Scattering Ashes

[take us away]

Derbytwo: we all wish you the very best while you do such a beautiful thing for your husband. So many congratulations on being so brave to do this for him! Know that all of your CC friends will be there with you in spirit holding your hand, giving lots of hugs and support, or whatever you need.

[starryuk]

I'm hoping to scatter my late husband's cremains in the various Caribbean islands

 

Hi Derbytwo,

 

I just wanted to say that I am scattering the ashes of my mum and dad in the Caribbean sea too. I will be flying out with them next week. P&O have been brilliant in helping me organise all the legalities etc. By the way, I went to our funeral directors who supplied and transferred the remains into the required containers for me.

 

I hope it goes well for you. A lovely warm and peaceful place to lay our loved ones to rest.

 

Starry

[sapper1]

This thread has brought back thirty five year old memories. When my first husband died I asked the funeral director if I would be allowed to scatter the ashes at sea and he replied that I could scatter them wherever I wished.

 

Several months after my husband's funeral the children and I went out with friends and their children in their sailboat to an area off a lighthouse that my husband loved. We scattered the ashes there and then placed a floral wreath in the water. Then we opened a bottle of wine and had a toast. It was a beautiful sunny day and we all found this so much more comforting than a cold graveside service.

 

I write this to the OP to say that even after all these years I don't regret the decision to scatter ashes at sea rather than having a grave to visit. I truly wish you well in making your arrangements and in the eventual peace you will find.

[Krazy Kruizers]

Derbytwo

What a wonderful thing you are doing for your husband. You are brave to do this alone.

Read all the posts and see that you have everything in place.

Best wishes to you.

[scluvsrain]

Boytjie and Indokiwi, you both make some good points about ashes scattering. I will be solo on this cruise, so there won't be any kind of ceremony, although there will be someone from HAL supervising, I'd think, since I've already notified them. I've decided not to just "scatter" the cremains, for exactly those reasons you both stated. I've been looking online for a biodegradable container to place/toss overboard for my husband's ashes. If I'm going to do this, I intend to do it right. (Although I still plan to hold back a small amount - a couple of teaspoon's worth - to to mix with the waves on the few beaches I'll be visiting). I'm a bit freaked out both about cruising alone and the actual final goodbye to my husband, so I thank you all for your input. It helps.

 

I just scattered my father's ashes on my last cruise with HAL in October. I was sailing solo as well. The hotel staff were very kind and worked with me to pick a day and location (as in the sea, not on the ship) that I wanted for my Dad. On the appointed day and time a ship's officer escorted me to a quiet small deck at the aft of the ship and stood nearby quietly while I said goodbye to my Dad and then scattered his ashes.

 

The ship also provided me with a lovely certificate with my Dad's information, and it included the date and time of the scattering, along with the coordinates.

 

All in all, it was a nice self-directed service. And it was very emotional, so OP, you will most likely experience some heavy emotions.

[chefestelle]

This is such a lovely, poignant idea. I don't want to take away from the heartwarming sentiment but I have small words of advice. For the teaspoonfuls, stand behind the tide/wave as it goes in, spread the ashes and be ready to step out of the way of it going out. And make sure there are no birds handy. These small measures will ensure the sentiment remains the one you intended. I'm sending you a virtual warm hug of encouragement too. Such a lovely thing you are doing.

[ger_77]

I wonder how it turned out - you all realize this thread is a year old, right?

 

Smooth Sailing ! :) :) :)

[chefestelle]

No I didn't! I hope we hear back!

[spindrift]

DerbyTwo, My deepest sympathy for the loss of your dear husband.

 

I, too, lost my husband May 30th, and I will be burying him at sea as well. We had over 50 cruises together, and this is only appropriate.

 

Our burial will be from the Nieuw Amsterdam in March. MY TA contacted HAL for the arrangements, which, of course, must be in international waters. It will be held between 6 a.m. and 10 a.m. on March 14th. I will have our two daughters, one of their husbands, and our two grandsons as well as a couple of friends from home. I feel so fortunate to have their support.

 

I did take a cruise by myself for the first time in Oct./Nov. with some friends we had met on a previous cruise (the one just before he passed away) as well as a neighbor. This was very, very helpful, but I did do my own thing and we all had dinner together. Well, we did take some tours together. I felt that emptiness when I returned to my room, but we had a little snoopy who had always traveled with us, and he was there always, so it made it tolerable.

 

Just remember all those wonderful times and know that he is looking down on you and to having his freedom as his ashes are sent in the wind.

Edited January 18, 2016 by spindrift

[Seafoam Green]

DerbyTwo,

 

For the beach scatterings: bring the smallest size ziplock bags and put the ashes you wish to scatter in them. Take them with you as you wade out into the water, and open the bag to allow water in and the ashes to disburse. Tuck the bag away and dispose of it properly.

 

I took a small amount of a relative's ashes on a cruise and disbursed them this way at each stop, usually during a snorkeling excursion. It was done privately and respectfully, and I'm sure my relative would be pleased.

 

I'm sorry for your loss and wish you well as you complete the task.