eat there, never stayed...just realised an unfortunate pattern emerging here.

Will have to sample the Brig O' Doon hotel café sometime when I am over that part of the country visiting the mother in law.

Edited March 11, 2015 by MACT

MACT · March 11, 2015

"Well here on the sun kissed, isle of dreams,
Where nubile young ladies, in full bud now can be found dressed simply in smiles and little else.

Surrounded by clear magnums and jeroboams of the terra cotta liquid chilled to within an inch of its life

Here the chic, monied, beauties and hunks parade discreetly in this "market" seeking mutual beneficial alliances: sexual, financial and often both

Take a moment and look around at the cosmopolitan nobled French at play having flown in from the ski slopes of St.Moritz, a day earlier on a champagne soaked Air France flight from Charles De Gaulle, Paris.

Sex pervades the air albeit discreetly like a faint smell of musk.

An assortment of carefully toned Body parts surround one, glistening under expensive sun protection products guaranteeing discreet bronzing and protecting that oh so young skin.

And the casual soporific music of the well-heeled play in every boutique intoning you to join these lotus eaters like sirens to wayward sailors....come unto me

And Most will simply leave with a louche baseball cap or t-shirt inscribed with the islands name indicating to every one back home at the summer barbecue over burnt sausages (totally frozen inside...salmonella season as the hospitals call it) that you nearly touched heaven but probably not anything else, those body parts were not for you.....not similarly toned or rich or both.

But there is always next year, that girl or boy who served you that rose seemed to like you, well she smiled or was that trapped wind.

But she wont be there next year or maybe she will but this time lounging on one of those super yachts in the harbour with her new 85 year old beau nursing him occasionally, being careful not to step on his trailing oxygen line between secret calls to her lover back at the restaurant and a wizard lawyer who can enable her to get a generous bounty after her short evenings "work"...if he dies, he dies....oops"

Fantastic...can just hear Mr Whicker provide such a vivid and sumptuous commentary whilst strolling along the waterside in St Barts dressed in his usual finery.

Your talents appear to know no bounds Mr Hum.

.......idle jottings

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