To (pre) drink or not to (pre) drink?

[citypete]

You know what? I hardly drink any alcohol at home but trying to work out which package (if any) to pre-purchase on a cruise has made me feel like an closeted alcoholic!

 

At first I thought "nawwww - I don't need a drinks package" but on further investigation it seems I do as most cruises cleverly "package the packages" to include other drinks like premium coffees, latte's, bottled water and the likes carefully and strategically manipulating you into a very tight, dark, damp unexplored corner!

 

So then I discover you can usually take 2 x 0.75 ltr bottles onboard on the first day...but wait...it's limited to wine! I hate wine! I want Campari...or Martini.. but no, alas, that's not permitted. So here’s what I’ll do, I’ll buy the wine...empty the contents and fill it with Martini, carefully resealing it and making sure the bottle isn't see-through otherwise the "white wine" would look a bit odd being yellow...

 

HANG ON! If you get caught doing that: it's a red card with a very loud whistle and security guard raising his arm pointing at the jetty! "YOU'RE OFF"!

 

OK...you win...let's buy a package. Argh...there we are...the “Classic” for $49 per day - PER PERSON (ouch)...but hang on...that's limited in values of drinks! Beers up to $6, wine upto $9 and spirits up to $8. Let's take a look at the drinks menu...ah ha...I can have ONE beer type, ONE wine type and what looks like some non-branded engine-room produced spirits...

 

So I need the “Premium” for $59 per day - PER PERSON if I want decent beer or drinks brands that I recognise...

 

It's OK! I have an idea...I'll buy ONE premium drinks package and "smuggle" drinks to my wife! Sorted...erm...NOT! You swipe your drinks package card for EACH DRINK so it looks like I'm going to become very familiar with the bar-man seeing me every 5 minutes! Then I need to pass the drink secretly to my wife...under surveillance...and... WHISTLE!!!! It's a red card with raised arm pointing at the jetty of the next port! "YOU'RE OFF!"

 

Then there’s other things to consider: If you buy a package in advance it’s for every night of the trip. But the first night we only depart at 6pm and have 2 bottles of wine (with Martini inside because I’ve found a merchant who will do it and re-seal the bottle with a cork for $1!) and the last night is alcohol-free because I’m driving at 7am in the morning! 2 nights @ $59 / night each = $236 WASTED! (Which is what I'll be after mistaking my Martini - above - for wine because I forgot what I did!)

 

It’s OK…I can buy the package onboard on, say, day 3…but you can only do this for ALL remaining days so the last night is wasted again..AND…the post-departure rate is 10% more expensive when done this way. Do the maths…it’s scientific and, guess what, you’ll never win!

 

Oh…one final thing…for every drink you “swipe” on your pre-paid package card the VALUE is totted up and at the end of the cruise you pay 15% service charge on what you had!

 

Argh…there is one final, final thing too – it’s a “cashless” payment process at the end. Credit or debit card only…and there’s a 3% surcharge for payment cards!

 

Now…sod the wine…where’s the vodka!! I need a drink…FAST…what’s that? My wife’s holding something up - a red card with a very loud whistle and raising her arm pointing at the door! "YOU’RE OFF"!

[chico 94]

For royal carribean I believe the gratuities are already added on to the price per day.

I think you need to pay for all days ... I think if you buy couple days into your cruise it is retroactive ..might want to look into it further.

[MingusBigBand]

Very clever, well done. Probably the best summation of the mental anguish experienced when considering whether to purchase the package.

[cb at sea]

It doesn't sound like you're a sot....so just buy what you want, when you want it. You can buy the package once you are on the cruise, with at least 4 days remaining....they prorate the price.

There is no #5 added to credit cards....don't know where you got that info!

 

 

Just buy drinks as you want them...it will save you a headache, if it doesn't save you money!

Edited October 10, 2014 by cb at sea

[dsrdsrdsr]

And all that from a poster in the UK, where none of it applies anyway. (At least, not on UK-based lines. Which for the benefit of our American friends, do not as a rule charge stupid prices like the American-based ships.)

[Langley Cruisers]

And all that from a poster in the UK, where none of it applies anyway...

 

OP is sailing on Celebrity Eclipse out of Miami, Florida in late November. I'd say it applies.

[citypete]

It doesn't sound like you're a sot....so just buy what you want, when you want it. You can buy the package once you are on the cruise, with at least 4 days remaining....they prorate the price.

There is no #5 added to credit cards....don't know where you got that info!

 

 

Just buy drinks as you want them...it will save you a headache, if it doesn't save you money!

 

What is a "sot"?

 

Here are a typical set of terms & conditions regarding credit cards:

 

"All items on board ship are priced in U.S. Dollars. All vessels operate on a ‘cashless’ system. Simply validate your SeaPass account with an acceptable credit card at the cruise check-in desk. Then you can sign all onboard purchases to your account. At the end of your cruise you will receive a completely itemised statement. Your SeaPass account must be paid with a credit card. Please note transaction and currency conversion charges may be subject to a fee from your credit card company. An additional handling fee of 3% is levied for all card purchases.

 

At the time of printing the following credit cards are accepted on board: Visa, MasterCard, American Express, Discovery and Diners Card. Since American Express Traveller Cheque Cards are prepaid cards, they cannot be used for on board cruise charges, nor can any other pre-paid card."

 

Edited October 11, 2014 by citypete

[dorisis]

Brilliant!

[dsrdsrdsr]

OP is sailing on Celebrity Eclipse out of Miami, Florida in late November. I'd say it applies.

 

I don't know OP as well as you do. Besides, he wasn't being serious.

[Langley Cruisers]

I don't know OP as well as you do. Besides, he wasn't being serious.

 

Oh, I actually don't know him at all! LOL. I just looked up his previous posts and saw his future ship. :D

 

I think there is probably a kernel of truth to his post... they say there is some truth behind every joke. ;)

[NoPlaceLikeHome7]

I think he is a brilliant comic writer. Well done!:beer:

 

Sent from my SM-P600 using Forums mobile app

[missmoo4]

If your're not big drinkers, just buy your spirits as and when you want. If you only have 2 or 3 drinks a night, it's a lot cheaper. I probably had a glass of wine and a cocktail most nights, my husband might have had a couple of beers, plus I drank a couple of cokes. Our total end of cruise cost was just over $500 for 12 nights, for the 2 of us. Worked out around $20 a day per person, which also included a specialty meal each and around $100 in the shops

[ColdEyeMally]

A highly entertaining OP.

[Shopdrinkeat]

Hi, I just came off the NCL Getaway and purchased the ultimate drink package. Not much of a drinker at home, but vacation is just that a time to relax. I totally feel it is worth the price and perhaps a steal when broken down. All gratuities are included and premium brands are as well. As an example, I had a dirty Ketel One martini at one bar, the bill I signed was for 11.75...all included in the package. I also had estancia Pinot noir every night...more than one...signed for 12 plus dollars, all included. If you drink beer, not worth it, -unless you have tons, but for me, a few glasses of wine, a couple rum drinks at the pool and a nice strong cocktail before dinner...got my money's worth and more.bottled water is not included, which stinks, but I took a case on with me. This was my first time cruising and will do it again and will certainly buy that package again...so worth it! :)

[Krazy Kruizers]

We don't drink a lot. So the packages are not for us.

Also HAL has only 1 Signature Beverage Package and each person in the cabin over the age of 21 must buy the package -- no sharing or sneaking drinks.

And HAL only has the house wine in their package.