Has anyone gone on a cruise to grieve?

[lola61]

Funny question I know considering its a "Fun Ship" but I wonder if one can find enough solitude to just sit on a top deck early or late in the day. Retreat to your cabin, do not disturb. Pray and just get away. I have been on several cruises but never actually thought about it while on board. :(

 

Yes did it after my father died, very therapeutic. Going to do my Fathers and Mothers ashes on our February cruise, they will be together :) in the beautiful Caribbean waters they so loved.

[deborahjo]

1978- I was very serious about a guy. He ask me to marry him on Good Friday. Of course I said yes. He left Saturday morning to go compete in a sky diving meet in Florida. Sunday he was competing for first place. He wore the camera on his helmet. When he pulled his ripcord the shoot wrapped around the camera. He was killed instantly.

 

My parents saw after 3 months I was having trouble coping. I was 20. They suggested I take a vacation. I went to AAA and they suggested a cruise. (watched Love Boat) I booked the Carnival Carnivale for 2nd week of December. 7 day cruise.

 

Was assigned a roommate from Carnival and I went to heal. They did that back then. Had a great time. Met a lot of great people and got thru my grieving process. Thus my love for cruising started and I healed.

 

My middle sister lost her husband one year ago. She ask if she could cruise with us this yes. Her first cruise. He was retired Navy. We have it arranged for her to put his ashes to sea during the cruise. As she said "What a better place for his ashes then the water." I really respect her and her decision.

Edited July 9, 2014 by deborahjo

[w&k]

I took my Mom and an old friend of hers (over 60 years!) on the Sovereign of the Seas. They both had cancer, and I towed them (slowly) all over the ship. Sailaway in the Viking Crown, dinner in the dining room, and hanging out and people-watching on the Lido deck. It was a wonderful weekend. Just a month later, at Thanksgiving, Mom was gone, but all she talked about that month was getting another trip to the Bahamas to see the blue water.

 

I was dreading Xmas just a few weeks away. I saw a last-minute trip and DH and I bailed out of work and jumped onboard. That was absolutely the best thing I could have done for both of us.

 

At dinner on Xmas eve, we were at a table with 4 other folks, and having a nice chat. When our dinners arrived, I took one look at the turkey & trimmings, and burst out bawling. Within a minute, the other ladies started as well. Turns out that they were sisters, and had lost THEIR Mom a couple months before, and bailed out on the holidays at home as well.

 

We got another bottle of wine, and toasted our Moms while we dried our tears.

 

Every time I get onboard, I find a quiet spot, think about my dear Mom, Auntie and Mother-in-law, and have a small tear-up while I reminisce about our cruises together.

 

Hopefully, you will find comfort on the sea as well.

 

Wendy

[TxChick]

I took a cruise last year after my dad was diagnosed with ALS because we weren't sure when we would get to cruise again, we were told he had 2-5 years. I spent the cruise on the aft deck, reflecting, praying, staring at the heavens. My dad died 10 months later and I'm taking the same cruise to do the same thing. I feel at peace in the ocean.

[vickyjanae]

Thank you all for bringing this up. I just lost my mother after a lengthy illness in February. She loved to cruise and live life to the fullest. This thread gives me permission to go there and grieve when I need to and be active when I need. I was concerned that I wouldn't enjoy the cruise because she wouldn't be there but you have given me the incentive to just be and go with the flow.

 

I know she willl be there with me in spirit, but like others have said there are good days and there are bad days. There is no set time for the grieving process I just have to go through. My father says PUSH PUSH PUSH. I will be pushing.

 

Thank you all for your openness.

[Kidsgoneletscruise]

The year our sons were not coming home for the holidays we cruised. It was a perfect distraction. It took me a long time to adjust to the empty nest. :(

[t1adams]

We just lost our 19 year old son Kevin on May 22nd, in a car accident. There was never any doubt that we would still be going on our Liberty cruise. He loved to cruise, and was looking forward to being able to gamble in the casino, and share a drink with us on the islands. We know he will be there with us in spirit!! In fact, we booked a 5 day cruise on the Fascination for just prior to the Liberty cruise, to give us more time at sea. Yes, there will be some tears, but mostly of joy, as we have so many wonderful memories of cruising with him. Sitting at home and wallowing in pity was never, and never will be, an option. Kevin wouldn't stand for that!!!

 

 

I'm so sorry for your loss. I too have lost my son, our oldest child, at just 14yrs old. That was five years ago. You are still in the "fog stage" of grief. Reality and most likely, the deepest stage of your grief could emerge around the end of August. I will be I prayer for you and your family at that time. Just remember this, you WILL get through it. Right now you probably can't yet grasp the depth of your grief. But those days are probably coming. Not sure when this Liberty cruise of yours is coming. I

Wish you the best and peace be with you and yours.

 

It's been five years for my family. We cruised the first time at 18 months post passing. His was a tragic accident as well.

 

 

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[karinad]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I too have lost my son, our oldest child, at just 14yrs old. That was five years ago. You are still in the "fog stage" of grief. Reality and most likely, the deepest stage of your grief could emerge around the end of August. I will be I prayer for you and your family at that time. Just remember this, you WILL get through it. Right now you probably can't yet grasp the depth of your grief. But those days are probably coming. Not sure when this Liberty cruise of yours is coming. I

Wish you the best and peace be with you and yours.

 

It's been five years for my family. We cruised the first time at 18 months post passing. His was a tragic accident as well.

 

 

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I just hit 5 yrs. that our daughter passed suddenly. So sorry for your loss and everyone here. Even after 5 yrs. it's still a bad dream, but life is still going on. We went 5 months after our daughters death. It was good to see others enjoying themselves and it was a little respite from our home which is filled with memories of her. No, we weren't out there having a good time, but it was peaceful and all we had to think of was taking care of ourselves for those 10 days.

[bigman01]

This thread has been good for me. We leave on the Breeze on July 19th. My whole extended family is going, but my dad passed away unexpectedly last month. We are all still going. July 19th was also my dad's birthday. We plan to have a burial at sea with a biodegradable shell urn. He loved cruising and was in the Navy. I know he would find it fitting. It will be a difficult cruise but hope to find peace.

 

 

My condolences to you and your family. We did this for my dad last November on board the Carnival Magic. Carnival was outstanding in assisting us and letting us do it. It was very difficult, but at the same time, it gave us some peace knowing it was what my dad wanted. I hope you find some peace and comfort in the ceremony also.

 

To the OP, yes, indeed, it's possible to grieve on a cruise. The funny thing about us humanoids is that we all grieve differently. If you want the quiet and solitude, by all means, you can find it.

[mzloolue]

After my mother died my sister was not coping well.

My sister and I were pretty exhausted after sharing caring for our mother.

One of my daughters had graduated from college and was unemployed and she helped us out too.

 

Anyway, a week after and my sister needed to get away.

I said that we needed a cruise.

We looked online and found 5 days on Triumph for the next week.

For less that $200 a person, so it was meant to be.

We took my daughters too and made it a girl's cruise.

We slept a bit, ordered a room service feast, went to the sauna and relaxed.

We sat outside in the breeze at night.

I got up early several mornings and watched the sun come up.

 

It helped.

 

And perhaps it is good to remember that some people are carrying burdens that we cannot even imagine.

There is much evil in this world, but also much kindness.

[KARTI1955]

My heart goes out to everyone and their losses.

I have done this. I lost both of my brothers to cancer recently. They passed 9 days apart. When we were hopeful that both would recover, we spoke of all taking a cruise together. Sadly, that was not meant to be.

A group of friends sailed together and spent a lot of time just talking and celebrating the fact that we were so honored to have had these two wonderful men in our lives. Being at sea was very calming for me. Just sitting and having time to absorb everything did help.

We plan to make this an annual trip and pay tribute yearly.

[HawkIVette]

Ok, long story short.

My Father-in-law was the one who got me started into cruising. My in-laws begged my wife and I to go along with them on a cruise for years.

 

We finally did in 2002 (first cruise for wife and I). Loved it so much. Couldn't believe how much fun you could have. Cruised a few more times after that with them.

 

Fast forward till 2010. Father-in-law comes down with a rare form of MD. They actually had to cancel our Panama Canal cruise in 2010. He passed almost 10 months later. His wife pretty much gave up cruising because he planned everything for her. After a few years of greiving, and us asking her to go with us again, she decided to go with us again.

 

We just got off the Miracle Alaska cruise this June. She had a blast. She now knows her husband would want her to go on doing the things they loved so much. She is booked with us again in Dec.

 

Now to the kicker. I have got a rare endocrine disorder called MEN type 1. My days are numbered. But I don't let that stop me, or our family from cruising. We are planning 2 cruises a year. And I hope that my wife, kids and family will continue to go on after I am gone and remember how much fun we all had on these family trips.

Actually hope to be buried at sea. Would love to have my family take a cruise to celebrate my life a year after my passing.

I loved the Caribbean. I feel I would have been a pirate if I was born 500 years earlier.

Edited July 10, 2014 by HawkIVette

[t1adams]

I just hit 5 yrs. that our daughter passed suddenly. So sorry for your loss and everyone here. Even after 5 yrs. it's still a bad dream, but life is still going on. We went 5 months after our daughters death. It was good to see others enjoying themselves and it was a little respite from our home which is filled with memories of her. No, we weren't out there having a good time, but it was peaceful and all we had to think of was taking care of ourselves for those 10 days.

 

 

Do you have younger children (younger than she was)? That has been my life preserver...having the two younger ones. My daughter is now 15 almost 16 and my youngest is another son, who is now about to turn 12. They need me. Otherwise I would have crossed over to the other side about the time I came out of the fog (around three to four months post death). Amazingly, I'm still married and our family is still in tact. All by the Grace of our Lord. No other way to explain that one.

 

We cruise once a year now. I call it our "memorial trip." It in a way has been another life saver for my family. It gives us all something to look forward to each year...keeps us going and focusing on the horizon instead of the constant looking backward. Even five years out (death was 6/12/09), we STILL need a respite from our grief. These cruises really help us.

 

 

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Edited July 10, 2014 by t1adams

[gizmo911]

What a great thread. My prayers and heart goes out to all who have shared about the loss of their loved ones and how they impact their cruise experience . I will be going on a cruise next month alone to just get away and while am not grieving the loss of a loved one, I am taking this opportunity to let go and let God over some things that have been so painful to deal with this year. Grieving can be about area of your life: people, things, issues and just life adjustments in general. I love the ocean and when I get into the water, I feel a peace and that it washes away some things I have to let go of. It is sort of a "spiritual" cleansing and I am better for it.

Edited July 10, 2014 by gizmo911

[goduckies05]

I had a cruise planned for my birthday may 2nd. My mom passed away April 7th of an aneurysm. I decided to go on the cruise and was able to speead some of her ashes. They were amazing gave me the cordinates where I spread her ashes. Had a somber morning of my bday then said I need to have fun and celebrated the day away and my moms life. Best decision I could have made!

 

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[M_GO_BLUE]

Peace and love to you all.

[carolinaviking71208]

My first cruise back in 2012 was, in a way, to grieve. Not the loss of a loved one, but the end of my marriage. It was a very relaxing, reflective trip that allowed me to escape reality for a week.

 

Now my second cruise in 2013, that was a celebration that everything was final and that "phase" of my life was over with many new chapters to come!

 

 

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[aaron3219]

Everyone deals with death in their own way. Personally I like to distract myself with stuff. Personally I end up working a great deal and trying to distract myself.

 

A cruise would be a great way to do this for me.

[mosaic_mom]

Everyone deals with death in their own way. Personally I like to distract myself with stuff. Personally I end up working a great deal and trying to distract myself.

 

A cruise would be a great way to do this for me.

 

I've been doing the distraction stuff since my daughter died almost a year ago. Our cruise last December was a welcome escape from everything. Just a way to step out of the present picture and do something different and relaxing.

[halos]

Funny question I know considering its a "Fun Ship" but I wonder if one can find enough solitude to just sit on a top deck early or late in the day. Retreat to your cabin, do not disturb. Pray and just get away. I have been on several cruises but never actually thought about it while on board. :(

 

My Grandmother died while I was on a ship...so I have grieved while cruising. I must say that for me, it was the best place to grieve that I could have possibly hoped for. The sea brings me a sense of peace even in the worst times.

I was fortunate that we knew we'd be back in time for all the services...so that helped me to be able to emotionally and mentally take care of myself while on board.

[SIENA6334]

I too, took a cruise to grieve the end of my 32 year marriage. It was my first and being on or near water was a great comfort to me. I went with 4 friends and it lifted my spirits tremendously. That was in 2007 and I have cruised every year since. We lost one friend to cancer and others parted ways but the 2 of us left continue to cruise and we toast our lost friend every night at dinner as we used to do. My parents are both in their upper 80's and my 3 sisters and myself have made a pact, when the time comes, we will take a cruise and grieve together.

[marshhawk]

2001-my Dad died in '98 ( I had been his care taker for two years) laid off in '99, long term relationship ended in '99. Got a new job in 2000, which was terrible, working for very evil people. Quit, and went to Disney for a week. I strolled about, did drawings, listened to music, thought about the people and things, yes things like jobs, and homes that I had lost.

 

Was in a restaurant and was drawing wrote the date down, and realized it was my mom's birthday (she passed in '96) thought, wow, how the years fly by, but didn't cry. The last night I was in the parks, I stopped at an art store, saw a picture of Bambi and couldn't stop crying. (my cat had died the month before this trip) and some of the staff came over and held me, and we were all crying within 5 minutes.

 

It did me good to learn that you can grieve, and cry, and there are people who care. I hadn't really had time in those last 4 years to realize all that had hit me and what I was responsible for, and what I had lost. If a cruise helps, do it, if I had known about cruising back then, I would have done that, rather than Disney, but I did what I had to do, and to those who have lost, it's alright to cry, but remember the laughter in your heart.

[jenjay1210]

Very moving to read these posts. My grandmother whom I loved deeply died 19 years ago on my 21st birthday. For years I would not allow celebrations on my birthday - it took me a very long time to recognize that I could celebrate my birthday without somehow discounting her worth or my love for her. This was a slow process for me but the right one. A cruise can be very peaceful if desired and I think it would be a nice way to remember your loved one.

[Zedjp3]

My husband's father passed away last September. He was a World War II veteran. My husband and I are both veterans. Princess had a special "Cruise for a Cause" for veterans, a four day cruise just before Veterans Day. We took the cruise, partly for grieving, partly to recover from the demands of his care. It was the perfect way to do both of these.

 

 

Lisa

[mamieof3]

My precious grand daughter turned 8 years old with a huge party with family and friends. 5 days later she was killed in an accident. Our world ceased to exist as we knew it. Fast forward 4 months, 4 of my friends and I had planned for a year a cruise together. Do I go and leave my daughter, SIL, 4 yo grandson, DS, &, DH? They all encouraged me to go but only if I wanted to. I did want to but the guilt of leaving them made the decision so hard. I did end up going. The only real memory I have of the cruise is walking along the beach in Cozumel and crying til I thought I would die myself. My DH and I took our whole family on a cruise the year prior to my GD death and she had the best time. But, Cozumel was ours. After swimming with the dolphins, she and I just walked, explored, laughed, took pics, got her hair braided...so many precious memories. So, Cozumel was a kind of 'come to Jesus' for me. My friends knew, checked on me once, and then left me alone with my pain. That time was mine. I had spent every moment possible taking care of my family, especially my daughter so there was very little time I allowed myself to outwardly grieve. I am sure the entire cruise was fun, my friends tell me things we did and it sounds great, lol, but, truthfully, all I remember is Cozumel. So, what I can tell you is the cruise may give you an opportunity that 'real life' doesn't afford that will make it a very worthwhile trip. May God bless each of you grieving a loss, especially a child. It is not something I would wish for anyone but it is unfortunately something many of us have had to journey through. 2 Corinthians 4:18 has gotten our family through some dark days, maybe it will help you. Happy cruising all and may God bless you all.