.......idle jottings

[gcmv]

Very nice article - but one question still remains in gcmv's mind:

 

How can someone sleep under the stars on balinese dream beds nexto TOYB when ho hum and blondie are on board?:D

 

Did investigators develop new ear muffs?:eek:

[ho-hum]

Guest Comment Card & Scores: SDII; 21-28 February, 2015

 

1. Yacht Embarkation: 7.5

2. Stateroom Appointments: 7.5

3. Stateroom Stewardesses: 10

4. Cuisine: 10

5. Restaurant Services: 10

6. Bar Services & Sommelier: 10

7. Concierge / Reception & Shop: 10

8. Onboard Recreation: 8.5

9. Shoreside Activities: 9

10. Ports of Call: 9

11. Spa Services: 9

12. Overall Appearance of the Yacht: 8.5

13. Overall Impression of your Voyage: 9

 

Comments

Love the ship, again.

Love the crew, again.

Enes: maitre d' - brilliant. Improves team.

More emphasis on hand sanitation and more dispensers around.

SD ONLY WAY TO DO THE CARIBBEAN !

[kathyanddanny]

I know this has nothing to do with this forum....but woohoo!!!

 

4-0 Canadians!!! Against Toronto!!!... I'm sooo bad!!! Hahahaha!

[ho-hum]

I know this has nothing to do with this forum....but woohoo!!!

 

4-0 Canadians!!! Against Toronto!!!... I'm sooo bad!!! Hahahaha!

 

Cabbie wants facts like these, no needs facts, devours facts.

 

By the way Fulham 2 v Derby 0

[Jim Avery]

Cabbie wants facts like these, no needs facts, devours facts.

 

By the way Fulham 2 v Derby 0

 

Butch & Sundance 1,008, targets 0!:eek:

[ho-hum]

Butch & Sundance 1,008, targets 0!:eek:

 

Go targets !

[ho-hum]

Very nice article - but one question still remains in gcmv's mind:

 

How can someone sleep under the stars on balinese dream beds nexto TOYB when ho hum and blondie are on board?:D

 

Did investigators develop new ear muffs?:eek:

 

They normally jump out of bed, put on dressing gowns and join us at the bar where Ho Hum tells them your "20 minute late" joke !!!

Edited March 2, 2015 by ho-hum

[ho-hum]

Press Release 12.02.2015

Hapag-Lloyd Cruises increases its English-speaking guest numbers sailing on board EUROPA 2 by 230% in 2014

 

• In 2014 Hapag-Lloyd Cruises increased the number of international guests on board its fleet by 52%; and on its newest ship EUROPA 2 by 230%
  
  

 

What a boost (from 10 to 33 guests) ! :D

 

Come on ho-hum - give them a chance ... ;)

 

Gcmv recieved an information, that on his cruise in June, there will be a Sherry-tasting and culinary-school (by Ricardo Asti and Stefan Metzner -Restaurant "Marais Soir" Munich) around Sherry onboard Europa2 - sounds great!

They will also offer special wine and dine evenings. All events are complimentary included ... :)

 

The more Sherry you drink, the less you need "ship-soul" ... ;)

 

HLKF reservation department is outstanding - 10 of 10 (German standard;))

 

Right well lets be clear about this, can we ?

Although never having been on Europa 2, everything tells you that it is a superior product to SDYC.

Agreed ?

SDYC are either incapable or have no intention in "raising their game".

Is it arrogance, laziness, indifference or inability ?

Probably a mix of all in various degrees.

Oslo never had any va-va-voom, style, savoir faire, panache.

They simply offer dreary and dull fare because they are dreary and dull people.

They are Norwegians.

Name any famous singers, artists, culture, fashion designers, food, cooks, jewellers.

No you cant can you ?

And this has to be accepted, right ?

Ho hum has been very reluctant to accept it and he thinks it was an opportunity missed.

But it will NEVER happen (raising standards that is).

 

SD is top of the second division and will never compete in the Premier League.

They will be the Derby County to Europa's Manchester United.

The boiled eggs to the eggs Benedict.

The cava to the vintage champagne.

 

So why SD ?

 

For the Caribbean, it is excellent.

For Europe, it gets in to the smaller ports.

It is more personal and friendly (probably),

The outside areas and dining possibilities make it the perfect vessel.

The crew are amazing.

The waiting staff are not overtly formal nor casual but always have the right balance.

No there are no fancy restaurants, just one but it is perfect, offering a wonderful range of International food.

There are no special events like your "sherry tasting".

Things have been tried by inventive crew but they were never supported by Oslo.

SD has soul.

Ho hum needs soul.

Europa will be uber efficient but the soul goes hungry.

 

But if chums wanted to go and chums were looking for an alternative after the mechanical problems on the crossing (now completely fixed, by the way), then ho hum would consider it.

But they only seem to do 15 day voyages......too long.

 

But gcmv we would love to hear your experience.

[MACT]

Last Friday afternoon I looked at the Soggy Dollar's webcam and low and behold... SeaDream 11 dead centre of picture!

 

How does this exact positioning happen?

 

1. Sheer fluke.

2. SeaDream management paint a cross on the water as a marker to drop the keg, thus creating an excellent free marketing and pr opportunity beamed around the world.

3. HH has real influence where it matters.

 

I think we should be told...

[ho-hum]

Last Friday afternoon I looked at the Soggy Dollar's webcam and low and behold... SeaDream 11 dead centre of picture!

 

How does this exact positioning happen?

 

1. Sheer fluke.

2. SeaDream management paint a cross on the water as a marker to drop the keg, thus creating an excellent free marketing and pr opportunity beamed around the world.

3. HH has real influence where it matters.

 

I think we should be told...

 

"I think we should be told"

A Private Eye quote......you ol scallywag !

Haha

 

As the Old Testament says MACT

 

"And the first shall be last and the last shall be first" (number 3 but HH does'nt like to boast)

 

Higher powers, higher powers MACT.

 

SDII works in "mysterious ways"

Haha

[ho-hum]

Sea Dream I & II, November 2016 Transatlantic Crossings have been announced from Europe to the Caribbean........and the significance of this ho hum is ?

Well it means Asia has been ...........errr dropped like a stone.

And what does that mean oh wise one ?

It may mean that Oslo has finally seen sense in that:

 

1. They must start preserving these vessels and not damage the engines and other mechanical parts by running around Asia covering humungus distances between ports.

 

2. They will not be paying silly money for Asian ports and pandering to the various and onerous demands of various tin pot countries and the downright buraucratic mamby pamby authotities of Australia (what a bunch of Sheilas they are ?)

 

3. If they cant fill the ships in the classic itineraries of the Caribbean & Med then the whole of SDSM should be culled.

 

4. They finally value repeating Club Members a tiny, tiny, tiny bit more. Chasing Indians & the Chinese is a waste of time: there is not enough "bling" for them on SD. You now have HH's permission to close the Asian office and save money: keep Australia office open though. Aussies travel to Europe and their economy was doing quite well and they fit the vessels perfectly.

 

5. The crew were not big fans of Asia despite the "bull" that they wanted to go.

 

News to celebrate.

Edited March 3, 2015 by ho-hum

[ctbjr1309]

Sea Dream I & II, November 2016 Transatlantic Crossings have been announced from Europe to the Caribbean.........

 

Thanks for the heads up on this, h-h. Good news, indeed. In several respects.

[Zimmy]

And do we really want to sail an itinerary that requires the presence of commandos? Just reading ho-hum's account last year was terrifying enough.

 

Zimmy's DH (aka Mr. Zimmy)

Edited March 3, 2015 by Zimmy

[MACT]

Sea Dream I & II, November 2016 Transatlantic Crossings have been announced from Europe to the Caribbean........and the significance of this ho hum is ?

Well it means Asia has been ...........errr dropped like a stone.

And what does that mean oh wise one ?

 

Anchoring in a certain advantageous position at Jost Van Dyke.

Ensuring even the slightest misguided thought SD may have had of another Asian Winter season are quickly abandoned.

 

The power and influence of ye wise one, HH, apparently knows no bounds...

 

What next for SD...introduction of a loyalty scheme? We wait with baited breath for the next midday pronouncement.

[ho-hum]

Anchoring in a certain advantageous position at Jost Van Dyke.

Ensuring even the slightest misguided thought SD may have had of another Asian Winter season are quickly abandoned.

 

The power and influence of ye wise one, HH, apparently knows no bounds...

 

What next for SD...introduction of a loyalty scheme? We wait with baited breath for the next midday pronouncement.

 

Waaaayhaaay !

Better than any pidlin' loyalty scheme !

Far better !

 

If you sail more than 100 days you receive.............wait for it, drum roll if you please.

 

Tadah !

 

5 items of clothing pressed per cabin free of charge !!!!!!! (Sharp intake of breath...ooooooohhhhh !)

 

Of course Ho Hum fills in the form in-correctly under "Dry Cleaning" despite making reference to the FREE offer and is informed YOU WILL BE CHARGED !

A free offer ends up costing ol Ho Hum !!!

 

Now how the blazes do you explain to the nincompoops in Oslo that this reward for loyalty simply demonstrates the yawning chasm between what normal people consider derisory and .... well, only the insane would consider a generous offer ?

 

Now which point of view do you subscribe to ?

Is it Ho Hum that is being dismissive of a generous offer ?

Or

Is it the team at Oslo that are right ?

 

No please tell old Ho Hum.

 

Disparities between two realities was funnily portrayed in a dubious film with an even more dubious title: "the spy who shagged me" directed and acted by the Canadian Michael Myers in which he played Dr.Evil who had been incarcerated for fifty years or so and was now released and had created a laser mounted on a far off planet which when pointed to Earth could destroy it.

From memory, methinks he first turned the laser on a star and the laser jolly well destroyed the star.

 

All of this was televised and demonstrated to an assembly of UN delegates of various countries around the world.

Dr. Evil then addressed the assembly and warned them that if 1 million dollars were not deposited in a Swiss bank account in the next 72 hours then Paris would be destroyed (or some such capital) !!!!

Now everybody in the UN turned to one another in disbelief as did Dr.Evil's cohorts.

Dr.Evil's troublesome son scorned his father for the derisory figure and sensing a similar mood exclaimed "What ?"

Dr.Evil's trusted assistant whispered that since incarceration one million dollars was not an excessive amount and suggested the amount be changed to 100 million dollars.

 

Ho Hum is using this story to demonstrate the sheer "out of touch of reality" Oslo is in or maybe they are simply incredibly mean or maybe they are BOTH out of touch of reality AND incredibly mean !!!

 

If its done as an apparent goodwill act then it is simply embarrassing. Like an old aunt who gave you 2'6" (20 cents) when you were 6 and is still giving you 2'6" at Xmas when you are 26 !

A card would suffice.

 

Ho hum and Blondie were travelling in the tender recently with other guests and another couple asked how often we had travelled with SD. Well they exclaimed after we had informed them "well what kind of rewards do you receive for the number of trips you have done ?"

 

Err....none.

 

They didn't believe us and gave us examples of other cruise lines offering various loyalty rewards and impressive they were too !

Then Ho Hum recalled the laundry offer "Well we do get 5 items of clothing pressed freely after 100 days"

 

Derisory laughter filled the tender !

 

Whoopy-do ! as the Commander would say when we told him. Do you get 5 items per 100 days, so 10 items for 200 days ? No.

 

SDSM are in a world of their own......bless 'em......"for they know not what they do".

[MACT]

Damn you HH...I have been trying to clear from my memory for over the last thirty years or so the teenage experience of when a 5p piece was occasionally placed furtively in my palm by my dear old great aunt...with the comment "don't spend it all in the one shop".

 

I have always suspected that these Norwegians to be a parsimonious bunch. Look at the huge oil fund built up over forty years that they stare smugly at everyday and withdraw the equivalent of two and sixpence in Krones once a year. Not like us British who spend every last penny, and a few borrowed too, in the sweetie shop.

 

So what is an appropriate response to such Norwegian "humour"? How about putting in five socks for pressing? Your reward will be the puzzled look on faces and much gossip amongst the crew ("has HH finally lost his faculties?") and the sheer panic that will ensue when they are returned only for you to demand that the yacht is searched from top to bottom for the "missing" sock.

 

Remind me...what is that condition in the voyage contract..."If Norwegian sensibilities are challenged a guest will be offloaded immediately from the vessel at the next available port and will not in any circumstance, ever, even if you virtually live aboard, be offered free pressing of garments again. So there, smart arse"

[kathyanddanny]

Ho Hum,

 

It's a shame really! All of Seadream passengers fall in love from the moment they step on the boat...and by the sound of it, there are many, many returning guests! As far as Danny and I are concerned it's the little things that count in showing your appreciation for your returning guests.

If I may give you a few examples of how Sandals shines in this area!!

Once you have visited a Sandals resort they ask you to sign up for their signature guest club. No charge, no catch either!

On your second visit and it does not have to be at the same resort...you can choose from any of their 15 or 16 resorts.

You are invited to their returning guest dinner. ( which is a fabulous and grand affair )

You will also get two sandals T shirts in your room. A free 1/2 hour session with a photographer and 10% off in the gift shop. Wait! There's more!!!

Let's see if I remember all they do, since it's been almost 10 years since we started going to Sandals.

At each returning guest dinner, they announce to everyone who has recieved a certain amount of payed nights...for example.

25 paid nights will get you a pair of silver charm sandals among the above mentioned...

45 paid nights gets you a gold charm sandals...among other things....

The BIG one everyone shoots for is 70 paid night and you get a free week!!!

Danny and I are almost at our 3rd free week! It's only 10 % of 70 nights but a free week feels sooo much better.

Next hurdle is... Becoming a diamond member!! This is where you become royalty among the hotel sort of speak! LOL...

100 paid nights! You get the best upgrades, free candle lit dinners on the beach and my personal favorite! You get to invite two staff members of your choice out for dinner and entertainment.

The smart thing that Sandals has created is a fun competition amongst the guests for free weeks and a sense of real belonging!

No one does returning guests club like Sandals!!! It has a great product and high end all inclusive! ( not Seadream high end! ) but very good just the same!

No! I did not get a free week to write this Sandals commercial!! Haha!

again! It's a shame that Seadream offers none of this!! Like I said it's the little things that count! For instance...a very tiny thing about Seadream that irked me was the fact that they do not even send the nice travel folder with bag tags anymore...cost cutting maybe! But it just looks cheap!

So, there you have it! Two examples of how to treat returning guests!

Kathy.

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

Atle probably invested with his Norwegian buddy John Fredriksen, CEO of Seadrill, and is trying to make up his losses....

 

 

PS - hohum, are you preparing the swan song for Idle Jottings?

[Jim Avery]

Atle probably invested with his Norwegian buddy John Fredriksen, CEO of Seadrill, and is trying to make up his losses....

 

 

PS - hohum, are you preparing the swan song for Idle Jottings?

 

Howdy Sundance. I think asking Ho-Hum to give up Idle Jottings is a bit like asking Keith Richards to give up Sex, Drugs, & Rock N Roll.:eek:

K & D, interesting to hear your take on Sandals. We have often thought of that as we have enjoyed other all inclusives but have, so far, never "pulled the trigger". (Sorry about that Mr. Hum) It looks nice and Ho-Hum's point about rewarding past customers is well taken. We are Diamond with Cunard and get lots of stuff including more Wi-Fi time than we can use. Of course, if SD were to institute some levels of rewards, we would have to, for Mr. & Mrs. Hum, come up with an appropriate level. Something far above Diamonds..........

[ho-hum]

Damn you HH...I have been trying to clear from my memory for over the last thirty years or so the teenage experience of when a 5p piece was occasionally placed furtively in my palm by my dear old great aunt...with the comment "don't spend it all in the one shop".

 

I have always suspected that these Norwegians to be a parsimonious bunch. Look at the huge oil fund built up over forty years that they stare smugly at everyday and withdraw the equivalent of two and sixpence in Krones once a year. Not like us British who spend every last penny, and a few borrowed too, in the sweetie shop.

 

So what is an appropriate response to such Norwegian "humour"? How about putting in five socks for pressing? Your reward will be the puzzled look on faces and much gossip amongst the crew ("has HH finally lost his faculties?") and the sheer panic that will ensue when they are returned only for you to demand that the yacht is searched from top to bottom for the "missing" sock.

 

Remind me...what is that condition in the voyage contract..."If Norwegian sensibilities are challenged a guest will be offloaded immediately from the vessel at the next available port and will not in any circumstance, ever, even if you virtually live aboard, be offered free pressing of garments again. So there, smart arse"

 

 

Now we need to get a few things straight right away dearest MACT.

 

Firstly Ho Hum loves the "cut of your jib": no jib has been lovelier.

And Ho hum enjoys the banter, the cut & thrust, so jolly well give Ho Hum a "ribbin'" any time you feel like it "me ol China" !

 

Hell by the time 2'6" was replaced with decimilsation, it would have been 25p and you were receiving 5p !

Is Brigadoon the name of your caravan ?

Just how poor were you ?

But from your confident, dare ho hum say jaunty demeanour, you are obviously a person of wit and intellect.......so what the hell are you doing here ?

 

Norwegians are humourless.

That is a plain fact.

And they are so terribly dull.

Again a proven fact.

Oh and they are mean.

They have all this hydro-electricity, oil and as much moose as you can fill your stomach on that everyone in Norway does not need to work but they do and then they are taxed at 95%.

After tax they are free to purchase essentials.

Alcohol is taxed at 97%.

When foreigners visit Norway and go to restaurants, there are loan companies in the foyer who can arrange loans for meals.

These are all verifiable and honest facts.

Norway is in complete darkness for 355 days of the year.

Norwegians have no creative talent whatsoever just watch the Eurovision song contest. Case proved.

 

And the British ? the exact opposite...spendthrifts the lot of us but nothing on the scale of the Greeks !

"What ! you became members of the EU and borrowed €175 billion !

Now you dont want to repay it ?"

 

Your concern for ho hum and his being put on a "blacklist" is highly un-likely as they dont read CC. If they did things may have changed.

However in the early years ho hum has been a tad naughty, in a playful sort of way and has annoyed many fellow guests by his very loud laughter.

He has also been called to the bridge on one occasion and has been reprimanded twice.

But in the last 3 years, ho hum's behaviour has been exemplary.

 

But you know the Norwegians and the Oslo office have really nice people, they are honest (bar one incident), they are fair and they are friendly.

This is true.

And our dialogue has recently reached a cordial and friendly level which HH deeply appreciates.

The future looks a tad brighter though a full accord is out of the question, malheureusment.

 

Ho hum is either stupid or fearless or maybe both !

He has reached an age where he will not be intimidated and he urges everyone else to not cower in fear.

HH read a funny line the other day "Fear is the condom of life"

 

Now Ho Hum is wondering what MACT stands for. It sounds terribly corporate.

Anybody else out there have an idea ?

Edited March 4, 2015 by ho-hum

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

"I think asking Ho-Hum to give up Idle Jottings"

 

I'm not asking him to, the great man himself intimated that he would be exiting stage left on the anniversary of ij. The rising angst level of the CC membership is palpable.

[MACT]

Hell by the time 2'6" was replaced with decimilsation, it would have been 25p and you were receiving 5p !

Is Brigadoon the name of your caravan ?

Just how poor were you ?

But from your confident, dare ho hum say jaunty demeanour, you are obviously a person of wit and intellect.......so what the hell are you doing here ?

 

Now Ho Hum is wondering what MACT stands for. It sounds terribly corporate.

Anybody else out there have an idea ?

 

Poor? My childhood was so poor that when out walking and asked if I had lost a shoe, I replied with great enthusiasm and joy "No, I have just found one!"

 

What am I doing here...? For me, it is a comforting sensible place to reside, away from the sheer nonsense, ridiculousness and utter bewilderment one often incurs when logging into everyday life.

 

MACT...corporate? Steady...never attained heights of such exalted grandeur. Probably stands for Many Ardbeg & Caol Ila Taken.

[kathyanddanny]

Howdy Sundance. I think asking Ho-Hum to give up Idle Jottings is a bit like asking Keith Richards to give up Sex, Drugs, & Rock N Roll.:eek:

K & D, interesting to hear your take on Sandals. We have often thought of that as we have enjoyed other all inclusives but have, so far, never "pulled the trigger". (Sorry about that Mr. Hum) It looks nice and Ho-Hum's point about rewarding past customers is well taken. We are Diamond with Cunard and get lots of stuff including more Wi-Fi time than we can use. Of course, if SD were to institute some levels of rewards, we would have to, for Mr. & Mrs. Hum, come up with an appropriate level. Something far above Diamonds..........

 

Jim,

Give Sandals a shot!! And if you love a beautiful beach relaxation? Try the Sandals Emerald bay in Exuma, Bahamas for your first! Outstanding!!!

And for Ho Hum and Blondie? I would obviously give them the Royalty level...

 

Kathy.

[ho-hum]

San Juan, PR - St.Barts

 

07.30 ship docks Puerto Rico, say goodbyes to crew

 

08.10 first off ship thanks to Purser (whom we had dinner with two nights before: good move by cunning ol HH...hehehe. A really nice guy too BTW. Also ate with two lady personnel too to add more glamour to the table).

 

08.15 through customs (charming people) and into taxi

 

08.30 airport (charming driver) even give him a tip (Cabosal in the 4 o'clock !)

 

08.35 check in (charming lady who escorts us to lounge and offers us drinks)

 

08.40 lounge, more drinks, check and send emails (lounge capacity 5,000: actual number, 2 - us. Great unless you suffer from agoraphobia !), discharge bladder..aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh !! (There are no fewer pleasures !!)

 

10.00 board (seat inside door; convenient), pre-check flight by charming Captain sitting 3'0" away !

 

10.10 take off, beer passed down aisle in chilled container by 4 charming other passengers (all pilots)........smug grin widens across fat face !

Is'nt this..........dammit what's the word ? "Charming" yes !

Well said Ho Hum, you clever old bean you !

 

Yes, it's all been so "up-tiddley up, down-tiddley down, and back home for tea and medals, charming and a jolly hurrah t'boot, dont ya know"

as Ho Hum's dear grandfather Air Field-Marshall Lord Peregrine, "Biggles", Ponsonby-Smythe, KBE, KFC would say after popping across The Channel after a short, sortie in France and giving the Kaiser a bloody nose !

(which is exactly what Ho Hum would like to do to the Head of the Reservations Department ensconced in a bunker, deep inside a secret mountain north of Oslo.

Bish, bash !

Take that you cad, you.

Yes you heard, Cad sir.

You big Moose dropping, you.

Let that be a warning.

Next time Ho Hum wont be so gentlemanly about it.

Good day, sir.

You bounder, you rascal, you.) !

 

10.45 arrive St.Barts

 

10.55 go thro charming Customs, collect bags and greeted by charming driver

 

11.10 arrive at La Plage beach restaurant and greeted by charming semi-naked young lady who escorts us to a table.

 

11.20 first bottle of Provencal rose poured by a charming young man in grey striped shorts and white top. Approves of Ho Hum's rose wine choice, naturally .... and suggests two others: Petales de Rose & La Chapelle.

 

And then it becomes a little foggier............great, great time at restaurant, more wine, food, bikini modelling competition which seems to be themed on:

"How to cover the important body parts with as little amount of material as possible !".

 

My God it was a close run contest which Ho Hum studied particularly carefully !

If a things worth doing et all.

 

Ho Hum would have liked to have provided a few photos but all of the pictures were "jarry" due to too much camera shake for some reason and others had had the lens cap on !

A common problem actually by amateur photographers absorbed in the subject matter.

 

Now to the Cabbies of the world who may pooh-pooh young ladies strutting their stuff and call it demeaning, ho hum would say, when you see ordinary young ladies really walking around like this, the one thing that is immediately engaging is their un-ashamed, joyous confidence: it is er.........sexy (not sleezy).

Wholesome sexy !

The type of sexy that experts recommend in their list of things to keep you healthy.

There are all types of people in the world.

These young ladies have a certain "savoir faire".

They may be young in years but by God they have "IT".

And that is sexy.

Later during our stay on the island, we dined at Isle de France restaurant: there the young ladies were just "mumsy" (and nothing wrong with that but stimulating ? Certainly not. Wilted lettuces: the lot of 'em).

 

Maybe Ho Hum has got it all wrong.

It has been known.

Rarely but sometimes.

 

One table of 20 dressed as super heroes were very engaging and fun, drinking jeroboams of rose poured off the shoulder.

Fascinating show offs !

Loved it !

Each time a new super hero arrived, the DJ played the opening excerpt music from Star Wars, you know the one: "DAH DAH, DI DAH".

Yep thats the one.

 

All the time a live disco with a cool DJ played great music and at just the right level.

Several tables dancing away.

Some on it.

Ho Hum was advised to keep to the sand due to Health & safety concerns and request of other patrons.

Their loss.

 

Staff were brilliant and charming.

Owner a real charming gentleman.

Really hip.

All French and great service !

Its true !

Scare bleu.

You must try Le Plage especially for Saturday lunch (kind of like a "grown ups" Nikki Beach in terms of vibe not age....cool, inclusive and courteous too. Food: salad only. The tagliatelle and lobster had a very strange sweet sauce, could only eat 95% of it . The rest HH had to leave. Yes a waste, is'nt it.). Fell in love with all the waitresses.

 

15.00 charming driver collects us again

 

15.15 arrive villa.....breathtaking

 

15.25 nappy-poo

 

18.00 ultra charming chums arrive, champagne, wine, meal

 

22.00 bed

 

22.01 zzzzzzzzzzzz

[MACT]

Oh Mr H, the suffering you have to endure in the name of the Empire.

 

Obviously the recent cotton harvest failed on St Barts for these young ladies having to undertake HH's bidding wearing nothing much more than a flimsy piece of tissue paper and beaming smile.

 

And what about the flight there from San Juan...beer passed down the aisle in chilled container? Was this a communal bucket for all passengers to swig from? Good God...never knew Ryanair had spread its wings to the Caribbean.

 

I think we all must applaud the quite astounding levels of endurance we are currently witnessing from a consummate professional.

 

Professional what?

 

My vote would be to give HH a few million to commission filming a travelogue...the Alan Whicker of the 21st Century. Exploring the nooks and crannies of the Caribbean, the hidden gems, the availability of currants on Nevis, the very partially clothed dancing girls of St Barts...oh boy, might chuck this all in and become a tv producer. HH...any employment opportunities going?